F.U.B.U.

“There's always someone asking you to underline one piece of yourself - whether it's Black, woman, mother, dyke, teacher, etc. - because that's the piece that they need to key in to. They want to dismiss everything else.” ― Audre Lorde

[afyanla-blog]

Day 42 is that you?

My last post much like the rest of my posts will have absolutely nothing to do with the content of my paper. Instead, I want to dedicate this post to recount my experience in the Quarles. I came in knowing that I would have to work hard thinking that I would just be writing and researching for the entire 6 weeks. I did not believe that the day trips we took and even the research I did would have an impact on me outside the scope of the paper. I say all that to say that while I understand the importance of getting a Ph.D. this program has also strengthened the fact that I know that I need to focus on getting my JD as well. I know that getting my JD is what I want to do, I know that I want to use my JD to impact people, but I also understand that it is important for me to get a Ph.D.so that I can transcend into academia. I am grateful for having been afforded the opportunity to be apart of a program that allowed me to kind of figure out what path I want my academic career to take after undergrad. I am grateful for having the opportunity to experience academic writing outside of the parameters of the semester or a typical class. I am just grateful to be able to say that I was able to be apart of a program like this. It’s like Sabrina said yesterday regarding Mr. Conway... not only will I be name dropping about Mr. Conway but I will also be name dropping for the rest of my days that I was and always will be a Quarles Fellow.

[afyanla-blog]

You say my major doesn't matter... My tuition bill says otherwise

I know we were supposed to create a post that reflected the work done today but I wanted to use this post to reflect on the conversation that Kalada, Valecia, Sabrina and I had during lunch today. We talked about how our majors aren't as respected as they should be in the grand scheme of society. We discussed how business and engineering majors at Morgan specifically look down on our majors and say that our areas of study are easy. However, looking at my own research specifically I am able to see that looking into the things about history that are not widely accepted or discussed is not easy. Having to examine how marginalized people are intentionally affected by policies that seek to erase their human and civil rights is not easy. Having to articulate why these things matter is not easy. Having to use your platform as a person of color within academia to make sure that the voices of the people that look like and have similar experiences as you have their voices and stories heard and told. Nothing about what we do is simple, easy, or any less important than the work of our colleagues who are in engineering, business or other concentrations that do not find value in ours. 

[afyanla-blog]

Don’t Double Space Until The End

I’m not sure why this was my title, but it encapsulates my feelings toward this paper... towards any papers, I do really. I get immense satisfaction from double spacing the paper after I have reached the minimum of single spaced papers to produce the minimum double spaced that I need. Today while doing my paper I found myself lacking the motivation or maybe just unable to transfer my ideas onto the word document sitting in front of me. I cried for a few hours this morning trying to figure out how I’m going to do this by Friday... I talked to my friends who jokingly reminded me of my unofficial major and minor and told me that I had this because no matter how ludicrous my ideas seem I am able to articulate them in a manner that produces no less than a solid B paper. However, I told one of my friends although my unofficial minor and major dictate that I should be able to make nothing from something and do relatively well on the first go round... I didn’t feel that this time. After one of my friends had continued to tell me that I had this, I stopped crying, and I got myself together, and I wrote my abstract and continued to write until I had about 4 pages. I realized that I needed that mini-breakdown where I was trying to figure out how I was going to actually have a good paper by Friday. Sometimes you need moments where you aren't sure how you're going to pull it off to actually pull it off... I think I’m done crying, but I doubt it, I’ll probably cry more tomorrow morning from the lack of sleep, but hopefully, that cry will come after I have 8 pages finished and can finally double space my paper and have those 8 pages turn into 15.5 or 16 depending on how the spacing makes things work.

[afyanla-blog]

Dig Dirt On Beaches...

Although I had every intention of writing, I took a well-needed nap. I had been spending so much time researching and working on combing through sources that I had not been sleeping as much as I should be. I have a running joke with some of my friends that I can’t sleep until the day that we submit the final draft. I make this joke because sometimes you’re so wrapped up in your research that you forget to do the small things like eat or even sleep. This weekend reminded me that it is important to find the balance between being wrapped up in your research and managing to find your way out of the hole of research and into the space where you are able to maintain a sense of normalcy. This day-trip with Valecia was important because it not only allowed us to bond as Quarles Fellows but it also enabled us to destress before the two most stressful weeks of the program. Although I did not get much sleep this weekend the activities, I partook in allowed me to realize that there needs to be a balance. Finding the perfect balance is something that I have always struggled with; during the semester I tend to shy away from what I call unnecessary social interactions and focus primarily on my school work and maintaining my GPA. However, being in this program during my usual designated social season has allowed me to understand that balance is necessary. The day trip to OC helped me understand that sometimes you need to sit in the sand, let the crashing waves to calm whatever anxieties you feel and just go with the flow for a day or two.

[afyanla-blog]

Lit review draft

Commonalities:

Activism—small-scale resistance that black women engaged in as a result of their erosion of reproductive rights

Intersectionality—examining the connection between race  and class in the erosion of reproductive rights is essential to understanding  the place of black women in this scope of lacking reproductive rights

Scholars have demonstrated the extent to which race and  class intersected to inform the reproductive rights of black women

Macro—understanding how welfare politics/policies affected  black women’s ability to have reproductive rights

Differences

Key Points:

Scholars have demonstrated the extent to which the erosion  of reproductive rights was an act of structural violence

Marginalization—understanding the implications of  marginalization as it pertained to the larger Second Wave Feminist Movement  advocating for black women’s reproductive rights

[afyanla-blog]

Abstract

Tonight I will use my blog to give a little insight into how my research design is going. I will use this platform as a means to exhibit my abstract as that is the easiest and shortest part that will not require a lengthy post that everyone will gloss over.

The scholars with whom I will be in conversation with have determined that the mass sterilization of black women during the late twentieth century relied heavily on the fact that this structural violence was grounded in AFDC welfare policies. Many of the scholars who have focused their research on this topic agree that marginalized women --specifically black in this case-- were sterilized as a result of trying to offset the birthrate and some families dependent on the welfare system. What is missing in this conversation is the historicization of black women’s lack of body autonomy and what that historical context brings to the table regarding this part of the discussion. What is also missing from the conversation is the notion that while coerced sterilization grounded in economics and capitalism and how that functioned as a governing factor for the nation. The primary sources I intend to use will mainly be pulled from newspapers as well as scholarly journals. I also plan to conduct at least three interviews to understand the perspectives of women who lived during the time period I am researching. Two articles will inform the manner in which I form my paper, and they will be the governing bodies for the flow of my research...

While this is a super rough draft of what I intend to do for my research plan, putting it out here on my blog has been really helpful and will be useful as I can seek feedback from my cohorts.

[afyanla-blog]

Deadlines

Ooh oh 

I just take it day by day... 

Ooh ooh I just do it my way

All I got is these broken clocks I ain't got no time Just burning daylight...

As I drove away from the Afro, I had SZA’s Ctrl blasting from my speakers, and Broken Clocks was the first song to play. As I listened to the song and thought about the assignments, we have due on Friday, and I realized that as much as I started to panic on Monday that there is nothing to panic about. I just have to take it day by day and gradually do the research and gradually do the assignments. It is unrealistic to even think that doing assignments in a short span of time will produce the quality of work that I intend to create. I had to realize that even though it feels like I’m just burning daylight by simply combing through sources and looking for ways to strengthen my paper I’ve realized it is okay to feel that way because I am working toward my personal goals. I am not just burning daylight, yes my clocks all seem broken because it seems like the weeks are flying and I am trying to figure out how the time is passing so fast and how I am going to write a bomb paper in two weeks. However, it is okay because I understand that I have to take it day by day. I understand that in setting personal goals for myself, it is important to be realistic and do thing my way because I know what works for me.

[afyanla-blog]

Afro-Archive

Tomorrow’s visit to the Baltimore Afro-Archives has me super excited! I’m mainly excited because I have been trying to figure out how to historicize my topic in relation to Baltimore, Morgan State, or the Afro. I intended, initially, to build my project around Baltimore. However, I soon learned that Baltimore was barren in terms of understanding my topic on a broader scale. So, I came to the conclusion that pulling primary source documents from the Afro would help me focus my question in one of the areas that are designated to inform our research.

I intend to use the Afro-archives to sort through articles that discussed forced sterilization of black women and more specifically black women who were recipients of welfare benefits. I plan to use these articles from the Afro to understand the perspective from an African American newspaper. It will be interesting as it informs my research in terms of looking at varying views on the topic. I have articles from more mainstream non-black newspapers that discuss the issue of forced sterilization so contrasting these sources and understanding how they discuss the issues will help to inform how I structure the paper. 

I believe that tomorrow’s visit to the archives will also be beneficial in that it will allow me to really solidify my sub-questions. I think that once I solidify my sub-questions by basing them in primary source material, it will make the paper easier to execute. Essentially, this visit to the archives will be beneficial because it will help inform my method for executing my paper.

[afyanla-blog]

There was something so pleasant about that place...

Yesterday's visit to Red Emma's was beneficial for one thing in particular; it reaffirmed the notion that black women need spaces of their own in which to feel safe. I realized that as the white man sitting across from me --let's be clear he was obviously mentally disturbed or high-- heckled Dr. Cooper each time she made a statement that went against his views. As Dr. Cooper talked about the culture of dissemblance that black women engage in as a direct response to the oppression we face he made it clear that as a white man he too felt oppressed. As he made these comments and as his anger grew into threats of throwing Molotov cocktails, shooting people and general rants about how white lives matter... I thought about how much we need black women to be in the conversations about black history because clearly even though this guy was off his rocker he was a real life example of the challenges that black women --black female intellectuals in particular-- face when it comes to even existing in a world where they are not valued. The heckler's friend also got up to speak and essentially said that the rape of black woken by white men post slavery --honestly when I tuned him out to an extent but I know he was speaking of more historical times-- was more of a secret affection than it was actual rape. It was in that moment hearing Dr. Cooper's response I knew that black women in this intellectual sphere are essential because although this guy was also clearly off his rocker this is the belief of so many people who are not vested in telling the truth about the black experience. Dr. Cooper also discussed the fact that sometimes black men can be as damaging to the black woman's narrative as normative white men and that also helped me understand that this is why we cannot simply rely on black male intellectuals to tell the whole story because too often American history means white men and in a space where black men are fighting for their voices to be heard they too often forget about black women so we must be there to fight to tell our story as black women tell the story of our blackness and our womaness and that is what stood out to me as Dr. Cooper spoke, it seemed almost religious in that I understood the need for me to be in this program beyond the scope of what I already knew about why I was chosen. I understand why we need people who look like me and have experiences like me to tell the story of other people who look like me who are marginalized and silenced on a regular basis. Also the Tumblr app is trash because I had a beautiful articulation of my experience yesterday and it deleted and Tumblr staff y'all need to fix this app because it's legit trash...

[jusbblack-deactivated20190214]

Future Morgan BEars!!!!!!

[afyanla-blog]

Actual Post coming soon

First I think it is important to say this is my third time writing this post and the Tumblr app is the absolute worst. The tumblr app deleted my post so I will be redoing my post later this morning

[afyanla-blog]

Printing...

Today's visit to the Library of Congress was beneficial because it allowed me to have access to sources that I was not able to access from the campus database. I was able to find a plethora of primary sources such as newspaper articles and scholarly sources that will be beneficial to my research. I had been unable to find valuable primary sources that spanned beyond the scope of the Baltimore Afro. What was also beneficial about this was having the ability to find sources in an environment outside the scope of Morgan State. This was important because I find myself getting distracted by the surroundings and not being able to find the resources I need to create and strengthen the arguments in my paper. To be able to find and evaluate sources in an unfamiliar space made me feel more productive because there were those familiar distractions there to interrupt my research process. Essentially the visit to the Library of Congress allowed me to not only find sources but to dedicate a good few hours of my time to really participating in information gathering in a more scholarly manner than I usually do at Morgan. The visit to the Library of Congress today helped me get my feet wet with the type of research I need to conduct in the future. I feel like this was also beneficial because it allowed me to get comfortable with archival research in a way that I was not previously comfortable with. Also this second trip allowed me to get more comfortable with exploring DC for potential research opportunities; I plan to go to Howard University's archives to find out about forced sterilization. Essentially this trip was all around beneficial not just for research at the Library of Congress but also in general aspects of research.

[valeciadianne-deactivated201909]

This dissertation focuses on the experiences of ex-offenders, who were juveniles charged as an adults, re-entering society post release.

[valeciadianne-deactivated201909]

This research article presents the ways in which juvenile offenders experience challenges reentering the school system along with the role social workers play.

[valeciadianne-deactivated201909]

This research focuses on reentry programs and interventions and their influence on ex juvenile offenders reintegrating into society.

[afrodiaspores]

The first finalist for the 2017 Albert J. Raboteau Best Book in Africana Religions is Elizabeth Pérez, Religion in the Kitchen.

Drawing on years of ethnographic research in Chicago among practitioners of Lucumí, the transnational tradition popularly known as Santería, Pérez focuses on the behind-the-scenes work of the primarily women and gay men responsible for feeding the gods. She reveals how cooking and talking around the kitchen table have played vital socializing roles in Black Atlantic religions.

[valeciadianne-deactivated201909]

This study was an in depth evaluation of African American men who were previously convicted, and their reintegration experience which follows a symbolic interactionist perspective.