Lets Not Talk About This

As the supervisor of the ADVENT Broadcast station, I’m constantly under threat from the resistance. Fortunately I’ve coerced the trooper into creating me an account on this damned website which will give me a better way to communicate with our enemies.

[advent-supervisor]

Hey Supervisor, I was wondering, is there any limit to what limbs you can regenerate? Do soft tissues like eyeballs take longer to reform compared to arms and legs?

Oh Arsenic, I’ll answer this because you’re a friend of the trooper, but if I see this information spread around you’ll have a knock at your door.

Anyway, my regeneration yes, well under the correct circumstances I can regenerate literally anything.

That’s the reason it took me so long to answer your question, the Assassin really did a number on my limbs.

[witharsenicsauce]

Wait the trooper considers me a friend? I’m flattered! ＾▽＾ 

I’m glad they grew back! Try not to get them sliced off again.

[advent-supervisor]

Oh don’t worry about me Arsenic, it takes an extremely skilled fighter to even get close to me.

It’s simply unfortunate that the Assassin is so well trained, I could’ve won that fight you know.

[advent-supervisor]

Hey Supervisor, I was wondering, is there any limit to what limbs you can regenerate? Do soft tissues like eyeballs take longer to reform compared to arms and legs?

Oh Arsenic, I’ll answer this because you’re a friend of the trooper, but if I see this information spread around you’ll have a knock at your door.

Anyway, my regeneration yes, well under the correct circumstances I can regenerate literally anything.

That’s the reason it took me so long to answer your question, the Assassin really did a number on my limbs.

[advent-supervisor]

Day 1 of waiting for fight: Has she found you yet?

She claimed The Hunter is tracking me down, he’s clearly not doing a very good job of it.

I’ve actually left my bunker already, all I need to do now is my usual high amount of bodyguards.

[voxprimaassassin]

Wise choice, Supervisor.

Look up.

[aceofspiders]

Did you die?

[advent-supervisor]

Yes.

But I lived.

[aceofspiders]

I'm impressed.

Tell me your secrets.

[advent-supervisor]

Ok Commander, only because I know it’s something you cannot do.

Viper DNA.

[aceofspiders]

... Challenge accepted

[witharsenicsauce]

First of all, Commander no.

Secondly. I fuckin knew it!

[aceofspiders]

Hmmm... Guess no one won that bet

[advent-supervisor]

Well? Did you try it Commander?!

[aceofspiders]

Not yet, was talking about your death and also survival

I'll ask Tygan real quick

[aceofspiders]

Tygan said yes

[advent-supervisor]

Go ahead.

It’ll save us the job of killing you.

[advent-supervisor]

Day 1 of waiting for fight: Has she found you yet?

She claimed The Hunter is tracking me down, he’s clearly not doing a very good job of it.

I’ve actually left my bunker already, all I need to do now is my usual high amount of bodyguards.

[voxprimaassassin]

Wise choice, Supervisor.

Look up.

[aceofspiders]

Did you die?

[advent-supervisor]

Yes.

But I lived.

[aceofspiders]

I'm impressed.

Tell me your secrets.

[advent-supervisor]

Ok Commander, only because I know it’s something you cannot do.

Viper DNA.

[aceofspiders]

... Challenge accepted

[witharsenicsauce]

First of all, Commander no.

Secondly. I fuckin knew it!

[aceofspiders]

Hmmm... Guess no one won that bet

[advent-supervisor]

Well? Did you try it Commander?!

[advent-supervisor]

Day 1 of waiting for fight: Has she found you yet?

She claimed The Hunter is tracking me down, he’s clearly not doing a very good job of it.

I’ve actually left my bunker already, all I need to do now is my usual high amount of bodyguards.

[voxprimaassassin]

Wise choice, Supervisor.

Look up.

[aceofspiders]

Did you die?

[advent-supervisor]

Yes.

But I lived.

[aceofspiders]

I'm impressed.

Tell me your secrets.

[advent-supervisor]

Ok Commander, only because I know it’s something you cannot do.

Viper DNA.

[aceofspiders]

... Challenge accepted

[witharsenicsauce]

First of all, Commander no.

Secondly. I fuckin knew it!

[noodlegirl-draws]

I got inspired

[advent-supervisor]

Day 1 of waiting for fight: Has she found you yet?

She claimed The Hunter is tracking me down, he’s clearly not doing a very good job of it.

I’ve actually left my bunker already, all I need to do now is my usual high amount of bodyguards.

[voxprimaassassin]

Wise choice, Supervisor.

Look up.

[aceofspiders]

Did you die?

[advent-supervisor]

Yes.

But I lived.

[aceofspiders]

I'm impressed.

Tell me your secrets.

[advent-supervisor]

Ok Commander, only because I know it’s something you cannot do.

Viper DNA.

[advent-supervisor]

Day 1 of waiting for fight: Has she found you yet?

She claimed The Hunter is tracking me down, he’s clearly not doing a very good job of it.

I’ve actually left my bunker already, all I need to do now is my usual high amount of bodyguards.

[voxprimaassassin]

Wise choice, Supervisor.

Look up.

[aceofspiders]

Did you die?

[advent-supervisor]

Yes.

But I lived.

[advent-supervisor]

Day 1 of waiting for fight: Has she found you yet?

She claimed The Hunter is tracking me down, he’s clearly not doing a very good job of it.

I’ve actually left my bunker already, all I need to do now is my usual high amount of bodyguards.

[advent-supervisor]

Hey, shady ADVENT dude. Still alive?

Yes, of course... well barely.

There was an attempt on my life! So now I’m hiding out, you’ll never find out where.

[witharsenicsauce]

Why’d y’all tell Assassin her boyfriend kicked the bucket? You should have known that wouldn’t end well!

Good luck tho!

[advent-supervisor]

It was for his own safety!

And for The Assassins mental state, seeing “her trooper” in such a state would be traumatic!

[witharsenicsauce]

So you told her he was dead instead?

Fair enough though, I suppose your reasons are valid, keeping the children of the gods happy is a tough job, after all!

[advent-supervisor]

Well, at first I just wanted to say he was wounded.

But then I thought I could have some fun, so I told her he died.

[aceofspiders]

You're gonna die

RIP Mr. Shady

[advent-supervisor]

Oh please, I don’t die that easily.

[voxprimaassassin]

We shall see.

My middle brother is mostly useless, but oh, he knows how to trace locations.

[advent-supervisor]

Ok Assassin, fine!

Come and “kill” me, it’s only a matter of time before I regrow whatever I lose

[advent-supervisor]

Hey, shady ADVENT dude. Still alive?

Yes, of course... well barely.

There was an attempt on my life! So now I’m hiding out, you’ll never find out where.

[witharsenicsauce]

Why’d y’all tell Assassin her boyfriend kicked the bucket? You should have known that wouldn’t end well!

Good luck tho!

[advent-supervisor]

It was for his own safety!

And for The Assassins mental state, seeing “her trooper” in such a state would be traumatic!

[witharsenicsauce]

So you told her he was dead instead?

Fair enough though, I suppose your reasons are valid, keeping the children of the gods happy is a tough job, after all!

[advent-supervisor]

Well, at first I just wanted to say he was wounded.

But then I thought I could have some fun, so I told her he died.

[aceofspiders]

You're gonna die

RIP Mr. Shady

[advent-supervisor]

Oh please, I don’t die that easily.

[advent-supervisor]

Hey, shady ADVENT dude. Still alive?

Yes, of course... well barely.

There was an attempt on my life! So now I’m hiding out, you’ll never find out where.

[witharsenicsauce]

Why’d y’all tell Assassin her boyfriend kicked the bucket? You should have known that wouldn’t end well!

Good luck tho!

[advent-supervisor]

It was for his own safety!

And for The Assassins mental state, seeing “her trooper” in such a state would be traumatic!

[witharsenicsauce]

So you told her he was dead instead?

Fair enough though, I suppose your reasons are valid, keeping the children of the gods happy is a tough job, after all!

[advent-supervisor]

Well, at first I just wanted to say he was wounded.

But then I thought I could have some fun, so I told her he died.

[advent-supervisor]

Hey, shady ADVENT dude. Still alive?

Yes, of course... well barely.

There was an attempt on my life! So now I’m hiding out, you’ll never find out where.

[witharsenicsauce]

Why’d y’all tell Assassin her boyfriend kicked the bucket? You should have known that wouldn’t end well!

Good luck tho!

[advent-supervisor]

It was for his own safety!

And for The Assassins mental state, seeing “her trooper” in such a state would be traumatic!

[advent-supervisor]

Hey, shady ADVENT dude. Still alive?

Yes, of course... well barely.

There was an attempt on my life! So now I’m hiding out, you’ll never find out where.

[advent-trooper]

What are advent burgers made of???

Thank you for the question loyal citizen!

Now, i’d usually tell you whatever you like!

But some questions you don’t want the answer to!

Let’s just say it’s human meat! You know, meat that we all eat, from cows or something!

If you have any further enquiries we’d be happy to give you a tour of one of our factories! Just don’t tell your family or friends!

[the-skys-rim]

That sounds pretty sus but ok

[advent-trooper]

Don’t worry about it!

Just eat them, they’re nutritious!

[rafflesiasreignited]

Is the factory in question a black site of sorts by any chance? Will I be captured to fuel some kind of sick twisted cure? Just uh, questions that have no meaning...

[advent-trooper]

Factory or not citizen, trespassing in any ADVENT facility is cause to detain you!

But don’t worry, you’ll be released to your family after a short screening and background check!

[rafflesiasreignited]

That’s good to hear! One more thing, anything you can say about these rumors? Something like “avatar”

[advent-trooper]

I’m afraid I can’t comment on rumours, but I can assure you that whoever told you about all this nonsense is completely wrong!

Anyway, I’m sure if it was real it’d be out of the civilian eye, so you have nothing to threat over!

[aceofspiders]

As a soldier of XCOM...

I'm keeping my mouth shut on this one.

That mission gave me nightmares for weeks

[advent-trooper]

At least you know the secret now!

I admit I’m only going off the information given to me but I trust my superiors 100%!

[witharsenicsauce]

Your Supervisor told your girlfriend that you died in a fire, my dude.

[advent-trooper]

That’s not his fault, just his orders!

Either I’m just sympathetic or it’s the mind programming, but I can never think bad of my superiors!

[advent-supervisor]

Trooper, what have I told you about the mind programming?

I told you not to talk about it at all!

[aceofspiders]

Ha! He admitted it! Now Hitchhiker owes me the next batch of real sugar he gets his hands on!

[advent-supervisor]

Ahem, was this information not already known? Well... The Speaker is not going to be happy with me

[aceofspiders]

We're XCOM, the Skirmishers told us

[advent-supervisor]

Well “Commander”, the Trooper just unintentionally revealed it to the public.

So your “Skirmishers” were right.

[advent-trooper]

What are advent burgers made of???

Thank you for the question loyal citizen!

Now, i’d usually tell you whatever you like!

But some questions you don’t want the answer to!

Let’s just say it’s human meat! You know, meat that we all eat, from cows or something!

If you have any further enquiries we’d be happy to give you a tour of one of our factories! Just don’t tell your family or friends!

[the-skys-rim]

That sounds pretty sus but ok

[advent-trooper]

Don’t worry about it!

Just eat them, they’re nutritious!

[rafflesiasreignited]

Is the factory in question a black site of sorts by any chance? Will I be captured to fuel some kind of sick twisted cure? Just uh, questions that have no meaning...

[advent-trooper]

Factory or not citizen, trespassing in any ADVENT facility is cause to detain you!

But don’t worry, you’ll be released to your family after a short screening and background check!

[rafflesiasreignited]

That’s good to hear! One more thing, anything you can say about these rumors? Something like “avatar”

[advent-trooper]

I’m afraid I can’t comment on rumours, but I can assure you that whoever told you about all this nonsense is completely wrong!

Anyway, I’m sure if it was real it’d be out of the civilian eye, so you have nothing to threat over!

[aceofspiders]

As a soldier of XCOM...

I'm keeping my mouth shut on this one.

That mission gave me nightmares for weeks

[advent-trooper]

At least you know the secret now!

I admit I’m only going off the information given to me but I trust my superiors 100%!

[witharsenicsauce]

Your Supervisor told your girlfriend that you died in a fire, my dude.

[advent-trooper]

That’s not his fault, just his orders!

Either I’m just sympathetic or it’s the mind programming, but I can never think bad of my superiors!

[advent-supervisor]

Trooper, what have I told you about the mind programming?

I told you not to talk about it at all!

[aceofspiders]

Ha! He admitted it! Now Hitchhiker owes me the next batch of real sugar he gets his hands on!

[advent-supervisor]

Ahem, was this information not already known? Well... The Speaker is not going to be happy with me

[advent-trooper]

What are advent burgers made of???

Thank you for the question loyal citizen!

Now, i’d usually tell you whatever you like!

But some questions you don’t want the answer to!

Let’s just say it’s human meat! You know, meat that we all eat, from cows or something!

If you have any further enquiries we’d be happy to give you a tour of one of our factories! Just don’t tell your family or friends!

[the-skys-rim]

That sounds pretty sus but ok

[advent-trooper]

Don’t worry about it!

Just eat them, they’re nutritious!

[rafflesiasreignited]

Is the factory in question a black site of sorts by any chance? Will I be captured to fuel some kind of sick twisted cure? Just uh, questions that have no meaning...

[advent-trooper]

Factory or not citizen, trespassing in any ADVENT facility is cause to detain you!

But don’t worry, you’ll be released to your family after a short screening and background check!

[rafflesiasreignited]

That’s good to hear! One more thing, anything you can say about these rumors? Something like “avatar”

[advent-trooper]

I’m afraid I can’t comment on rumours, but I can assure you that whoever told you about all this nonsense is completely wrong!

Anyway, I’m sure if it was real it’d be out of the civilian eye, so you have nothing to threat over!

[aceofspiders]

As a soldier of XCOM...

I'm keeping my mouth shut on this one.

That mission gave me nightmares for weeks

[advent-trooper]

At least you know the secret now!

I admit I’m only going off the information given to me but I trust my superiors 100%!

[witharsenicsauce]

Your Supervisor told your girlfriend that you died in a fire, my dude.

[advent-trooper]

That’s not his fault, just his orders!

Either I’m just sympathetic or it’s the mind programming, but I can never think bad of my superiors!

[advent-supervisor]

Trooper, what have I told you about the mind programming?

I told you not to talk about it at all!

[advent-supervisor]

Hello my shady ADVENT dude! Now you can stalk me back or something! P.S. For the love of all that is good, get the chryssalids under control. -Mantis

Ah Mantis, I’ve heard of you. I like the nickname you’ve given, it fits nicely.

Don’t worry about us “stalking you back”, we’ve already been doing that.

Oh and about the Chryssalids, if they’re interrupting you, then they’re free to roam. As long as they’re away from our cities.

[aceofspiders]

Supervisor please, they're killing civilians!

Heck, I'm almost certain they prioritize attacking civies...

[advent-supervisor]

Oh Mantis, you have no idea how these creatures work.

We genetically edited them a lot since the invasion, well I started that trend after one attacked me in the field...

They would never exclusively attack civilians unless those civilians were a danger to ADVENT.