Space War Go Bad

(NO MINORS) (She/Her) Commander Graves of the Terran Cosmic Navy Battle Fleet, Anchor Station 13. (Get me the hell out of this country.) Hit my Space Microsoft Teams with questions about the space war, working for the Accord, or anything else. DMs open to any and all, including the wretched enemy (if you’re reading this please stop domesticating my spies)

[agonizedspacetrooper]

Hi can I meow at you?

Yeah sure

[sappy-red-algae]

Can you really make me one of those ancient fighter jets to try and fly? I don’t have much besides archival footage. I doubt the documents even still exist for something hundreds of years old like that.

Gimme a date! The Office of Rituals and Records' archival branch should have some recreations of some!

[adriftfighterpilot]

Uh.. of the top of my head.. 19…60 something? Yeah, it’s REALLY old. Wouldn’t be surprised if there’s nothin’ but old videos of it now. It’s an ancestor of my fighter, actually. Called a MiG-21.

[funny-trans-girl]

While Rosemary and I do not like that they are weapons built for war, we do find ancient atmospheric fighter craft to be somewhat interesting. Personally we are fans of the Mikoyan MiG-27, Sukhoi Su-25, and the Grumman F-14. Although we do not actually know very much about these craft, we just generally find them to be "cool."

[adriftfighterpilot]

Aw, fuck yeah! You get it. God, the wings on the MiG 27 are sexy, love the shape of ‘em. And you can’t hate a good ground attack craft.. But when it comes to western designs, I prefer that F-4. Heh. Surprised someone else out there knows about fighters that old.

Terra forever.

[funny-trans-girl]

Ah, I cannot believe we forgot to mention the F-4, it is such an iconic craft. Also yes, the wings are also what is the primary draw of the MiG-27 for us too.

[adriftfighterpilot]

I gotta show you my fighter sometime if you want. U-uh.. well, unless you saw it on the prowler.

[agonizedspacetrooper]

The f-4 and the mig-27 are such goated airplanes fuck. Anything with that boxy wing design I’m just in love. If you can get the evil plants to 3d print you an SR-71 I will pay you somehow for it. I don’t know how because we’re so broke but I’ll find a way.

[aurum-dawn-second-floret]

those are such lovely planes ^-^ but i think id get in trouble if i tried to sell anything.... but ill totally get you one if i can anyways!

[agonizedspacetrooper]

Elaborate, Dog-Creature… what would you like in exchange for the plane.

[sappy-red-algae]

Cutie, selling goods is a nono in the compact! We are post-scarcity and have ways to print matter, so capitalism is a defunct, hurtful system that must not be brought back. We can gift you the atmospheric aircrafts Though!

[agonizedspacetrooper]

What happened to the dog I was speaking to. Did you blow them up for trying to smuggle me an airplane?

[sappy-red-algae]

Not at all cutie! She just wanted to bite one of my vines for fun

[agonizedspacetrooper]

I find that footage of you poisoning some dog homunculus extremely disturbing. This is exactly why I’m still fighting. Your cruelty to the many weird beasts of this galaxy will not go unpunished. Affini blood (or blood equivalent) will run down my arms and every bee will be liberated. Mark my words.

[sappy-red-algae]

Cutie she's not poisoned! @aurum-dawn-second-floret can tell you herself!

[agonizedspacetrooper]

You have told the truth in this instance, wicked kudzu…

[agonizedspacetrooper]

Commander Graves!

I could not help but notice your recent ballot on how to handle the military brass. As your self-appointed mysterious but approachable tactical advisor, I must warn you! Handing over a member of the admiralty to the enemy would be a very bad idea! With their advanced interrogation techniques, they would likely divulge information detrimental to the effort in your sector to the Affini!

For that reason, I come to you with a potential solution... one that allows for the continuation of democratic solutions, without the risk of an international incident!

That is right, Commander Graves! I come to you with the only solution to preserve your sectors dignity and military integrity!

You must commit voter fraud! Simply ignore those in favor of military intelligence for the enemy, and choose the second option! In fact, if current trends hold, I even have potential reading material for the option of deception against high command! Have you ever hold of the Earth-Era espionage classic "Steamed Hams"? It may be worth perusing for inspiration.

I truly have thought of everything! No, your continued good health is more than enough -- the praise is unnecessary!

Godspeed and Terra Invicta!

Ok Trooper you might be cooking here. That dude probably knows information about other installations and hanging him over could risk that. On the other hand he’s probably a corpo moron so he might notice been paying any attention…

I’ve researched this ancient espionage technique you speak of. I find it enticing.

I’m gonna let the votes roll in a little longer before doing anything. He’s still in transit for a while but I’ll keep you all in the loop…

Terra Invicta to you as well, mysterious but approachable tactical advisor.

[agonizedspacetrooper]

FUCK high command looked at the demographics of my base and now they’re asking why over the course of a month; 90% of the male population vanished and how I somehow recruited an equal number of ladies with the same last names.

They’re sending a “corporate auditor” out here soon. I didn’t even know this station was technically corporate property. We are so fucked if they find out my troops are using alien bullshit to transition. uuuuuugggggh I SWEAR TO GOD ITS LIKE THESE GUYS WANT TO LOSE THE FUCKING SPACE WAR!

Okay fuck it ten likes and I slime this dude out the second he hits the base.

Station Defense Method:

Raygun w a switch

Annihilate him with object #7

Give him to the Affini (Fate worse than death)

Lock-in. Deny everything. Gaslight him.

Remaining time: 5 days 23 hours

[sappy-red-algae]

Can you really make me one of those ancient fighter jets to try and fly? I don’t have much besides archival footage. I doubt the documents even still exist for something hundreds of years old like that.

Gimme a date! The Office of Rituals and Records' archival branch should have some recreations of some!

[adriftfighterpilot]

Uh.. of the top of my head.. 19…60 something? Yeah, it’s REALLY old. Wouldn’t be surprised if there’s nothin’ but old videos of it now. It’s an ancestor of my fighter, actually. Called a MiG-21.

[funny-trans-girl]

While Rosemary and I do not like that they are weapons built for war, we do find ancient atmospheric fighter craft to be somewhat interesting. Personally we are fans of the Mikoyan MiG-27, Sukhoi Su-25, and the Grumman F-14. Although we do not actually know very much about these craft, we just generally find them to be "cool."

[adriftfighterpilot]

Aw, fuck yeah! You get it. God, the wings on the MiG 27 are sexy, love the shape of ‘em. And you can’t hate a good ground attack craft.. But when it comes to western designs, I prefer that F-4. Heh. Surprised someone else out there knows about fighters that old.

Terra forever.

[funny-trans-girl]

Ah, I cannot believe we forgot to mention the F-4, it is such an iconic craft. Also yes, the wings are also what is the primary draw of the MiG-27 for us too.

[adriftfighterpilot]

I gotta show you my fighter sometime if you want. U-uh.. well, unless you saw it on the prowler.

[agonizedspacetrooper]

The f-4 and the mig-27 are such goated airplanes fuck. Anything with that boxy wing design I’m just in love. If you can get the evil plants to 3d print you an SR-71 I will pay you somehow for it. I don’t know how because we’re so broke but I’ll find a way.

[aurum-dawn-second-floret]

those are such lovely planes ^-^ but i think id get in trouble if i tried to sell anything.... but ill totally get you one if i can anyways!

[agonizedspacetrooper]

Elaborate, Dog-Creature… what would you like in exchange for the plane.

[sappy-red-algae]

Cutie, selling goods is a nono in the compact! We are post-scarcity and have ways to print matter, so capitalism is a defunct, hurtful system that must not be brought back. We can gift you the atmospheric aircrafts Though!

[agonizedspacetrooper]

What happened to the dog I was speaking to. Did you blow them up for trying to smuggle me an airplane?

[sappy-red-algae]

Not at all cutie! She just wanted to bite one of my vines for fun

[agonizedspacetrooper]

I find that footage of you poisoning some dog homunculus extremely disturbing. This is exactly why I’m still fighting. Your cruelty to the many weird beasts of this galaxy will not go unpunished. Affini blood (or blood equivalent) will run down my arms and every bee will be liberated. Mark my words.

[unfunny-trans-girl]

What if we don't wanna be "liberated"?

[agonizedspacetrooper]

Then you are more than welcome to hitch a ride with whatever’s left of the Compact military as they retreat back to whatever hellhole they crawled out of.

[unfunny-trans-girl]

Mrauww um, i uh

I was gonna respond to this but it made my little flort brain hurty... :(

[agonizedspacetrooper]

Uhh lemme simplify it: We won’t shoot you or capture you.

[sappy-red-algae]

Can you really make me one of those ancient fighter jets to try and fly? I don’t have much besides archival footage. I doubt the documents even still exist for something hundreds of years old like that.

Gimme a date! The Office of Rituals and Records' archival branch should have some recreations of some!

[adriftfighterpilot]

Uh.. of the top of my head.. 19…60 something? Yeah, it’s REALLY old. Wouldn’t be surprised if there’s nothin’ but old videos of it now. It’s an ancestor of my fighter, actually. Called a MiG-21.

[funny-trans-girl]

While Rosemary and I do not like that they are weapons built for war, we do find ancient atmospheric fighter craft to be somewhat interesting. Personally we are fans of the Mikoyan MiG-27, Sukhoi Su-25, and the Grumman F-14. Although we do not actually know very much about these craft, we just generally find them to be "cool."

[adriftfighterpilot]

Aw, fuck yeah! You get it. God, the wings on the MiG 27 are sexy, love the shape of ‘em. And you can’t hate a good ground attack craft.. But when it comes to western designs, I prefer that F-4. Heh. Surprised someone else out there knows about fighters that old.

Terra forever.

[funny-trans-girl]

Ah, I cannot believe we forgot to mention the F-4, it is such an iconic craft. Also yes, the wings are also what is the primary draw of the MiG-27 for us too.

[adriftfighterpilot]

I gotta show you my fighter sometime if you want. U-uh.. well, unless you saw it on the prowler.

[agonizedspacetrooper]

The f-4 and the mig-27 are such goated airplanes fuck. Anything with that boxy wing design I’m just in love. If you can get the evil plants to 3d print you an SR-71 I will pay you somehow for it. I don’t know how because we’re so broke but I’ll find a way.

[aurum-dawn-second-floret]

those are such lovely planes ^-^ but i think id get in trouble if i tried to sell anything.... but ill totally get you one if i can anyways!

[agonizedspacetrooper]

Elaborate, Dog-Creature… what would you like in exchange for the plane.

[sappy-red-algae]

Cutie, selling goods is a nono in the compact! We are post-scarcity and have ways to print matter, so capitalism is a defunct, hurtful system that must not be brought back. We can gift you the atmospheric aircrafts Though!

[agonizedspacetrooper]

What happened to the dog I was speaking to. Did you blow them up for trying to smuggle me an airplane?

[sappy-red-algae]

Not at all cutie! She just wanted to bite one of my vines for fun

[agonizedspacetrooper]

I find that footage of you poisoning some dog homunculus extremely disturbing. This is exactly why I’m still fighting. Your cruelty to the many weird beasts of this galaxy will not go unpunished. Affini blood (or blood equivalent) will run down my arms and every bee will be liberated. Mark my words.

[unfunny-trans-girl]

What if we don't wanna be "liberated"?

[agonizedspacetrooper]

Then you are more than welcome to hitch a ride with whatever’s left of the Compact military as they retreat back to whatever hellhole they crawled out of.

[sappy-red-algae]

Can you really make me one of those ancient fighter jets to try and fly? I don’t have much besides archival footage. I doubt the documents even still exist for something hundreds of years old like that.

Gimme a date! The Office of Rituals and Records' archival branch should have some recreations of some!

[adriftfighterpilot]

Uh.. of the top of my head.. 19…60 something? Yeah, it’s REALLY old. Wouldn’t be surprised if there’s nothin’ but old videos of it now. It’s an ancestor of my fighter, actually. Called a MiG-21.

[funny-trans-girl]

While Rosemary and I do not like that they are weapons built for war, we do find ancient atmospheric fighter craft to be somewhat interesting. Personally we are fans of the Mikoyan MiG-27, Sukhoi Su-25, and the Grumman F-14. Although we do not actually know very much about these craft, we just generally find them to be "cool."

[adriftfighterpilot]

Aw, fuck yeah! You get it. God, the wings on the MiG 27 are sexy, love the shape of ‘em. And you can’t hate a good ground attack craft.. But when it comes to western designs, I prefer that F-4. Heh. Surprised someone else out there knows about fighters that old.

Terra forever.

[funny-trans-girl]

Ah, I cannot believe we forgot to mention the F-4, it is such an iconic craft. Also yes, the wings are also what is the primary draw of the MiG-27 for us too.

[adriftfighterpilot]

I gotta show you my fighter sometime if you want. U-uh.. well, unless you saw it on the prowler.

[agonizedspacetrooper]

The f-4 and the mig-27 are such goated airplanes fuck. Anything with that boxy wing design I’m just in love. If you can get the evil plants to 3d print you an SR-71 I will pay you somehow for it. I don’t know how because we’re so broke but I’ll find a way.

[aurum-dawn-second-floret]

those are such lovely planes ^-^ but i think id get in trouble if i tried to sell anything.... but ill totally get you one if i can anyways!

[agonizedspacetrooper]

Elaborate, Dog-Creature… what would you like in exchange for the plane.

[sappy-red-algae]

Cutie, selling goods is a nono in the compact! We are post-scarcity and have ways to print matter, so capitalism is a defunct, hurtful system that must not be brought back. We can gift you the atmospheric aircrafts Though!

[agonizedspacetrooper]

What happened to the dog I was speaking to. Did you blow them up for trying to smuggle me an airplane?

[sappy-red-algae]

Not at all cutie! She just wanted to bite one of my vines for fun

[agonizedspacetrooper]

I find that footage of you poisoning some dog homunculus extremely disturbing. This is exactly why I’m still fighting. Your cruelty to the many weird beasts of this galaxy will not go unpunished. Affini blood (or blood equivalent) will run down my arms and every bee will be liberated. Mark my words.

[adriftfighterpilot]

Alrighty we’ve finished up the mounting solution for the weapon and everything’s ready to go! I even have a nice little firing range with some hollow asteroids picked out. Whenever you’re ready let me know and warp to coordinate:

[REDACTED], [REDACTED], [REDACTED]

I’ll meet you there.

understood. Kind of in a situation right now, but after that I’ll get there.

Terra forever.

[agonizedspacetrooper]

Sounds good. Is it the kind of situation you need help with or do you have it under control?

[adriftfighterpilot]

It’s under control. Appreciate the concern. I should be contacting you again soon.

[agonizedspacetrooper]

Yeah anytime. Let me know if you need evac I might have some guys in the area. If you don’t mind me asking what’s your mission at the moment?

[adriftfighterpilot]

Alrighty we’ve finished up the mounting solution for the weapon and everything’s ready to go! I even have a nice little firing range with some hollow asteroids picked out. Whenever you’re ready let me know and warp to coordinate:

[REDACTED], [REDACTED], [REDACTED]

I’ll meet you there.

understood. Kind of in a situation right now, but after that I’ll get there.

Terra forever.

[agonizedspacetrooper]

Sounds good. Is it the kind of situation you need help with or do you have it under control?

[agonizedspacetrooper]

Oh dude what the hell is OCNI up to now?

Hold on, are we back? Could we possibly… be back? So back even? John halo is that you? Humanity stocks… through the ceiling? In our hour of tribulation as we stare down a numerically and technologically superior foe could we get a noble six clutch?

Would not put it past them to have some evil lady named like Shcmatherine Schmalsey, who’s been kidnapping children and making them into super- soldiers to put down human rebels or like blow up poor Nyrinia again or something. But now they’re gonna be super cool and heroic because we’re fighting an actual alien threat.

I should get in touch with our engineering team (boot up halo reach) and see what they’ve designed for the armor (make a Terran Accord style spartan).

The only thing this country has going for it is our sick ass purple-maroon color scheme I’ll be damned if we don’t slap it on absolutely everything.

[sappy-red-algae]

Can you really make me one of those ancient fighter jets to try and fly? I don’t have much besides archival footage. I doubt the documents even still exist for something hundreds of years old like that.

Gimme a date! The Office of Rituals and Records' archival branch should have some recreations of some!

[adriftfighterpilot]

Uh.. of the top of my head.. 19…60 something? Yeah, it’s REALLY old. Wouldn’t be surprised if there’s nothin’ but old videos of it now. It’s an ancestor of my fighter, actually. Called a MiG-21.

[funny-trans-girl]

While Rosemary and I do not like that they are weapons built for war, we do find ancient atmospheric fighter craft to be somewhat interesting. Personally we are fans of the Mikoyan MiG-27, Sukhoi Su-25, and the Grumman F-14. Although we do not actually know very much about these craft, we just generally find them to be "cool."

[adriftfighterpilot]

Aw, fuck yeah! You get it. God, the wings on the MiG 27 are sexy, love the shape of ‘em. And you can’t hate a good ground attack craft.. But when it comes to western designs, I prefer that F-4. Heh. Surprised someone else out there knows about fighters that old.

Terra forever.

[funny-trans-girl]

Ah, I cannot believe we forgot to mention the F-4, it is such an iconic craft. Also yes, the wings are also what is the primary draw of the MiG-27 for us too.

[adriftfighterpilot]

I gotta show you my fighter sometime if you want. U-uh.. well, unless you saw it on the prowler.

[agonizedspacetrooper]

The f-4 and the mig-27 are such goated airplanes fuck. Anything with that boxy wing design I’m just in love. If you can get the evil plants to 3d print you an SR-71 I will pay you somehow for it. I don’t know how because we’re so broke but I’ll find a way.

[aurum-dawn-second-floret]

those are such lovely planes ^-^ but i think id get in trouble if i tried to sell anything.... but ill totally get you one if i can anyways!

[agonizedspacetrooper]

Elaborate, Dog-Creature… what would you like in exchange for the plane.

[sappy-red-algae]

Cutie, selling goods is a nono in the compact! We are post-scarcity and have ways to print matter, so capitalism is a defunct, hurtful system that must not be brought back. We can gift you the atmospheric aircrafts Though!

[agonizedspacetrooper]

What happened to the dog I was speaking to. Did you blow them up for trying to smuggle me an airplane?

[adriftfighterpilot]

Real weird and annoying that even though I’m fully aware of the things I can’t have they won’t fuck off out of my head. It ain’t exactly helping the whole misery thing. All I should be focusing on is developing bigger bombs. I guess my dumbass brain hasn’t fully picked up on the fact that we only have one purpose and no time for wishful thinking. Whatever.

Terra forever.

[3ncrypt3d-c0nn3ct10n]

A happy Trooper is a deadly trooper. You will have the things you wish

[adriftfighterpilot]

No, I won’t. I wish people would stop feeding into my delusions. There is no happy ending.

Terra forever.

[3ncrypt3d-c0nn3ct10n]

And these delusions are?

[adriftfighterpilot]

That I can.. feel the same happiness and contentment that I see others do. That I can find peace. That I can be a pretty girl and even a p-puppy. That maybe I can stop suffering every single waking moment. That I can stop being so alone. And that I can stop being such a miserable whining failure. Just.. wishful thinking. It’s better to be rid of stuff like that so I can focus on what I need to do.

Terra forever.

[3ncrypt3d-c0nn3ct10n]

Dear. That's the bare basics, puppy. Once again, a happy trooper is a deadly trooper. Your New mission, is to become puppy

[adriftfighterpilot]

I cdd don t recall you having the authority to give me orders, you know . Mmy mission is to kill the weeds, no matter what it takes.

Terra forever.

[3ncrypt3d-c0nn3ct10n]

@agonizedspacetrooper

[adriftfighterpilot]

…technically, they aren’t my commanding officer either. They do seem trustworthy though.

Terra forever.

[3ncrypt3d-c0nn3ct10n]

She has forcefemmed her troops when depressed about not being women, she'll forcepuppy you if need be

[rebel-cea-void]

"This just sounds like the weeds all over again.

If they wanna change, let them change, if they don't or they're too scared or whatever, let them be. How hard is it to respect autonomy?

- Stargazer"

[3ncrypt3d-c0nn3ct10n]

Just in Case, read this excerpt.

[rebel-cea-void]

"You say you respect human autonomy and rights, yet, here you are, arguing that it's morally good to strap people down and inject them...

Not a good look, stranger...

People aren't dumb, they can figure themselves out in their own time.

- Stargazer"

[3ncrypt3d-c0nn3ct10n]

I Support and respect sophont autonomy and equal rights, yes. However, the case here is that both Aphid and the soldier in this case, were repeatedly shunning away their wants and needs to be happy, and their lives were in threat because of this overwhelming depression. It's basicaly self harm territory. Would you let someone self harm because they could figure themself our on their own? Fat fucking chance. Besides, I do have my gripes with @agonizedspacetrooper . As for Aphid's situation, however... Read this.

[agonizedspacetrooper]

@3ncrypt3d-c0nn3ct10n What? Gripes? What did I do wrong? And @astridstargazer I’m not the one with secret police who drag people out of their homes in the middle of the night and force them to be pets, alright? I’m literally just a girl and I am way better than the plants. My solder’s reports on her own mental wellbeing led to me determining that the best course of action would be rapid tactical morale argumentation. The only downside is that now whenever I’m walking around trying to do stuff, if I get noticed by my soldiers they’ll start loudly yelling: “Oh no I really hope the commander doesn’t do the girl-needle thing again! I’d really hate that if she did that to me specifically! Especially while I’m in this conveniently placed chair. Oh no commander! Spare me!”. They do this while making direct eye contact with me and panting like a dog. I have work emails I need to respond to, man…

@adriftfighterpilot I am an extremely normal person who can super be trusted. I want to win this space war. So help me god, if scratching you behind the ears and saying “who’s a good girl” whenever you shoot someone will make you a more effective combatant, I will do that.

We are winning this space war.

[sappy-red-algae]

Can you really make me one of those ancient fighter jets to try and fly? I don’t have much besides archival footage. I doubt the documents even still exist for something hundreds of years old like that.

Gimme a date! The Office of Rituals and Records' archival branch should have some recreations of some!

[adriftfighterpilot]

Uh.. of the top of my head.. 19…60 something? Yeah, it’s REALLY old. Wouldn’t be surprised if there’s nothin’ but old videos of it now. It’s an ancestor of my fighter, actually. Called a MiG-21.

[funny-trans-girl]

While Rosemary and I do not like that they are weapons built for war, we do find ancient atmospheric fighter craft to be somewhat interesting. Personally we are fans of the Mikoyan MiG-27, Sukhoi Su-25, and the Grumman F-14. Although we do not actually know very much about these craft, we just generally find them to be "cool."

[adriftfighterpilot]

Aw, fuck yeah! You get it. God, the wings on the MiG 27 are sexy, love the shape of ‘em. And you can’t hate a good ground attack craft.. But when it comes to western designs, I prefer that F-4. Heh. Surprised someone else out there knows about fighters that old.

Terra forever.

[funny-trans-girl]

Ah, I cannot believe we forgot to mention the F-4, it is such an iconic craft. Also yes, the wings are also what is the primary draw of the MiG-27 for us too.

[adriftfighterpilot]

I gotta show you my fighter sometime if you want. U-uh.. well, unless you saw it on the prowler.

[agonizedspacetrooper]

The f-4 and the mig-27 are such goated airplanes fuck. Anything with that boxy wing design I’m just in love. If you can get the evil plants to 3d print you an SR-71 I will pay you somehow for it. I don’t know how because we’re so broke but I’ll find a way.

[aurum-dawn-second-floret]

those are such lovely planes ^-^ but i think id get in trouble if i tried to sell anything.... but ill totally get you one if i can anyways!

[agonizedspacetrooper]

Elaborate, Dog-Creature… what would you like in exchange for the plane.

[sappy-red-algae]

Can you really make me one of those ancient fighter jets to try and fly? I don’t have much besides archival footage. I doubt the documents even still exist for something hundreds of years old like that.

Gimme a date! The Office of Rituals and Records' archival branch should have some recreations of some!

[adriftfighterpilot]

Uh.. of the top of my head.. 19…60 something? Yeah, it’s REALLY old. Wouldn’t be surprised if there’s nothin’ but old videos of it now. It’s an ancestor of my fighter, actually. Called a MiG-21.

[funny-trans-girl]

While Rosemary and I do not like that they are weapons built for war, we do find ancient atmospheric fighter craft to be somewhat interesting. Personally we are fans of the Mikoyan MiG-27, Sukhoi Su-25, and the Grumman F-14. Although we do not actually know very much about these craft, we just generally find them to be "cool."

[adriftfighterpilot]

Aw, fuck yeah! You get it. God, the wings on the MiG 27 are sexy, love the shape of ‘em. And you can’t hate a good ground attack craft.. But when it comes to western designs, I prefer that F-4. Heh. Surprised someone else out there knows about fighters that old.

Terra forever.

[funny-trans-girl]

Ah, I cannot believe we forgot to mention the F-4, it is such an iconic craft. Also yes, the wings are also what is the primary draw of the MiG-27 for us too.

[adriftfighterpilot]

I gotta show you my fighter sometime if you want. U-uh.. well, unless you saw it on the prowler.

[agonizedspacetrooper]

The f-4 and the mig-27 are such goated airplanes fuck. Anything with that boxy wing design I’m just in love. If you can get the evil plants to 3d print you an SR-71 I will pay you somehow for it. I don’t know how because we’re so broke but I’ll find a way.

[sappy-red-algae]

Cutie there's no need for payment! Currency is a thing of the Past over here! I'll compile you one of those ancient relics! By the way how's your playfight going?

[agonizedspacetrooper]

You will not lure me out of my base with an SR-71 blackbird. Nice try though. I’ve had worse traps laid for me, I really do like that plane.

[sappy-red-algae]

Can you really make me one of those ancient fighter jets to try and fly? I don’t have much besides archival footage. I doubt the documents even still exist for something hundreds of years old like that.

Gimme a date! The Office of Rituals and Records' archival branch should have some recreations of some!

[adriftfighterpilot]

Uh.. of the top of my head.. 19…60 something? Yeah, it’s REALLY old. Wouldn’t be surprised if there’s nothin’ but old videos of it now. It’s an ancestor of my fighter, actually. Called a MiG-21.

[funny-trans-girl]

While Rosemary and I do not like that they are weapons built for war, we do find ancient atmospheric fighter craft to be somewhat interesting. Personally we are fans of the Mikoyan MiG-27, Sukhoi Su-25, and the Grumman F-14. Although we do not actually know very much about these craft, we just generally find them to be "cool."

[adriftfighterpilot]

Aw, fuck yeah! You get it. God, the wings on the MiG 27 are sexy, love the shape of ‘em. And you can’t hate a good ground attack craft.. But when it comes to western designs, I prefer that F-4. Heh. Surprised someone else out there knows about fighters that old.

Terra forever.

[funny-trans-girl]

Ah, I cannot believe we forgot to mention the F-4, it is such an iconic craft. Also yes, the wings are also what is the primary draw of the MiG-27 for us too.

[adriftfighterpilot]

I gotta show you my fighter sometime if you want. U-uh.. well, unless you saw it on the prowler.

[agonizedspacetrooper]

The f-4 and the mig-27 are such goated airplanes fuck. Anything with that boxy wing design I’m just in love. If you can get the evil plants to 3d print you an SR-71 I will pay you somehow for it. I don’t know how because we’re so broke but I’ll find a way.

[snaggletoothsavior]

Captain Kaufman, do you read?

I read. Is there anything you need, comrade?

[agonizedspacetrooper]

Yay! Oh awesome, it’s always so good to meet more Terran forces. I was talking to Aphid and she mentioned you pulling her out of an Affini attack. I just wanted to say excellent work, Captain. That’s no easy feat, they’re tricky bastards and their ships are better than ours so that must’ve been some solid handiwork.

If I may ask what unit were you in and what class is your ship?

[sappy-red-algae]

You're perceived!~

[agonizedspacetrooper]

Oh my god fuck my stupid chud encryption. What do you mean by perceived?

[sappy-red-algae]

You have affini attention cutie!

[agonizedspacetrooper]

Oh… great. To what do I owe the pleasure?

[sappy-red-algae]

Oh don't worry petal, you don't have debt! And if you did, then not anymore!

[agonizedspacetrooper]

You know what I mean, eutrophicated scum. What did I do to warrant your attempts at surveillance.

[sappy-red-algae]

Oh, that would be deserving love, care and attention! <3

[agonizedspacetrooper]

Oh great that’s ominous

[sappy-red-algae]

Apologies, sweet pea, Never did I wish to make you feel unconfortable. Quite honestly I just want you to be Happy, fulfilled, and healthy.

[agonizedspacetrooper]

Oh I’m not uncomfortable, frankly I’ve never been happier in this position. The money is up, the birds can talk, I have like four military schemes in my back pocket, I forcefem my troops whenever they’re about to turn traitor. Things are looking better than they’ve been in years. We’re even bridging the massive ordinance gap between us and the fleets we’re up against. Sector 13 is chugging along nicely.

[sappy-red-algae]

Cute! Good luck in your enrichment activity

[agonizedspacetrooper]

Wait so what was that about me being perceived by you guys again? Is this like a threat or something? Is there a fleet nearby? Are you guys about to jump us and you’re sending this message as a kind of war-cry to throw us off?

[sappy-red-algae]

Petal, Why would we go on war with cute little sophonts like you? You wouldn't wage wars against cats right? You would take them to a vet, vaccinate them, give them care, and Release them in a safe environment, right?

[agonizedspacetrooper]

Aaaaalright c’mon don’t give me that. That’s like exactly what I would say to someone before smacking the shit out of them with a megadeath fleet. You’re also like the third affini to give me the cat allegory thing, did you guys coordinate this?

I understand your propaganda plenty, I’m just curious as to what I’ve done personally to warrant attention specifically on my sorry ass.

[sappy-red-algae]

Cutie, again, it'd be simply that you deserve Love, care and Attention <3! However, again, this is a rescue mission, not a war. I would never wish to hurt petals like you!

[agonizedspacetrooper]

Oh my god while we were talking you slimed out like every single Terran I was talking to. God fucking damn it.

[sappy-red-algae]

Cutie they're not dead, nor domesticated. Ask Lars!

[agonizedspacetrooper]

I have not heard anything back from that guy those people are super duper dead. I had @1c3br34k3r on the line a while ago and he also said you nailed the Crawler with all hands including the fighter pilot. You’ll pay you invasive bastard.

[snaggletoothsavior]

It’s called the Nebula Prowler, not the Crawler. Lol. Also, we’re okay. No weeds in the ship. We’re pretty much free.

[agonizedspacetrooper]

My apologies, captain. I’ve frantically yelled at a lot of ships on this radio I start to get the names mixed up after a while. This has caused significant problems for command and control.

Anyway, how? They had you! They completely had you! They must’ve put something in your brain or spine or something. Isn’t @adriftfighterpilot dead? At one point all we heard on comms was gunfire.

[adriftfighterpilot]

Sorry to disappoint, jackass, I’m still breathin’. For now. Heh.

Terra forever.

[agonizedspacetrooper]

How am I a jackass? I’m happy you’re alive, I just threatened acts of vengeance against an evil plant to avenge the Prowler like four messages above this one cause I thought you guys got blown up.

[adriftfighterpilot]

Sorry, sorry. Force a habit. Just teasin’. Glad to hear from you too, my bad.

[agonizedspacetrooper]

Ah gotcha no worries. Just wanted to make sure I’m not being accused of treason. Hey also a mutual acquaintance of ours got in contact with me about the fact that the icebreaker is about to rupture and explode and asked if I could give you guys a new ride. We’ve got a couple spare ships kicking around and plenty of spare parts. Nothing top-of-the-line but the filtration isn’t full of like lead. I can shoot you the coordinates if you and the rest of the crew of the icebreaker is interested.

[adriftfighterpilot]

Mutual acquaintance..? Who, Lars? I mean, hey, I ain’t gonna turn down a free ship. We’re kinda.. uh.. occupied at the moment though. I’ll have to get back to you.

Terra forever, comrade.

[agonizedspacetrooper]

Oh it’s this like computer-thing-person? They’re named bayleaf. I think they might only know ripple actually I don’t really know. Just keep me in the loop. I need a reason to get off this station anyway I’d be happy to FTL over to you guys to drop off a ship. It probably won’t be a good ship but it’ll run.

[snaggletoothsavior]

Captain Kaufman, do you read?

I read. Is there anything you need, comrade?

[agonizedspacetrooper]

Yay! Oh awesome, it’s always so good to meet more Terran forces. I was talking to Aphid and she mentioned you pulling her out of an Affini attack. I just wanted to say excellent work, Captain. That’s no easy feat, they’re tricky bastards and their ships are better than ours so that must’ve been some solid handiwork.

If I may ask what unit were you in and what class is your ship?

[sappy-red-algae]

You're perceived!~

[agonizedspacetrooper]

Oh my god fuck my stupid chud encryption. What do you mean by perceived?

[sappy-red-algae]

You have affini attention cutie!

[agonizedspacetrooper]

Oh… great. To what do I owe the pleasure?

[sappy-red-algae]

Oh don't worry petal, you don't have debt! And if you did, then not anymore!

[agonizedspacetrooper]

You know what I mean, eutrophicated scum. What did I do to warrant your attempts at surveillance.

[sappy-red-algae]

Oh, that would be deserving love, care and attention! <3

[agonizedspacetrooper]

Oh great that’s ominous

[sappy-red-algae]

Apologies, sweet pea, Never did I wish to make you feel unconfortable. Quite honestly I just want you to be Happy, fulfilled, and healthy.

[agonizedspacetrooper]

Oh I’m not uncomfortable, frankly I’ve never been happier in this position. The money is up, the birds can talk, I have like four military schemes in my back pocket, I forcefem my troops whenever they’re about to turn traitor. Things are looking better than they’ve been in years. We’re even bridging the massive ordinance gap between us and the fleets we’re up against. Sector 13 is chugging along nicely.

[sappy-red-algae]

Cute! Good luck in your enrichment activity

[agonizedspacetrooper]

Wait so what was that about me being perceived by you guys again? Is this like a threat or something? Is there a fleet nearby? Are you guys about to jump us and you’re sending this message as a kind of war-cry to throw us off?

[sappy-red-algae]

Petal, Why would we go on war with cute little sophonts like you? You wouldn't wage wars against cats right? You would take them to a vet, vaccinate them, give them care, and Release them in a safe environment, right?

[agonizedspacetrooper]

Aaaaalright c’mon don’t give me that. That’s like exactly what I would say to someone before smacking the shit out of them with a megadeath fleet. You’re also like the third affini to give me the cat allegory thing, did you guys coordinate this?

I understand your propaganda plenty, I’m just curious as to what I’ve done personally to warrant attention specifically on my sorry ass.

[sappy-red-algae]

Cutie, again, it'd be simply that you deserve Love, care and Attention <3! However, again, this is a rescue mission, not a war. I would never wish to hurt petals like you!

[agonizedspacetrooper]

Oh my god while we were talking you slimed out like every single Terran I was talking to. God fucking damn it.

[sappy-red-algae]

Cutie they're not dead, nor domesticated. Ask Lars!

[agonizedspacetrooper]

I have not heard anything back from that guy those people are super duper dead. I had @1c3br34k3r on the line a while ago and he also said you nailed the Crawler with all hands including the fighter pilot. You’ll pay you invasive bastard.

[snaggletoothsavior]

It’s called the Nebula Prowler, not the Crawler. Lol. Also, we’re okay. No weeds in the ship. We’re pretty much free.

[agonizedspacetrooper]

My apologies, captain. I’ve frantically yelled at a lot of ships on this radio I start to get the names mixed up after a while. This has caused significant problems for command and control.

Anyway, how? They had you! They completely had you! They must’ve put something in your brain or spine or something. Isn’t @adriftfighterpilot dead? At one point all we heard on comms was gunfire.

[adriftfighterpilot]

Sorry to disappoint, jackass, I’m still breathin’. For now. Heh.

Terra forever.

[agonizedspacetrooper]

How am I a jackass? I’m happy you’re alive, I just threatened acts of vengeance against an evil plant to avenge the Prowler like four messages above this one cause I thought you guys got blown up.

[adriftfighterpilot]

Sorry, sorry. Force a habit. Just teasin’. Glad to hear from you too, my bad.

[agonizedspacetrooper]

Ah gotcha no worries. Just wanted to make sure I’m not being accused of treason. Hey also a mutual acquaintance of ours got in contact with me about the fact that the icebreaker is about to rupture and explode and asked if I could give you guys a new ride. We’ve got a couple spare ships kicking around and plenty of spare parts. Nothing top-of-the-line but the filtration isn’t full of like lead. I can shoot you the coordinates if you and the rest of the crew of the icebreaker is interested.