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@aeipathic
welcome! this is a private, selective multimuse rp blog run by rhys (they/them, 30+), featuring muses from mdzs, shl, tgcf, ffxiv, and others. important links are below; please check them out!
rules || muses || meme call (accepting) || memes
blog status: active but slow!
nothing in the world belongs to me but my love, mine, all mine
on the one hand, this blog has reached the part of its life cycle where i find it really hard to come back consistently.
on the other hand, tgcf season two has me absolutely feral about tgcf again and i'm itching to write it
@legendwrote says: “I’m just sorry I couldn’t have been… more helpful to you.“ (from ZZS for Han Ying!)
a meme i’ve forgotten || accepting if u can find it
“zhuangzhu,” han ying protests: instinctive, reflexive. zhou-zhuangzhu does not need to apologize to him, and certainly not for that. more helpful? han ying had been nobody: born a slave, raised a slave, separated from his parents before he had more than threadbare memories of them. as a boy he had known that he would be worked until he died, and nobody would miss him, nobody would care, not even the other slaves; they, like him, were too used to death to mourn for long. he was a scrawny child who meant nothing to the world, and to whom the world meant nothing.
zhou-zhuangzhu had saved his life, but more than that, he had given han ying a reason to live. he had looked at han ying like he meant something, like he was more than just another slave boy. he had taught han ying, given him a place and a purpose in something greater than him, made him into someone with a name and a title that mattered. and he thinks he wasn’t helpful?
“you gave me everything, zhuangzhu,” he insists, pushing himself higher on his pillows so that he isn’t looking up at zhou zishu. “you—” he has never been able to articulate the enormity of what zhou zishu had done for him, besides you saved my life, but what a paltry phrase for all that it contains. “please don’t say that.” what are a few burns in comparison? he had only been worried that they would stop him from fighting, from being able to serve, but da wu says that he should make an adequate recovery, even if he loses some range of motion and gains some pain — so han ying doesn’t care.
if anything, it’s better than he deserves. and at this thought he remembers that their positions should be switched. face falling, he bows his head, cups his hands towards zhou zishu. “it is i who should apologize to you, zhuangzhu. ying’er led tian chuang to you in his foolishness. he is the reason you were captured, and had to endure such hardship.” he burns with shame as he says it. nobody had told him so, but han ying can put two and two together: tian chuang had not troubled four seasons manor until the morning after han ying’s arrival there. the prince had used him — for all han ying knows, everything he’d found in that office had been planted there for him.
how could he have been so shortsighted? in his desire to save zhou zishu, he could have ruined him.
head still bowed, he says quietly, “this lowly one will accept whatever punishment zhuangzhu deems fit for endangering him and his loved ones.”
legendwrote:
⚍☯⚎ Zhou Zishu saw the look in Han Ying’s face at the mention of the nails, the torture of the mere thought of it, and that was enough to satisfy the phantom notions of duty and justice that clung to his soul. The thought of subjecting another to those standards felt barbaric to him now, unable to consider a world in which Zhang Chengling or Wen Kexing would be forced to maim themselves to leave his service. He only wished that he could go back now and take back every nail he’d ever driven into the flesh of his followers — willing or not. All secrets became ash in the end when men burned for a cause one way or another, so what did it matter, this death or a more merciful one?
Zhou Zishu stroked his jawline as he gazed at the other through narrowed eyes, considering, though it was more for show than anything; he had already decided long before this moment what he wished of the other, but had been waiting for the right moment to make his proposition. It seemed the perfect moment had arrived.
“If you wish to repay me in earnest then become my disciple,” he stated matter of factly, folding his arms over his chest. “You served alongside many Four Seasons Manor disciples in your time, I don’t think it’d be a stretch to say you’ve earned your place,” he reasoned with a shrug of his shoulder. “And you can further earn it by helping me rebuild,” a small smile of self-satisfaction curled at the corners of his lips, leaning his hip back against the windowsill as he watched the other’s reaction, his voice fading to a more personal volume. “That no-good disciple of mine could use a shixiong to look up to. You up for it?” ⚍☯⚎
it amazes han ying, the changes he can see in zhou zishu. it had been strange, after zhou-zhuangzhu had left tian chuang, to see him in loose and flowing robes, his hair down, after a lifetime of watching him lead them in the same military robes and severe topknot han ying himself sported. at the time han ying had accepted it as part of zhou zishu's...disguise would be the wrong word, as he had abandoned his true disguise and han ying knows well the power of a disciple of four seasons manor to go unrecognized, but of the alteration of his persona, perhaps. now, he thinks that maybe the robes and hair were a return to who zhou zishu really is, and the tian chuang uniform was the disguise all along.
it's more than that, though; that was only the shallowest glimpse of it. in those brief moments that han ying had with zhou-zhuangzhu after his break with tian chuang, zhou-zhuangzhu had been either serious, morose, or urgent; there had been no time for reflection or joy. now, though — now that han ying sees zhou zishu at four seasons manor, he is beginning to appreciate the changes in full. for instance, this: the way zhou-zhuangzhu appears to ponder him. han ying has witnessed zhou zishu considering how best to punish a subordinate, how to execute a plan, how to move past a roadblock, many times, and in all instances he was serious and opaque. this is not that. it is as if he only plays at it — there is a drama to it, to the deliberate stroke of his chin and the spark in his narrowed eyes. it is different. it is new.
it makes han ying wonder how well he had ever known his leader at all. he had seen glimpses of zhou zishu's lightheartedness in the way he sometimes interacted with his old sect brothers, before...before. when his guard was down, before his responsibilities and the lives he'd lost hung around his neck with all the weight of a tightening rope. but even that was not like this. it is not sad, to think that he never really knew zhou zishu; if he is very lucky, it means he will get to learn from him all over again.
but the moment of recollection is short, because soon enough zhou-zhuangzhu is speaking again, and the words very nearly bring tears to han ying's eyes. it is no punishment, and zhou-zhuangzhu knows it, and there are some feelings there, about the matter of his indiscretion being sidestepped so entirely, that han ying will have to examine at a later time. for now, there is only this: that he is being offered the boon he'd thought he was giving up entirely, the moment he focused his qi and severed his heart meridians. the thing he'd dreamed of, wished for and regretted, every moment since joining tian chuang.
disbelief and awe war on his face for a moment, and then he bows his head, hoping to hide the strength of his emotions. he had known, following zhou zishu into tian chuang, the life he was accepting: known every moment that he was courting death, and that when it finally came to claim him, the afterlife would not be kind. that was the life of an assassin, and it was one he accepted gladly, for the honor of serving zhou zishu. that it might lead to a life like this was a dream that had dwelt in his innermost of hearts, but never more than a fantasy. he had never thought that he could actually...
after a long moment and a deep breath, he raises his head again, a fervent light in his eyes as he leans forward. "zhuangzhu." his zhuangzhu in truth! "han ying does not deserve this honor. but—there is nothing i desire more. to be your disciple is all any of us desired." shixiong. the word is sharp and sweet in zhou zishu's mouth. he has had subordinates, but they were not his friends; he has had seniors, but they were not his brothers. "i will guide zhang-xiongdi—that is, chengling-shidi, as best i can. though i doubt there is anything i can teach him that he cannot learn from you."
tell the world what you are. a creature of undeath. a vessel, an overseer, a bridge between the living & the deceased. you are the funeral & the casket. the one & only spiderman of earth - 3113, a world where spirits & ghouls have now come to terrorize the mortal realm. you’ve lost count of the years you’ve kept them at bay, but you’ll do it again. & again & again & again. you have no other choice. please like or reblog if you would be interested in interacting with an original character for spider-man: across the spiderverse !! as written & loved by blaise !!
slips in to quietly add a few ffxiv characters to my muselist, for reasons
We need more female loveable rogue characters.
I don't mean girlboss queens of criminal empires, or 'damaged' girls who are only putting up a tough criminal facade to hide their tragic past, or even terrifying but also sexualised murderers who can kill a man without blinking and look good while doing it.
I mean like… female characters whose primary roles in the main cast are to show up as needed with whatever whacky combination of items the heroes need and some vague excuse about them having "fallen off the back of a lorry".
Female characters who will shadily say "I know a guy" (in the gender neutral sense) when the protags need someone for a specific task, and then when they meet that guy she immediately almost gets murdered because of some ludicrous crime she committed years ago that she assumed they'd be over now.
Female characters who can't fight for shit and have no ability to act as a femme fatale, but do have the charisma/persuasion skills to talk their way out of dangerous situations when needed.
Female characters who have never murdered anyone, and would never consider murdering anyone, but still try to present themselves as some kind of master criminal despite having approximately none of the skills to back that up. And where this is played for laughs rather than as some sort of dramatic reveal.
Just… weasels. Urchins. Conwomen. Tricksters.
All those types of character that get to be comedic and loveable but kinda pathetic when played by a man, but suddenly have to be deadly, sexy, tragic and/or girlboss when played by a woman, because female characters always have to have that extra edge of seriousness to make up for the fatal flaw of being female.
Just let girl characters be fun, for godssake.
thinking about how i really want to play my tlt characters, and i think it’d be easier to dip my toes back into writing if i could play the newer muses i’m excited about, but the tlt rp fandom on tumblr is tiny, and then i realized — they’re literally necromancers. there’s gotta be a way to overlap that with mdzsverse—
just wanted to pop in briefly and throw out an apology to anyone who’s been plotting with me or sending me things that i’ve left hanging — please be reassured that it’s not you, i’m still super excited to interact once i can be on tumblr regularly again!! lots going on and i haven’t had much writing brain for a while, but i promise i’ll drag myself back here when i can. sorry!!
* 𝐇𝐁𝐎'𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐔𝐒 / 𝐄𝐏 𝟏 & 𝟐.
feel free to change pronouns / wording! spoiler warning.
“ and that’s your biggest worry? ”
“ i presume the prospect of a viral pandemic keeps you up at night as well? ”
“ you like saying no. ”
“ billions of puppets with poisoned minds. ”
“ i was gonna make you birthday pancakes. ”
“ how old are you again? ”
“ gonna have to wear diapers soon. ”
“ you’re still alive, you old fucker. ”
“ your t-shirt’s inside out. ”
“ can’t tell you how exciting it was listening to that fucking conversation. ”
“ i was gettin’ worried. ”
“ i was thinkin’ we’d make some cookies. ”
“ i don’t know why i talk to her. ”
“ you locked the door for once, good job. ”
“ you got me a present? ”
“ i don’t hear anything. ”
“ that was lame. ”
“ i put the change back because i’m an honest thief. ”
“ it’s the thought that counts. ”
“ don’t fall asleep. ”
“ wasn’t my fault this time. ”
“ help me. ”
“ get in the truck! ”
“ you killed her. ”
“ we’re gonna be brave, and we’re gonna get outta this. ”
“ are we sick? ”
“ there’s nowhere to fucking go! ”
“ i got you. ”
“ can you run? ”
“ you keep your eyes on me. ”
“ we’re gonna get you somewhere safe first. ”
“ hey! no one told you to move. ”
“ are you alone? ”
“ how did you get this? ”
“ it’s okay. you’re safe. ”
“ well, the more you shoot people, the harder it is to sleep, i guess. ”
“ you want ‘em or not? ”
“ fucking fireflies been blowing shit up all week. ”
“ it’s easy to make a mistake in the dark. ”
“ i’m not asking you to say anything. ”
“ how about we just let it go? ”
“ you gonna keep me here? kill me? ”
“ i give you my word that he won’t hurt you. ”
“ i’d like to go home and drink ‘til my face stops hurting. ”
“ they’re shooting at us. ”
“ i’m not a firefly! ”
“ people are gonna come looking for me. ”
“ let me out or you’re gonna pay, motherfuckers! ”
“ i’m not supposed to be here! ”
“ you can’t be serious. ”
“ there are worse things than infected out there. ”
“ i got jumped by a couple guys. ”
“ it’s a miracle you’re alive. ”
“ it’s a miracle any of us are alive. ”
“ i was in fedra lockup all day. ”
“ i need you to take a breath. ”
“ we’re gonna find out, quietly. understand? ”
“ i would very much like for you to hurt him. ”
“ our people are asking what’s going on, and i don’t know what to tell them. ”
“ rebellion takes time. ”
“ is this real? ”
“ keep it quiet. ”
“ you tell me to ‘look for the light’ and i’ll break your jaw. ”
“ you’re not scared. ”
“ why did you stop them? ”
“ i won’t tell anyone about any of this, i swear. ”
“ you were safe there until you decided to sneak out. ”
“ why won’t you let me go home? ”
“ i wasn’t expecting it. ”
“ you can’t be stupid like this. ”
“ obviously didn’t take ‘fuck off’ for an answer. ”
“ gimme my knife. ”
“ it’s our business to know things. ”
“ you’re the cause of it. ”
“ we don’t smuggle people, sorry. ”
“ i know what’s out there. ”
“ what are they capable of? ”
“ you trust her? ”
“ your watch is broken. ”
“ you mumble in your sleep. ”
“ i’ve never been on the other side of the wall. ”
“ look how dark it is. ”
“ but you know where to go, so we’re gonna be okay. ”
“ holy shit, i’m actually outside! ”
“ you stay close, and you follow my lead. ”
“ i’m not sick! ”
“ i should fucking kill you! ”
“ i apologise about your lunch. ”
“ is this bite from a human? ”
“ so they’re still out there… ”
“ i have spent my life studying these things. ”
“ i’m not infected. ”
“ i think what really impressed them was the fact that i didn’t turn into a fucking monster. ”
“ there’s not gonna be anything bad in here? ”
“ better them than us. ”
“ i’m gonna talk to you like you’re an adult. ”
“ fuck you, man, i didn’t ask for this. ”
“ can i have a gun? ”
“ i’ll have to thrown a fucking sandwich at them. ”
“ they hit most of the big cities like this, they had to slow the spread somehow. ”
“ whatever, i snuck in. ”
“ you got some balls on you, sister. ”
“ people like to tell stories. ”
“ have you heard of books? ”
“ i don’t know how i was supposed to know that. ”
“ you’re a weird kid. ”
“ you try climbing ten fucking floors with our knees, see how you feel. ”
“ where’d you learn to do that? ”
“ no more questions about me. ”
“ was it hard? like, knowing they were people once. ”
“ you step on a patch of cordyceps in one place, and you can wake a dozen infected from somewhere else. now they know where you are, now they come. ”
“ you’re not immune from being ripped apart. ”
“ from this point forward, we are silent. ”
“ well, i didn’t shit my pants, so… ”
“ how about you just take the good news? ”
“ is it everything you hoped for? ”
“ our luck had to run out sooner or later. ”
“ i never ask you for anything. ”
“ save who you can save. ”
“ i’m not going with you! ”
@fengyas says: ‘alright, taking bets– who will give out first, you or me?’ (for ye baiyi, modified the meme... for reasons)
meme || accepting
ye baiyi snorts outright, a characteristically rude sound, and surveys wen kexing from over the rim of his cup of wine. this kid, he thinks — always yapping around and nipping at heels, like a puppy who thinks he’s got the teeth of a hound. either that, or he’s like a peacock, preening as loudly and colorfully as possible in the hopes of impressing him.
but he’s barking up the wrong tree, if he hopes to be impressive.
“ten years haven’t passed yet, little brat,” ye baiyi says dismissively. “you really want to challenge me this early? you wouldn’t stand a chance. if you’re so keen to die, go find a pole to knock you out instead and save me the effort.”
𝓗𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓬𝓪𝓷𝓸𝓷𝓼 — send 💭 + a topic to receive a headcanon about said topic.
“Oh, you know, you realize that grief is perhaps the last and final translation of love. And I think, you know, this is the last act of loving someone. And you realize that it will never end. You get to do this, to translate this last act of love for the rest of your life. And so, you know, it's– really, her absence is felt every day.
“And ever since I lost her, I felt that my life has been lived in only two days, if that makes any sense. You know, there's the today, where she is not here, and then the vast and endless yesterday where she was, even though it's been three years since. How many months and days? But I only see it in — with one demarcation. Two days — today without my mother, and yesterday, when she was alive. That's all I see. That's how I see my life now.”
-Ocean Vuong, NPR
SENTENCE MEME ⟶WILDERMYTH / The Sunswallower’s Wake - Part 3 always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.
‘unless… you’re too chicken?’
‘you know it’s a bad idea when i’m the voice of reason.’
‘just so you know, i’ll be spitting in your food.’
‘so what’s your favourite monster?’
‘alright, taking bets– which gives out first, my lungs or my legs?’
‘don’t die without me.’
‘tunnel? right here, right n– oh! oh, you mean you found a tunnel?’
‘i don’t know, i’m romanced by this tunnel, all of a sudden.’
‘you can’t find a tunnel, then not go in the tunnel.’
‘can’t do more than throw a few badly aimed stones, myself.’
‘we’re popping out of the wardrobe?’
‘can’t pay you in anything but fish.’
‘i remember finding half-remembered fragments of that tale in all kinds of places.’
‘i was bold and reckless in my youth, if you’ll believe it.’
‘i said the same thing myself.’
‘we’ve done enough wandering. there’s a battle waiting.’
‘we have a plan, right? besides standing around and getting shot at?’
‘enough yammering. you gonna fight me, or what?’
‘don’t run off and start a new life together! we’ve still got a job to do!’
‘oh no. that… wasn’t my granny. but i’m sworn to secrecy.’
‘did you just say ‘magical bread’?’
‘i’ve seen grim things, and i’ve seen them more and more.’
‘you’d better be quick to learn, or you’ll be quick to die.’
‘if you don’t want me messing up, teach me well.’
‘he wanted to make us suffer, make us grovel.’
‘why must you bury your dead? you’d rather feed the worms?’
‘just how old are you, anyway?’
‘no lesser magic would mend you.’
‘my body wobbles as if it were formed of jelly.’
‘the sun shall restore me to what i was.’
‘i know you will never betray me.’
‘it’s just as the saying goes: clever birds make quick work of knotted ropes.’
‘i’d like to pop the pair of them right here.’
‘it’s not where i would choose to live, if i was some skyclimbing rich guy.’
‘there’s no telling what’s beyond the gate. the legends are vague.’
‘don’t worry! if i croak, just make sure you bury me with the birdguy!’
‘cute throne.’
‘we should’ve maybe just brought him. that tooly fellow.’
‘you’ve surely come a long way. faced horror and death.’
‘stubborn old bird.’
‘could bring these walls down.’
‘humans! fruit-guzzling doggens! lanky-limbed pinstrels! wrecking what they want, when it can’t be had!’
‘they mean to entrap me. entomb me.’
‘put the knife down. you can’t possibly believe a fight would go your way.’
‘while an ember survives, i linger.’
‘you closed your eyes. you alright?’
‘do we kill it?’
‘you see all this? this’s your mess.’
‘i’m… just talking to a bird, huh?’
‘thought i was somewhere else, for a second.’
‘it’s said that those we lose live on in our stories.’
‘life has no lord, the wild no master.’
‘the sun is free, and all things beneath it are free.’
@legendwrote says: ‘put the knife down. you can’t possibly believe a fight would go your way.’ (From Shangque to Jieli)
meme || accepting!
she jumps, the fingers around the small, curved knife she carries clenching harder, but she’s already relaxing a little as she recognizes the voice coming from behind her. on the one hand, damn — she’d really thought she’d gotten the timing right, what business does he have skulking around where she’s trying to sneak! — but on the other hand, thank the heavens it’s him. if it were some nameless pair of thickly-armored goons of the moon supreme’s, she’d probably end up trussed up between them no matter what she tried to say.
him, though — him she can talk to.
“hei long-dage,” jieli pouts, turning to face him, the sack flung over her shoulder jingling a little as she does. “a helpless woman like me has to have something to protect herself with, doesn’t she? just think about how i’ve already been treated here! don’t you think it’s reasonable? people try to take advantage of a merchant woman who only has her own reputation to protect her, what else should i do? but i’d never try to use it on you, it’s just for show, really.” actually, it’s much more use as a key than a knife, with a tidy little enchantment on it that helps her reach, ah, difficult places, but she’s not going to tell him that.
“look, i’ll put it away, since it makes you uncomfortable. and you can put away that big sword of yours, and we’ll both be on our way, how about that? i’m sure you’ve got important business with the moon supreme, and i’ve got”—shit, what does she got—”a delivery to make to xiao lanhua!” well, it worked last time, why not? “so, if you’ll just excuse me...” don’t stop me, don’t stop me—
SENTENCE MEME ⟶WILDERMYTH / The Sunswallower’s Wake - Part 3 always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.
‘unless… you’re too chicken?’
‘you know it’s a bad idea when i’m the voice of reason.’
‘just so you know, i’ll be spitting in your food.’
‘so what’s your favourite monster?’
‘alright, taking bets– which gives out first, my lungs or my legs?’
‘don’t die without me.’
‘tunnel? right here, right n– oh! oh, you mean you found a tunnel?’
‘i don’t know, i’m romanced by this tunnel, all of a sudden.’
‘you can’t find a tunnel, then not go in the tunnel.’
‘can’t do more than throw a few badly aimed stones, myself.’
‘we’re popping out of the wardrobe?’
‘can’t pay you in anything but fish.’
‘i remember finding half-remembered fragments of that tale in all kinds of places.’
‘i was bold and reckless in my youth, if you’ll believe it.’
‘i said the same thing myself.’
‘we’ve done enough wandering. there’s a battle waiting.’
‘we have a plan, right? besides standing around and getting shot at?’
‘enough yammering. you gonna fight me, or what?’
‘don’t run off and start a new life together! we’ve still got a job to do!’
‘oh no. that… wasn’t my granny. but i’m sworn to secrecy.’
‘did you just say ‘magical bread’?’
‘i’ve seen grim things, and i’ve seen them more and more.’
‘you’d better be quick to learn, or you’ll be quick to die.’
‘if you don’t want me messing up, teach me well.’
‘he wanted to make us suffer, make us grovel.’
‘why must you bury your dead? you’d rather feed the worms?’
‘just how old are you, anyway?’
‘no lesser magic would mend you.’
‘my body wobbles as if it were formed of jelly.’
‘the sun shall restore me to what i was.’
‘i know you will never betray me.’
‘it’s just as the saying goes: clever birds make quick work of knotted ropes.’
‘i’d like to pop the pair of them right here.’
‘it’s not where i would choose to live, if i was some skyclimbing rich guy.’
‘there’s no telling what’s beyond the gate. the legends are vague.’
‘don’t worry! if i croak, just make sure you bury me with the birdguy!’
‘cute throne.’
‘we should’ve maybe just brought him. that tooly fellow.’
‘you’ve surely come a long way. faced horror and death.’
‘stubborn old bird.’
‘could bring these walls down.’
‘humans! fruit-guzzling doggens! lanky-limbed pinstrels! wrecking what they want, when it can’t be had!’
‘they mean to entrap me. entomb me.’
‘put the knife down. you can’t possibly believe a fight would go your way.’
‘while an ember survives, i linger.’
‘you closed your eyes. you alright?’
‘do we kill it?’
‘you see all this? this’s your mess.’
‘i’m… just talking to a bird, huh?’
‘thought i was somewhere else, for a second.’
‘it’s said that those we lose live on in our stories.’
‘life has no lord, the wild no master.’
‘the sun is free, and all things beneath it are free.’
i want to write a well-considered meta about my tlt muses but instead all i have in my brain is incoherent noises about how these books are all about love but none of that love is purely or traditionally romantic and most of it defies any simple labels at all and that’s part of what makes me so feral over it
