Well, at least Jack was honest. Julian was freaking out too, so he couldn't exactly be upset with the man for admitting it, but the difference was that while Julian was freaking out that he would chase away Jack, Jack was probably freaked out that he was pushing a boundary. Having a heart-to-heart did not boyfriends make, and Julian was over skirting around the topic. It wasn't like he had a ton of options in a rural town full of backwards thinking hicks, but there was more to Jack that lead to Julian having feelings for him other than him being available. Julian just had no idea how to express said thing without sending the man away forever. Still, he knew he had to say something. With a sigh, Julian pulled the steaks onto plates to rest. " It's… weird for me too. It's not like I ever… It just sorta slipped out. It felt natural to my brain, I guess." He shrugged his free shoulder as he spoke, trying to keep the air around them light and nonchalant. "Sometimes when it's like this… When it's just us… I just don't think about it. I don't have to think about it." Julian admitted. In any other instance, he would think that was a good thing, but with Jack… "But it's good to know I can call you that, if not anything else…" Julian added, testing the waters as he plated the rest of their food.
Jack had spent so much of his life running away from himself. His father had essentially trained the young deputy to suppress his emotions. Years of conditioning weren't going to disappear overnight, especially with the cigarette burns on the back of his head as proof. Jack wanted to be a better man for Julian. He couldn't say for certain he was ready, but he knew he needed to heal from his childhood trauma and slowly open up to the man he was falling in love with. "Yer make me feel safe." His arms found his partner's waist again and held him desperately. The elder responded with a weary breath, as though a weight lifted from his shoulders. He never imagined being vulnerable with another person, and the thought alone still scared him. "I know what yer wanna call me. 'Sides, daddy." Jack wasn't stupid about what the other was suggesting. The two of them were in a relationship—boyfriends, more or less. He hadn't been with anyone else since the night he thoroughly and completely ravaged the man on his living room floor. He could've gone first, but part of Jack needed to hear his partner speak first, to settle his nerves. "I ain't gonna run off, yer know?" The deputy reassured Julian, knowing that a single word would change the course of their relationship.








