Not for the Faint of Heart

27. Florida -> North Carolina. The name is Kayla. "I was a child and she was a child, In this kingdom by the sea; But we loved with a love that was more than love- I and my Annabel Lee"

[afireforadventure]

I used to love memories and be so afraid of losing them. But these days, the memories just make me sad.

[afireforadventure]

2/3/19

Everything seems to be falling onto place

Even if it doesn't feel that way sometimes.

I couldn't ask for a better partner in life.

I'm not married to him yet.

But it feels like it sometimes.

We fight. We love.

He has a child and now I do too.

I never thought this is what my life would turn out to be.

But there's definitely not any other way I could hope to go.

In his arms and with his love, I am the best version of me. I am anything and anyone I want to be when he is by my side.

[dailystrangerthings]

[we-were-inevitably-inlove-deact]

Some nights I wish I could take it all back; my kisses, my sex, my love, my time, my adoring admiration for you…  all of it. But there will forever be a part of me that will never regret you because, at one point in my life, you were everything I ever wanted and were exactly what I needed.

I’m thankful for the 3 years we had (via we-were-inevitably-inlove)

[afireforadventure]

You ever just get tired of living?

You ever just get tired of living? Like waking up everyday is exhausting. Struggling to make a living is exhausting. Stress and worry keep creeping up no matter how positive you try to be. My soul is so tired and nothing I do seems to help. I really have nothing that keeps me excited to keep going. I don't really have a reason to wake up every morning except for the fact that I don't want people to be sad that I'm not here anymore. I'm just so tired of being alive but there's nothing I can do except suffer in silence. Sure it might get better, but when? When I'm 30? 40? I'm not sure if it's worth that wait...but what choice do I really have.

[afireforadventure]

I hate you for making me feel like this....

But I don't and I wish I could.

[iglovequotes]

http://iglovequotes.net/

[afireforadventure]

Always stay positive even when everything has been going wrong. Time changes everything.

[afireforadventure]

I'm really trying.

I make my own life harder by the mistakes that I make. I don't need you to make me feel worse. I need someone to hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay. I'm lost and I don't know how to get out of this slump. I can feel myself bottling things up again. I can feel me isolating myself because I don't know who to talk to. I'm more quiet than ever because I'm so scared people will take me the wrong way. Even my roommate/best friend isn't someone I can talk to right now because all she does is say 'I told you so". Not to mention the fact that I never see her anymore. I know I'm fucking up. I recognized it less than 24 hours ago. I'm trying. I'm TRYING. I'm trying to be me, but my soul is exhausted and frankly it's hurt. All I can think about is the next escape. The next time I can drown out my thoughts and the depression I feel every morning when I wake up. I'm tired of feeling like I'm alone. She was right though. I am lonely, but not for a man. I'm lonely because my best friend doesn't feel like my best friend anymore. I'm lonely because I feel like I have no one who understands how hard I'm trying. And how hard I've been working to make a living.

[afireforadventure]

It's a first.

I've been stoned for almost 48 hours straight. At work. At home. With friends. I've been stoned and I have never felt more normal. I have never felt so relaxed. I'm level headed and quiet. I'm observant and I'm outgoing when I need to be. I'm not anxious. It's so nice.

[afireforadventure]

If I bleed, I'm still alive

[afireforadventure]

If I die today, just know it's from a broken heart.

[afireforadventure]

I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. The house I've been in since December is being ripped away from me. I'm financially struggling, and I have no money to afford a new place. I don't know what to do. I don't want to leave North Carolina. I don't want to leave Havelock and my job that I'm just starting to get good at and I love. But I have no options except for one. Move to Georgia. The plus is the house is very very nice and it's 1 hour 1/2 away from Tallahassee where my brother is. And is 4 hours away from Pace where my dad and other friends are. It's basically my only option right now. But I'm not ready to leave. I don't want my time here to be cut short. But my hands are tied and it breaks my heart.

[afireforadventure]

Ruger at now (4 months) vs. When I first brought him home (6 weeks) 😍😘

[panajan]

[feedmetothelionsseymore]

March 21, 2014

Walking down this path, To nowhere in particular, There’s a fork in this road.

To the left a forest. I can hear the tropical birds. I can see the blooming flowers And the lush greenery. I can feel the pull of the jungle. But where there’s a jungle, There is also many obstacles. I will, no doubt, fall down. I will get hurt. But is it worth it to go anyway? To see the beauty. To feel the wilderness under my feet. To feel the heat.

To the right an open road. No sights. No beauty. There’s nothing as far as I can see. It has no obstacles. It would be an easier journey. I wouldn’t fall down Unless from my own feet. It would be hard To leave the beauty of the forest Behind me. It would be hard To not look back and long for it. It would be a lonely journey.

So this is where I stand. At the fork in the road. Trying to decide Do I take the right? I wouldn’t get hurt nearly as much. But I wouldn’t get to see the beauty. Or do I go left? I would get to see the beauty, But I might not make it out in one piece.

[afireforadventure]

Oh how a full circle had come.

[markv5]

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