“Do it scared” “do it alone” are all great tips, but my biggest takeaway from therapy is do it messy. This is especially true if you’re getting out of a burnout, which I experience often. Literally just do it messy. You don’t need to pick the perfect trail to walk, the perfect playlist to listen to, whatever the fuck it is. You don’t need to have a meticulous to do list and wake up at the exact time you planned and drink the exact amount of water you planned to drink. Like the biggest thing for people like me to remember is sometimes it’s okay to do it messy. Put on a random yt workout and just get it done in sweats. Do 5 minutes of a daunting task and go from there. Sometimes just getting up is a win during intense burnouts or depressive funks. Literally just do it messy.
so there's that fairytale all over asia w the hunter/cowherd/woodsman stumbling across a bathing fairy/maiden and stealing her clothes. then he wont give it back until she marries him 👀👉🏼👈🏼
i mean!! i havent decided on someone, mebbe big gruff curtis or cocky steve 😖💕 but you're naked and small, trying to hide yourself in the water while this big mortal holds your dress out of reach and he's so mean!! he says you can have it back if you're a good little fairy for him 🥺
i've never heard of that oh my !! BRANDY I LOVE THIS !!
let's go with steve !! hunter!steve is big and burly, living in his cabin and the best in the business for tracking/hunting animals. he's got his long hair and beard, ultimate daddy era, and he's so dirty !! clad in fur and leather from his prey (perhaps even some from other mythological creatures).
You try to cover yourself, holding onto any sliver of modesty you have left. The hunter just raises a brow and holds out the thin cotton woven with skeleton leaves. A small gasp flutters from your lips as a flower falls to the ground, joining your vine and twig crown.
"You want this back, don't you?" His voice is deep and rumbling. he waits for a few moments, then his blue eyes narrow to slits. "Can you speak?"
You nod hesitantly, shivering as a cold gust brushes along your wet skin. The sun sets behind the trees, bathing the pond in a yellow glow. Your skin gleams naturally, sparkling brighter than the stars. Steve would give anything to touch it, to feel you.
"Would you rather be a good fairy, or freeze and die there instead?"
You stand quickly, the water sloshes and ripples spread throughout the calm. Your teeth chatter from the abrupt rush of air and your thighs clench tightly, inevitably drawing the hunter's gaze. You quickly shield yourself, ignoring your hardening nipples against your palms.
"Good girl, now c'mon. It's getting dark, and you don't wanna be here when the beasts come out." The blond tuts, swinging his rifle over his broad shoulder. "The gods know they'll devour you in the blink of an eye."
Do you guys remember how kidnap fantasies were popular on wattpad because young girls and queer teens were both made to feel shame at the thought of their own sexualities, so the fantasy of being kidnapped totally against their will was a way for them to engage with a romantic or sexual fantasy without feeling morally in the wrong for doing so? Added bonus that the fantasy involved being whisked away from repressive environments like home or school, right?
Finding out that Bram Stoker was in a sexless marriage and that scholars believe that he very likely was closeted gay puts the entire book into perspective as to WHY it reads EXACTLY like a self insert wattpad Dracula kidnap fic:
"I TOTALLY love my wife and would never do anything that an upstanding Good Straight Working Man wouldn't do but oh nooo, big strong man with broad back and strong enough arms to carry me back to bed like a princess trapped me and claimed me as his, completely against my will 👉👈 But he protects me against the bad evil sexual women (who I assure you, I am TOTALLY sexually attracted to, as any straight man with a choice would be) but trust me, I do NOT want ANY of this. What's that? The Count is not capable of feeling love? Would be a shame if I had the special ability to change tha-"
This is also the fantasy behind all those old bodice-ripper romances that people today like to mock or call problematic, by the way.
"Oh, my next forty years are going to consist of nothing but washing dishes and keeping house and bearing children for the disdainful man I married right out of high school because my parents said college was for men and I had no other obvious life path open to me? What if a pirate captain thought I was worth stealing away from it all? [what if I ran away but no-one could blame me for leaving]?"
EvanStan together with fans in the bar of their hotel in Leipzig, Germany (confirmed by ladyalexandros on instagram) on 18/08/2015. (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x)
imagine bucky having a really bad day, like maybe business went wrong and it’s causing a lot of stress and problems, then he takes it out on fairy 😱 how would she react?
this probably isn't what you'd expect but
a man's place
18+
Bucky's having a bad day. He makes the mistake of taking it out on you.
Warning: Mob!Bucky x Wife!Reader, mature themes, arguing, angry!bucky, bucky is an asshole, physical violence (not from bucky!), brief mention of abuse.
Series Masterlist
Seventeen million dollars.
Seventeen million dollars just got flushed down the toilet because of an avoidable mistake. Because of an over-sensitive arms dealer that got offended at a joke one of Bucky's men made.
Bucky's pissed. He feels as pathetic as he probably looks, lying on the couch in his office with a bottle of whisky held to his chest. He's yelled at everyone in sight today, making sure they all know how incompetent they are.
But they're only a reflection of his leadership.
Today marks thirteen years since his father died. Thirteen years since he was forced into a position of power that no teenager should have been burdened with. And all that Bucky feels is the heavy weight of disappointment.
He will never live up to the name George left behind. He's a failure. Destroying the legacy that generations of Barnes men and women put into place. His empire is falling apart at the seams, and Bucky fears he doesn't have the strength to keep it together.
Deciding his mindset won't lead to any productivity today, he goes home. Seeing his men just makes him even angrier.
The drive home does nothing to dissipate his anger. When he gets there, he still can't shake off his frustration from today. Usually, his stress melts off the second he enters the home he shares with you, but the events of today are too heavy for him to drop.
You're in the kitchen when you hear him come home, and you're surprised when he doesn't call out to you straight away. You decide to give him some space. Maybe he's tired.
When he goes straight upstairs without looking for you downstairs first, you know something's off.
Patiently, you wait for him to return downstairs, not wanting to push him if he's seeking alone time. You know he's been feeling on edge recently with George's death anniversary fast approaching, and he needs to process his nuanced grief in his own way.
When you hear him go into the lounge, you walk in, refusing to leave him alone any longer. You walk in to see him sitting on the couch with a glass of whisky and his laptop on his lap.
"Hey, you," You greet him, expecting him to start complaining about his day and asking you to make it better.
He grunts.
That's it. That's all you get back.
"Shit, okay," You utter, not impressed by his blatant disrespect. "Dinner's gonna be ready in ten; I used the rest of the chicken to make enchiladas."
"Not hungry," He utters bluntly while typing on the keyboard.
Alright. You understand he can get into a bad mood sometimes and it's a tough time for him, but by now, he knows better than to take it out on you.
"You could at least look at me when I'm talking to you," You tell him sternly, patient no more.
"I'm busy, alright?" He spits harshly, taking you aback.
"Who the actual fuck do you think you're talking to, right now?" You ask him with a glare, appalled by his tone.
He slams his laptop shut and gets up to his feet. "Can you just leave me alone?" He seethes.
You see red. "Are you fucking kidding me?" You ask, storming over to him.
"Leave me alone, Y/N," He demands, using your real name for the first time in a long, long time. "I don't have time for your shit today, alright?"
"Don't be such a cunt," You yell, infuriated by the way he's talking to you.
Bucky takes a step closer to you, his eyes filled with fury. "Watch your fucking mouth, and get out of my sight, now," He yells back at you, stepping even closer as if he could ever intimidate you- as if you could ever believe he'd hit you.
It seems he's forgotten who you are to him. Who you are, full stop. So, you set out to remind him
You kick him in the balls.
He keels over with a groan immediately, falling to his knees at your feet. His cheeks flush pink as he falls onto his side, clutching his crotch with both hands like a pathetic piece of shit.
"Don't you ever speak to me like that, you fucking prick," You spit as you glare down at him. "I am your equal. You do not talk down to me or treat me like I am subordinate."
He blows out air through his gritted teeth, looking up at you. "Fa- fairy, I'm sorry."
"You may be the big bad Barnes out there, but in here, you are my husband. Remember that," You state frankly. "You do not intimidate me. I'm not a fucking punching bag."
"I am so sorry," Bucky says, as he slowly gets onto his knees. "Fairy, you know that it would never go that far. I would never lay a hand on you. No matter how angry I get."
"Maybe you've been thinking about your dad a lot recently, and you're trying to be more like him," You say coldly. "But it is not a man's place to disrespect his wife the way you just did."
"You're right," He says, looking up at you with wide eyes. "I fucked up. I shouldn't have-"
"I don't wanna hear it," You cut him off, taking a step back. "I'm going to Banita's. I'll be back when I want to be back."
"No, don't leave," Bucky begs you, shaking his head.
"Goodbye, James," You utter bluntly, before leaving the room.
don't mess with fairy >:-[
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Do you mind writing abt bucky getting jealous bc fairy has been fucking the same guy for a while so he's afraid of her being committed to someone else? Tysm, & I love ur work!
sounds good. thank you!
pickle man
18+
When Bucky tells you to end things with the guy you're seeing because he doesn't trust him, you ask him to point someone out he does trust - enter Dane Whitman; a seemingly innocent, gentle creature. What Bucky didn't expect, however, was for Dane to have you wrapped around his finger.
Content Warning: Mob!Bucky x Best Friend!Reader, protective!bucky, mutual pining, mention of sex, light smut, Dane Whitman x Reader, slight angst, possessive!bucky, ever so slightly dark!bucky. Set pre-wedding!
Series Masterlist
note: finally got around to watching game of thrones so this is my way of writing a jon snow fic (dane is kit harington's character in eternals hehe)
another note: this has been in my drafts for over a year oops (i finished game of thrones ages ago)
"It was right here. I could've sworn it," Bucky mutters, shaking his head.
"Maybe it's moved?" You ask with a shrug.
"None of the other stalls have moved," He points out, before his eyes light up. "There he is!" Suddenly, he takes your hand and drags you over to a small stall where a man stands selling a range of jarred pickles.
"This is what I was talking about," Bucky says with a grin, picking up a jar. "Tastes just like how my Aunt makes them back home."
"They're on special offer today," The man tells him with a polite smile. "Two for six dollars."
Bucky's already rifling through his wallet and taking out a handful of cash to hand to him. "Here. I'll take it all."
While the man excitedly packages up all the jars with stars in his eyes, you pull Bucky back and huff. "Now, can we talk about Lin?" You ask with a pout.
"I've told you where I stand," Bucky says sternly.
"What about where I stand?" You counter stubbornly.
"He's bad news," He states, brows furrowing. "What have I told you about dating guys like that?"
"But I'm bored," You whine, pulling on his arm. "You never let me date anyone. How am I supposed to get my dose of male validation?"
"I validate you more than necessary," He points out flatly. "Don't be so greedy."
"Sometimes, a girl needs a little fling," You say, before gasping. "I have the best idea!"
He raises a brow. "Yeah? And what's that, fairy?"
"I'll let you pick someone for me to have a one night stand with," You suggest with a grin. "That way, there's literally no way you won't approve of him."
Taking a few moments to think about it, Bucky sighs. "Anyone I pick?"
"Absolutely anyone," You confirm. "I just want someone to have fun with."
He narrows his eyes at you, contemplating his options for a while.
"Here you go, Sir," The man at the stall says as he pushes forward the eight bags of jars. "But you've overpaid - here's your change."
"No need, keep it," Bucky says.
"Wow, thank you!" The man says with a smile.
Suddenly, Bucky turns back to you. "Alright, fairy, I'll go for your bright idea," He says, filling you with excitement.
"Yes! Who do you have in mind?" You ask, half-expecting, and hoping, that he offers up one of his men.
With a sly smirk, he smugly says, "Pickle man." He's sure the man will bore you pretty quickly, which is why he's so confident in choosing him as your suitor.
You're taken aback, thrown for a loop as you look back at the man behind the stall. In all honesty, he's not bad looking, and you're sure you can have some fun with him. With a smile, you look back up at Bucky. "Alrighty, then," You say mischievously. "And remember- you picked him!"
"Dane!"
"C'mere, darling," He growls, nuzzling his face into your neck as he pins you to the bed. "You're not going anywhere."
"I'm gonna be so late," You complain through laughter.
"Just call in sick," Dane mutters, grinding his semi against your crotch. "Stay. Let's fuck all day."
You let out a sigh when he finds that spot on your neck, in utter bliss. It was only meant to be a one-night thing; you weren't planning on seeing him again after Friday, but now it's Tuesday and he's still here.
"Be a good girl and stay here with me."
And you're not complaining.
Dane flips you onto your stomach with no warning before sliding his hand down your abdomen. When he reaches your pussy, his fingers rub through your folds and rub on your clit, making you writhe beneath him.
"Oh, fuck, Dane," You moan, grabbing fistfuls of the sheets. "Just like that."
Just as he sinks two fingers into your entrance, you hear the sound of the front door opening.
Immediately, you push yourself up and frown. "What the fuck?" You whisper.
"Expecting someone?" Dane asks, continuing to fuck you with his fingers with no shame.
"I- fuck, I don't know," You reply, unable to produce a coherent thought.
"Fairy?"
Your eyes shoot open and you grab Dane's hand. "Wait. It's Jamie," You hiss, quickly moving from under him and getting up to your feet.
Dane just lets out a disappointed grunt while you rush to grab your nightgown and pull it on. You speed out your room and make sure to shut the door behind you, walking out to the living room.
Bucky's standing by the kitchen island on his phone, and he looks up when he hears you walk in, smiling when he sees you. "Hey, sleepy head," He greets you with a raised brow. "You're not ready for work yet?"
"Uh, I guess not," You say as you walk closer to him, glancing back towards the hall before whispering, "Dane's here."
Bucky immediately frowns at your words. "What? Pickle man? He's still here?" He asks incredulously.
"Mhm," You hum as you lean against the counter with a dreamy smile. "He's... incredible, Jamie."
"Oh, yeah?" He asks, in pure disbelief.
"He's an animal," You say, grinning. "An insatiable animal."
Bucky's hands clench into fists at the thought of another man being insatiably animalistic with you, but does his best to keep calm. "Pretty long one night stand," He comments flatly.
"I know!" You exclaim giddily. "I wasn't planning on asking him to stay this long, but... you know that feeling when you just don't want someone to leave?"
All too fucking well.
Bucky nods slowly, resting his hands on his hips. "Alright. Okay, fairy, you have your fun," He states casually, taking a step closer to you. "But once he's out that door, that's it. He's never coming over again."
His order makes you frown. "But-"
"No buts," He cuts you off sternly. "You heard me. And you do as I say, don't you?"
Deciding not to piss him off, you nod. "Yes, Jamie."
With his brows still furrowed together, he leans forward to kiss your forehead. "I'll pick you up in a couple hours for lunch," He tells you before leaving.
When the door shuts, you hear Dane calling out for you. As much as you don't wanna piss Bucky off, you also don't want to deprive yourself of Dane's skills.
"Come on, baby," He calls from the bedroom. "I'm so fuckin' hard for you."
You bite your lip. There's no way you're letting him leave.
You walk through to the back of the club, bopping your head to the beat of the loud music. As you approach the security guards at the red rope, you open your mouth to say, "Hi, we're-"
"Of course, Miss Y/L/N," One of them quickly says, having recognized you from the countless times you've been in here with Bucky. He seems a little confused when he sees you holding Dane's hand, but he says nothing as he opens the rope to let you both walk through to the VIP area where Bucky's sitting with Sam and a few others.
Everyone looks surprised to see you with your gentleman friend - it's the first time you've brought one to the club. Sam and Peter each sneak looks at Bucky to gauge his reaction, but he does his best to keep the annoyance off his face.
Sam's the first on his feet, greeting you with a quick hug. "All good, Y/N?" He asks you, giving Dane a look of distrust.
"Sam, this is Dane," You introduce with a smile. "Dane, Sam."
The others aren't very welcoming to Dane, least of all Bucky. He watches with a silent glare and a clenched jaw as you dance and drink carelessly in his arms, but he remains in his seat, refusing to let his anger get the best of him.
With a firm handshake, Sam gives Dane a simple nod.
"Peter," You whisper, pulling him closer. "This is the guy I told you about who's been rocking my world."
Nodding slowly, Peter looks Dane up and down. "Nice."
It was his choice. He did tell you to sleep with the fucking pickle man - but he didn't think you'd carry on seeing him, and definitely not for this long. In an attempt to take his mind off of you and off of how badly he wants to yank you out of the pickle man's arms and back into his, where you belong, Bucky decides to distract himself.
She's not you. And he wants her to be you. But you're with him.
The woman on his lap is saying and doing all the right things, but he just can't get into it. Whenever he looks at her, he can only see all the parts of her face that make her so different to you. Her voice isn't anything like yours, making him cringe whenever she whispers in his ears. Her body doesn't feel the same in his hands, her hair doesn't graze gently across his skin like yours does when the breeze blows through it when he drives you around in the convertible.
Fuck it.
It's been an hour since you arrived. Bucky gestures for the woman to get off him before he stands up and makes his way over to where you're standing at the bar with Dane. Sam nudges Peter with wide eyes, nodding towards you as they eagerly wait to watch the situation unfold.
"Watch this," Sam says smugly. "And you say he isn't a sap for her."
Bucky approaches you just as you place your lips on Dane's and clears his throat, forcing you two to pull apart.
"Jamie!" You exclaim gleefully.
He looks at Dane with a firm stare. "Give me a minute," Bucky states, and it's not the least polite way he's ever whisked you away from another man.
Dane happily agrees, giving you a quick kiss before disappearing. The peck makes you smile wider, which Bucky doesn't fail to notice. He holds back an eye roll as he moves closer to you.
"What did I tell you last month, hmm?" He asks you with a raised brow.
"You said he's not coming back to my place once he leaves," You remind him innocently. "I haven't brought him back to my place since."
Bucky's anger is simmering within him, the flare of his nostril exposing his dormant rage to you. "Don't get smart with me, fairy," He warns you. "You've had your fun. Now tell him to fuck off."
"But I like him!" You claim with a pout. "What's your problem with him Jamie? He's nice, and safe, and exactly the opposite of all the guys you forbid me from dating."
You've got him there. Dane is the epitome of a nice guy, at least outside the bedroom, and he's the safe option Bucky's been begging you to go for since he met you. But he never thought you actually would. He thought he'd always be telling you to dump assholes and bad men, and he found comfort in that. Comfort in the fact that he had an actual reason to disapprove of the other men in your life. Here, though, he has no leg to stand on. No reason to disapprove, other than-
"I don't like seeing you with him."
Taken aback, you raise a brow. "Excuse me?" You ask him with a scoff. "And who the fuck-"
Suddenly, Bucky grabs your arm and pulls you closer. "Do not ask me who I am, Y/N, when you know the answer," He says gravely, staring deeply into your eyes. "When you know you're mine."
Your stomach flips as your heart races. It's rare that Bucky shows this side of him, and you almost forget it exists sometimes. Since the start, he's had an unspoken hold over you - one that you openly let him have. Part of being the King of New York's closest friend means belonging to him. Though you aren't one of his henchmen, there is still a power dynamic in play, no matter how slight or subtle. You know he could have Dane killed in seconds with just one look at Sam, and that's what you signed up for when you agreed to be his friend. You have to take the ugly with the good and the bad. Bucky's a nice man, nicer than most have ever been to you, but he's also a powerful man. And powerful men get what they want.
"What do you want me to do, Jamie?" You ask him, fully prepared to obey whatever order he gives you.
He places a hand on your waist, stroking the exposed skin of your hip with his thumb. "Tell him it's over," Is his demand. He utters it lowly, with a sense of finality. The tone you usually only ever hear him use with his men. It says this isn't negotiable. There's no arguing. No talking back. And he doesn't like using that tone with you - that's why he rarely ever does. He doesn't want to be someone you're afraid of, but there are times like this when he can't help but exert some of his power over you.
"Okay," You say with a nod.
His hand squeezes your hip. "Good girl," Bucky mumbles, using his other hand to cup your cheek. "Go on. I'll be here when you're done."
You nod again, accepting the soft kiss on your forehead before turning to leave him. Making your way over to Dane, you'd usually feel sick to your stomach knowing you're about to hurt someone's feelings, but you only feel calm knowing it's what Bucky wants.
He's sitting with Sam and Peter and drinking a beer. When he sees you, he sits up with a smile. "Hey, baby," He greets you, holding his hand out to you.
You take it and sit next to him, before giving Peter and Sam pointed looks. "Could you guys give us a minute, please?"
They agree and walk away, leaving the two of you alone. "Everything okay?" Dane asks you. "Your friends are cool. That Sam guy's pretty intense, though. Practically interrogated me."
"Ha, yeah, he can be like that," You say with an awkward laugh. "Uh, so, listen..."
"Oh, no. Using your serious voice," He says with a chuckle, placing a hand on your thigh. "What's up?"
With a sigh, you look him in the eyes. "I've had so much fun the past few weeks with you, Dane, but... I don't think we should see each other anymore," You say with a wince.
His face drops. "Oh," He utters, taking his hand off your thigh. "Is it because I almost accidentally put it in your ass last night?"
"No, it's not," You assure him. "It's just... this wasn't ever supposed to be long-term, you know?"
Dane nods slowly. "Right. I get it," He mumbles, unable to meet your eyes.
"Sorry," You whisper before standing up and walking back over to Bucky, who's nursing a whisky at the bar with a smug look on his face. "You look happy," You comment with a raised brow.
"Did you end it?" He asks, though there's no reason to.
"Mhm," You reply, sinking into his side.
Meanwhile, Sam and Peter walk back over to a somber looking Dane.
"That's my girl," Bucky says, kissing your cheek as he wraps his arm around you. "Did he take it well?"
"Like a champ," You answer him.
"Good," He utters. "Now, what do you say to us getting out of here and getting some food?"
Looking up at him with a smile, you nod. "Sounds like a plan, Jamie."
"Hey, man," Sam says bluntly. "You alright?"
Dane, keeping his eyes on the table, nods. "I will be," He replies.
Sam rolls his eyes but does well not to tell Dane to stop feeling sorry for himself. "You'll be good, man," He tells him. "Plenty more fish in the sea."
With that, Sam walks away, while Peter sticks around. He clears his throat and looks around before subtly slipping a piece of paper with his phone number on into Dane's hand. Taken aback, Dane looks up at Peter with wide eyes.
"For, y'know, if you're feeling lonely tonight," Peter says, before quickly scooting off again.
poor dane </3 but the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else :P
mob!bucky masterlist
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“Most fathers want their sons to look exactly like them - inside and out. I don’t want you to be like me. There’s something wrong with me, always has been. The more I look at you, the less I know. And the less I know, the more scared I am.”
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