The Unbelievable Adventures of Zoe Ganov

She's cool. She's got a gun. She flies a spaceship. Well, more of a spaceboat anyway. Her name is Zoe Ganov, and she is an idiot sometimes. ⋆⭒˚.⋆⭒˚.⋆⭒˚.⋆ This is my trash art project. I'm just having fun (mostly).

[adventuresofzoeganov]

hi and welcome to my trash writing project for the whole void of tumblr to see! this is a series of silly sci-fi short stories i'm writing in my free time. here's the original pinned post with more charisma that got too long.

table of contents with links below the cut:

season 1:

Stranded

Spare Parts

The Cosmos Boys - Part 1

The Cosmos Boys - Part 2

Go Back

Short #1

Crown Jewel

Every Shattered Teacup

season 2:

Lazuli | Part One - I'll Come With You | Part Two - Past the Waves | Part Three - The Universe's Idea of Irony

For Whom the Bells Ring (Christmas special)

[adventuresofzoeganov]

For Whom The Bells Ring

A Zoe Ganov Christmas Special

4,231 words

It was Christmas Adam (Zoe had convinced Martyn that it was the legit Old Earth name for December 23rd) and she still had no present for her brother.

"What do you mean you don't know what he likes?" Martyn asked her, genuine confusion on his face. He was trying to clean a fresh stain of mulled wine off his rug, but Zoe knew it was hopeless. The Rug must've been a crusty white dog in its past life, she always thought. She fantasized about sending it into the next life when Martyn wasn't looking.

"I mean I know him, but, what does he want? What does he need?"

"We keep extensive wish lists in our family for this exact purpose," said Martyn, followed by an exasperated sigh. He threw the alcohol drenched rag into the bin across the room.

"Impressive."

"Thanks. He plays guitar, doesn't he? Aren't there some, I don't know, gadgets or knick knacks related to that?"

Zoe took another sip from her mulled wine.

"Cheap crap. Besides, it's too late to go shopping or anything."

"What were you doing the past month?"

Zoe shrugged. "Procrastinating."

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"GIVE ME THAT BACK!" yelled the Horrendous Snow Yeti and threw one of its abominably large teeth at her. A flash of moonlight bounced off of the projectile. Zoe's pupils widened. She dodged it at the last moment. Her excitement at keeping her head was dimmed by her oxygen mask slowly sliding off her face. The leather strap had been cut clean through by a mere graze of the tooth. She gasped as the freezing cold air of Sleufera bit into her exposed skin.

"If you would stop throwing your fucking teeth at me, I could!" she yelled but was pretty sure the sound waves didn't reach the Horrendous Snow Yeti's wax-, dirt- and hair-filled ears. It came ever closer, the snow being no hindrance at all for its musculous legs.

"GIVE BACK MY DAUGHTER'S PET," the Yeti yelled and threw another tooth Zoe barely dodged. She took a clumsy step back and almost toppled over in the knee deep snow. Trying to evade any further attempts on her life, she rummaged through her pockets once again. Her hands closed on an oddly shaped rock she'd picked up earlier.

"This is a PET?"

The Yeti had now reached her. A wave of sweaty stench hit her nose, and then a hairy fist.

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Zoe tapped her mostly healed nose. It still had a nasty blue colour, but it didn't hurt that much anymore.

"Can you like, make something, maybe? A craft?"

"Yeah sure, I'll draw him a picture." She rolled her eyes. She'd been devastated when she grew old enough that that didn't count as a present anymore. Martyn sighed.

"I have a feeling you don't want my help."

"Nope. Just want to complain."

"Great. Chocolate?" He held out a plate filled with christmas sweets to her. They'd been snacking all afternoon, listening to cheesy christmas songs and chatting about the year. They'd started this tradition a few years back, when Zoe couldn't afford her apartment in Eglys anymore and stayed with Martyn for a while. He really was the closest thing to family she had outside of home, although she never told him.

Zoe took one of her own cookies. She'd made them yesterday, in Martyn's kitchen and with Martyn's flour and sugar and milk, but she still claimed them. They had an unfortunate grey color and resembled a rock in everything but taste. She took a big bite out of it, let out a little yelp and then twisted her face into a smile. Martyn raised a pitiful eyebrow.

"You don't have to eat them, you know?"

Zoe kept chewing on her rock-hard cookie and sucessfully swallowed her bite.

"If I don't, who will? How would you feel being spurned by your creator?"

Martyn shook his head and picked a chocolate ball from the plate, then set it back down.

"So baking is off the table too, then."

Zoe nodded and massaged her nose again, which hadn't taken too well to the violent chewing. That fucking Yeti. How should she have known that fucking rock was sentient? It just lay there, in the snow! That was bad parenting, if nothing else. You can't just let your daughter leave her pet out in the wild.

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The first thing she noticed when she woke up was the warmth. Then the hard ground she was lying on, probably rock. And then the five Yetis standing in a half-circle above her, hairy faces cast in shadows that made them look even more grim.

"YOU. YOU HAVE SHAMELESSLY KIDNAPPED MY DAUGHTER'S PET ROCK" boomed one of them. (Horrendous Snow Yetis are genetically unable to lower their voices to anything below a boom. When you get them really riled up, their voices can reach a volume comparable to a small nuclear explosion. So, don't get them riled up. Definitely don't steal their daughter's pet rock. Zoe, of course, did not know this.)

Zoe tried to shake off the grogginess that usually came with being punched out of consciousness.

"Pet rock?"

"FIFI!" cried one of the other Yetis. She held out a hand in which lay the very rock Zoe had picked up, now adorned with two googly eyes.

"FIFI!!!!" boomed the other four Yetis. A sharp note bore through Zoe's ears. She tried to cover them with her hands, but they seemed to be bound behind her back.

"I'm sorry, okay? I didn't know the rock- Fifi was sentient." She wriggled around some more, trying desperately to punch a button on her communicator.

"OH? OH?! BRINGING INSULT TO INJURY, ARE WE?" boomed the owner of the googly-eyed rock.

"NOT SENTIENT? NOT SENTIENT?!" cried the greek chorus of Yetis.

"YOU HAVE DONE A GREAT INJUSTICE TO ALL OF YETIKIND" boomed the Yeti that had chased her. Zoe finally heard a tiny beep from her communicator, so quiet that the Yetis probably hadn't heard it. Even the youngest of them already suffered slight loss of hearing.

"I'm deeply sorry!" Zoe tried to sound genuine, but the word "deeply" rarely indicated a genuine feeling of guilt. "Please don't eat me?"

"I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS WOMAN!" boomed one of the Yetis, slightly smaller than the other. "WE DO NOT EAT PEOPLE!" Zoe tried to hear if there was any static coming from her communicator.

"I'm sorry, again! I'm just really scared right now, alone on Sleufera in the Iustrall system, in some cave in the western part of the polar mountainrange! With a bunch of huge Yetis surrounding me!!"

She hoped someone, anyone was on the other side of the communicator.

"WE WILL NOT EAT YOU," boomed the Yeti who had chased her, "BUT MY DAUGHTER CAN DEMAND A PAYBACK, SO TO SAY."

Zoe tried to smile at the daughter, who looked like she would very much like to eat her. A wide grin spread on her face.

"TO MAKE UP FOR CAUSING MUCH STRESS TO FIFI AND ALL OF US, AND NEARLY RUINING OUR HOLIDAY FESTIVITIES, YOU WILL-"

The whole universe seemed to hold its breath.

"SING US AN ORIGINAL CHRISTMAS SONG!!!" The entire cave shook with the Yeti's voice, and Zoe looked up at any stalactites who maybe wanted to come down for a visit. Then the words clicked in her mind.

"What? That's it?"

"IT HAS TO BE A GOOD ONE, OF COURSE," said the smaller Yeti. "NONE OF THAT OLD W-POP BULLSHIT."

"AND IF SHE DOESN'T LIKE IT-" the Yeti who had chased her made a dramatic pause, "WE WILL EAT YOU!!"

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Zoe had briefly lost her appetite for her own cookie. Too much work.

"How did Christmas infest all of the galaxy?" she asked, desperately trying to distract herself so the perfect gift idea would just present itself to her. "Like, us back on Earth XV I understand but the whole Wheel?"

Martyn shrugged. "Probably something to do with colonialism."

"Right, but Yechtara took over ages ago, and they have nothing to do with Christianity."

"Maybe the High Priestess fucked up sewing the universe back together? And a little bit of Christmas got everywhere?"

Zoe shook her head and made the best attempt at losing another tooth on her cookie. "You can't just use the Everything as an excuse for all the weird shit going on here."

"Pretty sure I can." He took another chocolate from the plate and began unwrapping it diligently. He did so with all of his presents too, but this time it seemed too concentrated.

"Is that wrapper four-dimensional?" she asked, deadly afraid of asking a genuine question for his emotional well-being. A small smile tried its very best on Martyn's face.

"She offered me a job." He kept his eyes on the wrapper and Zoe had no chance of reading his face.

"Who?"

"The High Priestess." Zoe let out a laugh but then realized he wasn't joking. Her disbelief turned into amazement.

"Really? When? How? What job??" A tiny triangle of chocolate started to show.

"Just after that thing with Mika and the Everything. She, well, I had a dream."

"Yeah, she does that."

"Freaked me out. But she asked if I wanted to work for the monastery since, well, she said I could hack the fabric of the universe and she'd rather have me with her than against her. On like, a normal Tuesday night." Her eyes widened. The glass of wine in her hand got dangerously close to slipping out of her fingers again.

"Martyn, that's amazing! You'll be, like, the IT guy of the universe!"

Martyn kept unwrapping the tiny chocolate ball as if it was a jigsaw puzzle.

"I don't know."

She couldn't believe him. He was constantly ranting about his job at Harral's, about how stressful it was and how little he was being paid. He also should've been made a full employee three years ago, but Harral kept insisting he couldn't make him an official guild mechanic for various reasons. Zoe had had her differences with the High Priestess, but she knew Martyn would be paid well, have lots of quiet time and would finally be appreciated for the genius he actually was.

"Why not?" She watched as Martyn folded the wrapper back over the chocolate. He sniffed.

"I'm not even a full mechanic. Finding that planet, your communicator, that was all- luck. And Harral needs me."

"Harral will find someone else to work for less pay than they should, trust me. And, Martyn, you're a fucking genius. And what you don't know you can always learn, lighting speed."

Martyn sighed as if he'd told himself this exact argument over and over again. He shook his head.

"Martyn, my bestest friend in the whole wide universe, if you turn down this job because of your worryingly low self-esteem I will kidnap you and take you there myself."

He finally looked up at her with what tried its best to be a smile. She took it as a win.

"It's quieter, there's more space, more pay, more days off- it's at the other end of the Wheel, sure, but the monastery has state-of-the-art teleporters. And I think you'd get along with Inyo, too."

Martyn glanced at the rug again.

"I'll think about it," he muttered.

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Zoe had been thinking about one stupid lyric for three hours. She wasn't very good at rhyming.

She muttered under her breath, "A Christmas rock... has.. hit the block- no that's stupid." She kicked the wall of the cave which surprisingly hurt no one but herself.

"YOU WILL HAVE TO DO BETTER THAN THAT HEHEHE," cackled the smallest Yeti. The group had left him to guard her while they prepared something involving a three meter long cross and lots of tinsel.

"At least give me an instrument or something!" Making music had always been so easy when surrounded by a bunch of musicians. It was much harder in a freezing cave, with very little musical talent and no guitar to play a lazy four chords in sight.

"ALRIGHT," the Yeti said, stood up and walked to the back of the cave. Zoe was amazed that he'd finally given in, until two sticks fell at her feet with a wooden clatter. The Yeti's whole body shook with ear-numbing laughter. Zoe shuffled around and managed to grab them with her tied hands, but hitting them on the ground made basically no sound. Maybe she, too, had started to lose her sense of hearing.

The Yetis had lit a tiny fire so that she wouldn't freeze to death, but it wasn't enough to stop her shivering. She lay her head down on her knees.

"A Christmas rock is... quite a shock," she whispered and cursed. "How does Florian do it?" Her whole ability to bullshit her way out of any situation seemed to have been blown away by the cold wind of Sleufera. She felt like that one time when she was thirteen and on skiing vacation with her brother and grandparents. She'd taken on a slope too steep and littered with bumps, and she'd fallen for the sixth time. She wasn't even half the way down. Teenage Zoe had finally just sat in the snow and waited for Nick to come save her. Something he was naturally able to do, as a sixteen year old boy.

Zoe wished she'd just stayed in the city, bought some stupid three credit Christmas present at a market and then turned around and left this godforsaken planet. But no, she had to go out into the woods to "forage" a "unique present" for her brother, as she'd put it when Martyn's silence sounded doubtful through the communicator. It wasn't that she was genereally uncreative- but for some reason her creativity was always wafted away when Christmas approached. Her record for getting an appropriate present had been three days 'til Christmas Eve. She would not like to break it anytime soon.

"... I bet he'd- make an awesome pet," she whispered and heard the Yeti wheeze again. She was absolutely going to be eaten.

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The snow she was now standing in was infinitely colder than in the northern Earth XV mountains when she was thirteen, and no one was coming to save her. The Yetis had bound her to a wooden pole and then gathered around a huge cross covered in holly and tinsel. Why, oh why was tinsel one of the Christmas decorations that had made its way to Sleufera?

The Yetis - now over a dozen - were all holding hands, except for three of them, which were holding an axe, a butcher's knife and a portable grill respectively. Zoe tried grinning, which was hard to do with her whole body shaking of the cold.

The owner of the rock now stepped forward. "SING US YOUR SONG, FORSAKEN ONE!" she boomed with a nasty smile.

The other Yetis howled. "SING US A SONG! SING US A SONG!"

Zoe cleared her throat. She tried to remember everything she'd learnt in her short time as a boy band member.

"A Christmas rock is quite a shock," she sang shakily, to a tune she hadn't quite figured out yet.

"I bet he'd make an awesome pet,

My Christmas stone is all alone

I'll take him to the vet." Her voice faltered. A brief wind-howling silence followed.

"IS THAT IT?" shrieked the daughter Yeti.

"WELL. IT IS ORIGINAL," boomed the smaller Yeti who'd complained about W-Pop. Maybe that was it? Maybe Zoe had written the indie Christmas song of the year?

"THAT'S JUST ANOTHER WORD FOR SHIT!" shouted the daughter Yeti. The anger on her face quickly turned into a nasty grin again.

"SHUKU! TIKIMUR! GET HER ASS!!" The two Yetis with the axe and the knife trudged toward her. Cool light glinted off of the blades, and Zoe tried desperately to escape from the tightly bound rope. It didn't move an inch.

"Please, this is not what Christmas is about!" she begged with the Yetis.

"AS FAR AS WE'RE CONCERNED, CHRISTMAS IS ABOUT SINGING AND EATING WELL," said the axe Yeti.

"YOU FAILED THE FIRST - YOU CAN HELP WITH THE SECOND," said the knife Yeti. They had now come close enough that Zoe could see the wild glint in their beetle black eyes. The axe Yeti lifted the axe high above his head. He opened his mouth, full of sharp detachable teeth, and let out a growl.

"PREPARE TO DIE!" he boomed, and Zoe flinched and screwed her eyes shut. In her last moment, she didn't know what to do, or to say, or to think, even. She always thought she'd go out cooler than this.

But the blade did not come down. A good ten seconds passed, and there was only the howling of the wind. And, somehow, in the far, far distance-

"WHAT IS THAT?" boomed the daughter Yeti.

"I BELIEVE IT IS BELLS, MILADY!" boomed a Yeti from the crowd. "SLEIGH BELLS, TO BE PRECISE."

Zoe glanced up at her executioner. Rage had twisted his face into a grimace.

"MAY I KILL HER NOW?" he screamed.

"HOLD!" boomed the daughter Yeti. The sound grew louder and louder. Was that... Were those eighties drums that Zoe could hear? She tried narrowing her eyes and scanned the landscape for the source of the sound. Some shouts of "THERE!" "SEE?" "OVER THERE!" arose from the group of Yetis, whose eyes were much better adjusted to the endless snowstorms of northern Sleufera. The circle they'd formed quickly dissolved, and they all went into defensive stances. One of them held the portable grill like a weapon. Zoe's executioners, too, turned towards the shape.

It slowly emerged out of the grey nothingness, and deep relief washed over Zoe. The shape was indeed a glittering sleigh, one of those overpriced touristy ones that you could take for a tour into "The Wilderness" (A small patch of curated park just outside the capital. You could pay extra for Yeti scare actors to surprise you). In it sat four figures, two of them wrapped up in thick winter clothing. The other two (a 1,30 m tall insecdroid and a sentient nebula, currently sporting a cool teal) didn't need it. The galaxy's favourite boy-band to be was blasting the cheesiest, Cessia 4 1980s style Christmas song Zoe had ever heard. And she had heard real Cessia 4 eighties.

"The snow is falling, and Zoe's calling us again-" one of the wrapped up figures sang into a mic inside their face mask. Zoe recognized Florian's voice immedietaly. A small synth melody followed by Xevric.

"We're gonna help her out of a sticky situation... again." Now the other figure stood up, and Kriz joined the verse.

"She said, 'I'm in a cave, don't let this be my grave! The Yeti's picking up some tongs- write a Christmas song!"

The instrumental played a few beats, and all four of them started dancing in the sleigh. The beat stopped, and then they all harmonized for the chorus. The Yetis grunted with confusion.

"Please don't eat our friend for Christmas! We're gonna need our friend for Christmas!" Kriz now climbed out of the sleigh and dramatically reached out a hand to the Yeti with the grill.

"She's not perfect, but she doesn't mean to disrespect! We're very sorry that she picked up your peeet-" He now found his way to the daughter Yeti. The whole crowd was like frozen in place, watching the Cosmos Boys, speechless.

"Don't let this Christmas be her end, please don't eat our friend!"

The song continued for another verse, a second chorus (containing the lyrics "and we know she can be a bother- but she really needs a present for her brother" which got some oohs and aahs from the Yetis), a short two-line bridge and a final chorus after an obligatory key change. The four guys* had even practiced a bit of choreography, and by the end of the song they were all dancing in front of the sleigh. The instrumental faded out, and the wind-howling silence of Sleufera returned. Zoe had been so transfixed by the band's performance, she'd barely looked at the Yetis reactions. They still seemed to be frozen in place.

Then, a clap. Painfully slowly, another one. The tallest of the Yetis, the one that had chased Zoe just a couple of hours ago, was slow clapping with a grave expression on his face. Hesitantly, another Yeti joined him. Then a third, then a fourth, and soon, the entire crowd of Yetis was applauding and wooing and booming their Yeti hearts out. Only the daughter Yeti was still frozen in place, her face twisted into an unreadable expression.

Kriz now dared to approach her. He took off his hood, still wearing a mask underneath. He bowed his head.

"Please, great- uh-"

"Hiddethom, Heiress to Vekkurs of the Western Peaks," whispered Florian. Zoe could hear it from twenty meters away, but that didn't mean the Yetis could.

"Yeah, uh, what he said-" continued Kriz. "Great Hiddleston, we come to apologize for our friend Zoe Ganov's behavior and offer this original Christmas song, by us, the Cosmos Boys. Will you let her walk free, in your bountiful mercy?"

The daughter Yeti, now that Zoe knew she was one of the Sleufera Yeti royal family, did have something regal about her. Maybe she was allowed to keep her pet rock because no one was ever allowed to say no to her. Not even her own father? Zoe stopped poking holes in the narrative and focused on Hiddethom's reaction.

"THAT-" she boomed. Then she cleared her throat. Her eyebrows were bungee-jumping on her forehead. It seemed like she couldn't believe what she was about to say.

"THAT WAS THE BEST CHRISTMAS SONG I HAVE EVER HEARD!!!"

There was a small metallic whirring and Zoe thought she caught a "Really?" from Xevric.

"So Zoe can go now?" asked Kriz. Hiddethom's head whipped around to him, then to Zoe.

"SHE DID NOT SING IT HERSELF, DID SHE? ROAST HUMAN IS BACK ON!!"

"Roasting my frozen limbs is going to take looong," shouted Zoe, but all she thought was shitshitshitshitshitshit.

"Please, you cannot eat her! Whatever she does, she never really means it!" said Florian. Bit of unfortunate wording, but we'll adress the sting in my stomach later, thought Zoe.

"NO. HER DISRESPECT IS OBVIOUS! SHE CAN SHOW NEITHER REMORSE NOR TALENT. YOU AND YOUR LITTLE BAND, HOWEVER- YOU CAN STAY. YOU SHALL SING FOR US."

"But Zoe's part of the Cosmos Boys! You can't kill her!"

"REALLY? WHAT DOES SHE EVEN DO, THEN?"

"Uhh dancce a bit? Ssssing sssometimesss?" said Xevric, unhelpfully.

"Zoe is an essential member of the Cosmos Boys, no matter her abilities!" shouted Kriz. "And without her, we will never perform again!"

Hiddethom grunted. Boos and aaws arose from the greek chorus of Yetis behind her, as the frown on her face deepend. Then she fixed her ice cold stare on Zoe.

"IF I LET YOU GO, WILL YOU PROMISE NEVER TO PICK UP ANY ROCKS ON SLEUFERA EVER AGAIN?"

Zoe nodded. Hiddethom looked back at Florian.

"WELL, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW IF SHE MEANS IT?"

"She usually does, just believe her," he mumbled. Hiddethom's head snapped back to Zoe.

"UGH. FINE, WHATEVER. BUT YOU WILL BE PERFORMING AT THE ROYAL COURT DURING THE HOLYIDAYS, IS THAT CLEAR?" All members of the Cosmos Boys currently not tied to a wooden pole freezing to death nodded. "GOOD. TIKIMUR, UNTIE HER!" The Yeti with the butcher's knife cut the ropes around her. Zoe tried to take a step forward and toppled over in the snow. Florian rushed over to her and helped her up.

"What happened to your gas mask?" he asked as he undid the straps on his own and put it on her face instead.

"Teeth," was all Zoe could answer.

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"So it's between this Yeti tooth fragment still stuck in my jacket, or an original Christmas song by my band."

"Uh, a song sounds nice?" said Martyn, sounding very confident. "Do you want to show it to me?"

"Sure, sure," said Zoe and went to grab his guitar from his bedroom (she'd claimed it over a year ago).

"I don't have a recording of this or anything, so I'm doing it all from memory," she said. "And I'm also freestyling the chords. Bear with me."

"If it's a Cosmos Boys original it can't be that complicated."

"Shut up."

She began strumming a good old four chord progression and made the lyrics she remembered fit. To be fair, she was on the brink of passing out when she'd heard the song. Considering that, she did pretty well. Martyn clapped politely.

"I think you can perform this as a gift for the whole family. Very enjoyable."

"You think so?" Martyn shrugged.

"I can't lie, it slapped a bit." Zoe grinned and put the guitar away, just to pick up another failure cookie. Christmas Eve could come. The stress finally loosened its grip on her heart. Who knew that the key to a perfectly average Christmas present was just a whacky adventure and a million bad ideas four days before the holiday?

"What was all that stuff about Yetis eating you, though?" asked Martyn. Zoe shook her head and took another sip of mulled wine.

"Don't even worry about it, man."

The End.

[adventuresofzoeganov]

is that... the sound of... bells jingeling? in space??

[adventuresofzoeganov]

chat how do we feel about in character zoe ganov blogging. yes i know it's called roleplay but i will be doing it alone as always

edit: anyway here's @tonnerfm (zoe) and @dumpsterkrekilkey (martyn)

[adventuresofzoeganov]

i am fleshing out another story bit by bit, but unfortunately i have so little time to write and use that time mainly for crashing out about writing (or writing other things) that this may take me another year. anyway stay tuned for the devil in the kelp

[adventuresofzoeganov]

Lazuli

Part Three - The Universe's Idea of Irony

3,407 words

Zoe couldn’t hold back her tears until she reached the dorm area – thankfully, the corridors were strangely deserted. Stifled sobs made it harder to walk, and she pressed a hand over her mouth, for all the good it did. Where the glass panelled tunnel from the outer ring ended at the main building, she had to stop and lean against its curved mouth, pressing her eyes shut and taking a deep, shaky breath. Keep it together. Just a couple of floors left. 

She staggered through the corridors, green, yellow, beige, blue, until she finally reached Nick’s dorm. But something in her refused to enter his rooms, whether it was fear or shame or attention seeking – she really couldn’t care less at the moment.

The sofa niche was only a couple of meters behind Nick’s dorm, and she slid down the wall next to one, onto the rough carpet. This was where she buried her head in her hands and started sobbing. She pulled her knees up to her face, made herself as small as she could. If there was one thing she could do well, it was crying quietly. Sobs tore through her chest without her making so much as a soft whimper, she had to gasp for air in between because of all the sound she was holding in. 

Four years had passed, four years during which Nick had gotten his bachelor’s degree and started his master’s. And what did she have to show for it? A tacky ship, a band she didn’t belong with and one or two friends scattered across the galaxy.

She remembered the day she’d come home from her last failed test, after her parents had finished yelling at her. She’d gone out into the fields and watched the sun set, dipping the trees and grasses in golden light. That deep orange bleeding into red – she’d wished she could have melted into it, curling around the sun, becoming one with the horizon.

The muscles in her stomach ached with every sob. She slung her arms around her knees, pressing her forehead into her thighs, to soften the twitching a bit. Footsteps passed by in a distant corridor. She hadn’t felt this out of place, this desperate in a very long time. All of these students, with their degrees and exams and long-term life plans. Ellis with their genuine passion for acting… When parents or uncles or teachers had asked what her passion or dream job was, she’d always been uncertain. Don’t worry, you’ll figure it out, had always been the response. Well, here she was, who knows how many years later, and she still hadn’t. A lifetime of questions and looks from relatives, of job agency tests, and of epic chosen one hero stories had driven home the idea that a life without a single grand purpose was, in fact, worthless. Zoe felt like a speck of dust floating through space, brushed off of the lapels of Real People, with Real Jobs and Real Lives. 

Eventually, her sobs died down to occasional sniffling. Her head was empty. 

She heard footsteps again, in front of her. Around the curve, she saw Nick’s silhouette bend down to the screen for the ID card, and the door opened with a beep. She held her breath, despite everything inside her screaming for him to notice her, to come over and kneel next to her and ask her what’s wrong. Nick looked up and down the corridor, but didn’t see Zoe hunched in the shadows next to a sofa. With a shrug, he disappeared into his dorm, the door sliding shut behind him. Zoe breathed out, and was relieved and disappointed at the same time. Hypocrite, she thought. She winced under another sob. Somewhere in her mind, she was starting to get annoyed at herself, but that thought was quickly drowned out as she started crying again. 

Zoe stayed like this for a while, crying into her hands, scratching at her scalp, and then looking out into space with swollen eyes and hiccup-like breaths. When she finally thought she’d calmed down for good, she stood up as gracefully as she could. Her eyes were sore, her muscles were sore, her back was hurting. There was nothing graceful about that, she had to admit.

She stumbled over to Nick’s dorm, fumbling for his ID card. He must’ve gotten one from Mnymo. The door slid open with a beep that should’ve announced her presence to Nick, if he wasn’t asleep already. All the blinds were closed, and she nearly tripped and fell over multiple boxes and drawers, before she got to her bed. She ran her hand over the blanket to find her pajamas, but to no avail. 

“Fuck,” she whispered, and felt her eyes burning again. She ruffled through the sheets, but just couldn’t find her pajamas. “Fuck, where did I put them? Where the fuck are you?” There was a ruffling sound from the other side of the room.

“Zoe? Is that you?” whispered Nick. “Are you okay?” Zoe gripped her blanket, she already felt her tears well up again.

“I just want to go to sleep,” she said, barely suppressing another sob. There was more ruffling of sheets.

“Here, take my torch,” said Nick. His voice was a thousand times softer. Zoe walked over to him and took the torch out of his hand. She was glad it was dark, so he couldn’t see her face.

“Do you need anything else? A blanket? Food?” Only now Zoe realized she hadn’t eaten in hours, but she just shook her head. “Okay. Keep the torch, you can give it back to me in the morning.”

“Thank you,” she whispered and stumbled back to her bed again. She turned on the torch and found her pajamas lying just by the pillow. Otherwise, she would’ve been frustrated by herself, but now she really just wanted to get to bed and be done with it. Somehow, putting on her pajamas was a standard she couldn’t let go, her last source of comfort. She went to the bathroom to change and immediately felt better, like that sobbing mess by the sofa was just a bit further in the past. She wrapped herself in her blanket and curled up, facing the wall. Zoe had the kind of sleep you only get after feeling like you’ve hit rock bottom. The best kind of sleep.

༄༄༄

She woke up the next day, a warm light shining through the half closed blinds. Zoe checked her watch lying on the bedside table, and jumped at her own reflection. Her eyelids were swollen as if she’d had a severe allergic reaction, or thirty blood-thirtsty mosquitoes had come to bite her in the night. She had to admit, it was a bit funny. She got dressed and joined Nick in the kitchen, where she’d heard him making coffee. When he turned to her he raised his eyebrows.

“Dude, you look… good.” Zoe snorted and rubbed her hands over her face.

“Thanks, man.” Nick studied her face for a second more, then held up the french press. “Coffee?” 

“Please.”

They sat at the kitchen table and drank their coffee, talking about nothing in particular. Nick must have noticed something had been wrong, but thankfully decided not to push it right after she’d woken up.

“Where’s Mnymo?” asked Zoe. She hadn’t heard anything from him in the dorm.

“Disappeared with some girl yesterday,” said Nick. “Gave me his ID beforehand, though, he was thoughtful enough for that. He’ll be fine.” Zoe nodded and took another sip from her coffee. 

“What do you think of Ellis? Seems like you talked for some time yesterday.” Zoe smiled weakly.

“They’re nice. I mean, like, kind. I like them.” Nick nodded, and Zoe thought he seemed relieved.

“Good. I’m glad.” He finished his coffee. “I thought we could eat lunch at the top canteen today.” Zoe nodded. “It’s a bit nicer than the Bottom, you’ll see.”

༄༄༄

The way up to the very top was quite a long one. They met a few acquaintances and friends of Nick’s in the elevators, but mostly, it was just them. Sometimes they’d make fun of the tinny announcement of the floors, sometimes they just exchanged increasingly weird glances until one of them laughed (which was usually Zoe). Even their silences weren’t awkward anymore. 

After what felt like a good half hour, the doors slid open and led out to a thin metal gangway. The top canteen was constructed very similarly to the bottom one, with the buffet in the middle of the giant glass egg and gangways leading to the tables hanging in mid-air. The view, however, couldn’t have been more different. Above and around them unfolded the space beyond the Yechtaran planet – their celestial neighbors Sezean and Udyria, a blue gas giant and a smaller red planet with asteroid rings. The star-speckled sky beyond them awakened a deep-rooted wanderlust within Zoe, and she immediately felt more at home. 

They went to get their food, Zoe picking a piece of lasagna this time, and went to sit at a table closest to the glass. The noise of dozens of students died down a bit here, and Zoe was grateful. They ate quietly for a bit, until Nick started speaking again.

“So, what was wrong yesterday? Do you want to talk about it?” Zoe took a deep breath. After last night, she’d felt pretty light – a weird sensation, where everything she did short of lying in bed and not getting up was something she was proud of. But she knew she’d have to think about her issues eventually. God forbid, even talk about them. She set down her fork.

“I… have absolutely no idea what I’m doing with my life.” Nick nodded.

“Fair enough,” he said. Zoe sighed, which was supposed to be a laugh but just sounded tired.

“Well, I also have no idea what you’re doing with your life,” said Nick, “because you never tell us.” It was more a question than an accusation. Zoe nodded.

“Fair enough.” 

“I mean, a gun? For retail? And I don’t think you got that ancient ship from a PilOrg yard sale.” Zoe snorted again.

“Pretty good lie, isn’t it?” Nick raised one eyebrow and laid his head to the side. 

“Alright, yeah, dogshit lie. But I do work in retail from time to time. Oh, and I drive for BlackBird.” Nick straightened back up. The remote driver taxi company had been the heart of controversy ever since it launched its first vehicles in a few select places. Now, you couldn’t go to any major city in the entire galaxy without running into one of their clunky ships.

“Oh?”

“Yup. Got the kit and everything.”

“Don’t they, like, exploit their workers?” Zoe nodded.

“There’s never free space in their simulation rooms, so everyone else has to buy these kits. Not cheap, I tell you. I also get paid way less for basically the same work a PilOrg taxi driver would do.” Nick frowned.

“That doesn’t seem legal.”

“I don’t know, there’s something of a loophole. It’s not technically illegal. And you don’t need a PilOrg license.” She sighed and took another bite out of her lasagna. “I hate that job, the headset is really disorienting, you rely on the passengers’ tip, but hey, it’s an option if I don’t get any other job.” Nick nodded slowly.

“I guess.” There was a silence filled with chewing.

“Where do you live, then? Is it still that tiny apartment on Unia 27? I suspect you need the money to pay the bills.”

“And to travel, yes. I actually live in the Tonner now. I mean, I sleep there. Sometimes I can crash at Martyn’s place.” Nick raised his eyebrows and pointed at her, as if he was finally on track again.

“Your PilOrg friend-” Zoe smiled sadly, and Nick quickly understood. “Not a PilOrg friend, then.”

“Nope.” She sighed. How could she get into this? “Well, you see, when I was still renting that place in Unia, there were some… issues with the landlord. The bills got more expensive, we had to pay for a mold removal that wasn’t our fault. I needed money.”

“Yeah,” said Nick, when she fell silent. She poked her fork into the lasagna.

“Well, there was this guy organizing a race every couple of weeks, and the winner would get pretty good prize money.”

“Oh, Zoe, that doesn’t sound legal at all.” Zoe nodded.

“It wasn’t. But I was able to pay the bills again. And nothing too drastic ever happened, well… but that’s a whole other thing. Anyway, Martyn worked for a different ship repair garage, a lot of participants went there. We got along quite well. He helped me get a job at a local supermarket, he told me about the BlackBird application process, he even gave me that gun when the races got nastier. Never really used it. I stopped racing after a while. It just made me paranoid, you know? There was this guy, Mick Spindle… but that’s another story. Anyway, I moved out of that apartment when Martyn gave me the Tonner on discount. He’d gotten it at an auction, but, well. That’s another story too.”

Nick just stared at her for a second, his mouth open.

“Seems like you’ve got a ton of ‘other stories’.” Zoe laughed, all the rambling making her feel lighter by the minute. Nick’s mouth twisted into an incredulous smile. 

“Any other crazy friends you’d like to tell me about?” Zoe shrugged.

“Well, there’s Inyo. We had a bit of a thing, but, well, that didn’t work out. I met her at a monastery after someone had teleported me across the universe.”

“You were in a monastery?!”

“For a couple of months, yeah. Before they kicked me out. I think the High Priestess is annoyed at me for breaking the vow of silence ‘on multiple occasions’. Oh, and I stole her universe stone.” A baffled look seemed to have settled in quite comfortably on Nick’s face.

“Universe stone?”

Zoe explained what she’d been up to on planets outside the universe, time traveling on scrap yards and inside active volcanoes. Nick slowly nodded while his eyes grew wider and wider.

“Oh, and I’m in a boy band,” added Zoe, almost giddy with excitement now. Nick buried his face in his hands.

“Of course you are.”

“You don’t believe me?”

“Should I?”

“Where else would I get this horrendous belt?” 

Nick chuckled softly. He looked up at her, and a giant grin covered his face.

“Zoe, I think you have the weirdest, wildest, most interesting life out of anyone I’ve ever met. By far.” Zoe chuckled, and took a deep breath. 

“I get by.” She shrugged. “But, really, I have no idea where I’m going.” Nick shook his head and breathed out.

“You’re twenty-two. You don’t need to have your life figured out. If we’re being honest, when I was twenty-two I absolutely despised uni. I thought of dropping out.” Zoe raised her eyebrows. She hadn’t known that about Nick. But it didn’t change much.

“You committed, though. You didn’t drop out after a few failed tests.”

“Well, maybe, but look at Astin. He’s spent the past five years in law school and I bet you’re having more fun than him right now.” Zoe shook her head. Their uncle’s family had always been richer, weirder and absent from their birthday parties. That comparison meant nothing.

“But he’ll have a well-paying job in a couple of years,” she said, instead. 

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but you seem to be getting by just fine right now.”

“Yeah, I get by. Not more than that, though.”

“Do you want more than that?” Zoe studied her now cold piece of lasagna.

“I feel like I should.” Nick leaned back in his chair and studied her face, then gazed out through the glass.

“If it’s important to you,” he finally said, “you can always go back into PilOrg training. You’ve probably had enough experience to ace all the tests.” Zoe sighed and nodded, and Nick looked back at her. His expression was unbearably soft.

“But you shouldn’t feel pressured to study or get a bigger job or settle down just for the sake of it. If you’re happy with the way you’re living now. You don’t need a grand purpose for life. You can just… exist.” She let out a breath, and it felt like a boulder had rolled off her heart. That was maybe the first time she’d heard anything similar. Of course she’d tried to convince herself her way of living was just fine, but hearing it from her cool, chill older brother with his life together was something different. She couldn’t think of a decent answer, but a smile seemed to be enough. 

“I’m glad I came to visit,” she said, the closest she could physically come to saying ‘I miss you.’

“Me too,” said Nick with a broad smile.

“Well, guess my lasagna is cold now,” she said, breathing out.

“Don’t worry, I can help you,” said Nick excitedly. She held up one finger.

“One fork.”

“One fork, okay.” He lodged his fork under the remaining piece and, with hands shaking from giggling, lifted up the entire thing. Zoe had to laugh.

“Hey!” She pushed the lasagna down onto her plate again. Nick threw up his hands.

“There goes my career as a forklift.” Zoe could only laugh harder.

“Well, if you’re not going to eat it…” Zoe picked up her fork and stuck out her tongue at him. She ate the rest and said, “So. Done.”

“Finally,” said Nick with a big sarcastic eye roll. He then frowned as he rummaged through his pant pockets, until he finally pulled out a long rectangular box.

“How did that fit into your pockets?” Nick shrugged.

“Bigger on the inside.” He slid open the lid of the box and revealed a dozen small wooden sticks, painted with different colors. “Up for a game of Mikado?”

“Oh, absolutely!”

She gathered the sticks into a bunch, twisted them and let them fall onto the table. Another legendary round of high-stakes Mikado began. The siblings Ganov knew no remorse when it came to this game. Blowing onto the sticks, distracting with stupid jokes, and ‘accidentally’ nudging the table were all more or less fair game. Who knew picking up a couple of sticks could be this exciting.

Nick was as competitive as ever, but at the end of the day, Zoe’s steady hands and razor sharp vision carried off the victory. There was a moment there (and when she thought about it later, a million more), when she’d just pulled another stick from the pile, in glee over her victory, while Nick crossed his arms and called her an overachiever. It seemed simple, but it finally made her feel that this was the idiot she’d grown up with, tears and fighting and uncontrollable laughter and all. Despite all the years that had passed, despite them having grown into very different people, he would always feel like home to her. 

༄༄༄

It was early noon and they were on the way to some old city Zoe had forgotten the name of. In the front seats of their hovership sat their parents, already annoyed at Nick and Zoe. They’d argued on the way there, because Zoe had taken a longer time to get ready. Nick sat a seat away from her, and she had her arms crossed. She was more resentful than she’d liked to admit, but she would just have to deal with Nick – as Nick would have to deal with her. That was how it would always be.

Nick had gotten hold of the aux connection again and played what Zoe thought was the most ridiculous song she’d ever heard. A meandering electric piano scale (a series of barely melodic beeps, more like) flowed out of their speakers, which were joined by atmospheric voices. Zoe thought they were laughing in slow motion. She shook her head dismissively and stared out the window, to the mountain range in the distance. The endless blue sky arched above it. She didn’t know that ancient poets didn’t have a word for the color of the all-encompassing sea and sky, and she also didn’t know she would like this song a lot one day. 

Lazuli seemed to be the universe’s idea of irony.

[adventuresofzoeganov]

Lazuli

Part Two - Past the Waves

4,457 words

Zoe took some time in the morning to get ready. The sinks had some complicated motion recognizing mechanism she only figured out on the third try, the kettle boiled only after she’d read the manual, and the toaster simply refused to work with her. She settled for a breakfast of fennel tea and a slightly bruised banana hopefully no one would miss. It seemed like everything had been constructed with a child safety mechanism she couldn’t get past. 

There was still some time left until the lecture – Nick had promised to pick her up from the dorm – so she decided to call Martyn.

A metallic screech came out of her communicator after he’d picked up.

“The fuck are you doing, Martyn?” She wasn’t confident he’d heard her, but then the screeching stopped.

“Oh, just some welding.” Zoe opened her mouth in confusion.

“And you pick up my call?”

“Look, when you call me it’s either because you’re bored and annoyed at interplanetary traffic, or you’re in mortal danger. I didn’t want to take my chances.”

“Huh. Guess you’re right.”

“So, are you?” A smile tugged at her lips.

“In mortal danger? No.”

“Right. You’re at your brother’s, aren’t you?”

“Yup. His university.”

“How is it?” Zoe rubbed the handle of her mug. He seemed out of breath.

“Don’t you have welding to get back to?” “Yes, but you called me for a reason. How is it?”

“Nice. I don’t know. Very big.”

“Enlightening.”

“That, too.”

There was a silence crackling with static.

“I… just don’t know… Like, do we even get along anymore?” A clanking came from the other end, like Martyn had just dropped something.

“Look, Zoe. I don’t think it’s something you can unlearn. It’s like riding a bike. My older sister went to a boarding school for two years, and we’d barely see her for months, but when she got back for the summer holidays, everything was just the same.”

“But we’re older now. I don’t know him, not really. And he doesn’t know me.”

“Then get to know him. Again.”

Zoe sighed. It was 11.30 now.

“I’ve got a lecture in a bit.”

“Are you finally getting that oh so prestigious secondary education?”

“Nope. Just listening in.”

“Good. Okay. I’ll get back to my welding.”

“Do that.”

“Bye, Zoe. Don’t worry too much. You’ll be fine.”

“Bye, Martyn.” The metallic screeching picked up again and she quickly turned her communicator off. Was she being too dramatic? Nick seemed to be cool about all of it. Of course, Nick had always been cool about everything. She rubbed her palms over her face and watched the shapes dance behind her eyelids.

༄༄༄

Nick came and picked her up just a couple of minutes later.

“The lecture hall is about ten minutes from here,” he said. “It’s a nightmare, I know.”

They spent some time in the elevators. Nick seemed to bump into friends and acquaintances everywhere, and by the end of it Zoe had perfected an awkward wave with a smile.

“How did you sleep? Did you find everything?” Nick asked as they got out of the elevator.

“Kind of,” she said. “You’ve got a weird kettle.” 

“Oh, god, yeah. Mnymo got it from his mother. He swears by it, but, frankly, I’ve only ever managed to make one cup of tea.” Zoe let out a laugh.

“Well, now I feel less incompetent.”

“Yeah, it kinda reminds me of the one mom used to have, you know, the spotted double thingy?”

“The one she never used?”

“Exactly.”

“Yeah, I remember. It sat on the dinner table for ages.” 

“Maybe it’s a universal mother thing.” Zoe giggled.

“And a Mnymo thing,” she said. Nick chuckled and nodded.

“Yes. Mothers and also Mnymo.” 

They finally arrived at the lecture hall, ten minutes before the start. The hall was bigger and more full than she’d expected. Row upon row of wooden chairs climbed up the hall, away from the podium and screen at the front. Big windows covered the far side of the hall, opening the view to Yechtara and the surrounding space. A constant noise of people talking, clothes rustling and fingers typing on keyboards filled the hall.

She followed Nick into one of the rows roughly in the middle.

“Sure that I can be here?” she asked as they sat down. The hall seemed to fill up quite well, and she didn’t want to take anyone’s seat. Nick waved his hand as if batting at an insect.

“Oh, yeah. They don’t check your ID or anything.”

“Right.”

Zoe waited, bouncing her leg, while Nick chatted with the people sitting in front of them. It had been a while since she’d been at school, and the theory lessons for her training had taken place in a room five times smaller than this one. She’d never been particularly good in school, either. It all made her a bit nervous.

Finally, a bit late, the lecturer came in on a floating wheelchair. As far as Zoe could see from her seat, he had shaggy gray hair, wore glasses with numerous lenses, and baggy brownish clothes that looked as if they’d been stuffed in a dusty cupboard for about fifty years.

He coughed into the mic by the podium, and electronic feedback screeched through the loudspeakers. Zoe covered her ears and looked at Nick, who was grimacing.

“Always a surprise, that one,” said the lecturer and giggled, a weirdly childish sound from someone who looked like a thirty year old newspaper. He fumbled with the mic and seemed to flip some switches beneath the podium, which sent loud clicks through the hall.

“Aleksey does this from time to time,” whispered Nick to her. “I think it’s to keep us on our toes.” She snorted.

“How dare you feel safe in a lecture hall.”

“Right? Unthinkable.”

A few dull taps now resounded through the hall, and a broad smile appeared on Aleksey’s face.

“Good. That’s fixed for now.” He cleared his throat. “Welcome to another session of our lecture, Materials and Structures in a Naturally Occuring Vacuum.” He pressed another button and the screen behind him flashed to life, showing the title of the lecture written in purple on a lime green background. Zoe laid a hand over her mouth in pretend shock. She turned her wide eyes to Nick.

“Unparalleled,” he whispered with a grin.

“Right, now,” said Aleksey, and switched to a slide with a badly photoshopped picture of… Zoe couldn’t for the life of her make it out.

“Imagine you are a rod of galvanized square steel, drifting lonely through space. Up ahead is a nebula, and you are in the path of a Red Giant who is about to crash into you. You have some control over your movement. What is your best bet for staying in the exact same condition you’re in right now?”

The rest of the lecture continued in about the same fashion. Aleksey proposed insane, a bit ridiculous scenarios, a couple of eager students helped him speculate, and by the end he’d always make it make sense somehow. Of course, Zoe was entirely out of her depth with this topic, although she recognized some technical terms from conversations with Martyn. She thought that she’d at least gotten a hint of what Aleksey was trying to teach them, and that made her very proud.

Nick was more or less focused on the lecture, but it didn’t stop him from participating in the usual sibling shenanigans Zoe started. She poked him in the arm without taking her eyes from the presentation, and when she saw Nick turn his head to her, she just looked at him innocently and shrugged. A couple of seconds later, Nick poked her back. She looked at him, and he shrugged. This went on for a while. The poking intervals got ever shorter, both figuring out a rhythm, until they turned to each other at the same time, mouth open and eyes wide, acting as if they’d only now found the culprit. They broke out into quiet giggles.

Between exchanging random grimaces with Nick, making dumb jokes about the lecture and trying to understand Aleksey’s wacky explanations, it was a very enjoyable ninety minutes.

Afterwards, Nick asked her if she wanted to go to a student bar this evening. Ellis and a couple of friends would be there, and she could meet all of them. There would even be a live band. Zoe said yes. She felt elated after the lecture, the easiness between her and Nick seemingly having returned.

༄༄༄

The sign above the bar read “The Polyglot”, every letter in a different font and color. Zoe thought it looked bohemian. If it hadn’t been inside a university, she’d have thought it looked ugly. But in a charming way. 

The Polyglot lay in the outer ring of the university, where some other student-run cafés and little shops had found their home. Its front had been painted a dark teal, the big square windows were lined with fairy lights. Zoe could catch a glimpse of tables covered in stickers, plants hanging on the walls and something like a stage in the back. The whole thing wasn’t particularly big, which wasn’t helped by the dozens of students sitting and standing around the tables.

She followed Nick as he pushed through to a comparatively free table. It was directly against a wall, and the cushioned sofa on the side of the wall was already taken by two of Nick’s friends. One of them was Mnymo, still in his turtle-neck jumper, but this time without pizza. He smiled as they approached, and Zoe did her best not to stare at his teeth.

The other one was shorter, though burlier and sported an impressive pair of horns on his forehead. Between them, black curls sprung out onto his brown skin. His mouth twitched into what Zoe assumed was a smile as Nick waved to him, but otherwise his expression was still.

“You made it,” said the one with the horns.

“Yup. Pretty full in here,” said Nick, ever the cheery one. 

“I don’t know if they’re too happy with the reservation, you know, lots of people coming in to see Deep Space,” said Mnymo. Nick made a throw-away motion with his hand.

“They’re not on for another hour.” He turned around to Zoe and breathed in, as if needing to apologize for his friends.

“Zoe, you already know Mnymo-”

“Hiya,” said Mnymo.

“-and this is Toratian.” The one with the horns just nodded at her. 

“Hi,” she said. “I’m Zoe. The annoying younger sister.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I have ten younger siblings,” said Mnymo with his broad smile. There was a minute silence which felt like an eternity.

“Oh, I forgot,” said Nick,  “Toratian did his bachelor's degree in architecture with me, and now does his master’s in underwater architecture.”

Zoe nodded, unsure what to say to that. “So… outer space and underwater? You must be mortal enemies.” The second that comment left her mouth she wanted to sink into the bar’s sticky floor. But, to her surprise, Toratian lifted his upper lip in what Zoe interpreted as a half-smile.

“Every day we’re trying not to kill each other,” he said. Nick and Mnymo laughed, and Zoe put aside the floor-sinking option for now. 

“You can sit already, Zoe,” said Nick to her, “I’ll get us drinks.” 

“No Dragon Blood,” said Toratian. “Anything but Dragon Blood.”

“Noted,” said Nick. “What do you want, Mnymo? Zoe?”

“Just a ginger ale,” said Mnymo.

“Uh, whatever you usually have,” said Zoe. 

“Got it.” And he floated off to the bar. Zoe sat down awkwardly, not knowing whether to look at the two others or not.

“So where do you study? Not here, right? Well, then you probably wouldn’t have needed a tour. Although. I could probably use a tour as well. The Hole is huge.” The words came bubbling out of Mnymo’s mouth. Zoe felt grateful for the conversation starter, but embarrassed at the same time.

“I don’t study, actually,” she said, only making eye contact with him for a split second. He seemed surprised. “I work.”

“Oh, yeah? What do you do, then?” Zoe rubbed one hand over her arm.

“Retail, mostly. Some taxi driving. I try to stay moving, though.”

“That sounds… nice,” said Mnymo, embarrassingly short on words this time.

“So you travel?” asked Toratian. Zoe nodded. “Got your own ship?”

“Yeah. Well. You couldn’t call it a ship, really. But it’s practically indestructible.”

Mnymo and Toratian nodded. Zoe prayed for Nick to come back already. She glanced over to the bar, but he was still waiting. She tried to come up with something, anything she could ask.

“So, uh, what- who is Deep Space? The band?” Mnymo nodded.

“A couple of music students, who make, uh, experimental music.” He said the “experimental” exactly like Zoe had thought “bohemian” earlier.

“It’s not that bad,” said Toratian. “I just think they have a bit too much time on their hands.” Zoe suppressed a laugh. Fair enough. The only reason she was part of a band was because she had nothing better to do. 

“Well, you listen to weird music anyway,” said Mnymo.

“You listen to Silytrian whale singing.”

“Hey! It reminds me of home! I’ve studied for tons of exams with the sweet sounds of Silytrian whales singing into my ears.” Toratian looked at Zoe and shook his head.

“Hypocrite.” Mnymo rolled his eyes, and Zoe grinned.

“What kind of music do you listen to?” asked Mnymo. Finally, a topic Zoe could talk about.

“Oh, all kinds. Mainly alternative rock, but also a lot of old Cessia 4 music. There’s also some good Wranlamin pop and Kryxian cybersounds.”

“Pff, you sound like Nick,” said Toratian. Zoe shrugged.

“Almost as if we grew up listening to the same music.”

“That doesn’t mean anything!” said Mnymo. “One of my sisters exclusively listens to Eorutian steppe techno.” Toratian erupted into a deep, throaty laugh.

“She sounds fun. More fun than you.” 

“Just because you listen to, idk, demon screaming-”

“The Screeching Gargoyles.” Zoe raised her eyebrows.

“Oh, I listened to them when I was, like, fourteen!” Toratian flashed a smile at her.

“What’s your favourite song?”

“God, that’s difficult. I discovered them through Beyond Black Holes, and that’s still good-”

“Obviously.”

“-obviously. But I think it’s Echo In A Vacuum. It’s just, ugh, so much fun, and Aarax Khuvil’s vocals in the bridge give me chills every time.” Toratian’s forehead was creased and he nodded.

“Good choice, yeah. Echo is definitely in my top five. My favourite has to be Pressure Chamber though, or Red Giant. I’m a sucker for Eketh’s early guitar sound, it’s just so heavy.”

“Oh yeah, it took me some time to get used to their early music, but there are some bangers. Definitely a fan of Pressure Chamber.” Mnymo sighed dramatically. 

“Someone get me out of here.” 

“Drinks, anyone?” Nick seemed to appear out of nowhere beside their table, holding a tray. He raised one eyebrow as Zoe and Toratian broke out laughing.

“Toratian finally found someone to talk to about Screeching Gargoyles,” said Mnymo with a pained voice. Nick grinned.

“I wondered when you were going to find out,” he said. “It was basically all Zoe ever played on our family ship when she was allowed the aux.”

“Hey, that’s not true! Maybe for, like, half a year.” Toratian high-fived her.

“That’s how it’s done,” he said. Mnymo whimpered. Nick set down their drinks in front of them and brought the tray back to the bar. When he’d returned and sat down, he lifted his glass to a toast, and said “To, uh, Emo music!”. Zoe and Toratian lifted their glasses enthusiastically, Mnymo just shook his head and took a sip. Zoe’s beer tasted not bad at all, with a faint sweet note to it.

“Oh, my gills, did you see the Pegana Lions game yesterday?” said Mnymo, having hastily swallowed his drink.

“Uh, no,” said Nick, but he seemed interested.

“Absolute shitshow,” grunted Toratian. “Wranlamin won by seven goals.”

“Oh, god,” said Nick. Zoe looked helplessly into the air. “Vacuum ball,” he explained to her. “It’s kind of like basketball but way more chaotic.”

“Uhuh,” made Zoe, for lack of a better word.

“And the Lions lost against Wranlamin? How did that happen?” said Nick, a bit amused and a bit upset.

“Alright, so, it was doomed from the very start when Nadde immediately lost the ball to Wranlamin and accidentally kicked Vresqil in the head…”

The conversation continued like this for a while, Mnymo and Toratian recounting the game in more and more confusing terms, while Nick seemed to get upset at every word. She just nodded, smiled, said “oof” when it seemed appropriate, and emptied her beer faster than she should have. The excitement from the short music conversation died down, and she began to shift uncomfortably in her seat. 

When she just contemplated going to the toilet, for a change of scenery, if you will, she saw some movement to the right of the table. 

“Am I interrupting?” said the person standing next to the table.

“Look who’s late again,” said Toratian. The person, who Zoe assumed was Ellis, blew air out of their nose and smiled gently.

“Rehearsals went on forever.” 

“As always,” said Nick. They nodded, and the dim lights in the bar reflected off of their left eye prosthesis. It glowed with a soft blue and was surrounded by metal plating up to their eyebrow and down to their cheekbone. Dark, wavy hair with a red hue fell onto their face, and in true actor fashion, they wore a black turtleneck with flowy black pants. Everything about them was gentle, smooth, and just cool. Ellis smiled at her.

“You must be Zoe,” they said. 

“Yup.”

“I was going to get a drink, you wanna come with?” Zoe looked at her empty beer glass, and gladly accepted the invitation. They pushed through the crowd together, towards the bar. Zoe already noticed the first drink in her knees. She’d never been a big alcohol drinker, and tried to hide her embarrassment as best she could. Ellis didn’t seem to notice, or at least, they didn’t say anything.

They ordered their drinks, Zoe going for a ginger ale this time. 

“I hope this is okay,” said Ellis as they stood next to the counter, waiting. “I thought you looked a bit lost over there.” 

“Oh, it’s fine. They’re fun, they were just talking about people I don’t know.” She didn’t know what made her say the next thing. Somehow, Ellis just radiated comfort. She felt like she could tell them anything, and they’d understand. “I’m also not great at, you know, conversations.” Ellis smiled and nodded.

“Well, don’t worry, I can talk fairly well. It’s a big part of my incredibly time-consuming hobby.” Zoe chuckled. Technically, talking was a big hobby of hers, too. Martyn had frequently said she must have been a TV host in another life, and she had been kicked out of a monastery because she simply couldn’t keep her vow of silence. But somehow, that all seemed to vanish here.

“What do you think of the Hole?” asked Ellis. Zoe shrugged.

“It’s still very big. I have a good sense of orientation but I could still get lost, probably.” Ellis nodded, their eye widening.

“I have a terrible sense of orientation, and let me tell you, it’s a nightmare. I missed so many seminars and lectures in my first semester.” 

“Though I suppose it’s a nice view. I mean, every window I’ve looked out of was stunning.” Ellis shrugged.

“That’s true. Though I know a couple of people who go a bit stir crazy in here. Sometimes you just need real earth under your feet.”

“Definitely. I mean, I practically live on my ship, but I can’t imagine not landing for longer than three days.” Ellis seemed interested.

“So you travel a lot?” Zoe tilted her head to the side.

“I try to. Mostly, I travel from job to job.” Ellis nodded, and for the first time in forever, she felt like she wasn’t being judged for her situation.

“I’ve been there,” they said. “Worked a lot in retail while I was trying to get acting jobs in my home city.”

“Oh? For how long?”

“About two years. I did get one or two, but they obviously didn’t pay well. In the end, my dad told me I should either study or go into a different job training.” Zoe’s mouth twitched into a sad smile.

“I know the feeling. I went into passenger transport piloting, but I failed a couple of tests and dropped out.”

“Oh? Nick never told me.” Zoe rubbed her finger over the counter.

“Well. Wasn’t one of my best moments.” Ellis nodded, but kept smiling gently. They finally got their drinks, and Zoe took a long sip from her ginger ale.

“You evidently chose to study, though,” she tried to change the topic. 

“Yeah. Theater pedagogy. There’s a much better school in Wranlamin, but me and my family couldn’t possibly afford that.” Zoe remembered Kriz and Florian talking about that university. They’d both gotten a stipend.

“Yeah, I’ve heard of it. But you’re happy here? I mean, you study theater pedagogy and you do student theater.” Ellis’s smile widened.

“Yes, yes, I’m very happy here. There are so many amazing people, I’m able to express myself in ways I never thought…” They trailed off for a moment. “I really don’t know what I’d do without acting, you know? And I know it’s going to be a long time until I actually make a living from it, if ever, but just the thought of not being on or around the stage for my entire life…” They shook their head. “Sorry. That got a bit corny.” Zoe tried to swallow something.

“Oh, not at all. I think it’s amazing, you know, having a passion that sort of… keeps you going.” She didn’t have one. It was as crystal clear as ever. Sure, she was a decent pilot, but she didn’t live for the thrill of flying. She liked traveling but she hadn’t made it her life’s purpose. She didn’t have a life’s purpose at all. Ellis said something she barely understood, and she tried to just smile and nod. They kept talking for a while, but Zoe’s responses grew shorter and shorter. Don’t cry, she said to herself. You’re in a bar packed with students, talking to your brother’s partner who you just met, you can’t cry right now. 

The shrill sound of microphone feedback interrupted their barren conversation. 

“Oh, Brick is setting up,” said Ellis. Zoe was ripped from her thoughts for a second. 

“Brick?”

“Friend of mine,” said Ellis. “Xe’s the lead singer of Deep Space.” Zoe nodded and tried to swallow the lump in her throat.

“Maybe we should go back to the others,” said Ellis. Zoe nodded and followed them, her half-empty ginger ale in hand.

“You’ve been gone for a while,” said Nick with a smile. 

“Well, we were having an enlightening conversation,” said Ellis. They smiled at each other, and Zoe’s don’t cry mantra picked up the pace.

“You’re just in time for the band,” Nick said to Zoe. “I think you might like them.” She forced a smile.

“I’d love to see them, but I’m a bit tired,” she said. Nick raised his eyebrows.

“Oh, okay. Are you okay?” Don’t cry.

“Yup.” Nick frowned slightly, but didn’t push.

“Okay, take my ID card then, yours won’t work as a key.” She took it from him and tried to avoid eye contact. She was pretty sure she felt the first film of tears over her eyes. If she hadn’t been desperate enough, she was also really embarrassed.

“Get some sleep, I’ll wake you up tomorrow,” he said. Strange how a couple years of little contact made him more caring than he’d ever appeared to be.

“Thanks. Have a nice time, though,” she said, flashed a smile at Ellis and then made her way out of the bar as quickly as she could. It was a race against time, or, rather, tears.

༄༄༄

The gray horizon blended into the dark, choppy sea. A vicious wind was blowing over the beach, sweeping up sand and salt water droplets. Zoe shivered as she stood among the waves, which at their biggest reached just below her shoulders. The family had stopped on their road trip to Tryscany and decided to eat lunch on the beach. It was nearly empty, because it was a Wednesday noon, and also because there seemed to be a storm coming. Nick and Zoe had had the great idea to get their first swim in the sea, and for some reason, their parents hadn’t stopped them. Zoe regretted that now.

Nick was already ahead of her a couple of meters. 

“Come on!” he cried over the sound of crashing waves and the howling wind. “I’m standing on sand!” Hard pebbles pressed into Zoe’s feet, and she desperately wished she could stand on softer ground. But the water was just getting deeper and the waves higher.

“I can’t! You’re taller!” she cried back. Nick waved to her.

“It’s shallower here!” She shook her head, although Nick probably couldn’t see it.

“I’m going back!” Zoe turned around and waded through the waves back to the beach. A wave crashed into her, and she swayed a bit, but held her footing. She took another step, then another, and felt another wave form behind her. She tried to step away, but faster than she could think, the wave pushed her forward, swept up her feet and crashed her shins onto the pebbles. She cried out as a searing pain shot through her right knee and just below her big toe. Shakily, she stood up, and limped back to the beach, the sharp wind making her scratches burn. She had one big round wound on her right foot, and another on her knee. 

As her mother cleaned the scratches and put band-aids on them, Nick came wading out of the sea. Unscathed, of course.

“Why didn’t you come to me? I tell you, there was sand!” Zoe was too preoccupied with her scratches. She wouldn’t be able to walk properly in her sandals for a while. Besides, she just wasn’t as tall as him, or as courageous, or as strong. There were just some things that she could never do. Instead, she would be looking at Nick, ahead of her, head held proudly above the water, telling her that there was sand to stand on. But Zoe would just never get past the waves.

[adventuresofzoeganov]

Lazuli

Part One - I'll Come With You

4,512 words

A meandering electric piano scale flowed from the speakers of her Tonner’s radio. Atmospheric voices joined the instrumental as she approached the giant glittering space station that was the Holistic University of Yechtara. It floated before the scenic backdrop of the Yechtaran planet, an amalgamation of hundreds of skyscrapers surrounded by a glass-panelled ring. Hundreds of bigger and smaller space crafts were flying towards or away from it. Zoe didn’t know why she was feeling anxious. She’d called Nick yesterday. “So good to hear from you! Of course you can come! I’d love to see you.”

She mouthed the lyrics along with the song. There’s nothing like lapis lazuli…

Nick had told her to come to docking station 15, where private visitors were received. She’d never been to a building with 15 entire docking stations. She turned up the volume to drown out her nervous thoughts, but just as the chorus began, it was interrupted by an angry beep.

Please join a queue to one of the docking stations read a red line of text on her dashboard display. Right. She had noticed the queues, she just hadn’t been sure if they were meant for her. She flew horizontally along the building, searching for her docking station. A number appearing on her display showed the ones she passed, and she finally filed in at number 15. Her palms were damp around the joystick controller. This all reminded her a bit too much of her training at PilOrg, the Wheel’s pilot organisation. She’d been a good pilot, all right. Just not a good student. She’d dropped out eventually.

Zoe waited for way too many anxiety-inducing minutes, inching forward in the queue, until she could finally pass through the gate. Below her were about five landing stages, lit by a bright cold light seemingly coming from nowhere. One of the landing stages blinked green, the docked spaceship gliding into a chute at the end of the room. The security guards on the landing stage waved at her, and she descended. One hand on the joystick, the other on her gun holster at her belt. This was the biggest center of knowledge and education in the Wheel of Fortune. They wouldn’t just let her walk around with it.

The Tonner landed with a jolt, and her door sprung open, revealing two stern looking security guards.

“Please step out of the vehicle,” said one of them.

Zoe gave the dashboard a small pat and wriggled out of the seat. It was, as always, inelegant. She felt the stare of the security guard bore into her, heard the hum of the cold lights and felt the smooth floor under her dirty soles. Christ, she wanted to get out of here as quickly as she could.

“Any weapons or dangerous items on you?” asked the security guard. 

“Just this gun,” said Zoe and pulled it from her belt carefully. “I have a permit.”

The second security guard took the gun out of her hand.

“Let me see this permit, then,” said the first one. Zoe fished a thin brown wallet out of one of her pockets and handed it to the guard. They opened it and studied it for a while. It was forged, of course. The Yechtaran weapons permit was one of the hardest to receive in the entire galaxy. Convinced that she wouldn’t even receive the, say, Kryxian weapons permit, Martyn had helped her forge a couple of different papers when he gave her the gun, just in case. It wasn’t that she couldn’t shoot – she had quite the hand for it, actually – it was that no one in their right mind would allow Zoe Ganov to carry a weapon. She didn’t know why she kept it, really. Comfort?

Zoe shot a nervous glance around the room to see if anyone else had noticed her walking into the university with a gun. Her gaze wandered through the nearly empty reception area, until her eyes stopped at an all too familiar figure. A nervous smile tugged at her lips. Nick waved at her.

“Right, all in order,” said the security guard and handed the forged permit back to her. She felt only slightly relieved. They patted her down for any other dangerous items, checked her luggage (one backpack filled with two shirts and a pair of sweatpants) and then told her to register at the reception desk.

At this point she was already a nervous wreck. The receptionist was a shiny android who, for some reason, had been given red eyes. 

“Name?”

“Zoe Evelyn Ganov.”

“Age?”

“Twenty-two.”

“Solar system of residence?”

“None. At the moment.”

“Occupation?”

She hesitated. She could hardly say she was a musician.

“Taxi driver.” It wasn’t technically untrue. She did work for BlackBird from time to time, when she really had no other option. It sounded better than ‘Uh, waiting tables and retail.’

The receptionist didn’t seem to care.

“Duration of visit?”

“Three days.”

The receptionist hummed, its red eyes flickering. A small plastic card emerged from the slit she’d thought was its mouth.

“Please take temporary identification from the card dispenser. You will be able to move freely around the University and eat at the canteen. When checking out, show the identification to reclaim your vehicle and any confiscated items.”

The receptionist’s voice briefly changed to a tinny human voice with a heavy British accent.

“Enjoy your stay.”

Zoe gingerly pulled the card from its mouth and saw the tiny picture of her, looking scared and confused, printed onto it. It must’ve taken a picture right there. So much for data privacy.

She opened another small gate using her brand new ID card, and finally, Nick walked towards her. He was wearing one of his patterned knit jumpers that were so ugly, they looked a bit cool. His hair was lighter and straighter than hers, his nose thinner and his green eyes had a hint of grey and blue. People had always said they looked so much alike, but Zoe couldn’t agree less.

“Zoe!” she heard him say, and something in her lit up. 

“Nick,” she tried to reply, but it was muffled against his shoulder as he enveloped her in a big hug. She awkwardly raised her arms and patted him on the back. With Nick it wasn’t uncomfortable, she just wasn’t used to it anymore.

Nick pulled away from the hug, holding her shoulders. He’d grown a mustache since they’d been home for the holidays, well, at least he’d tried to. Zoe contemplated making an off-handed comment about it, and decided not to.

“It’s so good to see you again!” Zoe nodded.

“It’s been a while.”

“How are you?”

“Oh, well, you know…”

Zoe ran her fingers over her thumb, a nervous habit she’d never been able to shake. Nick nodded, then his forehead creased.

“I saw them take a gun from you?” he asked, as if he wasn’t sure. “What on Earth do you need a gun for?”

Zoe shrugged.

“Oh, you know. Retail.”

“Ah,” he said, and nodded slowly. This wasn’t the first time Zoe had given her family a non-answer when they asked about her life. Nick seemed to let it go for the moment. Part of her wished he didn’t.

༄༄༄

Ever since her birth, Zoe and Nick had been mortal enemies. She had been certain of that for quite a long time. He was always just there. He was annoying, a show-off, unfair to her, and unfortunately also a bit cool. She imitated him, he got annoyed, they fought, they made a fragile peace. Zoe didn’t even remember most of what they fought about, or what exactly she imitated – only that it culminated in Nick yelling at her for putting peanut butter on her toast after he had done the same. She thought that it was unfair in this particular instance, but that generally, she kind of deserved it.

Not all of their childhood had been spent fighting, though. They sang along to their favourite songs in the car, went swimming with their grandparents, and played video games together (Nick, of course, nearly always beat her). The inconvenient age gap of three years however meant that nearly everything they did got Nick to yell, Zoe to cry and their parents annoyed eventually.

Zoe couldn’t quite pinpoint when the shift in their relationship happened. It was probably a mixture of them both growing older, and Nick spending less time at home. When Zoe turned fifteen, they’d stopped fighting altogether, despite the occasional struggle over who had to do the dishes and who would hang up the laundry. Then Nick got a job, and then he moved away entirely, to study architecture. Zoe didn’t exactly know what she missed. Endless fighting and annoyance? Having to share chores with someone more unreliable than her? 

Every time she saw him again, at holidays or birthdays, she felt like there was this great big something inside her, which leapt up at the sound of his footsteps on the stairs, but then quietly sank down again when she actually talked to him. After she’d moved out, they saw each other maybe twice a year, and she grew more distant and secretive about her life, out of embarrassment. That something never disappeared, though. It only made her sad now.

༄༄༄

Nick led her through a long gangway towards the main building, the huge windows offering a stunning view to the space around the university. Inside the main, well, cluster of buildings, they went through a myriad of fluorescently lit corridors, lined with hundreds of doors.

“The floor panels are color-coded,” explained Nick. “Each floor is divided into five main streets, all numbered and with their own color, so you always know where you are. In theory.” Zoe tried to memorize their route. Green, yellow, beige. Well, beige turning a brownish gray from all kinds of footprints and tire marks. Whose idea was it to have a beige floor anyway? 

They eventually passed into an area with blue floor panels, which looked to be the dormitories. Every couple of doors, the outer wall bent away to make a free space with a big window and a couple of armchairs or sofas. Nick stopped at a door not too far from one of these corners, and pressed his ID card onto a little screen next to it. The door quietly slid open, and revealed a couple of rooms.

“We’ve got a free bed for you,” he said. “There are visitor accommodations, but, well, they’re a bit pricey.” Zoe nodded. Working various jobs without any kind of finished training, she’d always been tight on money. 

“Thanks.” Nick turned and gave her a smile. It rubbed Zoe the wrong way. Was it pity? No, she decided. That had always been her father’s look. Nick was just being considerate.

She dropped off her backpack next to her bed, which was in Nick’s room. It was quite long and comparatively narrow, the walls were hung with framed movie posters, the floor was covered in boxes, clothes, and Zoe even spotted a guitar in one corner. She smiled fondly. It had been a good long while since they’d slept in the same room. Zoe remembered the bunk bed they’d shared for a few years. She had frequently annoyed Nick to death, pestering him with questions and bad jokes. 

“Nick, what does ‘crisis’ mean?” a six year old Zoe had once asked a nine year old Nick, who could only sigh in response. Zoe didn’t even remember his explanation. Only that it added to the pile of grudges they would hold against each other for the first fifteen years of her life.

Nick showed her around the well equipped dorm – they had two bedrooms, a bathroom and even their own kitchen, which also functioned as their living room. Nick’s roommate, Mnymo, was sitting at their table, eating a slice of pizza and watching a TV show on his small holoscreen. His head jerked around as they entered. He was lean, had bright green skin and fins where Zoe would’ve expected ears. Gills peeked out of his purple turtle-neck jumper. His startled expression eased into a smile, revealing very thin and sharp teeth.

“Oh, hey!” he said, mouth half full with pizza. “Didn’t hear you coming. Michael’s about to propose to Lisa! Couldn’t take my eyes off the screen.” 

“Aren’t you supposed to be in a seminar right now?” asked Nick with an amused smile. Mnymo swallowed the rest of his pizza and flashed a smile. 

“Maybe. I think they’ll be just fine without me.”

Nick shook his head and turned around to Zoe.

“This is my wonderful roommate, Mnymo. He’s supposed to be studying electrical engineering. I have no idea how he passes his classes each semester, but we’ve been here for about three years now.” Mnymo smiled and waved at her.

“You must be Zoe then, I’ve heard a lot about you. Oh, stunning belt!” Zoe looked down at her rhinestone monstrosity.

“Uh, thanks. A friend gave it to me.” She noticed Nick’s curious look, but didn’t react. 

“What do you think of the Hole?” Mnymo asked. Zoe had to think for a moment, then realised he meant the university. She tried to eloquently sum up her impression of it so far.

“Um, it’s big.”

“I was just about to give her a tour,” said Nick. Mnymo nodded and took another bite of his pizza.

“Better get to it then,” he mumbled and looked back at his holoscreen.

Nick gestured for her to leave the kitchen, and he led them into the dormitory corridors.

“He’s a nice guy, if a bit, uh, talkative,” he said. “Hope he didn’t scare you.” Zoe stopped fidgeting with her belt.

“Oh, not at all. He seemed nice.”

“Good,” said Nick with a smile.

He showed her around the corridors, most of them leading to seminar rooms. One of the doors stood half open and Zoe could see students sitting at glowing white tables. A couple of words flowed through the door, all of them technically in a language Zoe understood, but which made her feel like she was learning it all over again.

Next up was a library, the natural sciences one to be precise.

“There are twelve separate libraries in total,” whispered Nick as they stood in the entrance. An oval room opened up before them, four stories high, shelves piling on shelves. They radiated a cool light which hung in the atmosphere like the humming silence. Dozens of students stood in front of the shelves, talked to each other in hushed voices or studied at the desks in the free area in the middle of the oval. 

“I think I wrote my entire bachelor’s thesis here,” said Nick as they turned their back to the library. “It was a very quiet three weeks.”

“I can imagine,” said Zoe. “I think I’d go insane in there.” Nick chuckled. 

“Yeah, I think you would.”

They spent a lot of the tour standing in elevators. There were so many on each floor, they barely had to queue. The dashboard inside consisted of a couple of blue buttons with letters, and below about three times as many metallic buttons with numbers. Zoe guessed the building had been divided into subsections, so that they wouldn’t have to put over a hundred buttons into the elevators.

“One button for the vertical unit, and one for the specific floor,” Nick explained. “Don’t even try to count them. This elevator doesn’t even go all the way to the top.” Zoe raised her eyebrows.

“How long does it take to go from one end to the other?” 

“Too long.”

They stepped out into another red-floored corridor, in which the faintest smell of paint and wax hung. Zoe threw a confused look to Nick.

“Artists,” he said with a sarcastic eye-roll.

They walked to the end of the corridor, where the usually shiny metal doors were painted over to look like green velvet curtains.

“This is the wonderful student-run theater,” said Nick and pushed open one of the doors. Him and Zoe stuck their heads through the opening. Over a couple of rows of black folding chairs they saw the stage, currently only occupied by some white boxes and two students in black clothing. They seemed to be rehearsing a scene, while the rest of the group sat in the front row. Nick shuffled further into the room and waved to one of the actors. They stopped speaking and waved back, making everyone turn their heads to Nick. Zoe tried to disappear behind the door.

“Nicolas Elijah Ganov, what did I say about interrupting rehearsals?” called one of the students in the front row.

“My apologies, your holiness!” Nick shouted back with a laugh in his voice. “See you later, Ellis!”

“Get out, Nick!” said the actor who had waved back, and blew him a kiss.

Nick saluted and shuffled back out of the room. A grin spread across his face.

“So that’s Ellis?” said Zoe, who’d pieced it together.

“Yup. You’re the first one to meet them, actually. Well, of the family, that is.” Zoe couldn’t help but feel a little proud. He’d talked about his partner a bit last Christmas, a couple of months ago. Their grandparents had always pestered them both with questions about potential partners, which Nick and Zoe had both liked to avoid for a time. That was the first time she had heard of Nick’s partner – they had been dating for about two months before. She was happy for him, at least she tried very hard to be. The feeling of being left behind had been gnawing at her for years, and she tried her best to ignore it.

They spent some more time in an elevator, going back down. They hadn’t even been halfway up. She leaned on one of the railings.

“It’s not for the weak of legs,” joked Nick. Zoe snorted.

“I’m a bit hungry from all this standing around.” Nick snapped his fingers and pointed at her. He’d always looked cooler than her doing that.

“Well, isn’t it lucky that we’re going down to the Bottom. I mean, the bottom canteen. We just call it the bottom.”

“Of course you do.”

The Bottom, as all the students had to call it, was a giant glass egg with free floating tables and chairs, the buffet counters on a platform in the middle. The entire construction was a big “fuck you” to people with a fear of heights, with thin gangways between the tables and the Yechtaran planet beneath your feet. Inside her Tonner, Zoe had always (or almost always) felt safe. This was a different deal. She tried not to look down as they went to grab their food.

Nick led them to a free table and she sat down with a sigh.

“Whose idea was this glass floor?” she asked as if it was an accusation. “The same guy with the beige floor panels?” Nick laughed.

“I think it’s supposed to be a scenic view.” Zoe glanced down at the continents and oceans unfolding beneath her. She tried to put on her most unimpressed face.

“I’d speak my mind freely, but I don’t want the Yechtaran royalty to go after me,” she mumbled. Nick chuckled. 

“I’d recommend eating your sandwich instead.” Zoe nodded and bit into the still warm bread. She hadn’t recognized all the ingredients listed, but Nick had said to trust him. He had gotten a slice of spinach lasagna.

“Oh, that’s good. A classic, but it always delivers,” he said after one fork. “How’s yours?”

Zoe could only nod, her mouth still filled with feta cheese, tomatoes and some kind of salad leaf she had never tasted before.

They both took a bite of each other’s food, and Nick gave her a thumbs up.

“I think these are two of the few actually edible dishes in the Bottom,” he said after swallowing.

“Huh. Bottom of the barrel,” mused Zoe and got a laugh out of Nick.

“You don’t know how new that joke is.”

“I like to think of myself as avant-garde.” Nick raised his eyebrows and nodded vigorously.

“Proven by that stylish belt!”

“You mean my little rhinestone nightmare? Yeah, I’m pretty proud of it.”

“Your friend must be a fashion designer.” Clever, thought Zoe. Smooth. But today was not the day she’d start blabbing about her life.

“Unless he also dropped out of PilOrg training, then I don’t think so.” 

“Ah, your PilOrg friend. Martyn, right?” Zoe nodded. She’d taken Martyn’s name to stand in for whatever acquaintance she needed to explain at family holidays. For all they knew, he was her only friend who she’d met during her pilot training. Well, about half of that was true.

“Did he, uh, give you that ship as well?”

“The Tonner? Yeah.” So much was true. “He got it cheaper at a PilOrg… Yard sale.”

“A yard sale?”

“Eh… technical terms.”

Nick took another bite of his lasagna. Maybe he’d noticed her hesitancy to talk. Maybe to him, this was just the way she always talked. 

The lights in the canteen started to dim as they finished their meal. She’d arrived quite late in the simulated daily cycle, and the building was preparing for the night.

“I think we should go to sleep early today. At least I will,” said Nick, leaning back in his chair. “I’ve got a seminar early tomorrow. You can sleep in if you want to.”

Zoe nodded. “Sounds good.”

“And then,” continued Nick, “I’ve got a lecture tomorrow at twelve. It’s all about the effects of a vacuum on all kinds of construction materials. Sounds boring, I know, but I think it’s always quite entertaining. You could come if you want to.”

“I don’t think I’ve got anything better to do,” she said.

“And that,” he said with a smile, “is exactly how you get through four years of university. Keep it up.” 

༄༄༄

Nick stayed in the kitchen for a while, talking to Mnymo, while Zoe desperately tried to sleep. She kept thinking of the room they’d shared, of all the holidays they’d gone on. When they’d been about ten and thirteen, they even had to sleep in the same double bed. Although it was more annoying than fun for both of them, she’d always been scared to sleep alone back home. How easy it had all been.

When Nick finally went to bed, she pretended to be asleep.

༄༄༄

The sound of crickets chirping filled the suffocatingly hot air. Now and then, a mild breeze rustled through the cypress trees, but it couldn’t save the climate of a Tryscan summer afternoon. It didn’t bother the two children sitting in the shadow of a blue and white striped sunshade. The small metal table between the two, its white varnish already chipped off in numerous places, was arguably the worst surface for the game of Mikado they were playing. They’d stuck a folded piece of paper under one of its legs, but it still tilted a bit to one side if you rested a hand on it. Because of previous incidents, they’d agreed that only the player whose turn it was could have their hands anywhere near the table. Right now, it was Zoe’s turn.

“Come on!” moaned Nick. “Just pick it up!” Zoe didn’t reply. This game required maximum concentration. Nick tried his best to distract her.

“Oh, that doesn’t look good,” he said as she reached for a stick laying on top of two others. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you. That looks shaky!” She held her breath, then pressed down a finger on its pointed end. The stick rose up and she carefully took it away from the big pile in the middle and laid it to her own. She breathed out.

“Beginner’s luck,” said Nick. She grinned.

“Your turn.”

Nick flexed his fingers and tried to pick up a stick by both of its ends. Not a bad method per se, but Zoe noticed that he pressed his right index finger against the stick just a moment before his left, so that it was pushed over the sticks it was covering. They rolled a millimeter to the side.

“Uh uh,” she said, the grin on her face widening. Nick pursed his lips and laid the stick back down again.

Zoe tried the exact same trick, watched the distance of her fingers to the stick’s ends, and quickly lifted up the stick.

“Seriously?” said Nick, the playfulness of his jabs being tinted with annoyance. They played a couple of turns, Zoe’s pile ever growing. After a while, there was only the pile left where multiple sticks lay wildly stacked on top of each other. Nick sighed and picked up one of his own sticks.

“Watch me.” Zoe giggled. It was their grandpa’s signature Mikado move, which relied more on showmanship than skill.

“That never works.” Nick shrugged, a diabolical smile on his lips. He guided the stick beneath one on the top of the pile.

“You just need enough… force!” He threw his hand in the air, the stick flying with it, and for a moment Zoe was seriously impressed. Then the entire pile collapsed. They both burst out laughing.

“I think that counts,” said Nick after letting out a breath. Zoe nodded vigorously.

“I didn’t see anything move, did you?” Nick sighed and laid the stick back onto the now much less complicated pile.

“It was worth a try.”

“For me? Definitely.” Picking up the rest of the sticks was a breeze for Zoe. They didn’t even have to count their piles. The winner was obvious.

Nick leaned back in his fragile metal chair. He closed his eyes. “I guess it’s only fair that you’re better than me at, like, one game.”

“Yeah, Mikado. What am I going to do with Mikado?”

He shrugged. “Oh, I don’t know. You’ve got very steady hands. That’s useful.”

"Really?" Zoe crossed her arms. “I wish they had steady hands class in school. I’d only get good grades in steady hands class.” Nick smiled gently. 

“No, I mean, surgeons need calm hands. Pilots, too.” Zoe turned her head and looked to the endless blue sky. A single cloud seemed to float in place. She did like the idea of flying, although she wasn’t very fond of heights.

“What are you going to be?” she asked Nick. She didn’t look at him, but she heard him sigh.

“Haven’t really thought about it.”

“Aren’t you going to play guitar?”

“That’s just a hobby.” The way he said it made Zoe sad. Mikado was also just a game, really. 

She let her eyes wander down from the cloud to the horizon, where the distant mountain tops formed a gentle zig-zag line. They’d gone there on a hike yesterday, and Zoe had never felt so at home and alive as between the rocks and trees and brooks. 

“If piloting doesn’t work out, I’ll run away to the mountains and befriend the goats.” Nick chuckled softly.

“I’ll come with you.”

[adventuresofzoeganov]

been working hard in the writing mines. lazuli is coming next week, i prommy ⋆｡ﾟ🌊｡

[adventuresofzoeganov]

okey, the first draft of lazuli is finished and now sits at 11,575 words!! i feel like i'll give it at least this afternoon to rest until i read over it again and see how i'll start the editing process. i hope i still like the actual song by the end of this

[adventuresofzoeganov]

so, uh. lazuli is now officially a couple words longer than the entirety of cosmos boys. and i am like two thirds of the way through. huh

[adventuresofzoeganov]

im kinda going back to writing now (dont wanna jinx anything!) but im at like 4k with the next story and im not even halfway through according to the outline so. stay tuned for that behemoth in like six months maybe

[adventuresofzoeganov]

who's exciteed??

[adventuresofzoeganov]

i really have to motivate myself to write these days, but i've got like over 1k words of notes on the next story. stay tuned for more content of zoe and her brother, and some character introspection.

[adventuresofzoeganov]

Every Shattered Teacup

3,3591 words

The icy wind howled over the Eadrall peaks. Gusts of snowflakes whirled through the air, the dark silhouettes of the mountains, the grey sky and the white snow all blurring into one dead, hazy picture. Two children, wrapped up in red wool, trudged through the meter-deep blanket of snow. The younger one was crying.

“Come on,” said the older one. He had to shout against the wind. It didn’t help him hide his frustration. “It can’t be far now. Dad and the watch will already be looking for us.” The younger one was barely holding his hand, letting herself be dragged through the storm.

“I’m freezing!” she cried.

“Me too!” said her brother. “And we’ll freeze to death if we don’t hurry up. Come on, now!”

The girl sobbed, but kept dragging her feet through the snow. Their leather shoes would never be dry again, the boy thought. He’d spent all summer with his gran softening it, and now they would be ruined in a day. All because Lilja had to go look for rabbits. 

She had stopped moving again, and the boy turned around to shout at her, but she seemed alert. Her little brown eyes were wider than comfortable in this storm, and she was turning her head around frantically.

“Did you hear that?”

“Hear what?”

“The cry!” Lilja tried to walk to the left, but he grasped her hand tighter.

“Don’t run off now!” It was like she couldn’t hear him. He had to pull with all his waning strength to keep her by his side.

“Again!” said Lilja. “Someone’s crying! Over there!” The boy listened to the howling of the wind. It was the only sound he’d heard for an hour. 

“I can’t hear anything! Come now, we have to get to the village!”

“We have to help them!”

“If we go to look for them, all three of us will die!” Lilja shot him a look, angry as only a six year old could manage. “I’ll help them.” She pulled with all her strength, and to his horror, her glove slid off her hand. She dashed away into the storm. The boy ran after her, he’d always been the fastest at the summer races, he was definitely faster than his sister. But whatever it was, the snow, the wind, Lilja’s determination – she vanished into the storm, beyond the grey line of vision. He tried following her footsteps, but the snow must’ve covered them up immediately.

“Lilja?” he called. “Lilja? Lilja!” He shouted her name in every direction, but his voice was carried away by the wind. He walked to and fro, but there was no trace of his sister. Everything around him grey, cold, and dead. It was as if she’d dropped off the planet. 

His throat sore, his feet numb and his eyes red with tears, Mika waited in the storm until his father found him. He was still holding Lilja’s little red glove.

~

Get her into the ship.

Two monks followed the High Priestess’ command and picked Zoe up by her arms. Her feet dragged through the sand, a thick vignette closing around her field of vision.

“Come on!” grunted one of the monks. Zoe tried to get enough air to tell them she couldn’t breathe, unsuccessfully. They dragged her up a ramp, into the hull of a ship, while a thousand gold sparks danced in front of her eyes. The monks let go of her and she slumped onto the floor. A distant click told her the ramp had closed. Air filled her lungs.

“Oh, Zoe, I didn’t know you couldn’t breathe!” Inyo lay a hand on her back while Zoe had the worst coughing fit since she’d been rescued from a sand storm. A tinny crackle sounded from her wristwatch, and she could  hear Martyn’s worried voice.

“Zoe? Are you okay? What’s happening?” Inyo furrowed her eyebrows.

“Who is that?” Zoe held up one finger, breathed in shakily and sat up.

“Inyo- this is Martyn.” She showed her the watch. “Well, not the watch” A cough. A shaky breath. “He’s a guy. This is my communicator.”

You are talking to someone inside the universe?

“Uh, I would hope so?” She threw a confused look to Inyo, who seemed just as perplexed as she was. 

“Zoe, are you okay?” repeated Martyn. “Why do I hear a voice in my brain?”

“Hard to explain. Met some old friends. Gotta go.” She turned off the communicator. Martyn would have a word with her afterwards. But there was just too much going on, and her brain was only slowly filling up with oxygen again.

The ship hummed, there was the slightest jolt, and now the clouds were flying by the big windshield at the front of the ship. It was sleek, but angular, made of dully shimmering bronze. The inside wasn’t too big, room enough for maybe five people standing up, and three seats at the control panel. One was occupied by a monk and in another, Zoe could see the silhouette of the High Priestess. It was a bit hazy, which was probably the desired effect. Tall, broad shoulders, long flowing hair. She’d never seen the High Priestess up close, or if she had, she didn’t remember any details. Except for her eyes. 

Inyo helped her up and guided her to a seat at the rear. Her knees were still a bit unsure about the whole standing up business.

“Where exactly are we going?” she whispered to Inyo.

To find the Anchor. 

Inyo pursed her lips. “The jewel. The one you gave away.”

For months you had it. For months we tried to find you, but you kept escaping.

“Sorry,” said Zoe. “Didn’t mean to. I mean, I didn’t know you were looking for me, anyway.”

They even went to one of those terrible concerts!

Zoe’s heart jumped for a second. “You went to see the Cosmos Boys?”

“Not because we wanted to,” grunted the monk in the other seat. 

“Why are you even looking for it?”

“Well, you see, Zoe,” began Inyo. “The jewel is-”

Everything. Everything that is, that ever was and that ever shall be. It is the Anchor of the universe.

“Mika said it was the crown jewel of Yechtara.” 

“I think Mika was lying to you,” said Inyo. Zoe dropped her jaw.

“Impossible.” Inyo just rolled her eyes.

“But how can it be Everything?” Inyo smiled awkwardly and shook her head, but Zoe wanted an explanation. “It’s just a stone.” The High Priestess’ silhouette shifted in her seat, and Zoe could feel the telepathic frustration. But the Priestess was not an unfair woman. She was just incredibly stressed all the time.

Raollin, set the course for Eadrall, she ordered the monk. Then, what seemed to be her head turned towards Zoe and Inyo.

Not a very long time ago, the people of the universe developed time travel. As with any technology, there were a few pioneers, then rich people who could afford it, and then it was so popularised that anyone could use it. People were jumping through time here and there, changing their own and others’ timelines. No regard for the butterfly effect, seemingly no respect for the grandfather paradox. Now, the universe is not weak. If it couldn’t handle a certain amount of paradoxes, it couldn’t possibly exist. But the relentless changes of timelines, creating of parallel streams and meeting of para-selves slowly started to weigh on the structure of the universe. It became… scrunched up. Jumbled. It was slowly being ripped apart by every single time tourist. Bits broke off. Some parts melted. Some got swallowed, never to be seen again. The universe was slowly approaching the point where it would be torn apart.

I saw it all happen, and I couldn’t let the universe die. I took a thread made of stardust and time, and I threaded a jewel onto it. I consulted the Books of Destiny, and I sewed every single bit of past, present and future together as it was meant to be. This jewel passed through every moment in time and space. I created the planet we just left outside of the universe, to put the jewel and anchor the universe on it. It is the universe. It is the Anchor. It is the Everything.

Zoe gulped. “So that’s why time travel is forbidden.”

Yes. And that is why we must instantly find this man, Mika. Just imagine the damage a mortal man could to with the Anchor.

“Why, can it be destroyed?”

Inyo and the High Priestess answered at the same time.

“No.”

Yes. Everything can.

The words were heavy as rocks.

“And you can find him? Right now?”

I can feel the anchor like a grain of dust under my eyelid.

“But you were looking for me for months! That’s plenty of time for him to destroy the universe!”

I consulted Xar. He told me there would be no danger as long as it was in your hands.

“Ah, because I kept it safe!”

No. Because you’re generally incompetent.

“Oh.”

There was a heavy silence. Zoe thought about the High Priestess’ speech again.

“You really sewed together the entire universe as it should be? What are those Books of Destiny, anyway?”

“Protocols written by a group of Rwdhian monks,” said Inyo. There was a hint of pride in her voice. “They account for everything that is happening, everywhere.”

“Everything?” Inyo nodded.

“Every war fought. Every child born. Every teacup shattered.” Zoe’s mouth was dangerously close to a grin again, but Inyo looked dead serious. She had the sort of look in her eye that only an aspiring protocol monk could achieve. Zoe swallowed a giggle.

Every shattered teacup. There had been a shattered mug at the hut. She remembered her short encounter with Mika. Why had she been so gullible? Just to give away the jewel like that? If he’d been lying to her about its origin, had he been telling the truth at all? Did he really know her brother? She took another breath, quite a confident one, and leaned back against the gently vibrating wall. She just wanted to get out of here, fly away in-

“My Tonner!”

“What?” said Inyo. Zoe grabbed her arm.

“I left my Tonner down there! Shit shit shit shit-”

“We can get it back,” Inyo assured her. “Later.”

Yes, the ship. How did you get your hands on it, anyway? It is strictly forbidden to sell or steal monastery property.

“My friend Martyn got it at an auction,” she said, and immediately realised she was not making Martyn look good. “Uh, but he only bought it for Mika. Who couldn’t afford it. But he left, so Martyn gave it to me.” First, it sounded like another telepathic sigh, but Zoe realised it was actually a soft chuckle.

Zoe Ganov, how do you do it? She shrugged.

“I wish I knew.”

~

A couple minutes of silence followed, and finally, they were steering towards a small white and grey planet. 

Eadrall is both covered in snow and volcanoes. Not my choice if I wanted to destroy the Anchor, but we don’t know what the man has planned.

Zoe and Inyo shared an uncertain look.

“Please, don’t be inside a volcano,” Zoe whispered. Whoever was listening to her prayers seemed to ignore her. The ship was steering right towards a smoking crater, and the temperature slowly rose. A jolt went through the ship again as it landed upon a rocky ledge. 

Gas masks, everyone!

Inyo handed Zoe one of the monastery’s masks, and the ramp opened. Heat spread inside the ship like steam, and Zoe could hear the crumbling of rocks and the sizzling of lava. 

“Isn’t it way too hot? Won’t we burn?” Inyo shook her head and strapped some kind of metal bracelet around her wrist. She pressed a button, and the beads lit up in cool blue light. A shining silhouette formed around Zoe, and all of a sudden she was shivering.

I can see him. Hurry, all of you!

The two monks inside their ship ran down the ramp, but Inyo didn’t move.

“You, too,” she said to Zoe.

“Hold on,” said Zoe. “Why me? I thought I was ‘generally incompetent’?”

You’re a good shot, I’ll give you that. We need all the guns down there. If he tries anything with the Anchor, you are allowed to kill him if necessary.

Zoe frowned. She’d never killed someone before. Wounded, sure. But murdered?

Hurry up, Ganov. Inyo, come to the control panel.

Inyo flashed her a sympathetic smile and dashed over to the High Priestess. Zoe had to swallow whatever concerns she had. She certainly wouldn’t have to kill Mika.

The ramp felt hot under her feet, but it was practically breezy compared to the rock of the volcano. The sizzling, bubbling and rumbling were even louder out here. She started to sweat immediately, despite the cooling bracelet.

Through the black smoke, she saw a semi-circle of monks. They’d all raised their guns at the figure standing beside the crater. Zoe ran over to them, her hand on her gun. As much as she liked her new belt, now she kind of wished she’d still have to search for it inside her pockets. Maybe that would’ve been an excuse.

The figure beside the crater was Mika. It had to be. Black soot covered his clothes, his hair looked like it was smoking, but he wasn’t burning. Except for his eyes, maybe. They glowed yellow, leaking orange strands like tears down his face as his neck was craned towards the opening crater. His right hand was closed to a fist, something glowing in his hand, of a color now familiar to Zoe.

“Drop the stone!” shouted one of the monks. “Or we will shoot you!”

Mika didn’t respond. Zoe couldn’t hear it over the roaring volcano, but his mouth was opened slightly, and his face scrunched up as if he was whimpering in pain.

“Give us the stone, now!” shouted the monk again.

Mika shut his eyes, and steam rose from his eyelids. His tears evaporated instantly in the heat.

“By the universe, he’s crying, can’t you see that?” Zoe yelled at the monks. They didn’t spare her a look. Zoe had enough. She raised both her hands and carefully walked over to Mika.

“Mika? It’s me, Zoe.” He opened his eyes again, still overflowing with light. Could he even see her?

“Where- is- she?” he said. Zoe came even closer.

“What in Xar’s name are you doing?” shouted the monk. She turned around, suddenly very angry.

“The man’s crying, for god’s sake!” The monks didn’t seem convinced, but she couldn’t make out a lot anyway through the flimmering air. At least they didn’t shoot her. She turned back to Mika.

“Where is who? Are you looking for someone?” A shiver went through Mika’s body, and his jacket started smoking.

“Mika?”

“Lilja! Where is she?” He was now staring at Zoe. Pure pain in his eyes. He held up the stone. “This is Everything, right? Everything, everyone, everywhere? So where is she?”

“Who is Lilja?” Mika’s face became even more twisted.

“My sister. I lost her in a snowstorm. I let go of her hand, and I lost her!” He seemed to swallow a sob. 

“I’m sorry, Mika, really. But people go missing all the time!”

“No one even remembers her! It’s like she never existed! I looked everywhere for her!” He rubbed his face with his free hand, and his shoulders slumped. “Why can’t I find her with this?”

I’m afraid I know what happened to your sister.

Mika looked up, confusion temporarily replacing the pain on his face.

I am the High Priestess of Rwdh. I sewed the universe back together. I tried to account for everything that was supposed to happen.

“Supposed to happen? Do you mean Lilja wasn’t supposed to happen?”

I do not know. But sometimes, even the things that were a canon part of the universe vanished. They fell through the cracks, stuck out at ends I couldn’t possibly fuse. It’s not personal. It happens.

Mika gritted his teeth. More and more steam rose from his eyes.

“So the Books of Destiny don’t account for every shattered teacup?” Zoe couldn’t keep the mocking tone out of her voice.

I’m afraid Inyo was exaggerating.

Mika was barely standing up anymore. Zoe’s heart was aching for him.

“Please, Mika, there’s nothing-” Mika’s head shot up, a desperate look on his face. He gripped the stone tighter and stretched his arm over the opening crater.

“Stop!” screamed a monk. “Step back from the crater!” Mika didn’t pay him any attention.

“Bring her back!”

I can’t.

“You sewed the universe together! You can!”

I cannot.

Mika opened his fist, holding the stone only between his index finger and his thumb. The light from his eyes streamed down his face instead of tears. He was shaking violently.

“I’ll drop it!”

That won’t destroy it.

Even his facial expression was shaking now, desperately trying to hold some sort of determined face together. There was the booming sound of a boulder breaking off and falling into the crater. Something like a chuckle escaped his throat.

“I can’t even threaten you.”

“Mika, it’s not your fault!” shouted Zoe. He stood there, for a moment, like a statue- not for a hero, but a gravestone. Then his head slumped down, and he dropped the Anchor to the ground. Zoe dashed forward and grabbed it. As her skin made contact, a thousand smells and sounds and colors flashed through her mind with a searing pain. For a moment, she saw Everything. The birth and death of every star, the destroying of worlds, the forming and breaking of friendships and the blooming of every flower. It was as terrifying as it was beautiful. Her brain started to disintegrate.

Someone grabbed her shoulder and wrenched the Anchor out of her grip, and she was back in an active volcano. It was terribly quiet compared to the sounds of the universe.

Everyone back to their ships! The volcano is about to erupt!

The monks filed back into their accompanying ships. Zoe stood up shakily and was about to follow them, but Mika still kneeled by the crater. His back was jerking with sobs, his face covered with his hands. 

“Mika! We need to go!” No reaction. She inched closer and laid a hand on his back.

“Please, Mika. Stand up, come with us.”

“I don’t want to.”

“We’ll die!” Mika was awfully still now. Zoe’s mind was racing. How did you convince a desperate man not to die?

“You’re the only one that remembers your sister, right?” she finally said. “Your memories are the only thing left of her in this universe! If you die, the last traces of Lilja die with you!” Mika’s back shook with one more sob. He turned his head to her, his eyes puffy. Zoe held out her hand to him and stood up. He took it, and she pulled him onto his feet. They ran to the High Priestess’ ship.

They took off moments before the eruption, the dull banging of rocks against the hull following them up into the atmosphere. 

~

They dropped Mika off at the nearest city on Eadrall. He didn’t say a single word to the monks or the High Priestess, just a quiet “Thank you” to Zoe. She hoped he’d be alright. Sure, he’d threatened to destroy the entire universe. But sometimes, missing a sibling just did that to you.

They returned the Anchor to the Planet that Didn’t Exist and Zoe reunited with her Tonner. She lay a hand on the dark iron hull and patted it like a horse. It felt good to have it back.

“You should come with us,” said Inyo. “We always have a free room.”

Zoe smiled and shook her head.

“I think the High Priestess would have something against that.”

“Oh, I don’t know. You kind of just saved the universe.” Zoe looked over to the High Priestess and despite her hazy silhouette, she knew exactly the kind of stern look she was giving her.

The universe was never in any danger. 

Zoe shrugged and was ready to reply something snarky. The High Priestess of course hadn’t been inside the active volcano.

But perhaps you saved that young man.

Zoe closed her mouth, and a strange warm feeling rose in her chest. She tried batting it away with a hand.

“I think I’ve had enough divine knowledge so far, thank you,” she said to Inyo, who nodded.

“Understandable. What will you do, then?” Zoe sighed.

“I think I should go visit my brother.”

~

The sun was setting behind the snowy Eadrall peaks, the mountains glowing rosy red. There was still some distance Mika would have to trudge through the shallow snow blanket to reach the village, but he appreciated the time to think. He didn’t remember how long it had been since he last left his childhood home. So many years of searching for Lilja, researching the Everything… All for nothing. But there was something about what that young woman had said. Something that stopped him from laying down in the snow and waiting for the frost to stop his heart.

Lilja might be gone from the universe, forgotten even by her own parents. But as long as he could hear, the wind would always sound like her voice – and as long as he could see, the stars would always spell out her name.

[adventuresofzoeganov]

oh boy uh... i've been trying to work on the next story but i kinda got stuck. i want to continue but school and life have been going hard on me for no reason like what ¯\_༼ ಥ ‿ ಥ ༽_/¯

so. next adventure when it's ready. i really like the jewel/viriqion/Everything but plots are Hard.

[adventuresofzoeganov]

i'm going to greece next week, so i won't be posting a story on friday. maybe a short.