Sawyer's Adventures In Illness @adventuresinillness-blog - Tumblr Blog

I think the problem for me is knowing Vs feeling. Like I know I must love my friends but a lot of the times I feel like I don't, I feel like I want them all to leave me alone and to get out of my life.

Eventually I'll have to be a person without you. And that is so terrifying

I'm still alive. I'll still be alive in the morning. No matter how much I don't want to be

Is it fucked up to steal people's pills in their house or nah

Going to somebody's house. Let's see if an opportunity presents itself

I tried to cut but the knives I got can barely do surface wounds

I can't get enough pills because of dumb laws, there are no bridges around here, the train station is a 40 minute walk away and I don't want to scar a train conductor anyway, I have no knives that have the ability to cut through skin. I really don't know how to do this

I really don't know what to do to do feeling this. I think there's really no other choice but idk how

I seriously need to do something idk what

Honestly I make myself feel so sick. Nobody wants to be my friend because I'm all fucked up

When my mum discovered that I self harmed she said I was selfish because my sister was scarred from having meningitis and I was scarring myself on purpose. I think about that all the time. I think about how I love my scars and how sick that makes me. I think about how horrible I am for it all the time

bunlidoen

That feel when..

You wished everyone wanted you dead so you didn’t have to go through all the work to avoid them

woozifer

Shout out to all the “quiet” Borderlines out there.

The ones who don’t fit the stereotype of BPD and are often overlooked and misunderstood. The ones who are unable/unwilling to outwardly express their anger. The ones who feel like they’re an outsider looking in on their own lives, and the ones who keep everything bottled up inside until they just can’t anymore. You’re valid. You’re important.

humminghost

My perception of platonic relationships is beyond fucked up. I can never shake the feeling I’m using people, deceiving them into hanging out with me just because I don’t want to be alone. I’m never sure if I actually care about someone anymore.

I'm literally sitting here pretending to chill on my phone when my head is just fucking screaming

I fucking hate living in this house with them. Honestly I wish I could be with people who loved me and didn't shout at me whenever I have a bad day or tell me to kill myself

I can't have depression days and not be able to cook without people being pissed at me but she's never cooked anything in two years

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Sawyer's Adventures In Illness