[bashcrandicoot]

“I don’t know what my goals are, no. Thanks for asking.”

[melissa-sparx]

Running with the burrito I just got (stole) from Chipotle while a HATER cop tries to catch me:

[freakonakaleesh]

*lights a cigar with a match and leans back in my plush leather chair, looking out through the blinds at the city. my fuckin city.*

[freakonakaleesh]

[just-shower-thoughts]

Blowing a dandelion is basically you helping a weed ejaculate.

[melly-bell]

I was having a good day. We were all having a good day.

[churchyardgrim]

I mean it’s kind of not, seeds aren’t analogous to sperm, hell, pollen isn’t analogous to sperm, plants don’t do dimorphic gametes like that. a better analogy would be firing a couple dozen fully-formed babies from a tshirt cannon

[lunapics]

Now we’re having a good day again.

[lokidokeyartichoki]

“phones are disrupting natural sleep cycles” I mean true but also bold of you to assume I had one before the tech boom lol catch me out here reading chapter books by the light of my light up pens in the third grade

[headspace-hotel]

catch me lying awake for hours in darkness every night since i was 9

[wildbasil]

things haven't been great but i think they will be. eventually 🌻🌼🩷

[3000s]

mumu haters please die forever. look what youre doing to her.

[3000s]

your soul is sick if you hate her

[paulthebukkit]

IT’S HIM

he’s not big yet but IT’S HIM

[weinermoney]

I LOVE TUMBLR MOBILE SO MUCH

[straycatj]

！！！

[relelvance]

Game of the year

[illufinch]

heard it's world frog day 🐸🐸🐸

[podcastwizard]

despite popular belief i'm perfactly fine

[nflstreet]

new strat

[glidebylilychouchou]

me

[casualavocados]

@hotwngz

[catchymemes]

[transarsonist]

tell ya what you would not BELEIVE how fantastically well that shit shuts up prolifers love busting out the "actually my mom was a 18 year old mother and having kids led her directly into a crippling meth addiction, leaving my pedophillic molestor father with sole custody. i wish she HAD got an abortion, everyone would have had a better life if she did, myself by not being subjected to all that"

[nelsonakis]