For @adorible
Sorry this took longer than I anticipated, I hope you like it
You had been dreading this week for quite some time. Your horribly racist cousin David was getting married, and your grandparents desperately wanted you to come. He was racist in every which way, monsters, humans, just a right xenophobic asshole. But your grandparents hadn’t seen you in a while, and didn’t have time to visit outside of the wedding. You had agreed originally to go with the idea that your partner at the time would come along, but just two weeks prior you both had called the relationship quits. You sat at your desk, listening to some Type O- while searching dating profiles. You didn’t really want a real date, just someone who would come along as a friend but pretend to be a real date. Then a profile popped up that made you cackle with glee! A scary skeleton monster with sharp teeth. Oh this would really rub David the wrong way, but he wouldn’t really be able to do boo with the family there. Hopefully this skeleton dude would go along with it? You figured honesty was best policy here, all cards on the table. You reached out and messaged them.
[You: Hey. I have a proposal if you’re up for it. You seem like a cool guy, and I need a as-friends date for a (racist) cousins wedding. Really piss him off ya know? You’d have to pretend to actually be my date though, I know it’s kinda cliche but no pressure. ]
[Sans: what do i get outta this?]
Oh. Huh. You hadn’t really thought of that.
[You: I dunno… I mean obviously free food and drink? But what would you want that would make it worth your while?]
You hit send before you realized the implications that could be taken from that. Shit. You hoped that he wouldn’t notice or use that to his advantage. You worried at your bottom lip thinking of something else to offer, when the notification of a response went off.
[Sans: free food & drink is good. I wanna bring my bro too though. He can be 2nd date if ya want]
WHAT?! I mean, that be hilarious as heck, but the gossip to be had for months about you after that…screw it. It’s totally worth it.
[You: you know what? That sounds freakin hilarious and awesome to be honest. Sure. Bring your brother along. Do you guys wanna meet up sometime before the wedding to talk things over or something? It’s in five days]
[Sans: hahaha srsly? You’re killin me. Alright. There’s a band I like comin’ to town, quiet little bar though. Wanna go to that?]
[You: sure, heres my number. Txt me the details. xxx-xxxx]
The two of you texted back and forth for a while, he added his brother to a separate group chat too. His brother Papyrus came across a bit blunt and intense but it was refreshing, and kind of cool. You thought it was a bit odd that Sans called Papyrus Boss, but they shrugged it off and you put it to rest.
You guys all met up at the bar in the middle of the week, it was good food and drink. There had been some time to discuss plans while eating, and you quite enjoyed the kickass music. Both Sans and Papyrus seemed to have a good time, which made you feel better about the whole thing. You would even say that you could do this again, they were pretty awesome guys to hang out with.
The morning of the wedding you got ready in excitement. You were wearing a high waisted crimson pantsuit with big black buttons. You had left the jacket open to show the gorgeous black chiffon blouse you wore. It had a high neck with ruffle detail, and a soft crimson rose and faded black leaves pattern. On your feet you had thrown on ankle high flat leather boots, and you had done your makeup and hair just the way you liked. You were pacing around in your foyer, all your doubts starting to creep up on you. What if David decided to say something anyway? These guys were cool, you really didn’t want to put them through that. Your thoughts were interrupted by the doorbell, and you grabbed your wallet, phone and keys and answered the door.
Both Sans and Papyrus were waiting for you at the door, and your jaw just about fell off. Papyrus was wearing a black satin suit and dress shirt, the jacket lined with crimson. He had a crimson tie and gloves as well, and his black leather belt was adorned by a gold skull buckle. Sans was wearing black slacks and dress shirt, a crimson vest, and black suspenders. His suspender clasps were little gold bottles of mustard.
“Ya got a little somethin there…” Sans chuckled, while pointing to your chin.
You felt your face flush, and you swatted his hand jokingly away from you. “Shuttup I do not.”
“YES, WHILE THE STATE OF YOUR SHOCK AT SANS ABILITY TO ‘CLEAN UP’ IS QUITE AMUSING, I BELIEVE WE MUST BE OFF,” Papyrus pointed out, gesturing toward a black 2021 Chevrolet Camaro. He opened the passenger door for you to slide in the back. You opted to sit behind Sans as you figured Papyrus would need the leg room.
You arrived at the venue, and after finding parking (Papyrus didn’t trust the valet) you walked in with a skeleton on each arm. You found your grandparents and approached them, quietly introducing Sans and Papyrus. Your grandpa just huffed but shook both their hands anyway. Papyrus kissed your grandma’s hand however and she almost burst into a fit of giggles, and she winked at you. You all shared a row, another couple sitting on either end. The wedding was okay; the furious look David shot you while he was waiting for his bride, filled you with a sense of justice. After the wedding at the reception you were relieved to find that you were sitting at your grandparents table. There was a moment where the ushers almost didn’t let Sans and Papyrus come in, but when you made it explicitly clear that they were your dates you were all let through. Both skeletons went to pull out your chair, but you had pulled out two for them on either side of you. You all grinned sheepishly and sat down. In hindsight you were glad that you were all at an “extra” table so the fact you brought two dates was okay. Just goes to show you how David really felt about you and your accepting grandparents. Supper and speeches went by relatively quick compared to what you’ve witnessed in the past, and soon it was time to dance. The bride and groom had their dance, and went on to socialize with their guests. Papyrus stood, and offered his hand out to you to dance. You placed your hand in his and he led you out on to the dance floor. Papyrus was an amazing dancer and you told him as much.
“You Aren’t So Bad Yourself Y/n” he said softly on the top of your head.
The song ended before you knew it, and you two were interrupted by Sans. The next song was slower, and Sans pulled you in close.
“you look stunnin’ tonight y/n, just wanted ya to know,” he hummed in your ear. You were glad your face was in his shoulder, it hid your warm face well. The dance was rudely disrupted by the announcer calling out for the bouquet toss. You got the heck out of dodge and tried to avoid the clamoring group starting to gather. You stood back enough that you hoped you wouldn’t get trampled. However, just as the bride tossed the bouquet, Sans playfully pushed you into the group and the flowers fell right onto your head and bounced into your arms. Sans was damn near rolling on the floor, and even Papyrus was covering his mouth attempting to cover up his chuckling. You grinned, and took the opportunity for humour. Clutching the flowers tightly you ran across the dance floor throwing individuals flowers back at the group chasing after you. The bride was laughing so hard she was crying, but David was seeing red.
He grabbed the microphone from the announcer and spit furiously into it, “ENOUGH!! Y/N, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WEDDING AND TAKE YOUR FILTHY HORRIBLE MONSTER SCUM WITH YOU!”
Your grandparents, quite a few people from both sides and even the bride stared at David in shock. Sans’ eyelights had gone out, and Papyrus looked like he was itching for David to say more. You threw the rest of the bouquet on the floor as hard as you could, dusted yourself off, and stuck both middle fingers up at David.
“Get wrecked you xenophobic prick” you called out, and pulled your dates out the door with you.
Sans teleported the three of you to a nearby empty park. After the initial shock of teleportation, the three of you spent the rest of your night chatting away while stargazing and eating a box of petite fours that Sans had nabbed. You got a message from your grandparents at one point, apparently the bride threw the ring at David’s face after y'all had left and you grinned. You watched the skeletons bickering for a moment and you felt happy, cozy and warm. Maybe this was going to be more than you bargained for, but you didn’t mind one little bit.
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