Little 101: coming out to your partner
Hello everyone, just your everyday friendly Tonberry here bringing you another Little 101. This one will focus on telling your partner about your little space and how to ask them to be your carer!
First thing is first..the talk
So you decided to come out to your partner! That is great! I know you are nervous and the unknown of it might be scary. Yes, you should be prepared that they do not want to be part of your little space and you shouldn’t make them feel bad for that. It’s not for everyone. However, chances are good that they will accept you and your little side!
First, you should sit down with them…alone. Don’t break this to them while they are distracted by other people around. Besides who you want in your little space should be selective so you don’t want someone over hearing it that you aren’t ready with letting them in. Tell them about little space and what it means to you. Explain to them as much as you are willing to.
Next, ask them if they would like to observe you in little space. Explain that if they do not want to interact then it is fine but you would like them to see what it is like. Do not force it on them and be prepared that if you do show them and they decide that it is a bit weird to them then you should stop.
When you show them your little space do not automatically refer to them as you would a caregiver. You haven’t asked them to be that yet and assuming is never good. Do whatever you do regularly when you are alone or with little friends. If they feel like participating in activities like coloring and stuff that is fine but let them do it on their own.
Asking them the big question…
I think this is the hardest part. You may even be more nervous about this than you were telling them about your little space. I suggest if they are comfortable to let them see you in little space a few times before you ask. When you do sit down to ask them you should explain to them what a caregiver does and what you would like out of them being your caregiver…here are some things that should be touched on..
What you would like them to do with you while you are in little space: Like join in on coloring and other activities. Calling you certain names.
Rewards, Punishments, and things like that. I realize that not everyone likes having rules or punishments so you should explain to them their stance on this.
How often you go into little space and explain to them that not every time that you are in little space do they need to act like a caregiver. They need their normal time too. The point is to make them comfortable.
Oh my goodness they said yes…
That is great and I am so happy for you! I would suggest that you ease them into their new role. Yes be in little space around them but maybe not every day or every time you go into little space. Let them get the feel of it and don’t forget to communicate with them. Talk about what you liked and didn’t like and what they liked and didn’t like. Make that space the best for both of you!
They said they didn’t want to…
Ouch! Sorry I know that must hurt! However, this does not mean that they do not love and care about you. Talk about whether they are comfortable with you having a platonic caregiver and whether or not you can be little in front of them with them still being comfortable.
You do not have to stop having a normal relationship with them if this is not their thing! You should respect that and still love them regardless! They should also continue to treat you the same.
This is about all the advice I can think of right now. IF you have questions or concerns or would like to add to this you are welcome to send me a message or ask. You can also comment on this post. I love feed back.
For more 101s search my blog for tonberry101s or visit this link for my masterlist.
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