Far kinder than I anticipated:
𝓕lincing as Jayden stood, Dana cursed herself for her sudden frailty. Weak enough to bend a broken knee at the notion of being engulfed by her own emotions, Dana felt a second round of distaste rise in her core at the idea of cowering in reaction to a simple movement. Eyes and fingers still picking at pink and green nails, Dana nodded as Norman spoke, only minimally taking in his each word. Words a near mirror of her usual advice, Dana found herself unable to escape the realism hanging between them, and in his voice alone. Instead just worrying her lower lip between pristine white teeth, Dana slowly shook her head.
“People never really warn you about this. How hard just living is.”
Completely at the mercy of Norman Jayden, Dana glanced up to gentle eyes from her sit. The tears had stopped, and while the burning behind her eyes had not, Dana merely shrugged loosely. “I must look so stupid to you just sitting here, gushing like you’re my therapist. Just a scared girl hiding behind blue eyes and an unnaturally large smile. You probably wouldn’t say it to my face, but I’m guessing you’re just hoping I’ll leave, right?” Averting her gaze in sudden shame for her overly black-and-white view point, Dana scowled internally as she stared ahead. Too desperate in her want to take in anything to avoid the teacher, Dana hung her head again as a hand buried in her hair.
“I’m sorry, that was pathetic, and awful of me.” Sheepish in her look back to Norman, Dana offered a shivering breath. “I really do appreciate your words and your help, even if I was just horrible at showing it. You’re right, of course, and the same goes back to you. I…I don’t know what a Blackwell professor’s life is like, or if any of this even grazes you, but I’m here too. To talk, you know?”
Norman was slightly taken aback at the doubt that he cared, but offered another faint smile to the young girl, though it faded much quicker than the ones before. “There’s no need to apologize, I understand how you’d doubt someone like me would care. But I do.” He then added with a lighter tone, “And I don’t mind being a knock off therapist, I didn’t get a psychology degree for nothing.” A joke, of course, but also a poor attempt to bring a brighter air to the mood.
After a brief moment, he replied to her later words with a slight shake of his head. “That’s very kind of you, but unnecessary. My life is nothing I can’t handle — besides, I’d much rather prefer it if you took care of yourself first. You’re far too young to have so many worries in your life.” God, the way he said that made him seem more like her father than her teacher. Still, it did give him some form of comfort that she seemed to care enough to offer. He needed more of that.
He couldn’t remember the last time he was capable of looking in the mirror without being DISAPPOINTED with himself. The way his shoulders always seemed to sink, how his eyes would drift away and his constant tugging at his clothing — maybe it wasn’t as obvious to others, but he was a man who couldn’t learn to let go of his past. He tried to hide it, trained himself to check his posture around his students and focus his gaze, but occasionally, he would ever so slightly slip up. It was usually having to be snapped back to reality or simply running into someone, but there was always that rare time where everything would show for just a MOMENT.
Drawing his green hues to his hands, he released a barely audible sigh before glancing back over to Dana. “I know that you barely know me, and it probably seems strange that a teacher of all people would say this, but if you ever need anything, whether it’s just to talk or otherwise — you know where to find me.”
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