I break the law but follow the rules

agentfranklin:

Frankie was bored. This always happened post any mission. Going from the adrenaline, even if this mission was a bit slow for her liking, of a mission to the lack of it, well it was almost enough to make Frankie pester every single person more then normal for nothing to do.

Today she found herself in the garden area on the third floor of the bunker. Frankie liked having the benefit of being outside without having to go into the cold rain that had been covering the town today. She sat with her legs crossed sideways on the bench, cards laid out in front of her as she played solitaire waiting for someone to come up so she could con them into playing any other game with her.

Especially since the game was just seeming to make her more and more bored the more she lost. Once she realized she was just going to lose again unless she cheated she gathered up the cards and started shuffling again.

“Oh, dear, this is depressing,” Truth teased the older agent with a smirk as she watched the cards before her. She hasn’t played cards in forever, probably since she was a child, nine years old or something. It wasn’t that she didn’t like it, but it wasn’t the first thing that came to her mind when she was bored. There was so much she could do with her laptop or just with books. There was nothing she enjoyed more than reading a book on a rainy day.

However, she needed to get out and to see something else. She usually didn’t mind going out of the Bunker, even if it was raining, but after the mission, she wasn’t sure going in town was a good idea. The indoor garden area would do. Of course, she carried her book with her since she didn’t expect to find someone in there, but in the end, she’d rather have a nice talk with Franklin than anything else.

“May I?” She asked, pointing at the seat beside her. She didn’t want to impose her presence either. “Is everything okay? It’s been a while since we last met.” She asked with a smile, holding her book against her chest.

#franklin001

kassmitchell

Exploding Kittens || OPEN

leethompkins-old-deactivated202

agent-roosevelt:

In the back of her mind, Roosevelt knew that she wasn’t the best in her class. As much as she liked to claim otherwise, or pretend like she was the top of it, she knew deep down that she was probably somewhere near the middle. And part of that came from that moment when she was sitting in a seminar learning about explosives and couldn’t figure out how you can determine wiring without there being actual colors.

After sitting there in the classroom watching as the agent teaching them looked down her nose at her for the tenth time she almost felt like throwing the fake grenade just to watch everyone else scramble and possibly write it off as a joke. But instead she stayed after and alone in the empty classroom rereading her notes, writing them over and over again trying to figure out what she had done wrong. Staring at the words on the board and the words on the paper for a few hours and they had started to run together and if she hadn’t of been confused before she got to class, she sure as hell was now.

As the buzzer went off throughout the now empty classroom, Roosevelt shook with the echo. It shouldn’t be this hard. How was it that every time she got it wrong? Like the wire kept changing in the simulation. She knew it probably was, everything in The Agency seemed to work that way. Letting out a groan of frustration, the blonde picked up the bomb and chucked it towards the opposite side of the classroom, just in time to watch the door open and someone see her temper tantrum in all its glory.

Being attacked in the Bunker definitely was unusual. Agents never hurt each other or fight unless it was in a training room. Truth didn’t expect anything, especially not an explosive device, to be thrown at her when she entered the classroom. Her instincts immediately told her to step aside, just enough to avoid the bomb. She wasn’t sure if it was a real one or not but eventually, when she looked up at the agent in front of her and raised her eyebrows.

“What’s wrong with you? I know I didn’t knock but I thought this room was empty,” Truth explained as she kneeled down to pick up the bomb. After all, classes finished a couple of hours ago already. She examined it. It didn’t look broken. Then again, she wasn’t an expert. She walked to her table and pulled it down next to Roosevelt. She then turned around and sat on the desk, facing the board and staring at it for a moment.

“It’s not as easy as in movies, right?” She asked after a moment, a small smirk on her lips. She didn’t struggle that much during this class, nor during any of them by the way. As long as it didn’t include physical training, Truth was good with the rest. She was always quick to learn, she always wanted to learn more. Understanding things were easy for her, and it usually takes a couple of tries before she succeeded. However, she knew it wasn’t everyone’s case and she didn’t blame them for that. It didn’t mean they are less intelligent or they will not be great agents.

“Do you ever try to write down every single action you’re making to see when it turns bad? Sometimes, it helps me. It also helps you remember what you did. I recommend it, and not just for that.”

#roosevelt001

I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be snippy.

#musing #about

Breakfast || Monroe&Truth

Truth loved everyone. At least, she always wanted to be loved by everyone, to have as many friends as possible. It wasn’t the case during her high school years, which probably lead her to the Agency at some point. Now, she tried to be the bubbly, funny friend to everyone. But this was just a dream. You can’t be friend with everyone, and for Truth, her issue was with Monroe.

She didn’t know her, barely talked to her, which made things even stranger. However, she’d seen her. Watched her from afar, more specifically when she was with Hamilton. It was pure jealousy and no one could understand her bitter feeling towards the blonde agent. Because no one, except Jay, knew about their relationship. It was just too hard for Truth to see Hamilton be close to a new agent, about her age, taking her under his wing when she couldn’t even talk to him freely in public. When someone else had the relationship they used to have in real life. It wasn’t as simple as that and she shouldn’t blame any of the two. She just couldn’t help herself.

Truth couldn’t hold back a long sigh when she realised how crowded the dining hall was. She wasn’t one to have breakfast when everyone was there. She’d rather have an early breakfast, or later in the middle of the day, but everything was slower in the labs today, and she was hungry.

When she spotted a seat on a two people table, she walked closer and dropped her tray in front of Monroe with another sigh. “May I?” She asked just to be polite since she was already taking the seat. She looked at the others’ tray; it looked almost the same as hers, except one thing. She was having tea. Tea. She hated tea. She shook her head in silence and took a bit of her apple. “Long time no see.” She said with an obvious fake smile. At least she was trying. And failing. “How have you been?”

@extralegallyblonde

#monroe001

Face to Face // Jay +Truth

#end #no need to reply to this I guess #jay003

codenamejay:

“It’s no problem.” Jay remembers those young, tentative days, when killing was new and the entirety of what they do at the Agency felt overwhelming some days. It’s an emotional time for any person, witnessing someone take a life, and Jay’s glad he could help her out some. There’s a moment where Jay swears he could just lean in and kiss her. Whether it’d be reciprocated or not, it’s there. It takes a lot of will control to just let the moment ease on by, returning her smile as the bright lights of the hallway beckon him forward.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be ready to kick your butt by next week, so don’t slack off with your practice.” The medicine in the Bunker really is something else, and he has no doubt that Madison will have him all stitched up and fixed up within the week. There are new missions ahead just waiting to be conquered. Jay knows that Operation Hook is only the beginning for what the former Agent Franklin had gotten into.

Jay stops halfway out the door, half turning back to talk to her one more time before he leaves.

“And if you ever need to talk, or someone to just listen, I’m here for it.” The offer is genuine, despite Jay’s dislike for conversations that turn too touchy-feely. He may not be her mentor but Jay has a responsibility to all younger agents he takes seriously.

END

tsukinosusagis

#musing #about

skyeszane-deactivated20220611

#musing #about

Face to Face // Jay +Truth

codenamejay:

“Me and Big B? Never, ever going to happen.” Jay’s sure Jefferson would agree as well, but she isn’t with them to defend herself. “She gets the job done, always in the most boring way possible.”

Jay’s eyes close for a moment when she plays his hair. Despite the fact that he does have his secret, friends with benefits sort of relationship, intimacy isn’t something he’s always used to. His divorce was finalized a long time ago, and Jay can’t say he’s been focused on dating or even looking for companionship since then. Rebekah leaving messed Jay up more than he’s realized or admitted, and it’s easier to keep that wall up and just focus on the job.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you sound kind of like your brother right now,” Jay says with a shake of his head. He can see a familial relationship between them. When you’re raised in the same household as someone, there are certain ways of thinking and seeing the world that tend to be shared. Despite their different personalities, Jay has no doubt of the bond between Truth and Hamiltion.

As a kid, Jay dreamed of making the kind of money he has now. He was young and full of youthful optimism that if he had enough money he could care take of his entire family and make everything good in the world. As a teenager, he quickly grew out of that idea when he saw his parents struggling. He worked three minimum wage jobs to make sure the power stayed on in the house and that their other bills were paid on time. A big, fancy rich job wasn’t in the cards for him, at the time, and college was even further away.

Now, as an agent with money, he rarely gets to see his family. On his rough days, he wonders if all of his choices were the right ones. He made a decent living as a Marshal, and could have continued on that path. Instead his family sees his check book more than they see him. It’s too bittersweet, and Jay pulls himself out of his own head when she talks.

“You’re being awful truthful, Agent Truth. I’ll have to remember to liquor you up whenever I need some honest answers.” Jay sits up slowly. He’s still got a small buzz but it’s starting to wear off. That’s the best part of being as big as he is, alcohol doesn’t keep his head spinning for very long.

“As fun as this has been, I have a medical follow up for my perfectly fine, not at all injured shoulder today.”

“Well, I’ll take that as a compliment,” Truth smiled and looked at the ceiling again. All of her life, Cleo tried to be like Arlo. When she was young, she was following him around, always wanting to play with him and to see what he was doing. When he left to be a photojournalist, she wanted to do something as great as him and later, she joined law school. When he came back half broken, she was there to make him smile every single day.

There was no doubt that they both had similarities. They were raised by the same people, surrounded by the same people, with values such as compassion and love. Being the younger sibling of six, Truth had to be louder to be heard. When Arlo was calm and put together, Cleo was loud and bubbly, always seeking attention. But deep down, they were just the same.

Now they were together again, Truth wanted to be like Hamilton; one of the best agent of the Agency. Not being able to be close to him, to talk to him whenever she wanted, not being able to knock on his door when she was feeling down and to see him take agents under his wing was a lot harder than she would admit. The worst part was probably that she couldn’t talk to anyone about it. For the first time, she was alone and had to keep everything inside. She couldn’t trust anyone.

“Who said I was going to drink in your presence ever again?” Truth raised her eyebrows at him and shook her head. He didn’t have to do this to have honest answers, but she wouldn’t say it out loud.

“Oh yeah, sure, sorry,” Truth sat up, a little bit too quickly since she almost fell off her bed; alcohol mixed with her usual clumsiness was definitely not the best match. She rose from the bed and walked him to the door. She wrapped her fingers around the door handle but didn’t open it right away. When her eyes met his again, she looked a lot more serious than before.

“Look, I...” She took a deep breath and looked down at her feet. “Thank you. You didn’t have to come but you did it anyway. You made me forget the things I didn’t want to think about for a while so yeah. Thank you for that.” She said with a shy smile before she opened the door to let him out. “And go easy on your shoulder, or I’ll never go back to the gym.”

Face to Face // Jay +Truth

codenamejay:

Jay doesn’t make a move to stop her when she reaches up to fix his hair. He’s too comfortable to move, and most of the pomade has worn off with the wear and tear of the day. Jay’s hair can get really fluffy when it doesn’t have product in it, and it likes to go every which way. His bed head can be awful, which is why he’s grateful for the large bathroom in his room. Washington cracks down when there are new recruits in the Bunker, and with their low success and high mortality rates, there are always new faces around.

“We’d be here all day if I told you every rumor I’ve heard about myself in the last ten years,” Jay says with a small laugh. “The worst one I’ve ever heard was me and Jefferson. I know she’s attractive, but could you imagine? It’d be like sex with a rules robot.”

Jay’s files are encrypted to a ridiculous degree, another Founder benefit coupled with his own need for secrecy and paranoia. He deletes his text messages multiple times a day, making sure they’re completely off his phone and not keeping anything compromising. Any pictures that have been sent to his phone go into a special folder that’s locked down thanks to some advanced tech skills that Jay doesn’t possess. Truth may be an expert hacker, but trying to get into his phone would be a nightmare. Something like his watch, which Ruth has hacked dozens of times, could prove to be annoying, but Jay feels like his secrets are pretty safe.

“It won’t be that easy.” Jay years ago would have taken the bait for sure, but Jay today? He’s a little older and a hell of a lot wiser. He’s also not drunk yet, and plans to stay on this side of sober. Getting wasted with Truth would be a bad idea. Jay doesn’t assume something would happen if they got drunk together, but if it did he’d have a hard time looking Hamilton in the eye

“That would be the most harmless rumor to go around, that I’m all talk and a big flirt. Let’s go with that one.” He smirks at her, matching the playful look on her face. “As for what I’m into? Confident, hot, and good in bed. Aside from that? I’m not too picky. But what about you?” Jay tries to turn the conversation around on her, “What are you into?”

Truth carefully pulled it back in place, stroking his hairline a couple of times to make sure it would stay that way. Her movements are slow and delicate, her fingertips only brushing through a couple of strands. His hair was softer than she thought and that was probably why it took her a little moment before her eyes met his and she smiled at him again. She’d been lost in her thought for just a moment. It was peaceful and calm, a nice way to relax. She always loved touching people’s hair, which was rather ironical when she had dozens of wigs. She found it peaceful and relaxing for everyone, although she knew it was quite an intimate gesture.

”I have all day,” She smiled but didn’t insist more than that, shaking her head to let him know that he didn’t have to do it. However, she couldn’t help but chuckle when she heard the said rumour about another agent. ”Well, I can’t judge. She’s a level three agent and I can’t say I know her. Having sex with a rules robot can be an… Interesting experience.”

Truth could only imagine how hard it must be to go through the level three agents’ files, even worst with Washington. She was pretty sure it would take days and she wasn’t ready to do that anytime soon, especially for stupid sex stories. Even if it was just a joke, she didn’t want to be seen as some sort of traitor willing to go through private pieces of information she’s not supposed to know. Whether these were private or concerning the Agency. ”You shouldn’t underestimate me,” She still warned him with a smirk on her lips that clearly said she wouldn’t do anything wrong to him. She didn’t want to lose his trust.

”Why am I not surprised?” She teased him and nudged his shoulder playfully. No matter how predictable it was, she didn’t expect him to reverse the conversation. ”What I’m into?” She asked and rolled over to lie on her back and stared at the ceiling. ”Well, hot, obviously. But I think it’s more about making me laugh? I think I could never be interested in someone who can’t make me smile or laugh and who’s completely dumb, no matter how hot or rich they are. I need something more even if it’s purely sexual,” She explained and looked at him again, her cheeks blushing a little bit.

“I shouldn’t tell you that, stop asking questions!” She laughed and shook her head. She was not capable of not answering and lying, and it was making her crazy. She shouldn’t be telling this to her brother’s closest friend, who happened to be her superior too.

ofmymuses

character aesthetic ➙ requested by anonymous ;; { the hacker }

all I need is a cup of getting SHIT done

#about #musing

Face to Face // Jay +Truth

codenamejay:

“Some people have broken that suggestion before. It doesn’t always end awful, but imagine having to pretend to be married to someone who broke your heart the week before. That’s bad for business.” There are some agents who met at work, fell in love, and went on to retire and make a family. Jay thinks those are one in a million chances, and Jay’s always had bad luck. Just look at his failed marriage, inevitable divorce, and bad string of hook-ups that resulted afterwards.

A piece of Jay’s hair falls forward as he turns to make eye contact with her. He tries to blow it back with his breath alone and it doesn’t work. Truth’s cheeks are ruby red and she’s definitely more inebriated than he is. That’s not too surprising; Jay is a lot bigger than Truth is. Still, the smile on her face is relaxed, less guarded, and Jay’s reminded of two things. She really is beautiful. Also, she happens to be one of his best friend’s sister, and she’s completely off limits.

“Oh no. I am not nearly drunk enough to kiss and tell. Despite the rumors out there, no one’s ever guessed any of my… relationships correctly and I plan to keep it that way.” No one is going to find out about him and Rocky. Not even Ham or Frankie, who Jay has shared worse secrets with before.

“Why do you want to know?” Jay asks with a tilt of his head, his voice teasing. He leans in closer as he asks his next question, trying to get a rise out of Truth. Maybe she gets honest when she drinks, just like him. “Jealous?”

“It’s probably best not to let anyone break your heart, indeed,” Truth didn’t want to end up in a messed up situation like the one he was describing anytime soon. Work was too important to ruin it over stupid feelings and relationship. She would try to follow this path for as long as she could, then again, she wasn’t sure she would be able to deal with this type of feelings.

Truth chuckled when she saw a small piece of hair escape his perfect hairstyle. He looked adorable. Once again, it was a proof that his perfect mask and appearance wasn’t effortless, as if he wasn’t that unreachable. She raised her hand to pull it back in place but waited for his silent approval just inches away from his forehead. She didn’t want to cross a line when they were just having fun.

“But we didn’t kiss, so you just have to tell,” She teased him and bit the inside of her cheek to hold back an even wider grin. “Alright, if they were all wrong, you can start by telling me these rumours? So I know who I should strike out of my list right away,” It was logical, but she already knew he wasn’t going to answer. Not yet. However, she was more stubborn than she looked, and if she didn’t get an answer today, she’d find out the next day. Or the day after. “I’ll just hack your e-mails and phone, that’s okay,” she kept a straight face but the playful glimmer in her eyes was still evident. She wouldn’t do it, she wasn’t that intrusive. Not always.

“Jealous?” Truth repeated and raised her eyebrows. She leaned forward a little bit as well and made eye contact with him. “I don’t kiss and tell,” She whispered and winked at him, pulling away with a giggle. She was not going to not say anything though, alcohol was still making her mind hazy and had turned off all filters.

“For me, you’re jealous when you have feelings for someone, which, sorry to break it to you, but is not the case here.” She smiled at him and thought for a moment. “I like you Jay, you’re really fun to be around. A jackass, but handsome as hell. I was simply wondering what you were into. What your tastes are like? If you’re just a big flirt or if you act?” She paused and shrugged. “Apparently, you’re just a flirt.” She concluded as she sat up, voluntarily provoking him to see his reaction. “Want another drink?”

Face to Face // Jay +Truth

codenamejay:

“Punished by the big man,” Jay says with a serious look that falls away just a second later. Washington’s rules are set in iron, and if you try to bend or break them, you just wind up hurting yourself. Jay gets away with more than he should, but even he has a scheduled appointment for later to get it out of the way. At this point, the consults are more of a formality than anything else. It’s all, ‘Hello, did you get a new hair cut? Why yes, I did watch a man die, thank you for asking. Have a great day.’

“The psych people? They’re on a need to know basis and get the redacted version of your file. Anything you choose to share with them is your call, and they take those secrets very seriously. They know what happens to people who don’t follow the Agency’s rules.”

Jay’s a tall guy, so when he crosses the room it only takes four steps. He falls back onto Truth’s bed sideways, his entire lower body hanging far enough off the bed that his feet touch the floor. Jay grins over at her, happy for the alcohol and some pleasant company. With his shoulder messed up, his training schedule is really suffering, leaving him with way too much free time and nothing to do with it.

“Everyone after me? Doubtful.” Jay says with a snort and a shake of his head. He finishes shot number three and clears his throat. He can feel a slight flush to his face that comes with a buzz, and knows he needs to slow down a little. No reason to embarrass himself by being drunk in the middle of the afternoon.

“Agents are strongly advised to refrain from making romantic relationships with anyone, even fellow agents.” It sounds as if Jay’s reading a script. In part, he is, because he’s heard it said so many times. “The sex part though, definitely happens around here. It’s the healthiest form of stress relief outside of the gym, after all.”

Truth nodded at his words and dropped the subject anyway. She wasn’t going to say things if she didn’t need to. She wasn’t one to confess, especially not to strangers. There were things she’d rather keep redacted. Her first appointment was scheduled for the next day, she would just have to wait and see.

She was surprised to see him getting comfortable on the bed so quickly. She doubted it was that easy to convinced him all the time, but it was still funny to see. “Oh look at that, since when are you humble? It was almost a compliment, you should appreciate it,” Truth rolled her eyes playfully and stood up after drinking her last glass of vodka. She then lied down flat on her stomach on her bed next to Jay. This was a bad idea. Drinking and flirt with him. She couldn’t erase the goofy smile on her lips and her cheeks were burning by now.

“I see,” She nodded gently and grabbed a pillow. She wrapped her arms around it to make herself more comfortable. She wasn’t sure how you were supposed to refrain your feelings for someone. She’d never been in love, not properly, so that probably explained a lot. She has had boyfriends in the past, but nothing serious enough to call someone the love of her life. She’d just have to wait and see, even if she didn’t want to break the rules on serious matters like this.

“If you want to know, I’m a lot better in bed than in the gym. Not that it’s really hard either,” She laughed and placed the side of her head on the pillow, observing the agent next to her. “Who did you sleep with?” She was curious and missed being the nosy sister. She always was the one finding out her siblings darkest secret. She wanted to see if she was able to do it with anyone else. She would never spread rumours about other agents though. If Jay was going to say something to her, she’d obviously keep it to herself. She nudged his shoulder gently and bit her bottom lip. “I promise I’ll keep it secret.”

Face to Face // Jay +Truth

codenamejay:

“We’re all in the same boat, you know? We all do this together. For the greater good.” Jay can see the wheels in her head moving a thousand miles a minute as she takes everything in. Jay may not be sure what she’s thinking exactly, but he knows she’ll be able to work through it on herself. That’s the important part, and Jay’s seen enough people burn and fizzle out to know that Truth’s going to be okay. Eventually.

“For the record, you should not day drink after every mission.” Jay takes the second shot, putting the glass back on the table. “Just this one time, though, it’s okay.”

The second shot burns even less and Jay feels a comfortable warmness in his belly. Alcohol isn’t the way to cope with pain, but sometimes it makes reminiscing easier. Despite his loud personality, Jay doesn’t share a lot of personal details. He talks a lot to just about everyone, but it’s rarely about his past. Jay’s charm and jokes help him deflect serious conversation and inquiries about his past life. Even the story he just told could have been part of the Agency. It wasn’t – the memory dates back to his SWAT days and one of his first call outs – but who would ever know? Only the Agents who have been there longer than him, that know Jay didn’t join the Agency for another five years after his first on the job shoot.

“Of course you will,” Jay’s grin turns a little more crooked his eyes crinkling in amusement. He’s much quicker to smile after a couple of shots. “And your mandatory meetings with the Bunker’s shrinks will make sure of that. Make sure you get them to sign off on you, or it doesn’t count. Found that one out the hard way.”

Jay isn’t a big fan of psychologists, but they make up part of the Bunker’s staff for a reason. It’s better than the EAP he had to deal with back on the force, that’s for damn sure. The Agency’s psychologists and psychiatrists are thoroughly vetted, and half of them were agents before they decided to retire to a less involved position.

“Now, where’s all of this flirting I’ve been promised?”

“Or what, I’ll be punished?” Truth arched an eyebrow and smiled at him. She knew she shouldn’t. She didn’t do it every day and didn’t plan on doing it after every mission. Today was special for many reasons. Her first mission, her first kill, her first confession to Jay. She grabbed her glass and drank it. She could feel her muscles starting to relax with the effect of the alcohol.

The good thing was this wasn’t awkward. Talking about subjects like death or feelings for the both of them didn’t feel awkward. It was hard to formulate it, but it was okay. She didn’t judge him and he didn’t seem to judge her. They were alright. She groaned when he mentioned mandatory meetings with the psychologists. She was pretty sure it would take more than one or two meetings to get her to talk about what was going on inside her head. “Do they know about Hamilton? Or is it just you, him, Washington and Ham? He didn’t want everyone to know, and I’ll not break that promise.”

“I didn’t promise anything,” Truth couldn’t help but laugh and shake her head, finishing her piece of brownie. She was happy with the change of subject and would definitely play along. She poured some more vodka in the glasses and looked up at Jay. “Why would I flirt with someone who doesn’t want to join me on my bed?” She teased him with a smirk and bit her bottom lip. It was easy to flirt with Jay because he didn’t take it seriously. Or at least he didn’t seem to. He was handsome, just like she imagined it when Hamilton talked about him. “How is it on the Island? I mean, all the love and sex part? I’m curious, everyone must be after you. I should be honoured to have you here today?”

Face to Face // Jay +Truth

codenamejay:

Jay can help but grin as she winks. Everyone knows that he’s a flirt all of the time, not just when he’s drunk. He raises the slot glass, waiting for her to clink it before he throws it back. The burn lasts for only a second. Truth’s secret stash is high quality, the real Russian stuff and not the watered down garbage you can get at your local liquor store. Jay keeps a fine bottle of bourbon tucked away in his room, only for especially good or bad days.

“I shot through his housekeeper that he tried to hold hostage to kill him. He was supposed to be at home by himself but missions rarely go as planned. His housekeeper died after three days in ICU.” It’s all still burned in his memory, like little moving snapshots between each minute. As time has gone on he remembers less and less of the small details, but the job stays with him. Jay, breaching through the back entrance door. His squadmate, Jacobs, taking point to clear rooms. Jay seeing the target with a glock pointed at his own housekeeper. Jacobs attempting to negotiate. Target leveling the gun at Jacobs. Gunpowder. Blood.

Jay motions for her to pour out another shot. Per policy, he had been suspended with pay while the internal investigation went on. It was deemed a good shoot after two months of sitting on his hands. He went to the funeral. Jay didn’t have much money so he couldn’t exactly help the widower and her children. The family took care of her, as cartels usually do, but Jay held the guilt of taking an innocent life.

“It’s what I had been trained for. Days and days at the practice range, training, doing exercises on all of my weekends off. They taught us how to shoot without even thinking. To react to the situation with instinct instead of thought. He wasn’t a person, he was a hostile with a gun, threatening to harm innocence people. I did what I needed to do.” Of course, he felt the guilt too. He had months to sit with the memory, thinking about what he could have done differently. Maybe, he could have saved the house keeper. Maybe, Jacobs could have talked him down. Maybe he was lowering the gun to give up. The maybes and what-ifs can eat you alive if you let them, so Jay doesn’t.

“You were part of the event. You had a direct role in a man dying. Just because you didn’t take the shot doesn’t mean you are immune to it. Don’t bottle it up because you feel like you don’t deserve to feel bad about it.” Truth’s on the right path, but she’ll definitely need the psych consultation that goes along with a mission. Anthony will be in and out in a day, like she always is, but Jay hopes that Truth can get more out of it. If she wants to go into the field like Madison, she’ll need to learn how to cope with seeing death first hand.

“Susie B will be fine, you can trust me on that.” Jay’s seen her recruitment profile and her psych evaluations. Susie B may just be the most stable one out of all of them, and he would wager she has the highest pre-recruitment kill count.

“And you’ll be fine, too.”

Truth grabbed her own glass and clinked it against his, then copied his gesture and drank it in one go. She had missed the familiar burning sensation in her throat. She didn’t usually drink more than two glasses of alcohol because it got her drunk quicker than most people, even if it was just beer or wine. It was different when it came to vodka. It was probably the habit or the fact that good quality vodka wasn’t as hard.

She liked to have a good bottle of vodka and have a drink now and then after a long day. It may sound weird but it was comforting. Something that reminded you of home without taking you out of reality. She wasn’t homesick, she loved this place. She finally felt like she was useful and it was more entertaining than law school.

She quickly poured another round of shots. They both needed it at this point.

How could she complain now? He had lived way worse than her. She couldn’t imagine how she would react if this had been her first mission, her first killing. If she had to kill someone with her own hand and kill an innocent person at the same time. An innocent woman. She wouldn’t feel as good. She felt bad for Jay, because he probably didn’t want to talk about this. It must be painful but he still did it to help her. And it did help her.

He was the proof that you could keep living and keep doing your job even when you were confronted with death and the worst feelings in the world. She wasn’t sure she wanted to become this kind of agent though. The one who acted before thinking, who did what she had to do without trying to find a better option. She didn’t admire Jay any less because of it. There was a reason why he was a Founding Father. She couldn’t help but wonder if Hamilton was the same as Jay on the field. She doubted it, but it still was possible.

“I’ll be fine. I am. There is nothing to worry about. Really,” She assured him with a soft smirk and leaned her back against the bed. She grabbed a blanket and placed it over her shoulders to get a bit more comfortable. She then grabbed a piece of brownie. “Brownie and vodka, that’s a nice match,” She smirked and took a mouthful of food.

Face to Face // Jay +Truth

codenamejay:

Jay just chuckles at Truth’s awkwardness. It’s pretty cute. He takes a seat in her most comfortable looking chair, resisting the urge to kick his feet back. Jay learned very quickly that people can be strange about their personal space and cleanliness. Instead he holds the plate of baked goods out to her before setting it down on the table.

“Wish I had brought beer instead of coffee,” Jays says when she falls back silent. Alcohol always makes situations like this easier to talk about. Jay is stupidly honest when he drinks, which usually gets him in trouble. It might make talking about death and killing a little more easy.

“It does get easier. I don’t know if that makes it better or worse, to be honest.” Jay takes a sip of coffee. He’s watching Truth like a hawk, for more reasons than one. After a kill situation, most agents are forced to go visit psych for a bare minimum of three sessions. If Jay has a recommendation, for more or less time under evaluation, it’ll help the process. He’s also killed people in his life. This is the kind of empathy Jay can give out. He also cares for her. She may be a newer agent, but being Hamilton’s sister automatically puts you on Jay’s good side. Aside from that, Jay enjoys her company, likes training with her, and she’s easy on the eyes, too.

“I still remember my first,” Jay says with a small frown. Many of the targets he’s taken down have faded from Jay’s memory. In fact, most of them have become a big, giant blur. It’s not a great thing to admit out loud, but it’s what Jay’s always been trained to do. As a cop, he was trained to react first and answer later. Killing people shouldn’t be easy. But for Jay, it’s another part of the job. A necessary evil.

“I was nineteen and we were doing a warrant service for this big scumbag. Drug trafficking, human trafficking, running guns, all of the big stuff. SWAT got called out to take care of them and he didn’t want to go down.” Jay pauses to look over at her. He hasn’t shared this story with very many people; Jay can count them on a single hand. If talking further about this is going to make her uncomfortable, he’ll stop.

Truth smiled when he mentioned beers and glanced over one of the cupboards in the bathroom. “Well, beer would get me drunk way too quickly. However, a part of me is Russian, so obviously, I’ve got some vodka,” She placed her coffee on the table and stood up to go grab the bottle, as well as two shot glasses. She sat down on the ground, closer to the coffee table. “Not sure you’ll handle it though. Oh, and when I’m drunk. I’m a real flirt, be careful” She teased him with a wink. She didn’t know if it was a good idea to drink when she was feeling a bit down, but she didn’t exactly care anyway. She poured two glasses and slid one over to Jay, silently asking if he wanted it.

She finally looked up at him when he mentioned his first kill. She didn’t expect him to confess about it but it somehow reassured her. She listened to him carefully. There were a million questions she wanted to ask but she wasn’t sure if she could or not. After all, he was the one bringing it up, right? “You shot them?” She asked after a moment and bit her bottom lip. “How did you feel about it? Did you regret it?” Talking about past feeling should be either at some point.

“I’m afraid that one day, it will be too easy. And if it’s too easy, I’ll do it too easily as well. For everything and anything,” She sighed and looked down at her hands. “I shouldn’t even feel anything. I didn’t shoot. I didn’t directly shoot them. Susie B should feel like this, not me. Don’t get me wrong, I hope she’s okay with it. But I feel kind of illegitimate, you know.”