i'm walkin here.

it's better to feel pain than nothing at all agent john doggett of the x-files by seashell

[agentdoggett]

flyingupward‌:

       her eyes lift to meet his and it’s incredible, really, how he still has the same effect on her all these years later. she follows his hand as it takes her wrist, and slowly, she turns it so her fingers are interlocked with his. they can’t be together, now more than ever, not now that she’s A MONSTER AND A TRAITOR. no, john doggett is too good to be with someone like her. maybe he always has been. maybe something in him knew, all those nights ago when she’d given him every opportunity. maybe he’d seen then what she’s seeing now. ❝ no one else can, ❞ she says softly, ❝ when….he came to me, ❞ she can’t even say his name, ❝ i knew that it had to be me. i knew i’d have to live with myself and…i could deal with that, just knowing i was able to SPARE the rest of you. and now i can keep helping. so i will. ❞

oh. their fingers interlock and the breath leaves his body. after all these years, you’d think he’d be less obvious about it. he’s not. he’s just a fool. he’s always been a little bit more of a fool around her. “you’ve got help now.” he doesn’t let go of her hand. “you don’t gotta do it by yourself. mon, you don’t, alright? it’s not sparing the rest of us if you’re out there getting hurt. maybe you think you gotta live with having worked with him, but i’ve gotta live with not even knowing about it.” 

[agentdoggett]

flyingupward‌:

       ❝ no. ❞ her voice is firm, a flash of panic in her eyes. even if it would work, she wouldn’t let him. she feels like being william’s conduit is her penance. she can help the boy she cares for and, through the pain, maybe the universe is having her SERVE HER SENTENCE. for betraying them, for joining the man they all hated so much, even if her intentions were noble. monica will carry her own pain for the rest of her life, but for william ? she can help. ❝ it has to be someone…like him. ❞ she winces when she says it, another reminder that she’s different now, tainted, quite literally in a way. ❝ I CAN HANDLE IT, john. i’ll be okay. we’ve got a system worked out, more or less. ❞

     “i don’t like it. you or him in pain.” the words someone like him sit heavy in john’s chest. he is not a part of this, not like she is, not like william is - but he’ll be damned if he doesn’t do his best to protect them either way. if he can be nothing better than a hired hand, a protector, then that’s what he’s going to be. he’ll see them through to the other side: wherever that is, and whoever they might be at the end of it. still his hands want to reach out and brush her hair back - this right that is not his, not really, not anymore. he reaches out for her wrist when she winces instead. “you can handle a lot. don’t mean you should.” 

[starbuckskeptic]

       ❝ THE BELIEVER. ❞ she offers a huff of a laugh, despite herself. oh, if only mulder were here to hear that. if only mulder were here for a lot of things. it makes her smile, imagining the shit-eating grin on his face if he’d heard doggett call her that, and for now that’s enough. ❝ you know, agent doggett, there’s a fine line between BELIEVING and just…not not believing anymore. ❞

@agentdoggett​ from here

[agentdoggett]

     “you believe.” it’s as simple as that, isn’t it? dana believes. john does not, cannot, but he must not be that far off, because she’s smiling. “oh, and i assume you’re the one straddling that fine line, right? look, it’s just ... not my thing to believe in. you, monica, mulder. that’s your thing.” 

[mechaniciq]

FAMILIAR ,           i SWEAR that I know this feeling …

[agentdoggett]

                                                  she’s got you. 

                                                happy quinn & john doggett 

[atramentotm]

                                          you are gonna be                                                  G  R  E  A  T                                          as husband and wife. 

[agentdoggett]

❝ If I told you a secret, would you be able to keep it? Really, truly you would keep it? ❞ happy

“Sweetheart, I’m your friend. Whatever you tell me stays between you and me. That’s a promise.” / @mechaniciq

[agentdoggett]

“that was sarcasm. and this is sharkcasm - i just hate eating people.” merri

“I know everyone likes to tell you you inherited your father’s sense of humor, but you remind me of your Uncle Sly every day. Don’t eat people, Mer. That’s cannibalism.” 

[agentdoggett]

*whispered* “Oh for fucks sake.”

“Hey, this is far out of my realm of expertise. I am far out of the realm of shit I know.” He has been for months, thank you very much. The list of things John has seen and the list of things he isn’t willing to believe are unfortunately overlapping circles. “This one’s all on you, as the believer of this partnership.” 

[agentdoggett]

“Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well.” (from monica..............)

“I know you’re trying to prove a point to me here, but you’re just starting to sound like a skipping record.” 

[agentdoggett]

“I don’t need supervision.” (from mister fox moldy himself)

“You don’t need supervision like a five year old Sourpatch addict doesn’t need a dentist.” His eyebrows are raised at Mulder, arms crossed as he stares him down. “This wasn’t how I was planning spending my evening either, but this was a direct order from AD Skinner. Now, I’ve got Jenga, Apples to Apples, and something called Big Foot the game.” 

[agentdoggett]

Staring At Your Friend: a novel by Doggett and Scully and Monica. 

[agentdoggett]

i came across this again and honestly … 

[katasstrophee-deactivated201906]

You glad?     You got what you wanted?         You know I didn’t.

[leikamei]

[agentdoggett]

@flyingupward​ / here

“I’ve got a bit of an idea.” a decade of not seeing her. a decade of not knowing if she was alive and if he would even know, if she wasn’t. wondering if he’d spend the next few decades of his life fearing she was gone or worse, and never knowing for sure. but now? now she’s got her face pressed into his shoulder, and his arms are around her, fingers running through her hair. “can i get that in writing?” 

[agentdoggett]

“You make me simultaneously make me the happiest I’ve ever been and the most upset I’ve ever been. It depends on the day.” ( mon )

“I’ve been told I have that effect.” Eyes crinkle, one brow raises. He’s been reliably informed of that fact mostly by her. “What kind of day is today?”