I feel so damn bad for baran. what an awful day. imagine youāve lived almost your whole life with a disability and youāve worked so hard to get it under control and youāve managed it through incredibly stressful situations and youāve had your license for twelve years and then one day, the day you start your new job, the day you have to prove yourself, you have your first seizure in over a year? and youāre a doctor and you know the options that are available to you, some of which are very scary. and you choose to confide in your fellow attending about it and instantly your worst fears are realized. and then you canāt even drive home, because you are a good person and you wonāt take that risk. how important is driving for her? itās how she gets to her job, she probably drives her kid around. what a massive loss of her freedom and identity as a doctor in one fell swoop. I really really hope we get her back in season 3
There really is a lot to be said about the fact Janine CHOOSES to be kind. Like she puts in the effort every day to be a good person, to not behave like her mother, to be charitable and nice and treat everyone with respect and kindness (even those who are mean to her, like Ava, or who don't always return that respect, like Barb and Melissa). & you can see it when she got sad + drunk in the last episode and tore into Ava. Like she is always choosing to not be that way... & I really respect that about her. Plus, that is a really great way to add depth to her character. I can't wait to rewatch with this in mind and see how it changes my perception of her.
Quick note about Abbott and Janine'a read-of-the-century last night -
That was the best episode of the season. Janine getting drunk and mean as hell and reading Ava down first of all was a long time coming lmao Im sure I missed some for how hard I was laughing but when Ava didnt jump over that booth and get her I was like 'hell yes this is that compassion and character growth Ive been missing all season' (cuz they regressed my girl something serious and I was distraught yall)
Then the fact that she stayed over, even though Erika was there to help take care of her stood out to me because. It's not new that Ava comes through when people really need her to and this is no exception. We know Ava gets into some shenanigans and anyway let me get to my point - we don't know anything about Ava's mother and part of me wondered if her immediately jumping to compassion after the initial shock of being read by Janine (lmaoooo) was just her naturally knowing how to navigate difficult personalities or something that she had more intimate experience with. I was already thinking this then Janine goes and says she turns into Vanetta when she gets drunk
Idk this is out of left field because I am obsessed with rhe fact that Ava's grandmother had dementia, her estranged dad appeared out of nowhere and we have heard 0 mention of a mother, and Gregory and Barbara already have the dead mothers and Janine has Vanetta so either the writers don't care to elaborate on that or they do care and Ava'a mother is something serious and a possible NC situation (Gina and Barbara? Because where tf is Gina WE HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN YOU GEEN)
Anyway i forgot what else i was gonna say, send it
Since I'm insane and can't keep any of my hobbies separate I spent an entire day baking cookies based off of the gang.
Dee- lemon shortbread. Shortbread because its sweat and blonde, added lemon to give it a kick of sour that I feel that Dee has past the initial sweetness she tries to show. (I was tempted to add sunflower seeds to the top because shes a bird, but I felt like it'd be too much)
But speaking of too much, the ones I made for Frank are my own version of a kitchen sink cookie, "Trash cookies". I took random bullshit in my kitchen and threw it all in to a chocolate chip base. Felt like it fit his lifestyle. Very careless.
Dennis- molasses cookies. Molasses cookies are dark slightly bitter cookies, and I feel evil is more accicated with "darkness", evil things come out in the night and all. Along with the bitter, just like Dee, is apart of his personality. Also, Idk, they just fit the vibe. (Also, self glazing, but these were good as fuck.)
Charlie- sugar cookies with cream cheese frosting. I associate sugar cookies with a more child-like innocence. So because of the sweetness and association with childhood, I felt it suited Charlies personality. He has a certain childlike wonder sometimes that's brought on by his stupidity. Cream cheese frosting to add just an extra touch of Charlie because of his love for cheese, dyed green to be like paint as suggested by my friend.
Mac- lofthouse cookies with fruity frosting. Lofthouse cookies are a very soft and sweet cookie, often hated (at least from what I've seen online). I was going to shape them into shit like beer and foot balls because I was going for a whole "soft but molded into masculine shapes" thing, but turns out lofthouse batter is so wet its impossible..
One of my friends suggested it be fruity because he's gay, and honestly I thought that was funny, so its apple flavored frosting (also because of their whole apple thing)
little ava coleman headcanons ā§āĖ ā§āš²š ą¹ą£ ą£Ŗ Ė
played volleyball all throughout middle and high school (closeted bisexual behavior btw) alongside doing step
loved hot chocolate so much for some reason. like give her a cup and she could study for 3 hours straight.
effortlessly one of the brightest kids in the class. she was talented in math but preferred literature or history.
never got to read much books as a kid, though she loved to, fearing it would make her look āmore of a nerdā. so she loves to read anything that comes along her way as an adult.
she had a big friend group in middle school but always ended up feeling like the odd one out.
didnāt like to talk about her feelings with anyone really. she kept a diary, the ones with fake locks on them and kept the key close by at all times.
watched lots and lots of tv because she always finished up all her homework in no time. her favorites were ben10, hey arnold, totally spies, sponge bob and proud family. also she totally knows the first 2 seasons of āthatās so ravenā by heart.
she had a furby she named after one of the girls she ādidnāt likeā at school. (tinyjanine420)
got a thing for beybladeās but her father only allowed her to get one. so she played with the other people at school and bet on it. almost always won.
her favorite fruit is either peach or blackberries. she loved to get the dirt of it under her fingernails and let the smell linger afterwards.
when the princess and the frog movie came out she was almost 20, but she cried nonetheless. probably her favorite animated film ever since.
always picked out her own clothes and dresses. she barely had a chance to go out shopping with his father so she made sure to make the best of it.
my girl just loves birthdays and birthday parties and birthday surprises and pink birthday cakes and the attention being on her for the whole day!
definitely had a shopkins addiction. traded with the girls at school, telling them herās were limited edition (they rarely were) and getting two or even three for only one in return. thatās how she grew an insane collection. she pretends not to know where they are now but is still proud of it in secret.
wore fluffy tiaras whenever she felt like it.
she had an innate sense of style. like she wore things before they were in. she made sure it was appreciated by people around her.
never liked to play out in the dirt and get her hands dirty or trip on the playground. she swears she never got a bruise in her life from falling. she had, three to be exact. hated every single minute of them all.
made a girl cry once in 3rd grade and felt terrible afterwards. even though she feigned ignorance.
she could sleep anywhere. didnāt matter the time, the place, the noise, how stimulated she was. if she wanted to sleep she just laid her head somewhere and cold out just like that.
i believe itās canon she loved lilā kim as a kid so i think sheād also listen to: missy elliot, foxy brown, mya and obviously beyonce (or just destinyās child)
field trip days were his favorite days ever! thatās why heās still so enthusiastic about them. he wants all the kids to feel the way he did as a kid.
had lots of dinosaur themed stuff! pyjamas with t-rex prints, tiny figurines of different dinosaurs (the one with spikes at its back was his favorite), coloring books
he got bullied a lot :( for which he failed to understand why as a kid. almost always failed to insult back so he just stood there with his face red and fists clenched.
begged to his parents to stay up for the late night shows, was mostly denied so he just dreamed about being in one instead.
has terrible fomo
absolutely couldnāt stand caillou. he thought he was annoying and never let his father go to work.
found out he was gay around 9th grade when he had lots of girl friends but felt intimidated by befriending any boy his age.
walked the mile in p.e. for sure. was never very talented in sports and only joined the swim team for fun. he liked swimming. no mirrors, no air, no talking much, just the water. (is it obvious im a swimmer)
was uncharacteristically quiet as a kid. didnāt feel like he had anything to say.
liked to heat up the empty stove at night when he couldnāt sleep and just watch the color show up in the dark.
was afraid of insects (except ladybugs)
loved playing outside with caleb but hated the part where he ran faster than him
when in the supermarket with his family, secretly went to the magazine aisle and shuffled through them as best as he could. he was caught by his little brother once or twice, had to threaten him to not tell their parents.
gave a valentine to one of the boys in his class in 4th grade. all the girls where giving him one and he didnāt get why he couldnāt.
easter was his favorite holiday. eggs. colors. i donāt know why. thatās just it.
started to make breakfast for both himself and caleb before school when their parents started working earlier or didnāt wake up. you could say he was good at it.
secretly enjoyed totally spies when they āforgot to turn the channelā but if asked he would strictly say dragon tales was his favorite show
Jacob is so interesting to me in the sense he sort of represents the self-hating consumerist/instant-gratification-centered culture visible amongst USAmerican Millennials and GenZ. Like I'm thinking of S3's Smoking specifically, where at the end he is so desperate for an instant fix to his nicotine addiction (*hits my vape*) that he buys a $200 hunk of metal to try and fix himself. It just reminded me of my generation's (and my own) tendency towards pathologization, towards seeking an instant or semi-instant fix-all "pill" (which can be anything: a new exercise regimen, a literal pill, a self-help course) that will fix an issue only solvable through sustained effort. He's desperate to end his addiction, but his mindset is still mired in a foundation of one-click satisfaction. So he falls for a classic American scam, one that preys on people like him.
Okay I'll admit I've always headcannoned Jacob as a Mormon... but I was goofing around and apparently there are prominent LDS Church members with the last names Merrill and Whitney, with Merrill (Jacob's middle name) being a key figure in the development of Mormon educational programs. Huh! I'm sure it's a happy accident but... I like to think it's on purpose.
Haven't been very online lately, but just logged onto ao3 and I am LIVING for all the abbott angst fics on there- writers, I see you and I love you all
@promisingthings re: songs about Jacobā¦ I liked your analysis a lot. I have thought about songs that fit Jacob off and on, so I thought I might add to your budding collection.
Hey, Who Really Cares by Linda Perhacs (specifically for the narrator asking for someone to listen to them)
I Must Not Think Bad Thoughts by X. (Just feels very Jacobā¦ the lyrics, the mantra of āI must not think bad thoughts,ā the themes of social justice & anxiety about the state of the world, just the anxiety of it in generalā¦ + American history. This is my #1 Jacob song lol)
Did My Best by The Voidz (how I imagine his childhood and life has been (to a degree). Loneliness & the growing awareness you donāt fit in and struggle to get along with people)
(Maybeā¦ could be too angsty) I Canāt by Radiohead (because of the theme of social awkwardness. May be a bit too dramatic.)
Why Canāt We Be Friends by War. Obviously. Hahaha.
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