What do u see in me? I feel inadequate. Lacking. Not good enough. Not that I feel unworthy of you, just unworthy in general. I want to retreat into my shell and hide. Cover myself, shield my imperfections. I feel flawed and unlovable. Every time you say you love me I want to gag and tell you to screw off, you donāt know what youāre talking about no one can love me, not even myself. I try to cherish every hug, every time he holds my hand, each breath I take when Iām with him, for I know nothing lasts. I ponder the question of who the next girl he falls for will be, what sheāll look like, if sheāll be anything like me. What the reason is weāll break up & when? What Iāll be doing this time next year and how this will be a memory and my heart will ache for my loss. I hate that I cannot stop my feelings. I hate that I have no control. I hate the way he makes me feel, breathless, speechless, yet so dumbfounded and like Iām about to be wounded real badly. I canāt decide if heās my enemy or friend; if I donāt trust him and want to push him away, or pull him closer. Either way, I want to figure him out. He completely captivated me from the minute I laid eyes on him, and till this very day there never fails to be moments when I am mesmerized by him. I donāt know if this is my addiction to drama, wanting to chase things, longing for what I canāt have, creating images in my head that arenāt real, but I do know that without a doubt, he has come into my life to be a mirror, to teach me things about myself & go into those places I dare not to explore. I stare into his eyes, trying to think of whatās inside. He stares at me and I quiver. I look away, not wanting him to look at me, I feel like a child again. He doesnāt know what he is looking at. I have many faces, but who am I really? I couldnāt even tell you
areudirty
germansingergirl
snowghoul
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dailybridgerton
turnnoffyourmind
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