I'm Your Gun

words in the heart cannot be taken | personal blog

[xianzhong]

[adrianhollice]

I'm tired of being tired

[adrianhollice]

Hello! I hope this message finds you well! I'm afraid I just have been able to be up for once due to certain things occurring but nevertheless! I do wish you well.. -Teyla of the Rambling System.

hi teyla! good 2 hear from u. things r ok here, hope youre doing ok aswell. 

-jshep

[adrianhollice]

throwback to that time I drunk-tweeted at jack de quidt to let them know I love AuDy because I could not wait another second to tell them

[adrianhollice]

hello yes I'm tired and I love [redacted] and everyone is cordially invited to fuck off if they don't like it

[pencilbrony]

Updated

[adrianhollice]

I can’t fucking focus and everything is pissing me off. doing word wars is the only way I’m going to get anything done, but interacting with people is so frustrating right now.

[adrianhollice]

god this is because of work isn’t it. this is because I don’t have meaningful interaction with anyone for days at a time and now that I have weekend to relax a bit I don’t know how.

[adrianhollice]

I can’t fucking focus and everything is pissing me off. doing word wars is the only way I’m going to get anything done, but interacting with people is so frustrating right now.

[adrianhollice]

[sticks fingers in my ears] everyone in [podcast] is trans and latine/x and you’ll pry them from my cold dead trans chicano hands

[adrianhollice]

I’m so fucking tired of being multiply marginalized because I don’t ever get to see people like me offline

where are the other queer mixed-chicane people? where are the other autistic people struggling with cultural identity and generational assimilation? where are the visible unapologetic autistic queers? where are the people like me I just want to feel like I’m not the only queer autistic mixed-chicano out there struggling to figure out how to slot all my shit into place

[adrianhollice]

I’m trying to figure out how to say “I am uncomfortable when people repeatedly make statements about how all men suck / are cancelled / are trash because it makes me feel ashamed for being a trans man” without invalidating the experiences of the people making those statements or feeling like I’m silencing them and asking them not to complain

[adrianhollice]

something I really don’t like about being a trans man is trying to strike a balance between “the experiences of trans men are different from cis men and including trans men in your ‘all men’ statements can lead to trans men feeling shamed for ‘choosing’ to be men” and “differentiating between trans men and cis men is often insidiously transphobic and treating trans men as Men Lite isn’t good for anyone”

[adrianhollice]

I’m trying to figure out how to say “I am uncomfortable when people repeatedly make statements about how all men suck / are cancelled / are trash because it makes me feel ashamed for being a trans man” without invalidating the experiences of the people making those statements or feeling like I’m silencing them and asking them not to complain

[adrianhollice]

x

things I like about work:

- by myself - a few of the full time street/alley people say hi or like. actively make seasonals feel welcome

things I dislike about work:

- one of my supervisors is a fucking racist xenophobic islamophobic lecherous bastard and i do not feel safe one on one with him

[bebopyanks]

[scifikin]

Sci-Fi Kin Server

Discord group for kin and systems from any science fiction canon! Meet canonmates, discuss your canons, stream together, group calls and more!

sci·ence fic·tionˈ (sīəns ˈˌfikSHən/)

noun 1. fiction based on imagined future scientific or technological advances and major social or environmental changes, frequently portraying space or time travel and life on other planets.

Rules & How to Join:

must be from one or more canons that fit within the science fiction genre (we’re very lenient on what counts so dw)

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[adrianhollice]

can cis people reevaluate whether their contribution to the discussion is relevant.

when a trans person says they feel like an attractive / hot person of their gender finally due to their transition / presentation, it is not the right place to say that you feel more attractive now that you’ve lost weight

like I’m glad you feel more body confident and you feel more attractive but the original statement was about gender dysphoria / euphoria

[adrianhollice]

x

my argument is incoherent and untenable and even if I finish four pages it’s not gonna be good enough to turn in for my final paper and I want to fucking stab myself or maybe get my razors for one last night before I’m back at home and have to be twice as careful