the golden rule always applies
I spent most of my day off yesterday watching reality shows my mom had recorded in the past month. This included Dance Moms, Leah Remini: It's All Relative, Don't Be Tardy, Jersey Belle and Watch What Happens: Live. Some of these shows were new to me and some I am admittedly a fan of... it's my guiltiest of pleasures.
Quickly, I found that every 5 minutes or so I would pause the show and make a comment (to my dog, the only other living thing in the house) about what I did or did not agree with that was happening in the show. Essentially, I was criticizing the actions of the people on the show, mindlessly and without hesitation.
I mean, I really started to dig into these people. "Why the hell would she marry that loser", "this person is insane", "I would never let my kid do that", "this bitch is so dumb", so on and so forth. By the end of the day, I was exhausted, annoyed and I didn't feel like myself.
Let me backtrack a few days to another incident that left me feeling icky about myself...
This past weekend I was in a huge family wedding. I'm talking 300 people, tons of food, music, laughter, good times and (inevitably) gossip and drama. I grew up in a very large circle of family and friends, thanks to my town being the size of a raisin and my mom's affinity for making a new friend every day for all 42 years of her life.
The bride of the wedding was my half-sister's mother. She, my mom and a few more women went to grade school, middle school and high school together. Four of them had their first kid (all girls) right around age 20. So we all grew up together, none of our dads stuck around for long and I truly knew the meaning of "it takes a village to raise a child".
Anyways, one of my "auntie's" whole family was invited and her brother brought his longtime girlfriend, let's call her Maria. Well Maria showed up to the wedding shit faced, in a skimpy white dress and hot pink stilettos. Classy, no? This girl made a spectacle of herself all night long, offending the bride and groom, their families and many others in attendance.
By the time 3 am rolled around, just the tight knit group was still hanging outside smoking cigarettes, drinking and recapping the night. My Auntie, lets call her Auntie B, well her family is full of drama, so there had already been a few tiffs amongst her family that night. So, as we are all chatting and having a good time, the bride (i call her my stepmom because she is my sister's mom) goes up to Maria and politely says " can you please close your legs sweetie, we are in the presence of my husband and other grown men". Well this just set Maria OFF. It was a fight from the jump, and Maria ended up calling the bride (my STEPMOTHER who has pretty much raised me) "a whore who nobody likes, who stole her best friend's husband". (pause for time to process this)
Now, I am not a fighter nor am I into petty drama. But I am a strict believer in family and loyalty. My family (and friends) are everything to me. And if you threaten them, I WILL snap. So that is what happened. One thing led to another and I ended up physically attacking this chick in a blind rage. Adrenaline coursing through my veins, I was screaming at this girl "you're a whore, a low class bitch, trash! You can't even spell bachelor's degree boo!" NOTE: I AM NOT PROUD OF MY WORDS OR ACTIONS IN THIS INCIDENT. THIS WAS OUT OF LINE, OUT OF CHARACTER AND DOWNRIGHT SHAMEFUL. DO I REGRET HITTING HER? YES. DID I APOLOGIZE? YES. AM I SORRY FOR DEFENDING MY FAMILY? HELL NO!
So what does this incident have to do with me making snide comments about the reality shows I watched days later? Judgement. I passed judgement on the reality TV cast just like I passed judgment on Maria. I put it in my own head that I was above them. That because they were doing things I considered to be grotesque, classless, taboo, etc. I was somehow better than them? This is not who I am. This is not becoming of a young woman. This is not acceptable for ANYONE to do. You know who can pass those judgements? God. That's it.
Upon this realization, I had flashback to my favorite movie Mean Girls; the part in the movie where Lindsay Lohan realizes judging the snaggle toothed girl at the mathletes competition didn't make her any better of a person... you know the scene I'm talking about.
What it comes down to is The Golden Rule; treat others how you want to be treated. I treated Maria like a punching bag, I judged the Real Housewives of Whatever based on a 30 minute glimpse of their lives. Was I treating them the way I want to be treated? Again, HELL NAW.
Making assumptions and be prejudicial against others does nothing positive for anyone, ever. It doesn't make them a different person, it doesn't make you any better, and it's just bad for the soul. The world has enough negative energy floating around, why pollute it with poisonous words and actions? Let's give people a chance! I don't know the circumstances of people's lives, why they act the way they do, who am I to judge? Who am I to sit upon a pedestal of superiority?
The take away from these experiences left me with this
a reminder that all people are equal in the eyes of God.
how you perceive people is not always the reality of the situation.
live and let live! love thy neighbor!
putting bad words, thoughts and energy into the world is bad for the soul and creates a snowball effect of poison in our lives.
At the end of the day, why waste your time and energy with negative thoughts, words, and actions? Why put more hate into the world? Why put that poison into your life? Positivity, love and forgiveness. These should be what we contribute to the world. Sure, it's easy to be a hater, we've all been there. But being mindful to not be a Negative Nancy makes life so much easier.
Live and let live, my friends! Life is too short to dwell on the negative, focus on the positive
