[anxietyproblem]

[thememedaddy]

[adisgustingthing]

when i repeat the words to myself that were said to me

[adisgustingthing]

Reflection

This blog has been mostly me vomiting negative feelings into it. Getting things off my chest. The pain I have endured from others.

I can't recall if I have mentioned how I have also been on the wrong side of things and have sometimes been the bad guy.

One thing in thinking about this today is that I still have work to do to not be who I do not wish to be. In those past errors in my behavior, I've said "never again" but, even if I don't do those specific things again, am I still the same person or in the same mindset that lead me to doing those things? Partially, no. I have grown and know I actually have no desire to do anything near what I have done. However, some changes are still needed.

I can still succumb to things like social pressure. And even though I have stood my ground before days and days out, it just took a year of consistency of trying to push me out of my stance for that effort to be successful. So, I have to reflect and think about why it happened and who I am that pulled me towards doing things I was and am still against now. I need to change, still. Maybe it will take more time and more effort but if I really want to ensure that I never am the person I don't want to be again I have to keep at it.

[furiousgoldfish]

People who are starved out of conversation will approach it as if it was sacred, people who are starved out of touch experience any touch given to them as the highest form of intimacy, people starved out of gentleness will react to it as if it’s an invasion, an attempt to break them down, and people starved out of a community will approach it as if it was a minefield.

[dumblr]

If I cut you off, chances are, you handed me the scissors.

[chibird]

Frog tried out being mean once and couldn’t do it. 🥺 They’re just a softie at heart.

Chibird store | Positive pin club | Instagram

[enyafans4communism]

sorry my family didn’t teach me that i have a place among others so now i’m weird . sorry

[miseducatedmelanicmuse]

[adisgustingthing]

Been thinking about how some people are very kind to awful people. A kind person gifts the other something like time, care or an item. The gift is snatched up like it was stolen, leaving the kind person with scars on their hands.

[adisgustingthing]

So...after going through hell, I am exposed to what others think is hell and I'm thinking "That's it?"

The hellspawns have officially manipulated my worldview.

[cassandracalin]

[akindplace]

Mentalhealthceo

[furiousgoldfish]

me trying to be in a friendship/relationship: i just don’t want to hurt them, I will go above and beyond just to avoid causing them any pain or discomfort, I’m ready to shrink my problems so they don’t affect or upset this person, I do not want to leave a scar on their life like a lot of people have left on mine

me, some time later, after some shit went down: OH. They don’t care if they hurt me.

[adisgustingthing]

Realizing how I've done a disservice to myself in thinking about how unaccepted and unloved I am by those around me. Then I stopped to think about the people I love and going "Oh, yeahhh! I remember them. I love that person--I haven't talked to them in ages!"

Man do I need to put my mind and efforts into the right places.

[classycookiexo]

[adisgustingthing]

I'm in sad brain mode and, at this point, I'm going to have to pull out the borderline toxic coping mechanisms out.

[anxietyproblem]