A. Hayden Hale

[ahaydenhale]

Don't

Don't.

Don't tell them you're awake.

Won't.

Won't tell them you don't sleep.

Can't.

Can't tell them you're tired.

Haven't.

Haven't forgotten the nightmares.

Shouldn't.

Shouldn't let the terrors win.

Wouldn't.

Wouldn't tell anyone that I'm scared of the dark.

Couldn't.

Couldn't say why pitch black opens these scars.

[ahaydenhale]

Today

Why is today any different

Why should you treat it unlike the past

What is so wrong

That you have to put up your key

And lock yourself in a trap

Why is today any different

What makes it unlike the rest

You've had your worst possible days

You've had your worst possible emotions

You've felt like you couldn't breathe

Like your emotions were flooding you

Why is today any different

Maybe you moved on

Maybe you didn't

Maybe times just got too hard to control

Why is today any different

Why can't you continue on

When you were six your favorite pet died

You couldn't imagine worse

Why did you move on then

Why did you push on forward

Why is today any different

When you were twelvevyou started puberty

And all the kids were mocking you

It was the worst possible day you could imagine

Why is today any different

Why could you go on day by day

Why were you able to keep on going then

Why is today any different

When you were 16 gave your heart away

But it was broke it in half

You were left with the consequences

You didn't know how to fix it

It felt like you were ruined

There was no way out

There was no solution

So why is today any different

Why could you go one then

Why can't you now

Why is today any different

Yesterday was the worst possible scenario

Today is the scariest possible solution

Tomorrow is the best possible gift

So what about tomorrow

Why today

And why not yesterday

Why is it any different

when you were 25 you lost your job

You lost your house

You lost your car

Your family is falling apart

You push on

You persevere

But why is it worth it

What makes that moment not as bad

Why is this the cherry on top

The crack in the skull

The break in the dam

Why is today any different

[ahaydenhale]

Every duck quacks differently but we treat them all the same. Treat people like you treat ducks: equal, feed them as a hobby, and run from the crazy ones.

A.H.H.

[ahaydenhale]

it’s a weird headspace

do you ever get into a really deep headspace

do you get a freakishly spaced out head space

the sort of headspace that changes your demeanor

the sort of headspace that you can't explain

there really is no cause for it

there really is no reason for it

it just sort of appears after loosing your thoughts

it just sort of appears when you feel numb

entirely not a bad headspace

entirely just a really weird headspace

makes you wonder if this is how drugs feel

makes you picture how free you'd feel

all your senses and notions of common sense and fears slip away

all your thoughts say is, "go, do, go, do, what if"

what if is the strongest thing to come over in this headspace

what if on a normal day is what if but in this headspace it's a plan of action

they say that you're probably just imitating what you've seen and been engrossed in all day

they don't say that maybe - just maybe - that doesn't make it less real

who knows maybe if you'd been present and paid attention to your real thoughts it’d go away

who knows maybe these are your real thoughts and this headspace just sets them free

there is no laws or black and white in this headspace

there is no correction or responsibility in this headspace

you'd probably call this headspace impulsive

you'd probably call this headspace immature

sometimes I get into this headspace

sometimes it makes me really weird

of course we like the weird don't we

of course we'd never admit to it though