Céline @aestheticchicagoburzek - Tumblr Blog

Mine, you're finally mine.

MATURE CONTENT !!

Summary: You couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. You’d changed, and not in a way you could easily explain. You were tired all the time, running on fumes and sleeping hours on end. The pain had now taken your entire body. You didn't knew you were suffering from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, an incredibly difficult condition to diagnose. Even you as an attending at PTMC, you missed all the signs.

You’d stopped taking care of yourself, letting things slide because it felt like there was no time or energy left for anything else. But then there was your attending, Jack Abbot. The one you’d had a harmless crush on for months, always admiring from a distance. It wasn’t just the sex, though that was undeniable, but his love, his kindness, the way he helped you navigate this difficult path, that meant more than anything.

Word count: 9.5k

Trigger warning: medical setting, blood, swear words, mention of seizures, mature content

Notes: As per the poll results, the story of an attending with a chronic illness was a clear choice! I decided to let the chronic illness unfold slowly, rather than revealing the diagnosis at the start. The reason being, I didn’t want to sexualise the illness or have it feel like Abbot was taking advantage of the situation. I’m not comfortable with that kind of portrayal. Initially, I thought about confirming the diagnosis early on, but I wanted to explore the development of the characters and their relationship more organically. So, in my mind, the story goes: Crush -> becoming close -> intimacy -> diagnosis. This allows the focus to be on their emotional connection as well as the undiagnosed illness. This is the spiciest story I’ve written so far, and a big part of that is because I wanted to challenge the stereotype that people with chronic illness don’t have social lives, relationships, or healthy sex lives. That’s not true, and I hope I’ve managed to show that in this story <3333

🤍🤍

“Morning Dana” you nodded at her. “Robby can I speak with you for a moment?” You asked him.

“Uh what about?”

“In private please.”

“I’m…busy.” His reply was cold.

“You know?” You asked him. No, he wouldn’t betray you like this.

He didn’t react.

“You’re kidding right?”

“About what?” Dana asked.

“HR has summoned me for a meeting to discuss my transfer to the nightshift. And Robby here… knew and didn’t say anything.”

Your heart was pounding in your chest. You were angry.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Dana snapped at him. “Please tell me you’re joking.”

His silence spoke volumes.

“I — “ you rubbed your temples “this is how betrayal feels like Robinavitch. First it was Collins, then Mohan. Now me.”

You didn’t want to talk to him — not wanting to cry in front of someone like him. This betrayal… he knew you were being transferred and didn’t have the balls to say anything.

The symptoms that you have been trying to understand for so long have not been adding up to anything you could think of. Of course you avoided the doctor… doctors make the worst patients after all. You’d been struggling quietly for a while and doing the nightshift would absolutely destroy you.

You walked to the on-call room, tears finally catching up with you. You went inside, left the lights off, and collapsed on the floor and sobbed.

You heard someone move so you froze, put a hand over your mouth so no more sobs escaped. You looked over and saw the prosthetic — oh no, no, no, no!

You slowly got up, tried your best not to make a noise. You needed to get out of here.

“Who upset you?” He said, voice rough because you’d just woken him up.

“Nobody.” You whispered. “Sorry I woke you up.”

“Is it a guy?” He asked quietly.

You stayed quiet.

“Do I know him?” he added, a little more gently this time.

You didn’t respond.

“Oh I do know him.” he said, sitting up and leaning back against the wall. Even in the dark room, you could now make out the outline of his face and shoulders. “Give me a name,” he said, his voice gentle but carrying that unmistakable bossy edge he’d always had.

You bit your lip and shook your head. “It’s not like that.”

“I heard your sobs, it is like that.” He insisted. “You’re clearly heartbroken over some childish guy.”

“I promise you I’m not heartbroken. It’s not like th—” You said through tears.

“Give. Me. The. Name.” He cut in.

“Robinavitch”

“You slept with Robby?” He spat out.

“What!” Your eyes widened. “No!”

“Then what did he do?”

You closed your eyes and took deep breath. “Moved me to the night shift.”

“You’re sobbing because you’re joining my team?” He asked, trying not to smile.

“Dr Abbot I promise you its not like that.” You cried. “I don’t think I can physically do the night shift, and he’d approved the transfer without speaking with me first.”

He let out a small chuckle. Abbot was clearly happy to hear you were joining the night shift. He’d always had a soft spot for you, quietly admiring you from a distance for a long time. You suspected he might feel the same way about you.

“What’s so funny?”

“Come here.”

You sat next to him on the bed, leaning against the wall and looked over at him. “Welcome to the nightshift.”

You shook your head. “I can’t do it.”

“Yes, you can. I’ve seen you work, you an do anything.”

“Not this, no.”

“Why not?” He cleared his throat.

“It’s complicated.”

“I am complicated. I can handle complicated.”

You couldn’t possibly open up to Dr Abbot about your health struggles, it wouldn’t be fair. He had his own problems going on and the last thing he wanted is one of his residents crying and complaining about not sleeping and being in pain.

You shook your head again.

“I will speak with Robby.”

“No, I don’t want to work with him anymore. Not after what he’d done.”

“Okay.” He gave a small smile. He was fighting back a grin.

“You’re smiling.” You whispered.

He gave you a happy nod then the grin finally broke in.

“You’re happy that I am sad?!” You said through tears and laughter.

“Of course not! I’m happy I… I get to have you on my team.” What he would have said was he was happy he gets to see you everyday. ”Do you need a hug?”

“I’m worried I’ll cry even more.”

“Come here.” He pulled you in for a hug and you cried. Not because of the transfer but because of how different you had been these last few weeks. You cried because of the pain that seemed to have taken over your life.

You stayed there in his arms, for a lot longer than you should have.

🤍🤍

The news of your transfer had spread and Robby was in everyone’s bad books. Good you thought. You were gonna miss them all — Mel the most. You were close with her. You appreciated how gentle and kind she was, always a calming presence in the chaos. Her quiet way of making everything seem just a little easier to handle was something you’d definitely miss.

Your first night shift came, and you met with the day shift staff a little earlier than usual. They greeted you with flowers and handed you a coffee cup, the kind with a picture of the aurora you had captured on your last trip to Canada. You couldn’t help but smile, but the lump in your throat grew. You hugged everyone goodbye, and the tears started to fall—so many tears. "I’ll still see you guys! Every morning," you said, trying to steady your voice, but it cracked anyway. You weren't sure if it was the goodbye or the overwhelming kindness, but you felt it all deeply. It was hard to let go, but you knew you’d find comfort in the little moments ahead.

“Well it’s not the same.” Dana let out a cry.

“Can’t believe she’s mine.” Lena said in a teasing tone.

“Robinavitch made a huge fuck up. Welcome to the night shift, starlight.” Abbot added looking at your coffee cup.

Robby gave him the finger.

Your emotional goodbye was interrupted by the first trauma call of the night but you had been put on triage to ease into things, which you appreciated.

Days and weeks passed, and you still couldn’t get used to the night shift. You slept for hours, yet when you dragged yourself into work, you were still bone-tired. The pain in your body was getting worse, and you found yourself relying more on knee support just to make it through the shift. The wrist support, though, was another story. You couldn’t wear it at work, not without people asking questions, and you didn’t want that attention. You did wear it during the day at home; the compressing feeling of it on your joints really helped.

Another shift came, and you found yourself standing outside the ER doors, bracing for what was to come. You slipped off the wrist support, took a deep breath, and stepped inside for rounds.

“You’re with me” Abbot pointed at you. You dropped your bag and followed him into the room.

You started on the intubation and Abbot’s eyes flicked over to your wrist. “What have you done to your hand?”

You whispered, too focused on your task “what?”

You’d finished the intubation and looked over at your wrist and frowned. The first support had left indents. “It’s nothing.”

“You sure?” He didn’t want to push it but also needed to make sure you could use your hands properly.

“I slept funny on it.”

He shot you a look; a look that said I don’t believe you. You remembered to be more careful next time.

🤍🤍

You could only take one type of pain relief: simple analgesia. Anything stronger was off-limits; the risk of side effects was too high, especially with your line of work. So, you lived on coffee, hoping the caffeine would do something, but it didn’t. It only masked the exhaustion for a short while before it crashed back in full force. Fatigue had taken over your life completely.

You barely had an appetite anymore. You were too tired to even think about food. So, you cleared your apartment, leaving only the basics out… less to clean, less to sort through.

Your life became work, sleep, then work again. You needed to pass your residency so quitting wasn’t an option. You rebelled and refused to speak with the doctor. What was the point? You were too scared for them to say there isn’t anything wrong.

“Dinner?” Abbot interrupted your thoughts while charting.

“Sorry?”

“I said there’s dinner in the staff room, I ordered everyone pizza.”

“That’s nice of you. I’ll go grab one in a sec.”

He muttered hmm and walked off. You didn’t have the appetite to eat.

He came back with three slices of pizza and put them on your desk. A drink too. “Take five”.

“Why do you think I need to take five?”

“Because I haven’t see you eat in the last 9 hours…”

“I’ve been busy”

“… for the last 8 shifts” he added. “What is going on?”

“Nothing I just don’t have the appetite.”

“You’ve lost weight” he whispered. “And I know it’s not right to comment on someone’s weight but I’m worried.”

He was right, you had lost weight. You had no energy to cook so you lived in cheap meals. Abbot had been noticing thing more and more with each day that passed.

You took a bite out of the pizza just to end this conversation. He shook his head in concern and walked off. That day you slept in the on call room for the first time, swore you’d never do it again. You were in no state to drive home safely.

🤍🤍

Your shoulder had now given up on you. You woke up screaming in pain, your joint felt like it was being stabbed. You maxed out on pain relief and hoped that you got through the shift alright.

“Hey Whittaker , what have we got?” You met up at the hub at the start of the shift. He took you through the patients quickly and you started rounds. He asked how you were, not entirely sure if it was a question of concern or if he knew something.

“Night shift is kicking my butt.”

“Anyone giving you trouble?”

“No everyone’s… really nice.”

You mind thought of Abbot and how kind he was to you and how your crush seems to be getting bigger and bigger everyday.

“We miss you.”

“Me too, I miss sleeping through the night too. I miss Santos’ jokes, Langdon’s annoying voice, and you.” You shrugged.

“Trauma!” Lena shouted behind the desk. You said goodbye to Whittaker and walked with the paramedics into the room.

You helped lift the patient off the gurney into the bed. “On my count, one two THREE”.

As you put the patient down, everyone heard a click. Everyone’s head snapped in your direction. Your shoulder gotten dislocated… something that had started happening recently.

“I’ll get Ellis to swap.” You said calmly to Shen and Mateo.

You walked out of the room so casually, for someone who just had their shoulder pop out of its joint. Shen was called in and you rushed into the bathroom and took your scrub top off, which was incredibly difficult, to see what damage had been done.

You looked at be mirror and braced yourself for the click back then a knock on the door interrupted. It was the woman’s public bathroom so why the hell was someone knocking?

“Hello?”

“Can I come in?” Abbot asked.

“It’s not a good time.” You said. “Sorry.”

“Please” his voice incredibly gentle.

You let out a defeated okay.

He walked in to find you standing by the mirror, with your bra on, and your shoulder dislocated.

“Fuck. What happened?” He put his hands out, face full of concern. You looked tired and the weight loss had become so noticeable.

“My shoulder popped out but it’s fine I’m used to it.”

“You’re used to it?’” He walked over to you.

Your face flushed red, the heat spreading across your cheeks. It wasn’t the pain that embarrassed you — it was him seeing you like this. Seeing you so worn out, so broken.

“Let me help.“ he walked over to your top, wrapped it on itself. “Open” he gestured to your mouth “bite down” he said. The way in which he said it, while looking down at you was… arousing.

He faced you, put one hand on your forearm, other to steady you and whispered “ready?”

You nodded.

All you heard was a click, and felt your shoulder back in it’s place.

“You didn’t scream in pain, you didn’t react to it which tells me pain is not a stranger to you.” He took the scrub top out of your mouth, grabbed a tissue and wiped the saliva off then helped you put it back on.

You couldn’t look him in the eye and you weren’t going to lie to him. “I need to get checked out I know.”

He nodded. He wiped your tears with the tissue.

“I managed to wrap my fingers around your entire forearm, and more. Talk to me.” He whispered gently.

“I’m just tired that’s all.”

“This isn’t just tiredness.”

Compared to the pain you’d been having, this was nothing. “Can we talk about this another day please? I promise we will talk more.” You tried to sound convincing.

He took a step closer to you.

You put one hand on his hip and gently pulled him in. A movement you didn’t know if you should have done, but risked it anyways.

He didn’t protest it. He laced both his hands through yours, resting his forehead on yours.

“You’re taking a break.“ He whispered.

“My shift just started.” You shook your head.

“And you look like you haven’t slept in three weeks. I don’t want you on the floor if you’re this tired.”

“Please don’t bench me.” You whispered.

“I’m not doing it because I’m mean, I’m doing it because I care about you. I’ll come find you in about an hour or so.” He gently moved his fingers on your hand.

You nodded in defeat. You could do with sleep.

You walked to the on call room, put your head on the pillow and fell into deep sleep.

“Hey, Hun, wake up.” You opened your eyes and found Abbot sitting on the floor next to you. You jumped out of bed, panic taking over you.

“What time is it?”

“It’s okay.”

“Dr Abbot what time is it?” You rubbed your eyes, trying to get them to focus.

“Just take a minute.” He gently put you back on the bed.

“Oh my God I’ve slept through the whole shift?” He had his backpack with him. “You said you were gonna wake me up!”

“And I didn’t because you needed this.”

“I can’t lose out on a sick day!” You cried.

“Who said anything about a sick day? Give me your ID I’ll clock you out and drive you home.”

You were speechless, overwhelmed by his kindness. It was more than you could process in that moment, and for a second, you just sat there, frozen in defeat. You slept through an entire shift? You felt like you had let your whole team down.

Abbot was back within minutes, and gave you the ID back. “Grab your stuff, we’ll grab breakfast on the way.”

“Why are you doing this?” You asked.

“I’m pretty good at reading people and the person I saw at the day shift is a lot different that this one. And this isn’t because of shift change.” He said softly.

You got off the bed and now your ankle had given up. You tried not to limp as you followed Abbot to his car. He grabbed breakfast from a drive through, dropped you off at home — you insisted you’d be okay walking upstairs on your own.

You found your bed, set an alarm, and slept through till the next shift.

Your alarm woke you up, and you felt slightly more refreshed than what had been your normal. You had a shower, freshened up and made it over to work, grabbing a coffee for you and Abbot on the way in.

“Where’s mine?” Robby asked and you shrugged, as you handed the coffee over to Abbot casually.

You’ve been cold with Robby since the change; you’d still not forgiven him and neither had Dana. You gave Mel a hug; she looked like she needed it more than you.

Mel whispered “you okay?”

“Yeah why?”

“You…” she pulled you away from their earshot. “You’ve lost weight, so much weight.”

“I know I know, I don’t know what’s been happening. I can’t eat either.”

“Have you done bloods?”

You shook your head.

“You need to do bloods then book an appointment, I’ll come with you.”

“I’m scared of what they’ll say.”

“Whatever it is we will deal with it okay?” She whispered, and her eyes glancer over at Abbot who was also watching the interaction. “I will see you in the morning.”

“Bye Mel.”

You sat on the desk next to Abbot, logged onto the computer and sipped your coffee. He looked down at your foot and your ankle support was showing slightly. He didn’t comment, not wanting to push anything further, but he took a noticeable deep breath.

“You alright Dr Abbot?” You asked.

“Yeah… just thinking.”

“About what?” You spun your chair towards him.

“About going out for a drink.”

“With the day shift staff? You never come to those.”

“I prefer to spend my days off in silence.”

“Huh.”

“What?” He smiled.

“I thought you’d be a bit of wild one on your day off.”

“A wild one?” He let out a laugh. “Oh no not me. I like to —“

“You two — trauma” Lena snapped her fingers.

You took one more sip of your coffee, tried not to limp and followed Abbot into the chaos.

🤍🤍

You were doing rounds with the day shift staff whom looked like they’d had the worst shift of their lives. You were scared that yours was going to be the same but luckily your night was easy. One of the easiest ones you’ve had in some time. All the staff for once were sat around the hub chatting.

“Right we’re gonna play a game.” Ellis said. “And everyone gotta join in.”

“Nothing too loud please… this is still a hospital.”

“Alright old man.” Ellis snapped back. You let out a laugh and Abbot shot you a look of disappointment. You laughed again then shrugged.

“We’re splitting into teams of two — I’ll be firing out rapid questions.”

“How do we choose partners?” You asked.

“Good question.” She paused.

“I call dibs on Shen!” Lena shouted.

“I take Mateo!” Bridget joined in.

Abbot put his hands up in the air and whispered “what the fuck?”

“It’s me and you old man” you joked as he rolled his eyes at your comment.

You moved your stool next to his. He looked at you and smiled, looking a bit too happy to be with you.

“First round is pop quiz.”

“This is where you come in” he quickly whispered to you.

“I’ll ask the question first one to answer wins. No shouting though so gotta whisper.”

“First question — female singer, has a famous song called positions.”

You remembered who she was and what she looked like but her name was… gone.

Bridget whispered Ariana grande.

“British pop band — 5 members.”

You were obsessed with them when you were younger, but their name was also… gone.

You cleared your throat at the weird feeling of not remembering… much.

“We’re doing terribly.” Abbot whispered.

Ellis fired more questions at everyone; Shen knew way too much about pop music, and Bridget was also on fire.

You weren’t able to answer one single question despite the answers being on the tip of your tongue. It was like you’d forgotten… everything. You were pressing your finger nails into your palms so hard, you didn’t notice cutting yourself.

Abbot glanced over at your hands and noticed how uncomfortable you were. He put his hand under your stool and moved you over to him. “Wanna go somewhere else?” He whispered.

You nodded.

“Hey we’re out” he said. “Duty calls.”

“Only because you’re losing!” Shen bit back jokingly.

“Where are we going?”

“Paeds”

“Why? it’s empty?”

You followed him into the empty room.

“On the bed please.” He said.

You protested. “What is this?” You were taken aback by this. Was it an interrogation?

“Hun you’re bleeding.”

You looked down “What? Where?” Did your period come on suddenly? You haven’t had a cycle in months. Then you noticed your palms were cut.

He put gloves on and walked over with alcohol swaps, sitting on a stool opposite you. He put his palm out and rested your on top of it. He cleaned it, luckily it was only small, and put liquid plaster on top to close the wound.

“Sorry we lost.” You whispered.

“How does Shen know so much about pop culture?” He asked casually, not wanting go question why you cut yourself, and why you ere so uncomfortable out there.

“He is what youngsters call him as.. a basic bitch.” You let out a laugh.

“Youngsters huh? That’s the second dig at my age.” He joked, as he swapped to other hand.

“Sorry… you’re just the oldest and—“

“And the wisest. And the most experienced.” He added, trying to sound offended but it came out more flirty than anything. You liked it.

“You’re gonna ask aren’t you?”

He shook his head. “Not unless you have something to tell me?”

“Not at the moment no.”

“But when something comes up…?”

“You’ll be the first to know I promise.” You met his eyes, his beautiful blue eyes. How did he manage to look this good every single shift?

You unintentionally licked your lips as you looked over at his then quickly snapped out of it.

“Shall we return to the chaos?”

He nodded. “I fancy… Chinese food. Shall I order us some?”

You shook your head.

“What do you want then?”

“Depends… Are you paying?”

“Of course I’ll pay for it.”

“Sushi then.”

He let out a laugh, and rested both hands on your legs. You leaned in and gently bushed your hands against his cheek. “Thanks handsome.”

“Anytime sweetheart.” He whispered.

By the time the morning came, you were too tired to go home. You had spare clothes in your bag, so you snuck into the on call room and fell asleep there.

And that became a habit. You figured less time commuting, more time in bed. Abbot was respectful into not asking questions about you, despite him noticing more and more red flags. He didn’t know you’d been sleeping in the hospital. Mel was on your case about booking a doctors appointment.

After a long and exhausting shift, you found the on call bed and as you tried to fall into deep sleep, the door swung open.

“Sorry occupied.” You said as you turned around.

“Sorry didn’t know you were in here.” Abbot quickly said. “What are you doing here? You’re not pulling a double are you? He asked.”

“Are you?”

He nodded. “Just as back up.”

“I’m not. I just… I was too tired to go home so I slept here.”

He let out a defeated exhale.

“I’ll go home, you take the bed.”

“No of course not. I’ll find another bed.” He said.

“Abbot please. You’re working and I’m not. Please.”

“How tired are you?”

“I’m fine honestly. I can drive.” You got up and as you did you felt like the bed shifted underneath you — a very weird sensation. Maybe your blood pressure dropped? You sat back on the bed and cleared your throat. “Maybe I am tired.”

You itched the back of your neck nervously as you got back to bed and pushed yourself against the wall. “Room for one more, old man.”

“You gotta stop calling me that!” He snapped jokingly as he took his shoes off.

“If I’m gonna sleep in here I’m sorry but I can’t sleep in scrubs. I don’t know how you do it.” He said.

“Please tell me you don’t sleep naked?” You asked.

He shrugged.

“Ew what!”

“Whats wrong with that?”

“What if something crawled… in there.”

“I don’t sleep in a bed full of spiders!” He said as he took his top off. “But I wont sleep naked in there. That would be…”

Sexy as hell you thought.

“… a step too far.”

He put on a black top, took his trousers off, then the prosthetic and got in bed.

You faced each other. He brushed his hand through your hair gently. You moved your hand under his top and rested it on his side. You were fighting sleep, trying your best to stay awake.

But you wanted him, here, now.

“You’re beautiful.” He whispered as he moved closer to you.

“I feel beautiful when you look at me like that.” you replied softly, your heart fluttering at the way his eyes held yours. Your hand wanted to wander lower, to explore the warmth of his skin and feel how much he still wanted you… but you respectfully stopped yourself. Instead, you curled your fingers gently against his side, holding back even as desire rushed through your body.

He noticed. Of course he did. His thumb brushed tenderly across your cheek as he leaned in, pressing a slow, lingering kiss to your forehead. “Get some rest, love,” he murmured against your skin. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

You mumbled “good night handsome” as you turned to face the wall then closed your eyes.

You woke up to Abbots arms around you. You took a sip of water and checked the time — just after 3 am and he’s still in there. It must be quiet out there.

You felt him move like he was about to wake up. “Go back to sleep.” You whispered.

He nodded sleepily, his eyes still half-closed, and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer until your bodies were pressed together. He placed a gentle, lingering kiss on your shoulder, his lips warm against your skin, before letting out a quiet, contented sigh and drifting back to sleep.

🤍🤍

You and Abbot hadn’t spoken about what happened that night in the on-call room, but the tension between you was impossible to ignore. Stolen glances lingered a second too long. Hands brushed when you passed each other in the hallway. The way you spoke to one another had shifted too…softer, warmer, full of quiet care. He started bringing you your favourite meals and you began surprising him with coffee everyday.

You were getting ready to go over to the bar to meet with the day shift staff — your shift finally aligning with theirs. You put on a short dress, a light jacket over it, and sneakers. You hoped Abbot would be there; it would be nice to see him outside work.

You made it over to the bar despite your joints protesting. You knew that it wouldn’t be wise to drink so you opted for soft drinks.

You caught up with Santos and Whittaker, Robby also joined at some point along with other staff. Mel didn’t come — it wasn’t her sort of thing. You made sure to send her a miss you text.

“Right next game” Santos said. “Kiss, marry, kill.”

“Heyyyy just in time.” Robby added as Abbot walked over to the table. “Things were about to get… spicy.”

You couldn’t help but smile and blush at the sight of him.

“Robby: kiss marry kill. Dana, Al-hashimi or…our starlight.” She pointed at you.

He let out a nervous laugh.

You’d kill him if it was your turn.

“I would… kiss Dana, kill Al-hashimi and marry you.”

He turned around to you and you met his eyes with a surprised look. The heck?

“Interesting choices Robby… Okay onto you” She faced you. “Robby, Abbot or Whittaker.”

“Kill Robby!” You said quickly and everyone laughed. “Marry Abbot and kiss Whittaker.”

“Aww thanks”: Whittaker said and you winked at him.

Drinks were flowing, and everyone seemed lost in their own conversations, the noise around you growing louder as the night went on. You were running on pure sugar, but you could feel the inevitable crash coming. It was only a matter of time.You excused yourself, slipping away to the bathroom for a break. Closing the door behind you, you put the seat down and sat on the toilet, trying to take a moment to collect yourself.

Before you could even settle, a group of girls burst in, shrieking and laughing. You sighed, knowing you’d have to wait until they left. The headache that had been building was starting to tighten around your temples. You slid off the toilet and sank to the floor, curling up just a little, hoping the noise would die down soon enough so you could regain a bit of composure.

Abbot had noticed you were gone for some time but didn’t want to make it too obvious that he’d noticed. He looked around the bar and couldn’t see you.

“Hey Santos, do you think you can check on her?” Abbot whispered.

“She’s been gone a while.” She frowned. “I’ll go check the bathroom.”

She walked into the bathroom and started knocking on doors. She called your name, no one answered. “Weird.” She said.

She crouched onto the floor and looked under the door, and saw your legs.

“Hey!” She banged on the door. “Wake up!” You weren’t waking up. She tried to climb over the door but she was way too drunk.

She walked back out with a worried look on her face. “She uhhh she’s passed out in the toilet.”

“What?” Abbot kicked his chair back and rushed into the women’s toilet, Santos and Robby followed, and someone also called security over.

“Hey wake up!” He was banging on the door in a panic.

“We’ve got a master key one sec.” Security said before running off.

“She must have had too much to drink.” Santos said.

“She hasn’t been drinking any alcohol.” Abbot snapped back.

Security managed to open the door, Abbot asked Santos and Robby to wait outside so you an have some privacy.

Abbot managed to pull you from the floor onto the toilet seat. “Hey sweetheart wake up.” He gently slapped your cheek. “Wake up for me.”

“Shall I call for an ambulance?” Security asked.

“Not yet no. Give her a minute.”

You woke up to Abbot in the toilet with you. Panic set in — it was seconds ago the girls were in here.

“What happened? Hey hun what happened?”

“I don’t remember.” you looked around, confused. “What did happen?”

“Do you feel dizzy, drunk or high?” He asked.

“I — I promise I’m not drunk. I haven’t drank a sip of alcohol.” You were frowning, trying to make sense of this.

“I know hun, I know you’re sober but maybe someone gave you something. Do you feel high?”

“No, no Im positive I’m sober. From drugs or alcohol. I promise you.”

“Okay let’s get you home.”

You washed your face with cold water trying to wake yourself up. Abbot drove you home, silence followed you the whole way. You were more embarrassed than anything. And also concerned.

He insisted he’d come in and you didn’t protest. He helped you up the stairs, one hand wrapped around you the whole time. He walked into your apartment and scanned it. It looked like a ghost had lived here. There were no plates out, no cups, not even food. Everything was clean and… sterile.

It looked like the house of someone who was in survival mode.

“I think I’m gonna head to bed Abbot.” You pointed at the bedroom.

“Okay hun I’ll crash on the sofa.”

You shook your head. You grabbed his hand and he followed you into the bedroom.

You sat on the bed and took your clothes off slowly, joints protesting with every moments. Your eyes were forcing themselves shut with every movement you made.

“I’ll help.” He whispered. He helped you take off your clothes, and put your pjs on you.

His face was full of worry, watching you wash away without knowing why. He moved you to bed and pulled the duvet cover over you.

“Good night my sweetheart.” He kissed your temples and walked back into the lounge.

You woke up a few hours after and he wasn’t in bed with you — you wondered if he had left? You slowly got out of bed and went into the lounge.

“Abbot?” You asked, your voice had still not woken up “what are you doing up.”

“Heyyy. I uhhh.. I couldn’t sleep.”

“Sorry was I snoring?”

“No hun I didn’t even make it to bed.”

You sat on the sofa next to him. “What’s wrong?”

He rubbed his beard and let out a nervous smile. “Nothing I… uh.. I don’t want to push it.”

“You won’t be pushing anything.”

“I am worried about you.”

“I am worried about me, too.” You shrugged. “I sleep so much and I can’t seem to keep weight on. My memory is uh… questionable.” You paused. “It hasn’t affected me at work I promise.”

“Sweetheart I don’t give a shit about work.”

“But I don’t know what’s going on. And I know I keep saying I will speak to somebody but I promise you I will.”

“But when hun? When will that be? Weeks of watching you just…fade away. Your apartment looks like you don’t even live here.”

You shrugged. “I don’t.”

“What?”

“I sleep in the on call room most nights.”

You rubbed his face with his hands trying to make sense of this. He felt like he’d failed you, not noticing any of this earlier, not doing anything about it.

“You’re worried about me?” You asked.

“Of course I am!”

You blushed. “I’ve had the biggest crush on you since forever.” You added quietly.

He couldn’t help but lean in. “I think my crush is much bigger and has been around for a lot longer.”

You moved over to him, and sat on top of him, letting your legs straddle him. “Kiss marry kill.”

He let out a laugh.

“I'm waiting.”

“Not fair.” He whispered.

You leaned into him some more and he closed his eyes.

“Marry you, kiss you and kill Robby for even thinking he had the chance to marry you.”

“Oh yeah?” You whispered.

“But you said you’d kiss Whittaker which i’m still not happy about.”

You put your hands on his neck and leaned in. “Oh they didn’t give me another option.”

You moved from him slightly then sat back down, a movement that took his breath away.

“How can I make it up to you?” You asked.

“I can think of a few options… but only if you’re feeling up for it.”

You leaned in and kissed him deeply, pouring into it all the longing you'd carried for so long. He answered with a hungry, powerful kiss that made your pulse race. You could already feel him hard beneath you, aching for you just as badly. His hand slowly slid up your thigh until his fingers brushed between your legs.

“May I?” he whispered against your lips.

You let out a soft, breathless chuckle at his unexpected politeness. You nodded, barely breaking the kiss.

He slipped two fingers inside you, and a loud moan came out as your head fell back in pleasure. He let you take control, rocking and riding his fingers until your legs trembled and you collapsed onto his chest, breathless and shaking.

He pressed a lingering kiss to your temple, then another to your forehead, his lips soft. “God… I’ve dreamed of this,” he whispered, voice low and full of emotion. “Holding you like this… feeling you fall apart in my arms.” You lifted your head just enough to meet his eyes. He brushed a strand of hair from your face with such care it made your chest ache. He kissed you again, slow and deep, pouring every unspoken feeling into it.

When he pulled back, his forehead rested gently against yours. “I love the way you sound… the way you feel,” he said softly, his thumb tracing your lower lip. “But I want more than this tonight. I want all of you.”

Your heart swelled. You whispered against his mouth, “I want you too.”

He closed his eyes for a moment, a quiet sigh leaving him. When he opened them again, the longing was still there, but so was a gentle resolve. “Not tonight,” he murmured, voice soft but firm. He pressed a tender kiss to your lips, then another to the corner of your mouth.

“Why not?” You asked.

“Only when you’re better.”

“I am feeling so much better already.” You whispered, and you truly were feeling better.

You kissed him again and then your hands found his trousers. He let out a low, ragged groan as your fingers worked the button of his trousers open, then dragged the zipper down. His hand caught your wrist gently but firmly before you could go further. “Fuck…” The word slipped out like a prayer and a curse at once.

“I promise you I am okay” you whispered. “I’ve wanted this… for a long time.”

His grip on your wrist loosened, and you took that as permission.

You pushed his trousers and boxers down just enough to free him. His cock sprang up, thick and heavy.

“You’re so hard for me,” you murmured, kissing the corner of his mouth.

He cupped your face with both hands, thumbs stroking your cheeks as he looked at you “Always,” he breathed. “Only for you.”

You shifted, straddling his hips properly now, your soaked core hovering just above him.

“Are you sure?” he asked one last time, voice rough. “Tell me you’re sure.”

“I’m sure,” you answered, sinking down just enough for the head to breach you. “I promise you I am one million percent sure.”

A broken moan tore from both of you as you slowly lowered yourself onto him, taking him inch by inch. When your hips finally met his, you both stilled, trembling. His hands gripped your waist, not guiding, just holding you like you were something precious.

You started to move, rolling your hips in slow, deep circles at first, then rising and sinking with more purpose. Each thrust dragged him against that perfect spot inside you, sending sparks of pleasure shooting through your body. His head fell back against the pillows, eyes half open as he watched you ride him. He sat up, wrapping one arm around your back to pull you flush against his chest, the new angle making him hit even deeper. His mouth found your neck, sucking and biting gently as you rode him harder. “Fuck” he whispered against your skin between kisses. “Come for me again,” he urged, voice low and commanding now.

That was all it took. Your orgasm crashed over you hard as you cried out, body shaking in his arms. Only when you started to come down did he let himself go. You both collapsed together, breathless and tangled. He stayed buried inside you as he stroked your back, pressing soft kisses to your shoulder, your neck, your temple.

He pulled you closer, tucking your head beneath his chin, his arms wrapping around you protectively. “Mine,” he whispered against your skin, voice full of awe and satisfaction. “You’re finally mine.”

He pulled a blanket over you.

“Good night handsome.” You said.

“Good night my love.”

You woke up on the sofa and Abbot wasn’t with you. You smelt something… was it breakfast? You looked over and found Abbot humming to himself in the kitchen. He had his jeans on from last night but no t-shirt.

You would have loved a repeat of last night’s events.

“Well if it isn’t my favourite face.” You said to him.

“You’re up!” He said excitedly. “I made breakfast.”

“I can see that… I don’t have any of the ingredients for breakfast though.”

He walked over and gave you a quick peck on the forehead.

“God bless the delivery services.” He said before putting his t-shirt back on.

“Oh I was enjoying that!” You protested and he raised an eyebrow at you.

“You working tonight?” You asked.

He nodded as he sat down next to you.

“Me too.”

“I know.” He teased.

“You know my schedule?” You asked.

“Of course I do! Why do you think you never have to present to Shen or Henderson?”

Your jaw dropped wide open. “Seriously? This whole time?”

He nodded. “I couldn’t have anyone else putting any unnecessary pressure on you.”

“You didn’t have anything to do with my transfer did you?”

“No, no. I promise you that wasn’t me.” He grinned. “But I can’t tell youhow happy I was when you told me.”

“Sorry I sobbed my way through telling you the news.”

“It worked out perfectly in the end.” He brushed his hand through your hair. “You feeling better?”

“I am yeah. I’m still tired, everything hurts but—“ you mentioned the pain, he didn’t know about the pain.

“Did I hurt you?”

“No baby it wasn’t you."

“How long has it been hurting for?”

“Months.”

“What else?”

“I’ve lost weight as everyone knows, but I have no appetite. My joints ache, my shoulder keeps popping out and… just headaches.”

His mind was scanning for answers.

“It could be anything I know.” You whispered. “I’m booking a doctors appointment today. I promise.”

“Please keep me updated?”

You nodded. “You can come with me if you want?”

“I would love that.” You gave you a peck and attended back to breakfast.

You had breakfast on the sofa, put on a movie and sunk into his arms. As you were starting to fall asleep, Abbot said he’d needed to go home and change but he would be back to pick you up. He set an alarm on your phone, kissed you goodbye, leaving you on the sofa to go back to sleep.

You and Abbot walked through the ER doors together, coffee and food in hand. Abbot grabbed everyone food on the way in.

“Got the goods” he said holding a big bag of food.

The day shift approached him.

“Nope not for you vultures.” He gave the bag to the night shift staff and heard a few c’monnnn.

You laughed and shook your head.

Your night was easy apart from one elderly lady who kept leaving her bed for a wander. “Mrs Prue I told you, you are going to fall and I don’t like broken bones so please go back to your bed.” You said to her before ushering her back to bed.

You groaned as you walked back to the desk.

“Long night?” Lena asked.

“Is it ever ending?” You asked as you put your head down on the desk. You couldn’t risk falling asleep so you kept your eye open.

Abbot found you by the desk and gave you a quick brush on your back. “Hey”

“Hey you.”

“I’ve booked a doctor’s appointment for next week.” You said gently.

“Proud of you. How’s your night so far?” He asked gently as he leaned in, desperately wanting to steal a kiss.

“Long, tiring. But I’m looking forwards to it ending.”

“Oh yeah?” He leaned in a bit more. “Why?” He looked at your lips.

“I… have plans.” You gently put your hand on his thigh hoping no one would notice.

He cleared his throat. “Is your night easy so far?”

You nodded gently.

“Meet me in the on call room in two?” He leaned in a bit more.

A shudder passed through your chest as you struggled to steady your breath.

“Oh she’s out again.” Lena was walking back toward both of you, and in an instant, you and he both moved away from each other, scrambling to put some space between you.

"You kidding me right?” You looked up to see Mrs Prue out of her bed. You got off the chair quickly and shouted “Mrs Prue!”.

The sudden movement of standing up made your head spin, a wave of dizziness hitting you hard. You took a few steps forward, but your legs felt unsteady, like you’d been drinking too much. Then, everything blurred, and the next thing you remembered was the cold, unforgiving floor rushing up to meet you as you fell face-first, everything going dark.

A scream of terror escaped Lena as she watched you convulse.

Abbot’s head snapped in your direction, saw you on the floor seizing with blood pooling under your face. For less than a second, his body refused to move.

Ellis and Henderson were by your side quicker than he was.

“Grab a crash cart!” Ellis screamed.

The convulsions stopped few seconds later, Henderson turned you over and blood was pouring out of your nose.

Lena fell to the floor and sobbed as she watched you lay there lifeless.

Abbot on the other hand was by your side, listening to your heartbeat. Steady but weak.

Henderson gently picked you up and laid you on the bed in the trauma room. It wasn’t meant to offend Abbot, but Henderson knew his limitations, especially with his leg. He moved quickly and efficiently, doing it so smoothly that it wasn’t obvious to anyone around.

A few seconds later, you blinked your eyes open. You were too weak to say anything or even move. Your body felt like it was made of lead, and all you could do was lie there, your chest rising and falling with shallow breaths. Panic began to creep in as you looked around the room, your eyes wide with terror. You could smell and taste blood.

“Get Neurology down here now please.” Henderson said; a gentle confirmation to Abbot that he has now taken over the case.

You heard the frantic voices around you, the rapid beeping of monitors as they were attached to you. Every sound felt muffled, distant, like you were submerged in water. Your scrubs were being cut open, the fabric tearing away, leaving you exposed—skin and bones.

“Abbot?” Ellis said. “Talk to her.”

He shook his head. Abbot was trying to work on you too but the shaking of his hands gave him away. That is why the number one rule in medicine is you don’t work on your loved ones.

She whispered “it’s okay, we’ve got her. Talk to her she will feel calmer listening to your voice.”

Another gentle confirmation from his colleague that she could see the love in his eyes, but also fear.

He grabbed a stool and sat by your head. “Will it help if I told you what everyone was doing?”

You weakly nodded.

He put his hand on top of yours, another hand brushing through your hair. “Henderson is running an ECG and Ellis is looking at your blood pressure. Mateo over here is about to apply an ice pack to your nose so the bleeding can stop.”

A tear rolled down your face.

“Neurology is on their way down sweetheart. Hold in for just a few more minutes.”

Another nod.

“Did you enjoy breakfast this morning?” He asked softly.

“It was a bit burnt.” You whispered through the pain.

“I’ll make it better tomorrow.” He whispered back.

You let your tears run. Will there be a tomorrow?

“Do you remember what happened?” His voice was gently, trying his best not to let it break.

“I went really dizzy and then everything went black.” You turned around to face him. “What did happen?”

“You fell face down on your nose and by the looks of it, it doesn’t seem broken.” He paused. “But sweetheart you had a seizure.”

You spat out through tears “what?”

He nodded.

“Did I lose bladder control?”

“What?” He asked.

“Abbot did I piss myself?”

“No hun.”

“Did I wake up straight after?” You asked again.

“Yeah you came around pretty quickly.”

In your mind you were trying to eliminate epilepsy and Abbot did the same. You both knew that with epileptic seizures, typically the patient loses bladder control and also would go into deep sleep. Neither have happened to you. But he couldn’t assure you that it wasn’t this. He didn’t know.

“How are the stats looking?” You said quietly.

“Blood pressure is low, heart rate is okay. Mateo is about to take bloods and Ellis will be running an ECG.” He looked around at everyone — they all looked scared, terrified even. Working on a colleague is never easy.

“Do you want some pain relief?” He asked.

You shook your head. “It’s okay.”

You could see his eyes glossing over, like he was about to cry. “Oh Abbot it’s okay.” You tried to reassure him.

You wanted to squeeze his hand but couldn’t.

He rested his head next to yours, hiding his eyes from everyone. You closed your eyes and let tears run through his hair.

“Neuro is here.” Ellis interrupted.

Neurology ran through their checks and sent you for different types of scans, blood tests, more scans and more assessments. Hours passed and still no closure to knowing what happened.

You stayed in the ER, refused to be moved upstairs. You wanted to be close to everyone, especially Abbot as you could see how much this was weighing him down.

You managed to get out of bed, grabbed your IV pole and walked over to Lena.

“No no!” She shouted as she ran over to you. “Back to bed!”

“I’m so bored in there Lena. Please can I sit with you?”

She shook her head and looked away from you, a small sob came out.

“Hey Leens come here.” You hugged her from the side. “I am okay.”

“No you’re not.” She wiped her nose. “I saw you seize on the floor and there was nothing I can do.”

You couldn’t say anything back to that. It was truly a traumatic thing to see someone seize. “Come here.” You pulled her in for another hug.

“And you shouldn’t be out of bed.” Abbot said from behind.

“Sorry doc.” You shrugged. “it’s so boring in there.”

“Want me to give you a case?” He asked and Lena shot him a look.

“Yes please?”

“Come with me.” He helped you back to your room, and attached all the monitors back onto you.

He cleared his throat and grabbed his iPad, pretended to read off a case. “Male in his 50s. Fast heart rate, no high blood pressure. He sometimes goes a bit dizzy in certain situations.”

“What sort of situations?” You asked curiously.

“When he is around… certain people.”

“Okay… like what?” Abbot was presenting this case terribly you thought.

“Like for example… during a game of…kiss marry kill.”

You frowned. “You’re confusing me baby.”

He let out a huff — he was failing miserably at this.

And then it clicked for you.

“Sounds like your patient is in love.”

“Oh yeah? What makes you say that?” He asked.

You took the pulse oximeter off and put it on his finger. You moved over to him gently and kissed him slow. You brushed your hand through his hair and pulled him even closer. He was hesitating, not wanting to push this. Not when you’re like this. The heart rate on the monitor started beeping. You grabbed his hand and put it around your waist. Heart rate went even higher. Your hand slowly slid down his chest, over the firm planes of his stomach, until your fingers found his erection. “Baby…” he whispered, voice strained with the effort it took to hold back. His hand covered yours, not stopping you, but gentling your movement. “As much as I don’t want you to ever stop… we can’t do it. Not here and only when you’re better.”

The machine had now started beeping loudly so he took the oximeter off, trying to catch his breath.

You kissed him gently one more time, you liked being in control. It was fun. “So how do we treat your patient?” You asked casually.

He let out a small laugh, still trying to catch his breath. He rested his face against the bed and you brushed your fingers through his hair.

“Thats the problem… he’s refusing treatment. He doesn’t ever want to stop being in love.”

“I love you too Abbot.” You whispered at him.

The neurologist knocked on the door and Abbot’s head shot up. He was back in attending mode.

Neuro explained it was convulsive syncope and not a seizure, just like you thought. It was a form of an aggressive fainting episode, terrifying to witness and experience but typically harmless.

“Based on the symptoms that Abbot described and what you’d mentioned…” The neurologist was standing by the end of your bed “… your symptoms fit in with chronic fatigue syndrome. Your bloods were clear as well as imagine. Your symptoms fit the criteria perfectly.” He assured you.

It wasn’t much of a reassurance. You shook your head and cried. “No, run the tests again.”

“It’s not a death sentence” he added and you shook your head again.

You spat out “No. There is no treatment, I have to be on pain relief for the rest of my life. I won’t be able to work or stay up long hours. No!” You screamed at him.

Your screams made Ellis walk out of the room, as she wasn’t able to hold back her own. She watched her friend be given a diagnosis.. a label, for an illness so severe she may never finish her residency.

The neurologist looked defeated.

“I have to work, I have to finish my residency. I have dreams! This is my dream!” You cried.

You didn’t mean to scream at him.

“I am sorry it wasn’t any other news, I truly am.” He said gently. “But work will have to make adjustments for you. There is zero shame in taking pain relief, physical therapy will help, supplemental foods will help bring your weight up.”

You were still shaking your head. This could not be happening.

“You are certain it’s nothing else? Abbot asked, fighting through his own tears.

The neurologist nodded. “Positive.”

“Thank you.” He said. Everyone left the room, and Abbot joined you on the bed, put his arms around you and watched you fall back to sleep while you sobbed.

Morning came around ad the day shift staff heard what happened. They all popped in to say hello. Mel looked heartbroken. You tried to reassure her that you were fine but she was too overwhelmed to understand the situation.

Abbot agreed to get you discharged. He helped you put on some clothes that Mel brought over.

“Come with me.” He said, taking you into the staff room where your colleagues waited for you.

“What’s this?” You asked looking around at everyone.

“We came up with a plan.” Ellis added.

“A very good one I would say.” Whittaker said.

“A plan for what?”

“To help you of course.” Mel said.

You looked Abbot not believing what you were seeing.

“For you to finish your residency you have to do minimum of 10 hour shifts correct?” Whittaker said excitedly.

You nodded.

“So to get through it, you will be working just over half way through the day, and through some of the nights.” He added.

“What do you mean?

“It works in everyone’s favour trust me.” Ellis added. “You start work at 5pm, work till 10pm, which gives you time to do some of the day shift, catch up on their patients, then work through the night. It means less time for handover too because you would be familia with what is happening.”

You nodded, still in shock and tried to comprehend what was happening.

She continued. “Then, you go to bed in the on call room or what another 5 hours? You’re up by 3am, work till 8am. Boom 10 hours done.”

“Just in time for us to go home.” Abbot added as he pulled you towards him.

“More time at the hospital but… shorter shifts with more breaks.” Mel added quietly.

“I can’t ask you to do that?” You were shaking your head. “That’s too much.”

“We would rather do this than lose you.” Robby added.

“And I would rather be here with you.” You smiled, tears covering your cheeks.

As your eyes slowly scanned each face around you, you realised something. Despite the chaos and the fear, you suddenly realised just how much love there was in this world. How much kindness was all around you, even in the most unexpected places.

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