Pairing: Park Jaehyung x Kang Younghyun | Jaehyungparkian
Word count: 2.8k+
Three times Person A tries (and fails) to kiss Person B under the mistletoe and the 1 time they succeed.
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This is a gift for @sixyilingjoons on twitter for the MyDaySecretSanta2018 project hosted by @Uyoo212
Pairing: Park Jaehyung x Kang Younghyun | Jaehyungparkian
Word count: 2,170
Summary:Â Jae comes to their old school with Younghyun like what they did eight years ago. He did exactly the same thing they did except for one thing
also posted on twitter
Jae lets out a heavy breath as his eyes scan the area. His gaze drops on the small frame he's holding. He caresses the glass and paint a small smile.
It's been eight years since he last set foot in this place. The last time, he's with the same person he's with right now.
He looks up to take a glimpse of the area again. âLet's go.â
He carefully takes every step as he enters the place. It's where they spent their entire highschool life--their puberty period, where they first had flings, where they first read adult magazines during class, where they first got their hearts broken, where they first fist fought, and where they built the foundation of the unbroken bond they have had.
Jae playfully kicks the pebble in front of him slowly, like how the other did it eight years ago.
âYou remember when I first dragged you here?â Younghyun asked as their eyes wandered at the soccer field of their school. âYou didn't want to because you want to play badminton or basketball instead. Yet you didn't want to leave when I told you that we should head home.â
Both of them went back to their school two months after graduation day. They want to go to every corner and reminisce everything, keep them in their hearts and treasure them forever.
âMy mom scolded me, you know?â Jae chuckled. âMy uniform was full of dirt. My face was, too.â
âBut then you asked me to play soccer the next day.â
Jae lets his eyes study the area for another minute as he recalls all the fun times they ran around the field, trying to steal the ball from each other, and dropping on the ground when exhausted.
âIt was really fun playing with you, Hyun.â
Jae starts walking again, holding Younghyun in his left hand. He halts at the tree near the wash area. He traces the familiar carving on it: JPian
He laughs. âYou remember this? Jaehyungparkian. You loved it, didn't you?â He looks at the other with a bright smile. But after a while, it turned into a sad one. âLet's head somewhere else.â
They go all around the campus. Jae voices out every memory he can remember in each place. Like how they both did eight years ago.
Jae doesn't let go of him as they go from one place to another.
They went to their old classroom where Younghyun would always fall asleep during class, write poems in his notebook, or read manga. Jae would always play games under his desk. They would always get scolded every time and were made to stand on the hallway.
They pass by the classroom where Younghyun would always take a peek to see what a senior was doing--a senior he has a crush on. And Jae would always appear behind him and try to surprise him. When the senior would look at their way, Younghyun would hide and Jae would wave a hi with a bright smile.
Jae opens the door of the infirmary. He remembers sitting at the edge on the bed at the corner when he sprained his ankle after jumping when he was playing badminton with a classmate and Younghyun immediately ran to check up on him. The sprain wasn't anything serious but the worried look on the younger's face has triggered something inside Jae. It's as if a candle has been lit up or a switch has been turned on.
âI guess that was the time I realized why my past relationships, or flings, didn't go well.â He caresses Younghyun with his thumb.
He also takes a peek at the science laboratory where they were lab partners and Jae confidently mixed some chemicals that blew up.
Jae smiles as he sees the cafeteria. He recalls how Younghyun would always squeeze himself to get their food. It's always a battlefield there.
Jae does not forget the library, where Younghyun sometimes go to sleep. Or write again. He strolls around the shelves, letting his hand touch the books he pass by, until he reach the last shelf and arrive at the very corner.
He slowly pulls three books at once, the last three on the middle row, revealing a hidden notebook stuck behind the books. It's where Younghyun wrote his poems and songs. His dream was to be a songwriter.
Jae flips some pages slowly and with utmost care. He can still see how bright Younghyun's smile every time he finishes a piece. But no one would seem to give him attention. Although the younger would always keep mum about it, Jae knew about his frustrations. Who doesn't want his talent to be recognized? Or at least be appreciated a bit?
They proceed to the music room afterwards. The first time Jae caught Younghyun there, he was mesmerized. He didn't tell the younger that he knew about his little secret. Jae didn't know why Younghyun didn't want anyone to know that he plays.
The song was soothing yet sad and heartbreaking. Every time Jae couldn't find Younghyun at the library, he would always go here in silent, and he would always see Younghyun sing and play the guitar; or piano sometimes.
âShall we head to the theater?â
It was the last place they visited eight years ago. And the last place they'll go to today.
Jae's feet are heavy as he takes every step after entering the mini-theater of their school. When his eyes land on the stage, he can feel his heart squeeze.
He takes a seat as his knees are about to give in. He lets Younghyun take the seat on his left. They both face the stage.
âRemember what happened eight years ago?â Jae smiles as he curbs himself from breaking. âI was surprised, too. I really didn't know they will all come.â
He smiles softly as he plays a song from his phone. He places it on the arm rest. He listens to it as he reminisces the unexpected event that happened the last time they went here.
âYou're supposed to perform here.â
âYeah,â Younghyun smiled with a hint of sadness. âBut I couldn't come.â
âYou were so happy then,â Jae tried so hard not to make his voice crack.
The younger was supposed to sing his own composition during the school festival. But because of unfortunate events, he couldn't make it.
âOf course. I've always wanted for people to hear my piece.â
âWhy don't you play it?â
âNow?â Younghun looked around. âBut no one's here.â
âI'm here,â Jae locked their gaze until the spotlight suddenly switched on.
They flipped their eyes shut from the blinding light. Their hands in front of their faces to shield it from the light. A figure revealed itself behind it. It's their class president, Sungjin.
They heard footsteps behind them and saw Wonpil carrying a guitar, and Dowoon with a stool. The latter carefully put down the chair and the former handed Younghyun the guitar.
âWe're here,â the class president behind the spotlight exclaimed.
As if on cue, people started to fill the theater. Their classmates took their seats and readied themselves to hear Younghyun's song.
There were some familiar faces, too. Their homeroom and math teacher, his favorite, at the side with some other teachers. Their P.E. teacher, who would always scold him, was there, too. Ayeon, the senior he has a crush on. Jieun, his first ex.
Jae nodded at him and motioned him to take a seat and start playing.
âI'm nervous,â Younghyun whispered.
Jae tapped his shoulder. âDon't be. You always tell me to do things with so much enjoyment.â
âAs if it's your last,â Younghyun continued and Jae choked a sob.
He shook his head not wanting to think about it. âNot that, let's stop at the âenjoymentâ part, okay?â
But that's what Younghyun would always say. âAs if it's your last.â
When he dragged Jae to the soccer field. When they first cut classes. When they jumped in the river, still wearing their uniform clothes. Everything Younghyun has been wanting to do that Jae seemed a bit hesitant, he would always say it. âLet's enjoy this, savor the moment as if it's our last.â
Younghyun showed a tight-lipped smile and sat down. Jae went down and took a seat in the front row.
Younghyun took another glance at Jae before closing his eyes and started playing.
In the passing time
Youâre fading away now
Iâm afraid that Iâll lose you
Even in my memories
Jae bit his lips to prevent them from shaking. He kept on looking away to restrain the teasing tears to fall. No, he's not gonna lose him. And no, he's not gonna lose every memory of him.
The moments you gave to me
They were so precious
Iâll remember
Of course. He will never forget.
Jae could hear some of their classmates crying. Their P.E. teacher kept on wiping his tears, too.
Younghyun was a naughty student. But he sure brought unforgettable memories and made their highschool lives worth remembering.
Just the fact
That we were together
Iâll leave it in a deep part
Of a corner of my heart
(Iâll remember)
Younghyun was alreading shedding tears. At the last line, his voice almost cracked from trying not to cry. Jae stood up and went up the stage.
Younghyun couldn't almost continue the song but was surprised when someone sang the next verse. How did Jae know it?
In this slowly fading picture
Youâre fading away as well
Itâs sad because
Time canât be stopped
Younghyun's right hand that was strumming the guitar dropped. He stopped playing and Jae stopped singing. The latter just stood there and let tears leave wet trails on his face.
Younghyun couldn't look up. His shoulders were moving up and down from heavy breathing because of his wailing. The room was suffused with grief and tears.
Jae stops the song. It was a memorable yet painful day. He couldn't stop the time.
âAs if it's your last.â
They all knew the possibilities. They all knew that it's gonna be the first and last time they'd hear Younghyun sing and play the guitar.
He was sick. He couldn't come during the school festival because he was in the hospital.
He looks at the man beside him. He holds him again. âI lost many opportunities. And even eight years ago, I never had the guts to tell you what I really feel.â
His hands softly brush the countenance of the other. âI love you,â he sobs.
Jae is now a successful singer. He became one to fulfill Younghyun's dream. âI want my pieces to be heard. Sing them for me.â
Jae's songs were all written by Younghyun. The latter gave him a couple of notebooks with his works when they went back to the hospital after visiting their school eight years ago.
Yesterday, I'll Remember, the song they sang here, was released. He went back here with him to reminisce once again, celebrate their victory, and get Younghyun's secret notebook at the library, which Jae only remembered yesterday, too.
He did every single thing they did eight years ago. He's still with him. The only difference is, he's now with his picture and not the person himself.
Jae embraces the frame before he takes a deep breath and stands up. The notebook resting on his lap falls. He takes it and is about to walk away when he notices a page with a folded part at the top edge.
He opens it and sees his name being scribbled multiple times. Some lines that are probably potential lyrics, too. Like, âYouâre too much. Why do you drive me so crazy?â and âWhat can I do? Iâve already fallen for you.â
Jae keeps on flipping the last pages. There are a lot of lines that seem to be written in hurry. Like an idea just came and you didn't want to lose it. Maybe it was like that.
Jae drops on his seat again and holds the notebook and frame close to his chest when he sees what's written in the last page.
Everything I write is about you, Jae. I have no courage to tell you but I love you. I hope these songs and poems are enough to tell you what I feel.
I'm sorry for falling in love with my best friend. Also, I'm not sorry because that's the best thing that has ever happened to me.
They didn't hear each other say it. Younghyun didn't have the chance to know that Jae feels the same. Jae sobs some more, clutching his chest.
Yes, he won't lose him. He won't lose even a single memory of him. An even now that he's gone, he's still in his heart. And another thing to remember was added: Younghyun loves him, too.
Just the fact
That we were in love
No matter how much time passes
Iâll remember
Because I loved you without regrets
Iâll leave you inside of me
Pairing: YoungFeel // Kang Younghyun x Kim Wonpil
Word Count: 1958
Where Younghyun doubts his coolness again, just when he learned how to accept that he and Young K are the same person, because he couldnât get the youngerâs attention. And jealousy ate him up so a not-so-cool confession happened.
[ Fluff, confession, jealousy, So Cool inspired ]
As a person who loves to sleep as much as he breathes, Younghyun doesnât groan when the alarm goes off today. He just slowly flips his eyes open, rolls over, and heaves a sigh. He hasnât gotten much sleep because of all the thinking he did last night. Still, he canât pull himself back to the land of dreams.
During the preparation period for their comeback, Remember Us: Youth Part 2, heâd always stay up late. Until now (Itâs already a week since their comeback). Sometimes, he'd do it intentionally; often times, unintentionally. When he'd be drown in his thoughts, heâd just have a staring contest with the ceiling of his room. When he doesnât want to think of anything, he'd watch One Piece in his large TV that he bought--turning the lights that came with it for his movie-watching sessions.
Heâs been clouded by uninvited and semi-wanted thoughts. But thankfully, new songs were made because of them. One was even written during his whole taxi-ride on his way to the dorm--which only took, more or less, an hour.
He finally gets up and plays Coldplayâs Viva La Vida, the song he'd always play when he starts something new (even starting another day), before he strides towards the bathroom. When he sees his reflection on the mirror, he canât help but remember one of their songs--So Cool. He acknowledges that heâs good looking. He has gained more trust and confidence, too. Of course, MyDays helped a lot.
He used to think that Young K was the cool one, and Younghyun couldnât do what Young K could.
âKang Younghyun isnât that great. Heâs really a weak guy, and not strong at all,â He remembers saying it last year. âThe Young K who stands on the stage should have the side I cannot have.â
He sure had changed. He even thanked his self for spending his youth amazingly, awesomely.
But just few days after their comeback, he began questioning about his coolness again. Isnât he cool enough? Canât he see him?
He washes his face and wipes it with a face towel. He almost jumped in surprise to see someone elseâs reflection on the mirror.
âMorning, Hyung,â Wonpil shows a closed-lip smile. âCoffee?â
âUhh,â he puts the towel aside before looking at him on the mirror again, âthanks. But Iâll probably just grab an americano at Starbucks later.â
The younger nods, showing another smile, before walking away--going to the kitchen. Younghyunâs gaze follow the otherâs figure until it disappears from his vision. He drops his hands beside the sink and let out a heavy sigh.
He remembers mentioning the youngerâs name when talking about inspiration yesterday. Well, he did say he gets inspiration from all of the members for writing the lyrics. But he also did mention that he received a lot of it from Wonpil.
âDowoon, am I cool?â he finds himself asking Dowoon several hours after.
Theyâre already in the company building; resting for a bit to go for their another schedule.
The youngest creases his forehead before answering. âOf course, Hyung!â He exclaims. âYouâre C-O-O-L, cool!â He adds a hand gesture--showing a thumb up.
Younghyun shakes his head and lets out a soft laugh. âYouâre stupid,â he teases which makes Dowoon act like he feels wronged and insulted; he starts making an expression like heâs about to cry.
âPark Sungjin, Park Jaehyung,â Younghyun looks up as he hears a voice, chanting, enters the room. His face lights up. âKang--â
âBrian!â Another voice exclaims and a figure, who also enters the room, reveals himself behind Wonpil. âKim Snake, Yoon Drum!â
âShut up, Hyung!â Wonpil hastily halts to turn around, but Jae continues to walk, causing his face to bump on the eldestâs chest. They both laugh. He instantly steps back and slaps Jaeâs arm playfully, before pushing him softly.
Physical contact.
He knows how clingy Wonpil is. He is a clingy person himself. But itâs been a while since he noticed how Jae and Wonpilâs relationship has grown. Jae is the second person, among the band,  whoâs not really fond of skinship (although he has a lot  more tolerance than Sungjin). He has noticed how the eldest became more ease with Wonpilâs touch.
During their live broadcast on V Live few days ago, he saw Wonpil putting his hand on the back rest of Jaeâs chair. Wonpil also kept tapping Jaeâs back along to the beat of their title track. He also saw him land his hand on eldestâs lap, stealing a glance at him, as if checking if he would react, but Jae didnât mind.
Throughout the day, Younghyun keeps on trying to get Wonpilâs attention. He kept on pestering him like an annoying kid (as he is most of the time). He kept being loud. He also dragged Dowoon--teasing the youngest so they would be louder.
Then he saw Wonpil playing with Jaeâs Jedi tail. He groaned aloud due to frustration. The staffs, and the band looked at him with wide eyes--surprised and concerned.
Sometimes, he couldnât really control himself anymore. Sometimes, heâd also consider talking to Jinyoung, the youngerâs best friend, but the said man is also busy because itâs also their promotion period.
Now, heâs annoyed again when Wonpil peaks at his room just to ask where Jae is or if he has seen him. With furrowed forehead, he drags himself out of the room, walking pass the younger, to get a can of beer from the kitchen.
He walks back to his room, plops himself on his bed and turns on his television. He opens the can as he fidgets on the remote control, choosing what movie to watch.
âHyung, youâve been grumpy since this afternoon.â Wonpil, although uninvited, walks inside and stops at the edge of Younghyunâs bed.
The older glances at him. âWhat are you talking about?â He sips from his can. âI was cheerful. I even played with Dowoon--and teased him.â
The younger pouts. And although Younghunâs eyes are fixed on the screen, he can clearly see Wonpilâs expression. His grip tightens on the remote and he bites his lower lip. Why does he have to be so cute?
Feeling guilty for making the younger sad, he puts down the remote and looks at him. âYou wanna play Chopstick? Or watch a movie?â
Wonpilâs countenance brighten up. His lips stretch into a smile before he crawls into the olderâs bed. âMaybe play Chopstick and whoever wins, heâll choose the movie to watch.â
âCall.â
They both put their closed hands in front of them, only the index is out from each hand. Wonpil is the first one to attack so he taps his right finger to Younghyunâs leftâs. The older lets another finger out. They keep taking turns and the game is taking longer than they expected.
When Younghyunâs right hand is back to having only a finger out, he taps Wonpilâs hand with three fingers out--making it four fingers now. But instead of pulling his hand back, his finger stays in contact with the otherâs.
Wonpil looks up at him in confusion. He stares back but instead of taking his hand away, he opens it to take the otherâs hand in his. He does it slowly and softly, as if the youngerâs hand is fragile and delicate that must be held with utmost care.
He suddenly finds it hard to breathe. He takes a gulp and shakes the youngerâs hand hastily and playfully to avoid the awkwardness.
âLetâs end this,â Younghyun declares. âIâll just let you choose instead.â
Wonpil grins and agrees instantly. He chooses Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. They both situate themselves in a comfortable position. The younger at the right of side Younghyun. And as usual, Wonpil throws a leg across the legs of whoever is beside him, and his arm on the torso. So Younghyun is caged in Wonpilâs embrace.
Younghyun keeps on picking up pieces of self-control as every minute passes. Almost half-way through the movie and the thread thatâs keeping him constrained snaps.
âPil...â He mutters under his breath. The younger hums in response. âSit up."
âHmm?â Wonpil, looking confused, glances at the older before moving his leg and arm away from Younghyun and pulls himself to sit. Eyes still darted on the screen, he lets his back rest on the bedâs headboard.
Younghyun moistens his lower lip, still trying to control himself. But to no avail, his left hand reaches for the youngerâs right forearm, making Wonpilâs body turn to him before his lips crashes on the otherâs.
Wonpilâs breathing hitches and his eyes widens. A faint smell of beer enters his nose before the older pulls himself back. He doesnât know how long--or short--the kiss was. Maybe two seconds? Or three? Nonetheless, those very few seconds, that took his breath away, are now probably the most unforgettable seconds of his life.
Younghyun lets out a mocking laugh. He shakes his head and sarcastically smiles. âI should say sorry, right?â He nervously looks at the younger, who just stares at him blankly--still surprised. âBut,â he moistens his lips, âIâm sorry because Iâm not sorry. Iâve been holding myself back for so long. I donât know it if itâs the alcohol--â he chuckles, âitâs just one can, though--or maybe the atmosphere? Or perhaps the jealousy thatâs been eating me up.â
He struggles to swallow the lump forming in his throat. Wonpil is still not moving nor speaking.
âFor someone who writes a song about being so cool, Iâm so uncool, right?â He derides at himself again. âStealing a kiss before confessing. Letting jealousy take over and alcohol enter my system before finally making a move.â His head drops. âBut damn, Pil. I know I shouldnât be but Iâm freaking jealous of Park Jaehyung.â
Wonpilâs eyebrows arch as a smile start to form on his face. âAh, baka da ne,â he intones.
Younghyun chuckles after hearing the younger sing his first lines in one of their Japanese tracks. âIdiot, huh?â He nods. âWhat an idiot,â he translates for himself. âAnd you really had to sing it to mock me more?â He teases despite the pricking on his chest.
Wonpil shakes his head. His smile wonât disappear. He reaches for the neckline of Younghyunâs shirt and pulls him towards him. He gives him a peck and quickly pulls away. His hand is still gripping Younghyunâs shirt. Their faces are just few inches apart. Â It's the olderâs turn to be surprised.
âDo you like me?â Wonpil arches his brows as he quizzes. âI thought youâre gonna confess? But I think I havenât heard you say it yet, though?â
âI am in love with you, Pil.â
âI am in love with a one cool man--he's so cool,â he pierces his eyes on the olderâs, âbut youâre claiming that youâre not? So maybe youâre not the one Iâm in love with.â He releases his hold of the olderâs cloth.
âHey!â Younghyun snaps âIâm cool. Iâm the coolest guy. Iâm cooler than Park Jaehyung with that Jedi tail. Have you seen my mullet? Thatâs like one of the coolest thing!â
Wonpil laughs a loud and Younghyun reaches for his wrist again. The younger nods at him with a small smile.
âThen, I guess itâs you whom Iâm in love with after all.â
âYou bet I am,â he grins as he plants his lips on the youngerâs again.
Even as they kiss, their smiles wonât leave their faces. It mustâve been an uncool confession for Younghyun but taking the courage to finally profess what he feels makes him proud and makes him think heâs indeed a cool guy; a cool guy whoâs in love with the cutest (and probably the coolest, too) guy on earth--or in his eyes, at least.
Day6 contents, fansign translations I saw on twitter and used:
@middeudday6, @gotdaytrash, @wonpilates, @manboobrian
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DID NOT PROOFREAD, EXCUSE MISTAKES. THANKS.
I used WPS on my laptop so the format might be different and a bit off?? Like the the last letters lf the words are separated and are on the next line instead. I'll try to edit as soon as possible. I just need to post this before i go on semi-hiatus
Alsooo~ my first YoungFeel fic. And I really need to sleep already coz I still have work tomorrow so I'm sorry if I haven't described, elaborated, given justice and more emotion to the characters and descriptions. I really didn't have an idea how the confession would go. ( I posted this on ao3 last night, so I just copy-pasted everything, including this note. lol)
Pairing: Young K x Reader, and secret :P
Word count: 1,269
Characters: Young K, Reader, minor mentions of other Day6 members, Eric Nam, Park Jimin/Jamie, Baek Ayeon
Past and present, reminiscing, happy days to happier days.
Did not proofread, excuse the mistakes
Younghyun looks at his side and meets your eyes. You smile at him as you continue to walk down the aisle. That small curve of lips you show him reaches his heart and he canât help but smile back.
As you fix your eyes in front again, he lets out a soft breath. He moistens his lips as he puts a hand in his pocket.
As your feet stride forward, his mind runs back down his memory lane.
âPenny for your thoughts?â
You flipped your head towards him because of his sudden query. You gripped the railing and straightened up before shaking your head. You darted your eyes back on the sunset.
âI was just wondering how many sunsets weâll be able to watch together,â her eyes traced the reflection of the sun on the surface of the sea. âA thousand more?â
Younghyunâs lips stretched into a smile. He drew you closer to him, causing him to side-hug you. âA million more. Or a billion more? We have eternity together so Iâm sure we would lose count.â
âEternity,â you nodded. âLetâs ask someone to put our bodies together when our time here on earth ends,â you chuckled. âSo that even if our souls are elsewhere--still together--our remains here on earth would also be still together. Now thatâs eternity,â you laughed loudly.
Younghyun almost shook his head. He bites his lower lip to curb himself from chuckling.
Now youâre walking to the path of your eternity. He looks up once again and his gaze shifts a little bit towards the right, and it lands on Eric and Jimin (both your and Younghyunâs good friends) standing, holding a mic, and singing. Thereâs also Wonpil whoâs accompanying them with the piano.
As he looks back to Eric and Jimin, who are now facing each other, still singing, another series of images flash in his mind.
âWhat do you want to be in the future?â You quizzed right after you plopped on your seat across him.
He was reading a book, probably reviewing for exams tomorrow. He stared at you blankly, trying to figure out why you asked the question out of the blue.
âA billionaire?â You chortled. âA singer? Youâre good at singing! Or perhaps a musician! You and Eric could be a duo!â
Younghyun creased his forehead. âEric is old.â
Your jaw dropped and you threw him an accusing look before playfully slapping his arm. âHeâs not old. And he doesnât really look like older than you.â
âYouâre saying we look like weâre at the same age? Do I look old?â
You laughed and threw him a piece of crumpled paper that was on the table. âI was saying that Eric just looks young. Itâs just 6 years.â
âYeah, and by the time Iâd be on my mid-twenties, heâd already be on his early thirties.â
âThat doesnât matter. Now back to the question, what would you want to be?â you leaned forward and pierced your eyes on his.
He thought for a bit before a playful smile started to form. âI want to be a father of a soccer team.â
You furrowed your forehead and it was his time to laugh.
âOnly a soccer team?â You challenged. âDo you want to add a basketball team?â
His laughter halted and he gazed at you mirthfully. He leaned forward. âIâm really so lucky to have you.â
You grinned as you drew your face closer to his. âI know,â you let out a soft chuckle before planting a peck on his lips.
Remembering those days fills his heart with warmth. Heâs satisfied. He scans the faces of the crowd. Theyâre overwhelmed. Most are all smiles and few are in tears. He looks ahead and sees Jae and Dowoon, looking more handsome and in their suit and tie, and with their hairs done. Dowoon, the one whom you think of as a little brother, is almost as red as the carpet you walked on. Jae, your childhood friend, is showing a tight smile, preventing his tears from falling.
Everything is almost a blur. Younghyun canât really comprehend what people are saying or the solemniser in the center since the beginning of the ceremony. But he hears every word that leaves your mouth when you say your vow--loud and clear--while holding the hand of the man you love the most, your eternity.
Youâre so beautiful in your white long dress that is hugging you, showing your curves. You arenât really the sexy type, yet you look so perfect in it. Youâre the most beautiful today--not just in oneâs eyes, but to everyone in the place.
Youâre beautiful like your memories together. You had little quarrels but there were really no sad days. There was comfort in silent conversations. There was security with each otherâs gaze.
"Ah, what happy days. It was like a dream. Now though there wonât be more Iâm going to leave them in the past... " Younghyun thinks and smiles silently as he lets his gaze linger on you.
âYou may now seal your union with a kiss,â the vow master pronounces as the crowd gets excited.
âGo get it, Park Sungjin!â someone cheers and everyone laughs.
The groom, Sungjin, shakes his head. He bites his lips and brushes his palm on his shaved head before sealing the marriage.
Younghyun smiles at the sight. Thereâs no regret. Sure, the period after your break up was hard. It was a very rough road. He missed you a lot. Pain and sadness engulfed him. But itâs been long. And he has accepted it for quite a while now, too.
Delicate fingers grasp Younghunâs hand. He looks at his side and his eyes meet hers.
âYou okay?â
âIâm okay, Ayeon,â he smiles at her as he intertwines their fingers. âIâve always been okay since you found me.â
He was lost. He kept on walking in circles, trying to forget you yet always find himself trying to get back to you. He didnât know what to do. He didnât know which way to go. He was trapped in a maze and he would always find himself at the starting point. But she found him and led him out of that maze.
He told her everything. She knew about you. He told her how much he loved you. She knows how much he loves him now.
Yes, thereâs no regret.
Younghyun looks at her intently. He canât believe how blessed he is to have Ayeon by his side. She saw how broken he was yet he accepted him. Now heâs whole again. She knew the risk she was going to take, the uncertainties that would haunt her, the doubts that will keep knocking on her mind, yet she opened her heart. When Younghyun entered her heart, the fear slowly faded.
She has learned how to believe in what he feels for her. She came to believe in what they both have.
Younghyunâs thumb caresses the back of Ayeonâs hand before he lifts it close to his mouth and plant a kiss on it. âI love you,â he whispers.
Ayeon nods and shows a soft smile. âI know. I love you, too.â
Younghyun squeezes her hand softly yet firmly before looking at the newly wed couple again. You sure had happy days together--days gone by. Now both of you are in a different journey for happier days youâll have in your lives.
âSomeday,â Younghyun utters softly, almost whispering. He doesnât intend for Ayeon to hear it, but she hears it still. âIt will be the two of us standing in front, sealing the vow of our journey-to-be to never ending happy days.â
--
I didn't put YoungK/Ayeon and Sungjin/Reader in the relationship/pairing because tadaaaa~! Surprise surprise! Sorry for those who were disappointed bc of YoungK/Reader expectation till the end but ended up with different people.
Also, I changed the usual "You may now kiss the bride" line.
Anyway, thoughts?
scream at me on twitter (@kohiiby) or curiouscat (daelisix) thankies
FIC MASTERLIST
CIGARETTE Sequel (read that first)
Pairing: Jaehyungparkian // Park Jaehyung x Kang Younghyun
Word Count: 7270
// smoking, make out, implied sex, mention of suicide & self-harm, more artists //
Summary: Â Younghyun wanted to give up music and go back to his cigarette addiction. But every ounce of sentiment he has pulls him back to the world of notes and melodies. Itâs not the cylindrical rolls containing harmful materials that are killing him, itâs the other cigarette of his life; the cigarette that has been long gone; the cigarette known as Park Jaehyung.
"You're here," Sungjin says while panting when he sees Jae lying on the couch of his house.
"I'm sorry I left without telling you."
"No," Sungjin takes a seat "You were dragged by that Young K anyway. That guy has been shooting daggers on me since last night. I didn't know that Young K could be one intimidating guy."
Jae smiles a little. "He's the softest guy I know," he utters as he shifts his position.
Younghyun, on the other hand, can't even lie down. He pulls his hair as he asks himself again for the nth time about why he dragged Jae to the parking lot and attack his mouth aggressively.
He can still feel the sensation of the older's tear on his hand and he remembers clearly how his heart dropped when he realized Jae shed a tear.
Tonight is one of those nights again--one of those nights wherein he can't sleep because he's filled with thoughts of the older.
Late at night I think of you
Baby, late at night I think of you.
He remembers how he intoned those words while staring at the depth of Jae's eyes piercing on his. He huffs a breath and closes his eyes, leaning his head on the couch, as he recalls what happened tonight once more.
Feeling frustrated, he stands up and gets a cigarette stick and put it between his lips. With the lighter just an inch away from it, image of Jae appears on his mind again.
He hastily takes the butt away and runs his other hand through his hair. As more images of the former silver-haired lanky man appear in his mind, he gets the pack of cigarettes and crushes it. He walks towards his room and opens the upper drawer beside his bed to get another pack and squeezes it, too, before throwing both of the cigarette boxes.
He slumps on the couch, head resting on it, and stares at the ceiling, biting his lip. He rests the back of his right palm on his forehead as he shuts his eyes. He's craving for a cigarette.
It's driving him crazy. He knows he must stop smoking already that's why he threw all the cigarettes he had. But he's craving for more than just a smoke filling his mouth just to let it out. He's craving more for the kind of cigarette that doesn't just go between his mouth but the one that goes all over it. He hungers for Jae's lips crashing his.
It's not the harmful materials in a cylindrical roll that's killing him but the absence of Jae, the loneliness that engulfs him.
Younghyun is waken up by the constant hammering on his door the next morning. He squeezes his eyes before opening it. He groans as he gets up before pacing towards the door.
"What happened last night? You just stormed out and left me," the pink-haired lady artist complains, earning a groan from the young man. "Dude, it's already lunch time," Miso pushes Younghyun to enter the apartment. She drops her bag before flopping herself on the couch. "Want me to cook for you?"
The young man yawn in response as he sleepily walks toward the couch just to lie down again. The lady singer shakes her head and clicks her tongue before heading to the kitchen.
Remembering how the blond shed tears as they kissed last night, he averts his gaze and put a hand on Miso's shoulder. The latter eyes the hand rested on her before glancing to its owner. On the other hand, Jae's jaw clenches in irritation.
Miso lets out a breath before taking another step closer to the counter. She doesn't want to keep her hopes up; she will not. She knows that the black-haired is in love with someone, and has been writing and singing songs for that someone.
"You're still going to the MuFest later?" the young lady asks as they wait in line.
Younghyun lands a glance on her and thinks about the blond. "Probably. You?"
She shrugs. "Maybe I'll pass since my part is done. I'll go on Friday though because Dean and Epik High are included in the line up."
The mention of Epik High, Tablo's group, makes him think of Haru and makes him feel guilty about not paying enough attention to the kid few days before because he was preoccupied by the presence of the slender guy, who is once again looking at them right now.
He sighs as he realizes his mind went back to thinking about him again.
"Hello?" Younghyun eyes the pink-haired beside him who now has her phone against her ear. She mouths 'order for me' at him before responding to the person who called. The black-haired nods and as if on cue, the person in front of them just finished ordering. "Now? Alright. Alright," he hears the young lady answers the phone.
They take a seat after Younghyun paid for their drinks.
"I need to go after we get our drink," Miso voices. Younghyun just raises a brow. "I didn't know we have practice today," she sighs.
"Don't mind me," Younghyun deadpans. "You're having a comeback soon?"
Younghyun sighs before sipping from his americano. His lips protrude a little because of the bitter taste; not because it is an americano but because of the bitter taste of the memory. The usual place, the usual drink. And the usual person he used to be with is also around but not just with him. He couldn't snuggle close to the taller anymore after sipping from his coffee nor give him a peck for no reason before resting his head on the older's shoulder. He wouldn't be able to hear the slender's adorable chuckles every time he does those things nor feel his arms snake around his waist.
Jae stands up out of anger after seeing Miso leave the place. He marches towards the younger as he sees him sips his iced americano. As he halts in front of Younghyun, the black-haired looks at him with a little bit of surprise etched on his face. The latter look around first before looking back at Jae. The older takes the seat across Younghyun which makes the younger furrows his forehead.
"Why are you here?" he asks in his deep voice.
Jae's eyes twitches as he hears it. His chest tingles as if reminding Jae how much he loves hearing that deep voice of the younger. But his mind reminds him that he's mad right now.
"I'm leaving," Younghyun moves to stand up but is taken aback by Jae's sudden question.
"Are you two together?"
With a creased forehead, Younghyun stares at the older. He sees a glint of hope in his eyes. He raises a brow. "What's it with you?" he responds with a tight jaw. It makes him angry. Jae has Sungjin, so why should it matter, right? Why would he ask?
Jae huffs. "What's it with me?" he chortles sarcastically. "After you dragged me and kissed me aggressively last night, what's it with me?"
Younghyun slams a hand on the table. "Look," he composes himself, "I'm sorry, okay? I know it should have not happened especially if one of us already has a lover. I mean, even if there's none, it doesn't matter, right? It shouldn't just have happened. I'm sorry. That won't happen again," he says without blinking before grabbing his drink and starts to walk to exit the place.
Younghyun remembers the feeling of Jae's tear dropping on his hand. The older must have felt so bad for being kissed, and responding to it, when he already has Sungjin. Jae, on the other hand, thinks that Younghyun just confirmed he has a lover--that he and Miso are really together.
Jae exhales a sharp breath before standing up. Fuming, he marches out to follow the younger.
Younghyun is about to open his car's door when slender fingers hastily grab his left arm and make him lean on his car. Jae rests his hand on the automobile, trapping the younger in between.
The black-haired's eyes widen while the older's are sharply piercing through them. Before Jae can stop himself, he forcefully crashes his lips to the younger's. The latter does not move an inch. Jae waits for a response but Younghyun stays still before pushing the older away.
Jae feels a pang on his chest seeing Younghyun's face inscribed with disgust. Is he that disgusted of me? Because I'm trying to force myself to someone who already has someone else? Jae bites his lip to restrain it from quivering in pain.
Younghyun grimaces. He's grossed out by himself for doing the same mistake again--letting their lips meet when the older already has Sungjin in his life.
The black-haired sighs before entering his car and speeds away, leaving Jae behind with weak knees and clenched fists.
"Hey dude!" Mark, one of Younghyun's friends in the industry, exclaims upon seeing him walking towards them. "Glad you could make it," he voices before engulfing Younghyun into a brotherly hug.
Mark reminds him a lot of Jae. He's from Los Angeles, he plays basketball and video games, he also used to have a silver hair (he now has a brown hair), and he's a little bit introverted but really fun to be with once you get to know him.
"Jackson," Younghyun shrugs and Mark chuckles, knowing exactly what he means.
Younghyun didn't really want to come back to the MuFest especially after what happened few hours ago but Jackson, Mark's best friend, bugged him a lot saying he needed to be here. Now, he's just silently wishing Jae's not around. But who is he fooling again? Every inch of him seeks Jae.
"Yeah, that," Mark hands the other bottle of beer to Younghyun before continuing and the latter takes it, knowing that the other gets red after one drink, "we want to thank you personally for taking JB & Youngjae's slot yesterday."
So they were the ones who got an emergency yesterday? "Oh no, not me. You should say that to Heesu."
"Yeah, we already thanked him this morning. Anyway, I didn't see your name in the line up," the brown-haired looks at the younger with curiosity. "You're not performing? I mean, even if you're not performing solo, your name should still be in it, right? You sang with Colde."
"You know me, Mark," the black-haired takes a gulp from his drink, "I don't really want people to know that Kang Younghyun is Young K. You know I've declined a lot of invitations to perform in public, right?"
"Yeah, but this is public. You sang Dance with Colde last night in public. So what's the matter?" Younghyun just shakes his head in response as Mark exhales a not-so-sharp breath, "But you know, it really amazes me how your songs boomed without you singing publicly to promote them. Maybe it's one of the reasons why people are also more drawn into you. I mean, your songs are masterpieces, dude. But you being so mysterious, I think that's a factor. People would want to know more about the person behind those obra maestra."
Younghyun just chortles. If he has been more honest, it's because he feels empty performing in public without Jae beside him. The crew silently begged him with their eyes for him to sing Dance. They didn't want to force him but Younghyun knew how much they wanted him to agree. And when MuFest started, and Jae was there, it made him more than willing to sing. Forget not wanting to sing in public, forget not being able to sing together with Jae because he was there--he was there staring straight at him.
"What happened anyway?" Younghyun changes the subject. He shall not think about Jae, shall he?
"Jaebum's back was in pain again so we had to have it checked," Mark tilts his head a bit, peeking on what's behind Younghyun. His eyes light up before looking back at the black-haired. "I want to introduce you to someone. He's my friend from L.A. and heâs an amazing guitarist."
The younger's chest throbs in nervousness upon hearing 'L.A.' and 'guitarist'. It can't be him, right? There are a lot of people from Los Angeles that are now in Korea who can play the guitar very well. But the moment Mark calls out his friend's name, Younghyun's knees weaken, his heartbeat tripled, and he just wants to shrink and hide in someone's pocket.
"Hey, Jae," Mark shouts, making the younger stiffen from his post. "Yo, come here. I gotta let you meet this amazing artist."
As soon as Jae halts beside Mark and faces the fox-eyed, the latter can't take his eyes off the older while the other widens his eyes feeling stupefy. The blond averts his gaze and swallows the lump forming in his throat.
"This is Jae Park, one of my game buddies in L.A." Mark introduces, resting his left hand on Jae's shoulder, "He belongs in a duo with another Park. They both sing and play guitar. I think it would be nice if you could do a collab in the near future." The brown-haired extends his arm a bit, pointing the bottle at Younghyun, "and this is Younghyun, English name is Brian, but he goes with Young K."
By the mention of 'Brian', Jae instantly darts his eyes on the black-haired with his jaw clenched. So other people call you 'Brian', huh? He feels irritated and remembering the disgust etched on the younger's face after their kiss doesn't help but it only adds fuel to his aggravation.
Mark is just standing there with a smile, waiting for the two to shake hands or acknowledge one another, but they just stared at each other sharply and coldly.
The brown-haired gulps as his smile slowly fades. "So, uhh," his eyes shift from Jae to Younghyun and then back to the blond, "he's the one I told you about--one of the most talented people I know. He wrote one of our songs, too."
Jae finally nods before turning to Mark, "I'm sorry but may I sit? I feel a bit dizzy." As soon as the other nods, Jae doesn't delay, he immediately turns his back to head to where Mark's other friends are.
"I'm sorry, Youngyun." Jae flashes a tight smile "Jae's just... Kind of awkward towards people he just met. But I swear he's a nice and a fun guy."
Younghyun nods. "Tell me more about him."
So Mark does. He moves closer to the circular high-table and starts telling the younger how he met Jae and how they became friends, how they would spend a day just playing video games and how would one rush if the other called to play ball, how they would meet at 3am just to grab some McDonald's and ride a skateboard. But Younghyun doesn't want to hear any of those. He wants something more personal.
Mark's eyebrows raise, not sure of what the younger wants. The latter sighs as he fishes his wallet from his back pocket. He takes a rectangular paper-like thing and tosses it on the circular table.
It's a photograph. A photograph of Younghyun leaning his head on Jae while the older's arms were wrapped around the younger's bust with sweet beams incised on their faces.
Mark's mouth gapes and his eyebrows raise more. "But you're--," his eyebrows furrow in confusion. Younghyun knows what he means. He's straight--he thought he was.
The black-haired takes another photo out and puts it on the surface. It's a picture of him and Jae on the stage of the bar they used to work at.
It then hit Mark. Jae is the reason why Young K exists and Younghyun is being concealed. And Younghyun was the reason why Jae wanted to go back to music with hope that he'd cross path with the person he left--that he'd be able to finally start something he ended before it even began; to make things right.
The brown-haired glances at Jae, who's talking with his best friend, over his shoulder and looks back to Younghyun, who's darting his eyes deeply on him. Mark sighs and rests his hand on the table while folding his lips, thinking what he'll do.
"But Bro, it's not really my story to tell."
Younghyun inhales deeply before placing back his stare at Mark firmly. "Please. I need to know." Seeing a hint of hesitation from the other's eyes, Younghyun holds the edge of the table with both hands. "Three f*cking years, Mark. Why do you think I hid my identity? I gambled! I was hoping that, eventually, my songs will find their way to him and he'd come back to find me, or to at least find out who that f*cking Young K is. I dragged myself back in this path with hope that it'd bring me back to him. I need to know why he left. I need to know what I was, what we were. If I'm more than just a past time or obligation," his eyes flutter as he lick his lower lip. He swallows a lump before speaking again with a voice that is almost whisper, "if he loved me because I did," his voice cracks, "and I still do--so f*cking much."
Mark massages his temple before running a hand through his hair. He's contemplating about it. There's desperation in Younhyun's eyes and voice. Jae is also an open book. He doesn't actually mind people knowing about his past. Every friend of his knows he was bullied when he was younger, they know about his insecurities and inferiorities. Even the most personal phenomena that happened to him two years ago, he's not so secretive about it. But still, Mark thinks he doesn't really have the right to say it.
"And don't tell me to ask him because he will not tell me about it," Younghyun clenches his jaw and Mark sighs as if the former just read his mind. "Mark," he demands.
Mark shifts his eyes and they accidentally land on the sight of Jaebum and Youngjae, his friends, who are whispering to each other with sweet smiles on their faces and shining eyes. Youngjae's hand on Jaebum's lap, and the latter's face screams love as he's focused on the younger. Mark remembers how he went in between the two. If he had not, will he be able to see this sight? Will these two be this happy and know how madly and deeply they are in love with each other? He slowly turns his eyes back to Younghyun. He thinks that maybe the black-haired and the blond just need a little push. Maybe if Mark gets involve a little bit, just by telling what happened to Jae, Younghyun will step on his pride, man up and initiates everything. He doesn't know why Jae hasn't done anything yet when he knows how much he loves the younger, whom his friends knew as Azi. His drunken nights were filled with stories about this guy whom he made music with, whom he helped curing his cigarette addiction; how he offered himself to be the cigarette as excuse to see the younger more and be with him; how he's afraid to cross the line because it might ruin everything they had; his what if's that still keep him hanging; how the younger literally saved him even if he was miles away.
"His mother attempted suicide," Mark huffs and squeezes his eyes, can't believe what he just voiced. Younghyun's countenance softens. "She felt like she was alone after Jae's father died from lung cancer. Jae blamed himself for it because he had not been coming home since the night he decided to pursue music with you. Every time he wasn't sleeping at your place, he was staying at another friend's house. When he knew the reason of his mother's attempt, he decided to stay beside her and change path. He agreed to study medicine but to be able to do that, he'd need to come to L.A. with his mother. The last night you spent together," Mark looks down and slowly lets out a breath, "that was the night before his flight."
Younghyun clutches his fists and bites his lip. He eyes Jae who's still talking with Jackson while Mark's eyes are back on him.
"He could've just--"
"It's not just that," Mark cuts him off, "that night, he wanted to tell you everything about what he felt towards you. He was too afraid to voice them out--what if you don't feel the same or what if you do? He was afraid that he might not be able to leave if he had told you."
They are both interrupted by the sound of the mic's feedback. The host pronounces her apology before telling everyone to let their heads have a break from the headbangers and let their hearts be in charge. She then calls for another artist. Younghyun puts his attention back to Mark as the piano starts playing. It's the start for slow, heartrending songs.
"What else?"
Mark exhales a sharp breath with eyebrows raised before straightening up. "He used to wear long-sleeved shirts, sweaters, and hoodies to cover his scars." Younghyun's forehead furrows. "He self-harmed. He attempted taking his life, too. He used to have a lot of visible scars on his forearms. Some already faded, some remained but it's not that obvious unless someone points it out. But the scar on his stomach when he stabbed himself is still there."
Younghyun is out of words. He brushes his face by his hand before cupping it. "B-but why?" his voice quivers.
"His mother lost her mind and there were many other attempts when they moved back to L.A. He was helpless. He was stressed, and pressured. Medicine isn't the path he wants, right? He felt like he was walking on a road full of burning charcoal."
The black-haired chugs the bottle in front of him before glancing to the stage where Jaebum is now standing. As Jaebum starts singing, Jae shifts his gaze to Younghyun, who looks so serious and bothered. I wonder what they're talking about. He sighs before looking back at the stage.
I don't know why I can't let you go, oh baby
Jae whips his head back towards the stage when the singer starts singing the chorus. F*ck! He squeezes his eyes shut. Yeah, I'm supposed to let him go, right? The image of Miso kissing Younghyun on the cheek and the latter's disgusted face when he kissed him flash on his mind. Yeah, right.
I don't know why I can't forget you
Your way of talking, even each and every way of your expression
That's left for me
I can't throw them away easily
It's raining again
Younghyun is still trying to absorb everything when Mark speaks again. "He tried to put up with it--for his mother's sake. Fortunately, he met Sungjin," the younger's jaw tightens upon hearing the name, "they found a common ground: music. They're both Koreans studying medicine in Los Angeles for their parents. And it's funny how they're both Park's."
Younghyun rolls his eyes and huffs. "No wonder why they're together now, huh?"
Mark puts his left hand in his pocket and nods a little. "It's a great thing. Sungjin helped Jae a lot in keeping him sane and grounded. He was also a big factor of why Jae stopped harming himself and how he found you."
"F*ck that!" Younghyun snaps which makes Mark raise his brows in surprise. "Then what is he doing here?!"
Mark tilts his head with a creased forehead, feeling confused. "To find you."
"Why would he find me if he already has Sungjin?"
"Calm down, Brian."
"Don't! Don't call me Brian," Younghyun utters with gritted teeth. "Don't you ever dare call me by that name again."
"I said calm the f*cking down, Kang Younghyun." Mark inhales as he rests his hands on his waist. "I think you're misunderstanding something here, boy. They're not together like that. They both came back in Korea for music because they're both members of the Park Bros duo. That's what, Mr. Kang f*cking 'Young K' Younghyun. So if you could please stop being stubborn, I'd appreciate that."
The younger utters his apologies and tells Mark to go on. The latter breathes in before speaking again.
"Jae's mother underwent therapy. She got better." Younghyun nods, feeling relieved as Mark exhales. "Jaebum and others went to L.A. to visit me, and small world, he's a friend of Sungjin. So JB made him listen to your songs and then Sungjin made Jae listen to it. So don't be a douche towards the guy because if it had not be for him, you won't be seeing Jae right there," Mark says matter-of-factly as he motions his head to where Jae is seated.
Younghyun glances at the blond, whose eyes are already on him. The momen their eyes meet, Jae looks down before putting his eyes back to Jaebum, who's now singing the chorus again.
"We thought that Jae just instantly got hooked with your music because he just love them so much; the songs literally saved him. You saved him. His eyes lit up when he heard your songs. He seemed like he just came back to life; he was like a messy sketch turned into a beautiful colored painting. And since his mom got better, she saw it. She encouraged Jae to go back to the path where he really belongs. But Jae was hesitant. He didn't want to leave her because what if she'd lose it again if he left? So he stayed for a couple more months until one of her aunts moved to L.A. to look after his mother. He was once again encouraged by his mom and was assured she'd be fine and when Colde's album was released and you sang Dance with him, and there's also Cigarette in the album, that's when he felt like he really needed to come back to find this Azi guy he always told us about, who turns out to be you, and tell him--"
Younghyun narrows his eyes on Mark when the brown-haired trails off. "Tell me what?"
"--everything he needs to tell you. I think I told you more than enough, Hyunnie. The rest lies on you and Jae," Mark pats his shoulder and turns his head before pointing at the stage where Youngjae is coming up on.
Younghyun follows as he exhales and dishevels his hair. As he looks up, he sees how the two artists on stage look at each other. Their eyes are conversing, telling each other their affection, before Youngjae sits down and places his hand on the piano. Jaebum nods and the younger starts playing.
I still can't believe it
That when I open my eyes you aren not next to me
Younghyun's eyes flutter because of the first lines that was intoned by Youngjae. He feels his chest tightens and as if hundreds of needles are pricking on his heart. He remembers the morning after the last night he spent with Jae and the next mornings that came after. He felt like he was going crazy not knowing where to find the older.
It's difficult because memories from back then are back in my head
And even if I empty out all those memories
Jae's head drops as he thinks about how miserable the younger must have been when he left. He bites his lip and clutches his fists as he thinks how hurt Younghyun was.
I am always drowned in thought of you
I cry and get exhausted, but I look for traces of you again
Younghyun looks up and huffs as Jaebum sings. He is being reminded of those sleepless nights he spent just thinking about Jae; all the days he consumed going to places where Jae could be.
You have to be well and don't get sick
The way you smile, don't ever lose that
Both of them think about each other's smile as Youngjae sings his part. They smile bitterly to themselves.
And if things ever get hard
You can come back to me again
When it's Jaebum's turn again, Younghyun looks up upon hearing his line. He shifts his gaze to Jae, who meets his eyes. It must have been tough. Younghyun tries to convey.
Can I come back? Jae wants to ask. Huh! Of course not, right?
Younghyun holds their stare. Come back to me. He wants to say badly.
I'm always in this place
And I won't leave you
Mark glances at the black-haired and sees him focused on something. When he looks at the other side, Jae is staring back at the younger. Mark sighs and pats Younghyun's shoulder causing the stare to break. He motions his head to Jae and Younghyun's eyes drop.
I always wait for you
"Go," Mark demands.
Younghyun inhales and looks up the brown-haired, "Thanks, man. I owe you big time."
The black-haired starts marching his way towards the older, whose eyes are now on the two artists on stage. When the older feels someone sits beside him, he hastily turns his head and his breathing hitches. Younghyun is looking at Jaebum but his focus is on his peripheral vision--Jae. The older gulps before looking back at the stage.
When Yugyeom, the youngest but the tallest among Mark's friends, turns his head and sees Younghyun, he immediately greets him. The others follow. When they introduce Jae to him he answers them that they already know each other.
"Let's catch up later, hyung" Yugyeom states before fixing his eyes back on Jaebum and Youngjae.
Younghyun nods and as soon as he sees all eyes are focused on the artists, he gathers the courage to make a move.
And if things ever get hard
You can come back to me again
I'm always in this place
When Jaebum sings that line again, Younghyun softly puts his hand on Jae's. The latter is startled. He looks at the younger's hand on top of his, expecting him to move it away and say sorry because it's another mistake, but the black-haired intertwines his fingers with his instead.
The artists start singing the bridge and they remain staring at each other, waiting who'll be the first one to speak. Mark smiles from the distance.
I again believe that you'll come back to me, why
When Youngjae sings the last line of the bridge, Younghyun encourages himself to man up.
Please come back to me no matter how long it takes
Come back to me, I don't want to let you go
Jaebum's lines push him more.
"Come with me?" the younger pronounces. His throat becomes dry and his knees weakens. He is filled with anticipation and anxiousness.
Jae folds his lips together, trying to stop them from shaking, before he nods. Younghyun heaves a sigh of relief before he tightens his hold. The older keeps on fighting with himself saying he's not supposed to be but he can't help it. Seeing their hands locked as Younghyun leads the way out, he just lets himself be pulled by the younger.
The whole drive to Younghyun's apartment is filled with nothing but clearing of throats, sounds of engines they pass by and honking of horns.
"Water?" the first word Younghyun has uttered after leaving MuFest.
Jae clears his throat for the nth time before taking a seat. The younger gets a glass right away. The older's eyes wander around the apartment. Nothing much has changed--nothing really changed. It feels like he only left yesterday.
Younghyun slowly puts down the glass of water on the coffee table. "May I?" he points at the space beside Jae despite of many other available spaces to sit on.
"Of--of course."
The fox-eyed rubs both of his hands on his lap and sits carefully but a little too close. The older takes a gulp before reaching for the glass and drink from it.
Younghyun clenches his fist before throwing himself into Jae. The latter tenses and is taken aback by the younger's sudden action. The black-haired drapes his arms around the blond's waist, enclosing him tightly.
"I missed you," Younghyun voices a muffled confession.
Jae doesn't know exactly what happened, why the younger acts this way but it doesn't matter now. What he cares about in this moment is Younghyun embracing him. He relaxes himself and snakes his arms around the younger's body. This is one of the things he loves the most: when Younghyun cuddles with him that is making him seem small in his arms; when the younger seems like a poor little child craving for affection and attention.
"Mhm," Jae plants a soft kiss on the black-haired's head, "too damn much."
The black-haired smiles softly and snuggles closer. The blond beams to himself, too, and rests his chin on the younger's head. Younghyun hums in satisfaction before looking up to the older. When the latter drops his gaze on the younger's lips, Younghyun leans forward and plants a soft peck. Seeing that the older closes his eyes, he lets their lips meet again and dance to the rhythm of their heartbeats.
The kiss is slow and soft as if they're being careful not to break one another. Jae clenches the younger's shirt, feeling overwhelmed by his desires.
"Brian," the older pronounces breathily with a little raspy voice making Younghyun's length twitch.
"F*ck," Younghyun cusses under his breath. One word is all it takes to lose his control. And hearing Jae call him Brian for the first time in three years, with that almost husky voice he has always loved, turns him on more than he expected.
Younghyun grabs the older's waist as he attacks his lips again--this time, with more eagerness. Jae's arms move up and settles on Brian's shoulders, one hand caressing the back and the other grabbing the younger's hair. Younghyun stands up, still holding the older in his arms, trying not to break the kiss but they almost lost their balance and Jae can only smile without their lips parting.
They start walking towards Younghyun's bedroom but the younger's butt bumps into the armrest of the single-seater couch. Jae chortles causing their contact to break. Younghyun shakes his head while smiling foolishly.
The younger takes the left hand of the other as they both pause just to look at each other and smile like idiots. They both chuckle before Younghyun starts walking towards his room, still holding Jae's hand, as the older follows.
When Jae sits on the bed, the black-haired starts showering him with kisses on the face making him melt in the younger's arm. Younghyun gives him a quick peck before motioning him to move further so Jae settles himself, his lower back touching the bedrest.
Younghyun pulls away and fixes his eyes on the older. The latter raises a brow in question seeing the younger's countenance softens and giving an expression he can't give a name to. He wants to lean closer and kiss the black-haired again but he curbs himself from doing so and remains still. The fox-eyed caresses the blond's shoulders with his thumb before sliding his hands down to Jae's forearms. Mark was right. The scars were healed and most of them faded but there are some that hasn't but aren't evident enough for people to notice unless they know about them. He brushes his thumb on the older's skin making him widen his eyes a bit and his heartbeat doubles.
Does he know? Jae tenses and gulps while looking at the younger. Younghyun leans down and plants soft kisses on the older's forearm earning a soft gasp from him. He knows. Jae's throat becomes dry, his chin quivers, and tears start to gather. As the younger continues kissing his slender forearms, the older's chest tightens and the tears that gathered begin to fall.
"How did you know?" Jae queries with a broken tone.
Younghyun looks up to the blond, still caressing his skin; his eyes are shining and his pupils are dilated. "It doesn't matter. What's important is I'm here with you now."
Jae huffs as he averts his eyes, blinking hastily causing another tears to fall. The way Brian looks at him is full of security and care. He feels like the younger's eyes are holding him with utmost care as if he's the most delicate and fragile thing in the world.
He casts his face down as his shoulders move heavily when he can't resist the tears any longer. "Why--" he sniffs "why aren't you mad?" He was expecting for Younghyun to be furious but he's doing otherwise. He prepared himself for everything the younger would throw at him, such as hurtful words and despiteful attitude, but he enclosed him in his arms and showered him with sweet kisses instead. It's become more painful for him but also painful in a good way. It pains him because he feels like he doesn't deserve this kind of affection towards the younger but Younghyun is enveloping his heart with warmth and assurance.
"I'm mad," Brian utters as he intertwines his fingers with the Jae's. "I'm mad at myself for letting you went through all those things alone." Jae sniffs making the younger move closer to him and encage him in his arms. "Don't ever leave again."
Jae nods between the younger's arms making him smile in certainty. Younghyun kisses Jae's head before pulling away from the hug causing Jae's chest to tighten but it melts when the younger starts lavishing his face with gentle kisses again.
Younghyun softly puts his lips on Jae's cheek, where there are traces of tears, as if trying to kiss away the pain. He does the same thing on the other side before kissing him on the chin, then on the forehead, next on the nose. He cups the older's face and stare straight on his eyes making Jae part his lips. They try to talk with each other for three seconds using their eyes and they definitely feel what they want to tell to each other. Younghyun gives Jae a peck before finally voicing it out.
"I love you."
Jae feels like breaking into tears again. He tries to look down but Younghyun's hands cupping his face are making him not to. The younger motions him to look back. Brian tilts his head and leans a little bit closer, trying to meet the older's gaze. Jae slowly closes his eyes and when he opens them again, he beams softly.
"Me, too."
"Say it," Brian demands.
"I love you," Jae pronounces while staring to Younghyun's eyes. "I love you, Brian."
The younger raises a brow and smirks, "Who's Brian?"
Jae can't help but chuckle and pushes the fox-eyed playfully making the younger drop his back on the bed. The latter laughs before sitting back up and raises a brow to the older again.
"I love you, Kang Younghyun."
Without a delay, the black-haired covers Jae's mouth with his in a passionate kiss. The older responds immediately, throwing his arms on the younger's shoulders. The kiss grew more intense and more heated. They kiss more and more thinking they'll never have enough. They're trying to compensate all those years they spent apart from each other by kissing one another more deeply and steamy with fervent urge they've never felt back then.
Fingers start dancing on each other's skin; lips start to wander around the body; clothes are being taken off. And for the first time after three years, they become one. But this time it's different. It's not like one of those sex they had--those nights when they filled each other's yearning but they're hearts were still longing for something; those nights when their moans that filled the room were accompanied by doubts, fears, unasked questions and untold confessions. Tonight, they do it knowing they love each other.
What used to be a moan-filled room escorted with uncertainties is now a love-packed room with erotic moans as its companion. This is what they've been longing for. They'd give everything for this even the world and Younghyun wants to trade the universe for Jae when he wakes up the next morning without the older on his bed.
F*ck! Not again! He hastily gets up even if his knees become weak. "Jae!" he calls out with a broken voice. When he opens his bedroom door and see no sight of Jae in the living room, he feels like breaking into tears. Was everything just a dream? His lips shudder. "Jae!" his voice cracks. He drags himself to the kitchen and falls on the floor in relief upon seeing the older in front of the stove.
Jae has his earphones on as he tries to fix breakfast for Younghyun. He is startled when a pair of arms wrap around him from the back. He takes off the earplugs and greets the younger but the latter just snuggles more on his neck.
"What's the matter?"
"I thought you left again," he confesses in a shaky voice.
The older dishevels Younghyun's hair before turning off the stove and faces him. The younger embraces him again and he just chuckles. He's being a child again. He smiles to himself.
"I will never ever do that again."
Younghyun straightens up and holds the older's hands, squeezing them firmly. "You better. It's killing me softly without you by my side." he inhales before looking up to Jae. "Live with me?"
Taken aback, Jae raises his eyebrows. He then grins and chortles as Younghyun speaks again.
"Live with me," he declares. This time, it's not a question but a statement--a demand.
Jae nods before their lips meet again and they start to melt in each other's kisses once again.
CIGARETTE Sequel (read that first)
Pairing: Jaehyungparkian // Park Jaehyung x Kang Younghyun
Word Count: 2845
// smoking, make out, implied sex, mention of suicide & self-harm, more artists //
Summary: Â Younghyun wanted to give up music and go back to his cigarette addiction. But every ounce of sentiment he has pulls him back to the world of notes and melodies. Itâs not the cylindrical rolls containing harmful materials that are killing him, itâs the other cigarette of his life; the cigarette that has been long gone; the cigarette known as Park Jaehyung.
CHAPTER 1: Photograph
Chapter 2: Dance
This was already uploaded completely on ao3, aff and twitter but I forgot I havenât posted chapter 2 and 3 here yet. So here it is.
Younghyun wets his face before staring at the mirror. As droplets of water fall to the sink, episodes from few hours ago invade his mind.
"Sungjin," Jae uttered after the black-haired hastily took the lighter from his hand and put it in his pocket.
"Oh," his friend gestured a small bow to Younghyun but the latter just looked at him sharply "I was just wondering why you're suddenly gone."
"I just want to get some air, y'know I don't like the smell of cigarette," the taller shrugged.
Sungjin, the buzz-cut young man, eyed the cigarette butt between Younghyun's fingers before nodding to Jae. "I'll stay with you here then."
"No, it's okay," Jae showed a small smile "I'll go back in a while. Just wait for me inside."
Sungjin glanced at the black-haired, who was looking blankly at the parked cars in front of them, again before nodding to Jae and went back inside.
"Sungjin, huh?" Younghyun quizzed after the buzz-cut guy left. "Your new partner?" He asked--pertaining to a lover (or an almost lover).
Jae nodded--thinking that he was talking about partner in music.
Younghyun rolled his eyes as his jaw clenched. He did not even deny it. He huffed a sharp breath. Well, I don't care. It's not like we used to be a couple. He was just my cigarette; I was just an obligation to him.
"Well, good for you," he deadpanned which caused the other to furrow his forehead.
Good for Jae, huh? Then why is it that he's disheveling his hair out of frustration? He washes his face again before marching back to his apartment's living room.
He grabs the lighter, that he got from Jae earlier, on the center table and takes his fourth bottle of beer before going to the veranda. He rests his elbows on the railing after taking a gulp from his bottle. His right thumb traces the tape on the lighter before he flips it to look at the color.
"Azure," he smiles bitterly as another memory flashes on his mind.
"What are you doing?" Younghyun asked the taller after standing beside him at the veranda.
Jaehyung shook his head and gave a tight smile. "Do you ever look at a person and think 'Oh, this color suits him'?" The fox-eyed turned to him with an eyebrow raised. "Like, when you look at me, you think of a color? Because I do."
Their eyes locked for a couple of seconds before they voiced out their thoughts. "Blue," they uttered at the same time which earned chuckles from both of them.
Jae looked at the lighter in his hand before raising it; making the sky as its background.
"They're almost the same," the older smiled as he compared the lighter and the sky before putting down his hand. "Some people may associate blue with melancholy but I see the sky every time I look at you--the sky which makes you want to spread your wings and soar the vast, to be free and to forget everything; the sky that will make you smile, because psychologically speaking, blue makes you feel at ease."
The older turned his head to look at the younger again, who was already looking at him. They stare at each other's eyes for another few moments before Jae painted a small smile.
"Or like the ocean," he continued "your eyes are so deep. Many people are scared of it, but I see the beauty in it. They're afraid of the ocean because there are many mysteries that are still unknown, creatures that are yet to be seen. But I like it because it gives me adventure and thrill. Many people think you're scary, cold and distant--especially because of your eyes," he chortled "but I like them. They give me serenity because the depth of your eyes tells me how sincere you are."
Younghyun beamed and snaked his arms around the taller. The latter laughed softly at the other's response. He liked it every time the black-haired would snuggle to his chest. It made him seem like a child. The older thought that Younghyun has the warmest heart--the softest person.
"Azure," Jae pronounced as he wrapped his arms around the younger to reciprocate his embrace.
"Hm?"
"It's a shade of blue," the older looked up at the sky once more "They said the azure is like the color of the sky on a clear day; beneath it lies the sea painted with hues of azure."
Younghyun clenches his fist with the lighter in his palm. He remembers asking Jae about Sungjin and he did not deny about him bring his partner. His jaw tightens before he guzzles his beer.
I don't care. He huffs as another images in his mind show; the image of Jae's lips wandering around Sungjin's body; the image of Jae's hands caressing the back of Sungjin's head or leaving scratches on his skin from the pleasure. He kicks the railing.
It's not like he owned Jae. It's not like he's been waiting for him to come back. It's not like he can't sleep when the taller is not around nor he is missing him. Definitely not--he tells himself.
But as he hears Jae voicing out his thoughts through a song the next evening, he doesn't bother lying to himself anymore.
'cause I don't think about you every single night; I'll be fine without you.
Can sleep tight when I'm not beside you; I'm moving on.
Younghyun smiles to himself as Jae sings a cover of an English song. The words seem familiar to him. Of course, those are the words he tells to himself, too.
No, I don't cry about you; never seen tears in my eyes about you.
Gonna be fine if I die without you; Baby, I'm gone
His tongue traces his lower lip as the older looks straight at him from the stage. Despite his hair covering his eyes, Younghyun knows they're looking at each others' eyes.
These are the lies that I tell myself at night.
These are the lies that are keeping me alive.
These are the lies.
Younghyun averts his gaze as the other sings the chorus. Remembering his lies last night, he slugs down a bottle of beer. His eyes keep on glancing at the taller, not minding the other guitarist beside him, and shift them elsewhere when he can't take the pressure on his chest anymore.
'cause the truth is, I'm about to lose it.
Don't think I can do this if I'm not with you.
He brushes a hand on his faces during the bridge. He's losing it.
"You seem uneasy," Miso, the only girl artist in the Club Eskimo Crew, sits beside Younghyun. She offers the cigarette that she just puffed.
Younghyun takes the butt and inhales from it right away. Jae hastily shifts his gaze to somewhere else before he could see the cigarette being put between the younger's lips. Even though the latter did not have direct contact with the lady artist's lips, Jae thinks he still couldn't afford seeing the black-haired's lips having any kind of contact with others.
Sungjin starts singing their original song. Jae fixed his eyes on him, still not ready to look at Younghyun again while the latter turns his head to look at the stage.
Jae faces front again, leans a little forward to come closer to the mic. Younghyun puts his eyes on the taller as he starts singing his part.
Itâs half excitement,
Half fear
Because what if
You notice
That I still miss you?
The older glances at Younghyun. Seeing the other already looking at him, his heart skips a beat and he avoids eye contact.
Do you, Jae? Younghyun tries to converse with his eyes. Do you miss me? Unfortunately, the older's sight is darted on the man beside him.
But today, I smile
Even though it hurts, I smile
Jae and Sungjin start singing the chorus. Jae looks at Younghyun's table again. Sungjin faces Jae but seeing the latter's focus is on someone else (which he noticed that the older is only looking at one direction, if he's not looking at him), he follows the blond's line of vision and his eyes land on the sharp eyes of Younghyun. He glances back to Jae before facing front and plasters a smile while singing.
In front of you
I pretend that Iâm fine
I pretend that Iâm okay
I have to
Jae lets his smile remain, too, even if he wants to pull Younghyun away from Miso so bad.
An organizer walks to the crew's table and talked to Colde. Younghyun glances in curiosity. Colde is nodding and points his right thumb towards the black-haired which causes the latter to crease his forehead.
"The line up has been changed a little," Miso whispers to Younghyun after one of the members told her what the discussion was about. "A group of artists that are supposed to perform tonight had an emergency so they're asking if it's okay with Colde to perform tonight instead of tomorrow."
Most of the artists are said to perform for two days; only few are performing for one day. Colde is supposed to be on Day 1 and 3. Other artists they know, even the ones that are in their crew, are performing on Day 2 and 4.
Although Club Eskimo is a crew of singers and rappers, a lot of them have their own groups like Tablo, who's originally from Epik High; some are solo artists like Dean and Younghyun himself.
"So, we're singing tonight?" Younghyun quizzes.
Miso shrugs, "You and Colde, yes. Same songs that he's supposed to sing tomorrow. So two solos and one with you."
As if on cue, he hears Young K being pronounced by Colde who's already on the stage. Like other artists, Younghyun got a stage name for himself, too.
I knew it. Jae smiles to himself seeing Younghyun walks toward the stage.
Sungjin, with mouth agape, stares blankly. "He is the Young K?" He asks with disbelief. "The guy you're with last night is Young K?"
The older responds with a shrug, still not taking his eyes away from the black-haired. "I guess so."
But Sungjin knows that the taller is certain about it--he knew right from the start. He knew since the first time Sungjin played a song by this new artist 2 years ago.
Now, Sungjin knows why when the taller heard 'I Would' he jumped out of the couch and asked who the singer was.
Sungjin liked the artist but Jae loved it. "I feel so attached to his music," he reasoned out. But they couldn't find any information about him except that he's from Korea and that he features in some artists' songs.
By this moment, Sungjin knows there's more; there's more to Young K being just an inspiration to Jae to go back to music; there's more as to why the older wanted to go back to Korea so bad.
Younghyun's hand is rested on the mic while he is looking at Colde who's singing. He closes his eyes and feel the cold voice of the artist from time to time. He then started singing with him, doing the second voice.
Jae can't contain his smile. It's evident that he's overwhelmed by the fact that Younghyun is indeed Young K; and the fact that he still continued walking on the path of music.
Late at night i think of you
Baby late at night i think of you
It's now Younghyun's turn to convey his feelings through a song. His fox-like eyes pierce on the tiny eyes of Jae.
Late at night i think of you
Baby late at night i think of you
Younghyun closes his eyes, pulling the mic away from him, as he let Colde narrates his sentiments.
Killing me softly
When I feels so lonely
He breathes in as he remembers how he struggles every night to fall asleep and not to think of the older but his mind loves the image of Jae.
Let me love you baby
You are so lovely
With a glint of pain on Sungjin's eyes, he shifts his eyes on the stage. "Azi," he deadpans causing the taller to face him. "He's Azi," He plasters a small painful smile.
Who would have thought that the artist Sungjin liked and has introduced to the person he likes is the same person that is the reason for his pain?
He knew that Jae wanted to go back to Korea to find this Azi guy through music. The older has told him about his almost lover; how they pursued music together, forgetting everything else, until Jae had to leave. The latter was hopeful that he'd have a place--a person--to come back to when he came back to music again.
"It's from azure. It's a color," Jae beams. "His name is Younghyun."
Sungjin lets out a breath trying to lessen the burden on his chest. He already knew that the other has his heart taken already but he was still hopeful. Now that he's seeing the one who has Jae's heart, he doesn't know if he'll continue to hope or not.
He was ecstatic to know someone who loves music as much as he does; they both play the guitar. Their parents want them to study medicine but their hearts belong to the notes on musical sheets. That's why when Jae decided to come back to his old path, Sungjin was encouraged to pursue music, too, and leave the medicine path.
When other artists perform upbeat music, the people swaying and moving slow along the other artist songs before are now grooving and jumping. The quantity becomes double.
Miso nudges Younghyun to go with her and groove along with others. The black-haired doesn't want to but Miso locks her arm with his and drag him to the crowd.
Jae sharpens his eyes to them. His forehead furrows as Sungjin taps his shoulder.
"Let's dance?" before the taller could even decline, Sungjin grabs his arm and pulls him toward the people grooving, too.
Sungjin stops beside the lady artist and Young K. He starts dancing, moving closer to Jae, while Young K gathers every ounce of self-control to curb himself from pushing the buzz-cut fellow away from the blond.
And so, the Let's Make Each Other Jealous game commences. Jae is oblivious but Sungjin is doing the job for him. Younghyun rests his hand on Miso's waist that causes Jae to avert his gaze. Sungjin holds the blond's hands and motions him to move with him.
It goes on for a couple of minutes until Younghyun loses it when he sees Sungjin being so close to Jae. The buzz-cut young man is whispering to the taller to move closer to him but Younghyun thinks he was kissing the neck of the older.
The black-haired hastily pulls Sungjin, grabs Jae by the wrist and drags him out from the venue to the back alley. Seeing that there are few people smoking pot, he proceeds to the parking lot.
His grip on the older's wrist is tight that the latter winces as he is being dragged. Younghyun pulls Jae at the side of his car, making the taller lean on it before crashing his lips unto the other's. Out of surprise, Jae pushes him away.
Younghyun breathes heavily as he stares deeply at the older. He forces himself again, trying to collide their lips. He bites the lower lip of the blond, trying to convey his aggravation, causing him to gasp. The black-haired uses that as a chance to kiss him more as he cups the face of the other.
This is not the reunion that Jae has hoped for. This is not the kind of a welcome-back-kiss he's been longing for. Feeling Younghyun's pain and vexation, a tear escapes from Jae's eye. He wonders how much the younger longed for him, how much he felt lost and alone.
Younghyun becomes startled as the tear reaches his hand that is holding the older's face. He cusses to himself as he pulls away and lets down his hands. He remembers Sungjin. What is he doing? Why is he kissing someone else's man?
The younger looks away while the older casts his face down. Younghyun leans on his car beside the older.
"Sorry," he says almost whisper.
The taller wants to shake his head to tell him he doesn't need to apologize but he's the one who needs to say it. He wants to enclose the younger in his arms and kiss him again--but this time, slower and intimate. He wants to convey his yearning to the younger and the untold love he has kept for years through the collision of their mouths but the black-haired is already walking away from the older leaving him with tear-kissed face and his should-have-been's.
CIGARETTEÂ Sequel (read that first)Â
Pairing: Jaehyungparkian // Park Jaehyung x Kang Younghyun
Word Count: 2490
// smoking, make out, implied sex, mention of suicide & self-harm, more artists //
Summary:Â Younghyun wanted to give up music and go back to his cigarette addiction. But every ounce of sentiment he has pulls him back to the world of notes and melodies. It's not the cylindrical rolls containing harmful materials that are killing him, it's the other cigarette of his life; the cigarette that has been long gone; the cigarette known as Park Jaehyung.
CHAPTER 1: Photograph
Resting his head on the couch, the young man in front of Younghyun lets out a smoke. He follows the direction of the vapor before looking at nothing in particular--just the light cream ceiling.
The blond hair of the other is covering his eyes but not even a bit bothered by it. He hums the song they made last month as he put the cigarette butt on the ash tray. "You really make great songs, Younghyun," the blond compliments "It's really great to have you in the crew."
It's been almost three years since his cigarette was gone. He stopped making songs for a half year--he wanted to give it up. But the misery and agony sustained the words to be intuned.
When he sang for a gig again for the first time, Colde and his friend, Dean, approached him telling they've been looking for him; wondering why he's not singing at the club he used to work at anymore. Then, they invited him to join their crew, Club Eskimo--a group of singers and rappers; some were local artists who have had already released albums and others were just starting.
"The song really suits your voice, Colde" Younghyun lands him a look "So does your name"
Before Colde could even respond, the door opens and a middle-aged man accompanied by a young girl appear. The blond instantly takes the cigarette butt and squeezes it on the ash tray to put out the flame. The others shake their hands on the air, trying to let the smoke disappear faster, and the producer sprays air freshener to replace the unpleasant smell for the kid. They mumur their apologies and the young girl hastily runs towards Younghyun who just sat up.
"Uncle, I saw a beautiful fish in the crane machine on our way here," she excitingly tells.
The people around look at her with fondness etched on their faces and eyes. They have never seen a child, a girl, who loves fishes as much as she does. Younghyun paints a sweet smile on his face.
"Really?" he shuffles the young girl's hair "Then, shall we go get it?"
The young kid jumps enthusiastically. The father of the child looks at Younghyun apologetically and the latter assures him it's no big deal. The girl is especially affectionate towards him because despite the intimidating front, Younghyun is really a sweet, warmhearted and loving person.
His eyes are darted on the stuffed toy, few minutes after. He gets the fish toy on the fourth try when the child suddenly lets go of the hem of his shirt.
"Haru, don't let go," he exclaims as he glances at the child.
"Uncle Heesu," she points at her left, referring to Colde.
"No," he leans down to speak close to Haru "Uncle Heesu is with your Dad," he gives the toy to the young girl as his eyes follow the direction of where Haru is pointing at and they landed at the back of a lean blond young man.
The figure is so familiar; the slenderness; how he walks; even the feeling that he gets just by looking at him is a sensation that seems to be known by his system for a long time.
It can't be.
Haru pulls his sleeve causing him to look at her. "Was it not Uncle Heesu?" Younghyun takes another glance and the tall young man is already nowhere to be found. "His hair is covering his eyes. Isn't it Uncle Heesu?"
When they get back at Colde's personal studio, not the studio where they record songs, Haru tells them about the man she saw who looked like the blond singer.
"Is everyone coming to the Music Fest next week?" Sunwoong, the father of Haru; also known as Tablo, confirms everyone's decision before heading home.
Colde jokes about not coming when he's the main singer and everyone else are artists who are only featuring in his songs or have a collaboration with him; except Jiho, known as 0channel, who is the producer of Offonoff--Jiho and Colde's duo.
Haru keeps on whining about wanting to go but Tablo won't allow her. There would be drinking, smoking and dancing--not a child-friendly environment at all.
"I will just wear a mask," she insisted.
When her father declines again, she begins shedding tears. Tablo sighs in surrender.
"Then I think I'll head home right away after I sing."
Younghyun offers to look after the kid when Tablo will be on stage. That's why three days after, Younghyun is being dragged around by the child.
"I saw him, I saw him!" she exclaims.
"Your friend, fish?"
"No, no," she shakes her head "The man who looks like Uncle Heesu," she extends her arm to point at something--someone.
His eyes land on a figure, blond hair covering his vision. Wild smile casted on his face while being pulled towards the crowd.
Younghyun freezes on his spot, not realizing that Haru is not around him anymore. He paces to the people dancing while Haru wanders around the area.
Just in time for the chorus, the tall figure's eyes land on him and the smile on his face starts to fade. His mouth agape.
I could I could be there for you
I could I could be the one to
Iâd be your cigarette
Miso's (the girl featuring in Colde's song, titled Cigarette, who sang the chorus) voice is loud and clear. The third line of the chorus, strikes his chest like an arrow.
"I can be your cigarette." As if it was just yesterday, Younghyun hears the other's voice at the back of his mind--loud and clear.
I would I would be your light and
I would I would shine you brighter
Oh I wish I be your last
Younghyun strides closer. The buzz-cut guy is being pulled by an acquaintance to dance while the other stays unmoved.
I could I could be there for you
I could I could be the one to
Iâd be your cigarette
As Miso sings the last part, Younghyun takes his last step. Now, he's just two feet apart from the blond.
"Younghyun," the lean young man voices.
The black-haired's jaw tightens. His own name feels so strange and unfamiliar coming from the slender guy's mouth. So it's 'Younghyun' now, huh? Not 'Brian'?
"Jaehyung," Younghyun deadpans; eyes darting on the other's.
Jae folds his lips as he hears his first name being voiced by the shorter. When did it become 'Jaehyung' to you?
The sleeping city and your bright pupils
it seems itâll pour down
after staring for a while
I want to keep everything like this
They remain still, not moving an inch, as Colde starts singing another song.
Sing along the song
flowing through the radio
when we share this moment together
itâs as if the world has stopped
The cold and pacifying voice of the singer caresses both of their hearts but their piercing eyes keep on pinching them. The moment is relaxing but their restrained desires and the memories coming back are stinging.
Neither of them dare to budge. As if they're a photograph, they remain standing as staring at each other's soul. And as if their minds are photo albums of each other's photos, pictures of memories, that seem like they were taken not long ago, play like a motion picture film in their heads.
Younghyun remembers the expression of Jae's eyes every time they'd make love; the smile he'd paint on his face every time he'd crack a joke; that sweet curve his lips would make and the soft countenance of his features every time he'd stare at him; even the sensation of Jae's slender fingers caressing his nape, arm, back or even shaft; the feeling of his lips against his own, all over his body, or wrapped around his erection.
Jae remembers the needy eyes of Younghyun; how he'd wrap his arms around him as he'd sit on the black-haired's lap and how the other would snuggle to his chest like a child wanting comfort; the touch of the fox-eyed lips on his collarbones, Younghyun's favorite, and how he'd always suck it to leave a mark; how the other's eyes falter every time he'd moan 'Brian'.
A lady walks behind Jae causing him to fall forward and collides with Younghyun's body. The beating of their hearts tripled. The taller straightens up instantly but the other is fast enough to grab his hand and pull him back.
Jae's shoulders move up and down. They do not budge for few moments until Jae rests his forehead on the shorter's shoulder. The latter sighs in relief as he shuts his eyes.
close your eyes take my time
letâs remember this moment
remember this moment
Colde sings the last chorus; and the words he intunes mirror what they feel. Younghyun's fingers play with Jae's. He starts moving slowly, swaying like other people do, and Jae's body follows.
slow it down before dawn
everything is everywhere
oh oh oh oh oh oh
The shorter squeezes his eyes and his forehead creases. He tightens his grip on the other's hand as the prickles on his chest double. He wants to remember this moment--No, he wants to stay in this moment.
oh oh oh oh oh oh
stay like this, oh yeah
The fox-eyed knows the song too well to know it's almost ending. His lips quiver as his heart trembles in fear. What if this moment will end when the song does?
oh yeah, stay like this
if we can meet again
together, tonight
The music fades and as if on cue, Haru's voice break their contact. Younghyun looks where the voice is coming from and sees Haru being carried by Jiho. Jae walks away without a word and without looking back.
He almost forgot how he used to feel empty until the blond left him and leaves a large void in his heart again.
The black-haired rushes to where Haru is and gets scolded by the producer. "Be thankful I found her, if not you'd see Tablo crying like a mad man"
He says his apologies to Haru before getting her. He kisses the young girl's cheek and promises to bring her to go fishing.
They stride back to their table and Haru clings to his father. Younghyun takes a seat and his sight lands on a masterpiece again--a masterwork that confabulate's with one's soul; imparting melancholy and grief.
His chest tightens as their eyes lock. He does not avert his gaze even if he's talking with someone else. He does not even land a glance when Tablo and Haru bid their goodbyes.
Jae's eye wrinkles, that shows when he smiles so wide while talking to the almost bald guy beside him, send hundreds of needles to Younghyun's chest. The fact that he's not the reason why they're showing hurts and irritates him.
Jealousy creeps as the black-haired's jaw clenches. He grabs Colde's pack of cigars and stands up. He walks out of the place while the other is not looking.
He huffs some air out to lessen the burden on his chest. He traces his mouth with his tongue before biting it. He looks up and release more air. Desperate of being calm, he looks down to the box of cigarette and finally puts a butt between his lips. He fumbles in his pockets for a lighter and realizes he got none.
The door suddenly opens and his head instantly turns to look who will be getting out. The hold of his lips on the cigarette loosens a bit so he takes it in his right hand as he slowly turns his head away.
The other gulps and awkwardly takes more steps before closing the door. He stands two feet away from the door and two feet away from the fox-eyed, too.
"So..." he trails off and clears his throat before looking at the black-haired "you went back to smoking?"
Younghyun presses his lips together forming a thin line. He lets out a breath before glancing back to the taller. "Not really," he pauses and narrows his eyes a bit "Just when I feel a strong need to calm myself."
Their eyes lock again as if having a conversation.
Do you need your 'cigarette'? Jae wants to voice out, referring to himself.
Younghyun deepens his look. You're the kind of cigarette that I need.
Jae is the one who breaks the stare. The shorter swallows a lump before shifting his eyes, too. Silence envelops them.
Younghyun puts the cigarette back to his mouth and searches in his pocket again for anything that can light it--although he's sure there's nothing; but maybe--just maybe--there will be something.
The blond notices it and remembers he always carries a lighter with him (even though he's not smoking). He gets it from his back pocket and offers it to the fox-eyed.
Younghyun looks at Jae, then his hand that is holding a rectangular object with a color that reminds him so much of the other; the color that pervades the air when the presence of the blond gives him serenity; the one he sees when he looks at the taller's eyes and they're burning with desire; the tint that is being painted on his heart when the lean young man devours his mouth; the one that surrounds them when trust and security embrace him. Azure.
It's a sky-like colored lighter that has a tape on it with a 'No, BriBri' written on it.
Jae asks himself why the shorter is not taking it from his hand only to realize that it's Younghyun's lighter. He took it from the fox-eyed after two weeks of being his cigarette.
It was during those times that Younghyun was patently letting him see that he'd smoke. Jae knew he was doing it on purpose--that the younger was shy to ask for a kiss.
Jae was making a melody and the black-haired was writing lyrics. Younghyun suddenly stood up, went to the veranda and locked a cigarette butt between his lips. Jae followed and took the lighter that the younger almost used to light the cigar. The taller plants a peck on Younghyun and went back inside the apartment. It was Younghyun's turn to follow him. He put a tape, wrote on it and kept it. He strode towards Younghyun who was already sitting on the couch. He trapped the shorter on the seat, putting his hands on each side, and leaned his face closer. The younger attempted to meet his lips but he pulled his face back to tease him. He smirked and did it again. On the third try, Younghyun became frustrated and pulled his waist that he fell on his lap before the shorter kissed him a little aggressively.
Jae's face heat up from the memory. Younghyun is starting to have a hard-on. Tension invades the air when the door suddenly opens and the buzz-cut guy shows up.
Pairing: Jaehyungparkian // Park Jaehyung x Kang Younghyun
Word count: 3,210
// cigarette, smoking, make out, more make out, mention of sex, mention of death //
Summary:Â Younghyun wants to be a singer; Jae wants to be a musician. Younghyun is a smoker; Jae offers a substitute to make him stop smoking -- for his voice's sake. Younghyun got a new addiction.
Note:Â This was made because of Cigarette by Offonoff
Well..... I don't usually write this kind of stuff but here it is... Hello.And i know I'm not done with Don't Stop The Rain's epilogue yet but here's a jaehyungparkian one-shot first.
In a dark narrow alley, slender fingers that were clutched turned red from pouding a wall. Sneakers covered with mud, and with a splash of dirty water from stepping on a pool of raindrops on the road earlier, were also hammering the bricks.
A black-haired young man, sitting on the ground from a close distance, flashed his eyes open upon hearing the thumping on the wall and the curses pronounced by a slim fellow. He leaned his head on the wall, fished out a pack of cigarettes from the back pocket of his jeans, took a stick and lighted it.
As profanities escaped the mouth of the man kicking and hitting the wall, smoke came out from the other's. Getting irritated by the quibbling of the tall young man, the black-haired stood up and strode toward him. He stretched out his hand and offered the cigarette locked between his left index and middle fingers.
The silver-haired stared at it cluelessly before placing his gaze at the fox-eyed, trying to widen his tiny eyes in question. The illumination from the street light near the alley and the not-so-birght-moon traced the outline of the half part of his face. It was an adorable sight; the not-so-innocent eyes with a glint of sorrow and passion piercing through the black-haired's made his heart be enveloped in a familiar warmth. The latter unconsciously raised both of his eyebrows upon seeing the countenance of the young man, who, in this moment, looked like a lost child (despite his height which the black-haired thought is almost 6 feet) needing help, he's irritated by just a moment ago. He brushed off the feeling and urged him to take the coffin nail from his hand.
"I'm--I'm allergic," he stuttered.
The shorter raised a brow and smirked, thinking that the other's excuse was lame. "You won't be allergic after you try it," he encouraged "Don't be a p*ssy and just take it"
"No," he deadpanned "I'm literally allergic to almost everything." The fox-eyed put down his hand, still unconvinced to what the other was saying. "I'm allergic to almost all fruits, the grass, pollens, furs--"
"Such a pity," the black-haired said insincerely before he huffed a smoke. "Alcohol?"
"I can take it--a bit"
The shorter walked toward where he was seated before. He bent down to take two bottles of beer before striding back to the taller. He handed him a bottle before he crouched beside him. The silver-haired followed. He took a gulp right after he sat beside the shorter.
The sound of the engines passing by, the footsteps of people walking here and there and their imperceptible conversations replaced the silence that covered them. The taller saw the other chugged up at the corner of his eyes so he took a gulp from his also--trying not to grimace. When the younger puffed a smoke again, the silver-haired looked away with a clenching jaw. He's always hated cigarettes. He then wondered the reason behind why the black-haired was smoking--still, he hated it.
"My mom wants me to be a doctor and go back to Los Angeles," the taller broke the silence. The other eyed him for a second before taking a gulp from his bottle of beer once more. "but I don't really want to. And I failed three exams today," he chortled bitterly before swigging the beer.
"I want to be a singer," the other started to open up which brought light to the eyes of the taller after hearing a word that his heart has always been so familiar with, "but no one believes in my songs" he shared nonchalantly before letting out a smoke.
The silver-haired shifted his eyes from the smoke to the shorter man's profile. His eyes traced the outline of his face; from the forehead, to his nose and they settled on his lips. His chest tingled. He averted his gaze and fumbled with the bottle. He cleared his throat and blinked hastily, trying to brush off the 'awakened' sensation he got few seconds ago.
"C-can you let me hear it?" he requested and the other obliged.
The moment the black-haired opened his mouth and his own song escaped from it, it went straight to the taller's ears and to his chest, penetrating his heart. His body hair saluted to his soothing yet piercing voice. The lyrics spoke sorrow and bitter-sweet experiences. He clenched his fists trying not to shed a single tear.
"How is it that no one believes in your music?" the taller quizzed.
The singer just shrugged and took a hit from his stick again, thinking that the guy beside him just admired his song because he didn't know much about music. The latter furrowed his brows after taking another gulp of beer when he saw the shorter breathing in from his coffin nail once again.
He didn't know if it's the alcohol kicking or the other's voice pushing him, but he hastily snatched the cigarette stick from the other and leaned closer to him crashing his lips on the other's and tried to deepen it a second after.
Caught in surprise by the taller's unpredictable action, the shorter's eyes widened and his breathing hitched. He pushed the silver-haired and irritation started to paint on his face.
"What the--what was that about?" he queried with his forehead furrowed. "I'm sorry but I don't swing that way, man"
The silver-haired stared back at him blankly as if what he did wasn't a big deal at all. "I hate seeing people smoking"
The fox-eyed raised a brow, "Then what? You kiss every smoking stranger you see?"
The taller's jaw tightened and his hand on his right knee clenched, "My father died from lung cancer" The black-haired's face softened. "And you have a goal, don't you? You want to be a singer. I know how it feels when no one believes in you. I want to be a musician but no one believes that I can be successful in the music field." He huffed as he tried to sit on the ground to relax himself "But even if no one believes in me, even if other people are trying to make another path in my life, I'm not giving up in music. You have a very charming voice, and don't ruin that. Your nerves can be damaged because of smoking, you can have throat cancer or cancer of the esophagus. And if you continue that, it's like you're proving that those people who don't believe in you are right--how can you be a successful singer when you're already destroying yourself now?"
The shorter batted his eyelids. The corner of his mouth raised and he chortled amusingly. He wanted to retort but he's so taken aback that he couldn't find words to articulate.
"That's why," the taller continued "stop smoking and continue to reach your goal. I know it's hard to stop it especially if it's helping you psychologically--it may be helping you become calm or I don't know--but for the sake of music, you need to. And because I know it's hard to stop it, I thought I can offer you a substitute"
"Substitute?" the fox-eyed creased his forehead once again.
"I can be your cigarette," the taller declared without a hint of hesitation and with determined eyes darting on the other's.
The black-haired laughed it off. It's a ludicrous idea, he thought. But the next night, after his gig, he went outside of the bar, as usual, stayed in that dark alley, and when he fished a box of cigarette from his pocket and was about to take a stick, he remembered the silver-haired young man and the warm and soft sensation of his lips against his own. He unconsciously bit his lower lip as he remembered what happened last night. His chest started pounding fast and loud.
"I can be your cigarette," the appeasing voice of the said young man echoed in his mind. He squeezed the pack of cigars in his hand and tightened his jaw before putting the box back to his pocket and let out an air.
He leaned back on the wall, looked up and sighed once more. He put his hands in the pockets of his jeans. He bit his lip again as he remembered everything that the stranger has said--to take care of his voice and stop smoking if he wants to pursue his singing career. But he's really craving for a fag right now.
His forehead furrowed as he exhaled a sharp breath. "I'm going crazy," he voiced after he realized he's waiting for the silver-haired guy. So much for 'not swinging that way'. Maybe that's why he thought he's going crazy--he's not supposed to look forward to that substitute but he actually was.
The taller went around during this time last night but he still hasn't come. The black-haired huffed and ran a hand through his hair. He sat on the ground, one leg relaxing, and the other was raised. He clenched his hand and hit the other leg--a sign of impatience.
Almost half an hour has passed and a pair of footsteps were starting to come closer. He looked up and saw the tall young man trying to catch his breath. He's leaning down, hands on his knees, and his shoulders kept going up and down. A guitar case was strapped on his shoulder.
The shorter stood up and kept mum. The other straightened up and started telling why he has come a little late than he did yesternight. The former didn't hear a word--as if he's watching a movie on mute or a movie with a different language that he couldn't comprehend what the other was saying. His eyes were focused on only one thing--the taller's mouth. His own agaped as he watched the silver-haired's lips moved as he spoke.
He took a gulp and a step closer, putting a hand at the back of the taller's head, pulled him closer and met his lips. Although surprised, the taller obliged. He rested his hand on the waist of the shorter and responded to the kiss. Just when he was about to deepen it, the black-haired pulled back.
"I needed a toke," the shorter explained--a bit embarrassed by his action because it's like eating his words from last night. Who doesn't 'swing the other way' but kisses a man first?
The taller let it slide and decided not to mention anything about it. Instead, he talked about the guitar he brought with him.
"This is Mery," he introduced "my best friend. I brought her with me so I can accompany you. But this is an electric, so I couldn't really play it right now because we would need an amp. I wanted to bring Taylor, the acoustic, but it's in my mother's room and we fought so I didn't have the chance to get it"
That's the only time the shorter noticed the scartch on the face of the silver-haired and a welt on his left cheek. He didn't stick his nose and tried not to mind it.
"I have an amplifier in my place," he offered.
The night seemed to be staying still when they indulged themselves to the music that the taller produced and the lyrics that the shorter intuned.
Their heartbeats seemed to be dancing freely to the rhythm that was pervading the room. Their hearts were covered with familiar warmth that shouted intimacy and whispered romance--their fond of each other, but romance was still so subtle. Excitement surrounded their tickers and mystique grew bigger.
They feel like they just found the missing note on their scale; that a melody was added to the rhythm of their existence making it more colorful; that their dissonant lives now have harmony.
"You wanna go on a gig with me?" The younger, which was the black-haired, asked with a hint of hope, thinking the silver-haired may be the missing piece to his singing.
"You do gigs?" an eyebrow raised in question.
"We met at the back alley of the bar I work at," he shrugged as the other's mouth agaped "I sing there three times a week."
The night was already deep when the silver-haired put his guitar down and started to pack up. The younger stood up and paced toward the veranda. The taller's eyes followed him and saw his hand take the pack of cigarettes from his pocket. He immediately walked toward him and tapped his shoulder softly. The moment the shorter turned to look at him, he collided his lips to the other's.
The black-haired, taken aback, stepped backward and hit the railing. When he started to relax, he let go of the cigarette pack and held the waist of the slim fellow, pulling him closer, as the latter put his arms around the shorter's shoulders.
"I thought you're straight," the older teased with amusement painted on his face when they pulled back, still in the same position "but you're so into kissing me"
The black-haired narrowed his eyes, "I just needed cigarette," he licked his lower lip "and you told me to take care of my voice. I'm just taking your offer."
The taller smirked and locked his lips with the younger's again; this time, deeper. The latter's hold tightened and the older leaned closer as they became more and more intoxicated with each other's taste.
"It's Jae," the older answered when the younger queried his name. They're laying down side by side on the black-haired's bed. Jae asked to stay the night at the other's place because he didn't have a place to sleep at. "How about you?"
"Younghyun"
"Don't you have an English name or something?" Jae quizzed as he raised a hand to rest his head, turning to his side to look at the younger, "Younghyun is long, and Young or Hyun is awkward. How about I give you an English name?"
"I don't need one," Younghyun retorted.
"Brian," Jae declared, not paying attention to what the black-haired has said. The latter creased his forehead and asked why, "Because you look like a Brian"
Younghyun furrowed his forehead more before raising a brow and shaking his head. His eyes rested on Jae's lips again and unconsciously bit his own. The older noticed it and beamed.
"Do you need your cigarette?"
"Uhh," Younghyun averted his eyes "I usually take a puff before sleeping"
Jae compeled and moved closer. Resting a hand on the younger's chest, he started planting small kisses on the other's lips before fixing it in place. When he started to open his mouth, Younghyun breathed in before responding. The latter's hand, which was behind his head, draped between the taller's jaw and neck.
Brian, as Jae calls Younghyun, was drawn to the older's lips. He kept yearning for it more than he ever did for cigarettes. He'd try to let Jae see him taking a cigarette stick just so the taller would take it away from him and kiss him; he'd intentionally act restless if the 'cigarette stick' tactic was already used three times within the day.
They walked the music path together--made songs and did gigs. Their connection grew over time. Younghyun didn't need to pull some tricks anymore just to have Jae's lips on his. Sometimes, he'd just stare at the older, or call his name, and Jae would understand right away (there's a certain expression that the younger always has and a certain tone his voice would make whenever he would need his cigarette).
As days passed, the kisses advanced. Tongues started to join, hands began exploring, and hips commenced grinding. They would always make out whenever they get a chance; usually at the back alley of the bar.
Jae would always spend the night after every gig. His fight with his mother has also gotten worse, which Brian knew nothing about. Jae would stay at his friend's place whenever he's not sleeping at Brian's because he left home already.
Things got heated. The usual make out sessions escalated. It first happened during a rainy night when Jae just had his hair dyed black, and he appeared on Brian's apartment door soaking wet from the rain. He walked to Brian's place, despite the heavy pouring, from his friend's house because no one was there.
It was a titillating sight for Brian. Never had he thought that he would feel that way towards a man. Instead of asking Jae what happened, he grabbed him hastily and proceeded to mess up the older's lips. They're hungry for each other. Without breaking contact, they found their way to Brian's room. No one uttered a word, no one asked if it's okay to go beyond the line. It's as if saying a single word would break the spell.
Neither of them regretted what happened. But neither of them also talked about it. It didn't happen always, but it did at least once a week.
Brian was indenial. Jae knew his own feelings as clear as crystal. They both wanted to know what they had, but afraid of asking the other. They both thought they already knew the answer--that Brian was just addicted to the kisses and sex as replacement to his cigarette addiction; that Jae was just doing the 'obligation' he assigned for himself.
No one dared to make clarifications; both were afraid of the confrontation, thinking one question would ruin their current situation.
"Brian"
Younghyun hated that name on day one. But he loved hearing it every time it would escape Jae's mouth--every time he'd moan it, utter it needingly, or say he calls for him the moment he'd wake up.
Letting out a smoke, Younghyun shifts his gaze to the person who shouted 'Brian'. His heart twitches as he smiles pitifully to himself. He was just reminiscing about him and now he just heard someone pronouncing the name that he gave him.
He didn't see him after that night. The moment he opened his eyes, no sight of Jae can be found. After a week, he then knew why that last night was different--because he will leave him. And he was sure of it after a month has passed. Now, it's been a year but the hope hasn't still faded.
He huffs as he throws the butt on the ground and steps on it to put out the flame. He's back to smoking for half a year now. He just finished a fag but he still craves for more--more than just a tobacco rolled in a narrow cylinder.
He misses Jae's lips.
He longs for Jae's warmth.
He yearns for Jae's presence.
He needs his cigarette.
Also on: ao3, aff, and twitter
Daelisix Fanfics: Masterlist
Characters: Day6. minor mentions of Got7
Word count: 3,621
Summary: Â Itâs frustrating when itâs raining and you donât have your umbrella with you. But that frustrating moment could turn into a romantic one when thereâs an attractive guy holding an umbrella beside youâlike those in books, movies or dramas, where the guy would offer to share his umbrella. A new love could bloomâor not.
Youâre staring at the warm hand gripping yours. You can feel how the owner of the hand is forcing himself to hold yours tightly when he doesnât even have much energy.
You were quite startled when he abruptly grabbed your hand when you stood up after putting a wet towel on his forehead. The girl on the phone asked you to look after the Chicken Guy because she canât go to the apartment herself since itâs still raining hard.
âD-donâtââ, he tries voicing and he seems having a hard time speaking âdonât leave,â his grasp loosen a bit but he tries tightening it as if begging (âforcingâ if heâs in his normal state) you not to go.
Still looking at your hands in contact, you take a gulp. âIâmâIâm not leaving,â you look away âIâm just going to drink a glass of water.â
He remains clasping your hand for another five seconds before letting it go. You get out of his room only to lean back on the door and put a hand on your chest to let the wild beating calm. The back of your hand gently taps your cheek as if checking if your face is hot. Eventually, you go to the kitchen to actually do what youâve saidâdrink.
Whoâs that girl though? Is she the one he keeps on talking about?
Releasing a breath, you walk back to his room as you try to clear your thoughts. His head moves slowly, still with eyes closed, and you think you just heard him utter your name twice.
It must be my imagination. We donât know each otherâs names until now.
You quietly walk towards the bed to check on him. His eyes flutter a bit as if trying to look around. You see him constantly shifting as if trying to find a comfortable positionâor maybe heâs trying make himself feel warmer because he seems to be trying to pull the blanket closer and closer to him even if thereâs no space between it and his body already.
You lean down to adjust the cloth on his forehead but to your surprise, a hand grabs your wrist and pulls you while the other hand drapes on your back, enclosing you to an embrace. You feel his body relax right after the top of your body fell on him. Being on top of the blue-haired young man, you can hear his heavy breathing becoming calmer.
You slowly attempt to get up but the moment he senses you trying to do so, he pulls you closer and his arm on your back tightens its grip. You can almost hear your heartbeat thumping loudly.
You bite your lip as you unconsciously hold your breath. When he moves again, trying to make your position a little bit more comfortable, thatâs the moment you realize that you arenât breathing. As you exhale softly, you once again try to get up, but then again, itâs no diceâhe just keeps on pulling you closer.
âPlease,â he breathes.
As you try to keep a tear from falling, you whisper to yourself âJust this onceâ. You snuggle closer to him, moving your head towards his shoulder and putting your feet up on the bed. His arm that was on your back is now below your head, and the other that was holding your right arm is now resting on your hip.
He heaves a sigh of relief as you fix yourself beside him. He snakes his left hand on your waist to pull you closer (once again) to him; his other hand, hold your right shoulder as a support.
The weather is very cold since the rain still hasnât settled down but you feel like youâre sweating from the steam getting off of your body. I feel pathetic. You bite your lip as you let a tear fall while asking yourself if the current scenario youâre in is really okay or not. Of course, itâs not. Why am I still even asking? Doesnât he already have a girlâor, I mean⊠are they together now? Not yet? You clench your fist without realizing it. Who was the girl who called before? Man, I feel contemptible but I canât stopâI canât restrain myself. Iâm so awful right now, am I not? You weep quietly and you donât know if he noticed it or not, because he pulls you closer again and caresses your back as if trying to console you, but you let yourself go with the flow anyway.
The blue-haired wakes up few minutes before four in the morning. He squeezes his eyes tightly before slowly opening them. He stares at you with a soft expression in his eyes. He tucks the strand of your hair covering your eyes behind your ear before stroking your cheek softly by his thumb. He smiles warmly as his chest throbs crazily. He presses his lips on the top of your head as he hugs you tightly again before going back to sleep.
âSheâs sick,â you overhear a voice few feet from you âI think she caught it from me. She looked over me the whole night.â Your forehead creases as you continue hearing the familiar voice.
Whoâs he talking to? You carefully open your eyes and see the back of the Chicken Guy facing you. He is holding his phone against his ear. You glance at the wall clock which reads 10:14. Before it sinks into you that youâre already late for work, you remember what happened last night. As if on cue, he turns to check on you. You glance at him and immediately look away. You remember how he pulled you and how you fell on top of him when you were supposed to fix the small towel on his forehead; and how you eventually fell asleep in his tight warm embrace. I slept beside him the whole night! Not to mention he was holding me in his arms!
You canât help but widen your eyes as your chest tightens with all of the sudden flashbacks from last night. Oh right, shoot! Iâm late for work! You hastily seat up and move the blanket away when your head suddenly aches. Your body also seems sore, your eyes feel quite heavy and you feel weak.
He runs toward you and carefully holds your shoulder, âJust lay down again,â he demands âyouâve got fever. Also, donât worry about work for today. Just restâ
He apologizes for not showing up for the past nightsâhe was sick, if itâs not yet obvious (he says he has a very weak immune system so he gets sick so easily and he played basketball with one of his friends while the rain was pouring). Itâs not like he owes you some since you didnât really agree to meet everydayâalthough it seem to be a silent pact, thereâs nothing to explain. Besides, what are you to him exactly? No one in particularâjust a random stranger whom he offered an umbrella one rainy afternoon in exchange for free chicken, a stranger who eventually became his snack buddy, and a gaming partner.
âAre you sure youâre fine now?â Wonpil asks when you get back to work on Monday.
âNo worries,â you declare as you show him an âOKâ sign.
âBut why is something still off?â He quizzes.
You unconsciously bite your lower lip and shift your gaze away from him. Itâs justâseries of scenarios from few days ago flash in your mind again. Not to mention, he visited you everyday to look after you, more than what you did when heâs sick. All you did was just take him home, put him to bed and put a cold damp towel on his forehead. But he brought you porridge, made you watch animated movies to keep you from getting bored (you both had Studio Ghibli and Makoto Shinkai marathon), brought his PSPs to play with you, do everything you want him to doâalthough he still kept on teasing you, he sure took good care of you, making sure you wouldnât strain yourself and youâre entertained enough.
âSee?â your best friendâs voice pulls you back to present âThereâs really something going on.â
That afternoon after work, his grinning face welcomes you when you step out of the companyâs building. You do the usual stuffâgetting a snack and stays at the joint for few hours before going to the shed.
âShall we go home early tonight?â he asks âAlthough it hasnât rained, itâs really chilly. You just recovered from your feverâ
âSays the one who was sick for four nights,â you roll your eyes.
The wind blows and the cold breeze embraces you. You shiver and clench your fist. Of all things, why did I forget my jacket? Your forehead furrows when you see him spread his arms (his hands are in the pockets of his coat, so the coat is spread open as he did to his arms). You raise a brow to question.
âArenât you cold?â He moves his eyebrows up and down as if expressing that heâs got an awesome idea. You crease your forehead again when you realize what he meant. âCâmon. Itâs not like itâs the first time Iâll enclose you in my armsâ
Your heart skips a beat. You notice that he did not directly regard it as a hug. Maybe not to make me feel awkward? You mentally flick yourself. But it still insinuates the same thing!
âI told you toââ
The next words are hung in the air when he suddenly wraps an arm around you, making your body be covered by his coat. It almost seems like heâs hugging youâif heâs not yet actually doing that. Of course, heâs not.
Geez, I told you to minimize doing this kind of things.
âWhoâs J?â you voice that even you yourself is surprised. Where did that come from?
You feel him squeeze your shoulder and draw you closer to him as if assuring you of something. âA childhood friend.â
The next day, he does another thing. He holds your hand and put it inside the pocket of his hoodie. Itâs so sudden that you did not have the chance to pull your hand back but when you try to do so, he intertwines his fingers to yours and holds your hand tighter.
âYouâll be cold,â he utters nonchalantly.
Youâre starting to tell yourself that itâs okayâwhat happened that night, sleeping while heâs embracing you the whole time, is fine, too; that your afternoon agenda is normal; that maybe the other girl is just a girl heâs thankful for; that maybe thereâs really something going on between the two of you.
But just when youâre starting to think that way, you begin to doubt again when you hear a very familiar voiceâthat laugh that makes your chest tingleâhaving so much fun with a girl one afternoon. Youâre on your way to the CEOâs office to submit some concept reports and reviews when you hear two voices laughing in harmony.
Just when you take a turn at the end of the hall way, the door of the CEOâs office opens and you see Mr. Park goes out as he calls out âHyung, Jamieâ to the people standing outside the officeâan arm wrapped around the head of a girl, locking her, and her hair is tousled (a very familiar scene, you think).
Your eyes shift from the CEO to the Chicken Guy and to the girl. Each oneâs lips are agapeâlike no one has been expecting this kind of situation. You swallow a lump as your grip on the folder youâre holding tightens.
âSir,â you mutter almost a whisper, feeling your knees getting weak, as you hand him the papers while the blue-haired straightens up and the girl fixes her hair, âhere are the concept reviews,â you bat your eyelids in attempt to calm yourself âjust call me again if you need me.â Without waiting for his response, you turn around and walk away.
You tense upon hearing the very familiar voice calling out your name. He knows my name! You walk more swiftly but with his long legs, he catches up to you in an instant. He grabs your arm to make you stop and you hastily pull it away from his grasp and face him.
âYou knew me all along?â You choke âAnd⊠âHyungâ? Youâre Mr. Parkâsâyouâre a Park, youâre the CEOâs brother.â You exhale a sharp breath as you tell yourself how unbelievable it is. But come to think of it, there are cluesâhow Mr. Park reacted with your concepts, how he told you not to wait, how he suddenly acted especially nice towards you, how he knew where you were on that rainy night, and the grandmother! So I was right with that assumption? That the only way I can be that girl on his story is when his grandmother and the grandmother I saved which is the CEOâs grandparent is the same person.
Pathetic.
âLet me expââ
âHyung,â Mr. Park calls out. Just by hearing him call his older brother makes your ears itch. You squeeze your eyes shut as the chief motions his brother to leave you for now.
Not to mention, thereâs also that girl. Whoâs that girl? Jamie? Isnât she the one the blue-haired is interested in? If he kept on talking about the girl on the street, arenât you that girl? Then whoâs the one earlier? Is she the childhood friendâthe  J? Or is she someone elseâsomeone very special perhaps?
âWhy are you here?â You hear Jacksonâs voice behind your back an hour after.
You briskly wipe the trace of tears on your face before the CEOâs secretary goes beside you.
âI have to show you something,â he excitedly declares âI havenât gotten the chance to show this to you the past weeks because youâre always with Younghyun and Wonpil.â He fumbles on the phoneâs screen before he shows it to you.
As soon as the guitar plucking starts âJAE PARK Better Manâ shows on screen which makes your breathing hitch. The black screen slowly fades, revealing a young man with fringe up hair, square-framed black eyeglasses, a piercing on the left ear, running his hand on the neck of the guitar and the other tweaking the strings. Your lips quiver as you try not to break.
Iâm the kind of guy
Hearing his voice is what it takes for you to burst. The guy who sang the song that Jackson made you listen few weeks ago was him all alongâyour speculation was right again.
Jackson panics at your sudden rupture. He instantly stops the video and puts his phone in his pocket, puts his hand on your shoulder and the other patting your back. âW-what happened? Why are you suddenly crying?â Instead of answering his questions, you respond with another batch of tears.
You canât be thankful enough for having non-rainy days for the next days. You keep on avoiding the Chicken Guy, and even if he tried multiple times to talk with you, you just continued walking until heâd stop.
On the ninth day of playing cat and mouse though, the wind keeps on blowing powerfully. The sky looks gloomy, too. Please, donât let it rain, donât let it rain. You keep chanting in your head when you finish your work.
âA low pressure area trough will move through South Korea,â Wonpil informs âItâs said to bring heavy rain. Please be safe.â
You pace quickly after going out of the building. Not soon after, a hand grips on your arm.
âLet me go,â you deadpan.
As if he hears nothing, he leans down to carry you on his shoulder like a sack of rice. You keep yelling but no one is trying to help you. You continuously hit his back and kick your feet in the air but heâs as persistentâor even more. You feel a water drop on your arm and you almost cuss when you realize itâs drizzling.
The moment he steps on the shed, the rain pours. He lets you down and you immediately try to walk away but he swiftly pulls you back.
âWhat the heck! Canât you see itâs pouring hard?â
âIâm not blind!â You hiss âAnd leave me alone! Mind your own bizâ
He run a hand on his face as if trying to calm down, âPlease. Letâs talk,â he breathes in, putting both hands on waist âI think Iâve given you more than enough time already to cool down. So letâs talkâ
âThereâs nothing to talk about.â
âThereâs a lot.â
âLike what?!â You strike a sarcastic smile, âLike how you played with me since Day 1? How you acted like a jerk while I needed help? Then what? You came to me âoffered helpâ only to play with me further? Chicken, huh? What a cheat code. You made a fool out of me. And what the efâI just let you?â You release a sharp air, âDo you know exactly what and how you made me feel this whole month?â Your eyes start to water, âYou made me excited, you made me happyâdelighted, you gave me thrill, you pissed the hell out of me but I kept wanting for more, I craved for the sound of your laugh, I yearned for the sight of your smile, you made me anxious, confused, one moment youâd make me feel like I was freaking specialâlike weâre somethingâthen another minute, youâd make me feel otherwise. You made me frigginâ long for your presence even if we see each other six days out of seven. Heck! I kept missing you but you,â you sniff and you firmly wipe your tears using the back of your hand âYou kept my feelings wandering around, making it feel like it has no certain destinationâlike itâll be left meandering forever. And holy freaking sh*t! You held me in your arms for a whole night! What a combo you got there. You made me feel crazy, like you want me but you donât. I kept asking myself what we are, what am I to youâmaybe Iâm just a substance to temporarily fill your void. Was I a quest to accomplish? Or an item to add in your inventory? For what? To increase your real life XP points? Or am I like a healer to keep your sanity? You made me feel all kinds of things but you just tricked me. Was it amusing?â You chortle sarcastically, âIâm sure youâre very entertained. Now if you may excuse me, Iâm done being in your game,â you weakly declare as you turn and take a step
âI like you!â He proclaims making you halt. Even your heartbeat seems to pause for a second or two. âI just thought those trivial matter wonât change a thing; that whatâs important is what weâve shared, the times weâve spent together, the bond weâve made and the memories weâve createdâmost especially, the feelings that are linking our hearts to each otherâs; though unspoken, still certainly evident.â You feel him take a step closer, âI told you, I was just thankful at first but when I learned youâre working on my brotherâs company, I decided to know you moreâand when I did, I canât help but be enticed by your character. Youâre like a magnet that no matter how much I pull myself away, I still keep coming backâwith just a smile, I fall back hard; with just a glance from you, Iâm being pulled towards an endless pit, and the deeper Iâm getting pulled, the deeper my feelings get; with just a single wordââ
You force your eyes shut as you clench your fist. You decide not to hear any more of it so you take another step in attempt to go home despite the rain but he catches you again, holding your arm and making you turn to him. He abruptly leans closer which causes your eyes to widen.
You feel like your chest fall on the floor. You can feel his breath brushing your lips when his mouth is just an inch away from yours. You take a gulp. He sighs in surrender, not leaning further, before straightening up and pulling you in a hug.
âCan we take this kind of slow? âCause I don't want to mess up,â he sings before he chuckles. You start to relax upon hearing that familiar song. You feel the breath of relief he releases before he kisses the top of your head and tightens his hold of you. âLetâs take this slowâ
With 164cm as your height and him being almost 6 feet tall, you can perfectly feel and almost hear his heartbeat. Itâs pounding crazily to the rhythm of yours. Your clenching fists start to loosen as you nod between his chest and arms. You can feel him smile even without looking at him.
âItâs Jae by the way,â he declares âJaehyung Parkâ
His sudden introduction to himself makes you chuckle. After all this time, he only introduced himself just now. You shake your head a bit before draping your arms around his waist to reciprocate his embrace. The cold and rainy weather makes it more ideal.
I want to stay like this a little bit longer. You sigh. Donât stop the rain, please. Please.
THOUGHTS THOUGHTS THOUGHTS???
That's the end--but MIGHT add another? Epilogue focusing on Jae's side??
AND AND, more info of Jae on the spin-off of this fic--"Let it Rain" (Okay not yet sure about that, but the plot keeps on invading my thoughts whenever I write a chapter of this story. You might have a clue about it already)
Also on:
* AsianFanfics
* archiveofourown
* twitter
Characters: Day6. minor mentions of Got7
Word count: 2,701
Summary: Â Itâs frustrating when itâs raining and you donât have your umbrella with you. But that frustrating moment could turn into a romantic one when thereâs an attractive guy holding an umbrella beside youâlike those in books, movies or dramas, where the guy would offer to share his umbrella. A new love could bloomâor not.
âItâs raining?â Younghyun states, puzzled âIt hasnât rained for the past 2 weeks. I thought rainy days are over.â
Shifting your gaze from the raindrops falling hard outside to the cup of coffee in front of you, you let out a soft breath, feeling uneasy.
Itâs a blur Tuesday and without anything interesting happening, you spend the afternoon sipping coffee with Younghyun and Wonpil.
For the past 2 weeks, the weather has been fair. And every single afternoon, you meet with the Chicken Guy as if thereâs a silent agreement that youâll both see each other at the usual place after your work. Youâve gone to different food joints, had fun on arcades, played basketball and badminton, indulged in video games, and took delight in small chitchats or even long serious confabs.
Also, for those weeks, Younghun has been constantly asking you to have coffee together. Other times though, heâd suddenly be assigned to work on something or heâd be called to the CEOâs office. You find it weird sometimes; itâs not yet alert week for the Audio Department so he should not have a lot of work for now, but itâs been the opposite. Itâs as if fate is keeping Younghyun being close to youâor maybe itâs just your imagination. Or maybe thatâs the caseâonly that itâs not fate doing the work.
Three weeks ago, youâd be low key blithe if the rain falls. Right now, you canât help but be uneasy. Why hasnât he showed up last night? You unconsciously sigh which makes Younghyun take a glance on you. Maybe because of what happened last Saturday?
âThereâs a storm coming, I guess?â Wonpil remarks that just passes through your ears. It seems like all you can only hear are your thoughts. âI saw it on the news last night. They said it will rain hard for the following daysâ
Younghyun takes a glance at Wonpil, âAh? Really?â then looks back at you âI donât watch news. I was asleep the whole eveningâ
With your face still cast down, you clasp the hot cup and sip from it. With another sigh, you carefully put it down before you sneeze.
âAre you okay?â Younghyun finally asks. âYouâve been sighing countlessly. Youâve also been sneezing since this morningâ
âIâm fine,â you smile faintly âmaybe itâs because of the weather.â
Wonpil and Younghyun do not buy that excuse but let it slide anyway; knowing you wonât tell whatâs bothering you even if they ask.
I canât tell them I walked home in the middle of heavy rain at almost midnight last night. Another sigh, Thank God I didnât get fever. You bite your lip, still not hearing what Younghyun and Wonpil are discussing. Was it really because of last Saturday?
âCan you please stop?â You muttered under your breath.
The blue-hairedâs eyes widened in surprise. He was just laughing his heart out, locked your head between his arm and chest before he ruffled your head. He was just being himself. He just did what he usually does. Itâs not his first time doing it to you so he was taken aback when you suddenly straightened up and told him coldly to stop.
He always flashes a sweet warm smile that makes your heart melt. He always bickers with you but heâs also thoughtful. âYouâre such a tsundere,â You told him one time when he threw his jacket on you saying heâs feeling hot when his actual intention was for you to wear it because a random guy accidentally spilled his drink on you. He spends six days in a week with you but talks about the other girl with sparkling eyes and excitement in his voice.
If heâs really into that girl, why does he always make you feel like youâre something for him. Or does he only want a company everyday, a friend he can talk to and have fun withâand youâre just misunderstanding things? You donât want to let it go further, you want to stop it before itâs too late. Youâre getting too attached and your heart is being swallowed by your emotionsâgetting deeper and deeper day by day.
âYouâre being too much,â you pronounced clenching your jaw âWe havenât known each other for even a month. You keep doing things as if weâre close friendsââ
âBut arenât we?â He cut you off âIâI thought weâre already friends, considering we spend every afternoon with each other and do a lot of stuffâ
Stuff like couples do? All of them look like after work dates! You breathed in and exhaled softly âI donât want to misinterpret your actions.â You swallowed the lump in your throat âBut if youâre already interested in someone, arenât you supposed to keep your distance from other girls?â You clenched your fists as you try to curb a tear from falling. âIâll get going,â you swiftly walked away without looking back.
Wonpil knocks on the tableâon the spot near the cup of your drinkâthat makes you go back to your senses. You cover your nose and sneeze before rubbing your temple.
âWhatâs bothering you?â He queries worriedly. âYou seem low-spirited since this morningâ
You clear your throat before adjusting to your seat and shake your head, âMust be the cold.â
âWhy donât you take the day off?â Younghyun suggests.
âNah, I can manage.â You smile âIâll just wait for you guys at the lobby. Letâs head upstairs together.â
âWe can go now,â The fox-eyed stands up right away and you just shake your head before motioning him to sit down again. Wonpil eyes him, too, as if trying to send a message through his eyes to let you be alone for a while.
âIâm sorry,â you mutter before sneezing when you accidentally bumped into someone.
âItâs okay,â with that voice, you look up and gesture a small bow. The chief narrows his eyes on you âAre you sick? Did you perhaps waitââ both of your eyebrows raises up and Mr. Park looks away for a bit, âitâs nothing. If youâre not feeling well, you can go home and rest.â
âIâm fine, Sir,â after another small bow, your eyes catch a familiar figure, âGrandmother?â You feel your boss stiffens in front of you before glancing the old lady behind him. âWhy are you here?â You beam before striding to stand before her and get her hands to hold them.
She takes a glimpse at the person behind you before smiling back at you, âI went to the hospital with my grandson,â your lips part in surprise. So sheâs the bossâs grandmother? âHis brother will come to take me home later. So Iâll be waiting at his office.â He looks up to the boss âSheâs the one I told you about, Sungjinâthe one who saved me few weeks agoâ
You slowly release her hands and straighten up, âIâI just helped her crossââ
A voice in your head suddenly interrupts you, âThen there was this lady who stopped her and brought her back to the sidewalkââ
You snap back to reality when the chief calls you and says his thanks.
Come to think of it, âthatâ girl did the same.
The next hours pass unnoticeably. You are too occupied with the what ifâs and maybeâs.
2 weeks ago, he said âmore than a week agoâ, so itâs 3 weeks ago? Thatâs also when I helped Mr. Parkâs grandmother. You lean forward and rest your head on your desk. Maybe itâs just a coincidence. Besides who knows how many people help others to cross the street each day? You get your handkerchief and cover your nose just before you sneeze again. But what if it was me? You shake your head. Nope, the one I helped was Mr. Parkâsâunless theyâreâ
âYou know,â a voice interjects with your thoughts âI really think Mr. Park likes you.â He smiles but his eyes show otherwise. âHeâs asked me about you for like⊠four times already? Anyway, here,â he put a tiny bottle on your desk âYounghyun got it for you. I think that guy also likes you. Heâs been trying to spend time with you in every chance he getsâ
You roll your eyes and it accidentally land on a figure behind the glass wall of the Concept Teamâs room. Your best friend traces your line of vision and sees the first person he was talking about earlier.
âSee? Heâs looking towards your direction. I think he really likes youâ
âHe likes someone else, Pil,â you squint your eyes on him, âIâm more than 100% of that.â You see a glint of hope painted in his eyes, âHe swings the other way,â you declare before opening the bottle of medicine, âand you know, if you do like him, just say so. Youâve known each other way before, right? And if youâre worrying about me, then donât. I told you I donât like him that way. Besides⊠IâI think I like someone else,â you swallow a lump before drinking from the little bottle.
âYou think you like someone else?â He repeats. You smile to that fact that he did not deny that he likes the CEO.
âIs it possible to like someone you havenât known for even a month?â You lean back and stare at him with full of curiosity, âand not even knowing his name?â
He shrugs, âMaybe if you spend a lot of time together? Say, you talk and have fun everyday.â He nods âI think thatâs possible. You like someone whom you do not even know the name?â
You get off the elevator on the first floor after work and get welcomed by the CEOâs straight face. âDo you have an umbrella with you?â
âYes, Sir.â
âPlease be careful. And please, go home straight and donât go anywhere else anymore.â He demands and leaves you to get inside the elevator.
You crease your forehead in question as another young man calls you.
âCan I walk you home?â
âIâll go home by myself, Younghyun,â you smile faintly âDonât worry about me.â
âI insistâ
âNo, please. Thanks thoughâ
He sighs in surrender, âHow about this Saturday? Are you free?â
âSaturday?â You look away for a second as series of scenarios play in your head. When you threw a pillow to the Chicken Guy when he tricked you during a game, when he locks your head in his arm to tousle your hair because he lost, when you punch his arm whenever he tries to distract you, whenâ
âSo?â
âIâm sorry,â you fold your lips together âI have an appointment every Saturday.â Saturdays are video game day. âAnd even every afternoon after work.â
He slowly exhales as he musters up some courage, âThe thing isââ
âYounghyun,â you cut him off instantly âI really enjoy spending time with you. I love having coffees with you. But, Iâm sorry. Iââ
âItâs okay.â He beams almost forcefully, âLetâs just continue doing those things. Iâll see you tomorrow.â
Man, this sucks. You let out a sharp breath. You slowly head towards the shed, not minding the heavy rain and strong wind. Your right side getting wet even when youâre under the umbrella.
You keep sneezing and clearing your throat for almost three hours. Your lips are already quivering as you hug yourself. What am I even doing here? You cough. Youâre starting to feel light-headed and your stomach is also grumbling.
Upon hearing footsteps getting closer, you promptly look up only to see your boss standing outside the shed, holding an umbrella and looking at you sadly. With a sigh, he steps closer.
âGo home now,â he puts down his umbrella and takes his coat off before putting it on you. He holds your arm to support you for standing, âIâll take you home. Letâs go.â
Without a word, you follow him towards his car. He opens the door to the shotgun seat and waits for you to get in. You want to ask how he knew or saw you in the shed, and why heâs taking you homeâprobably just to look after his employee? If you didnât realize his little secret, maybe your best friendâs voice is already whispering in your head that your boss likes you. But of course, thatâs not the case.
After taking the driverâs seat, you stiffen when you hear the next words he utters âDonât wait tomorrow, tooâ
A lump forms in your throat and you didnât know swallowing could be hard. You release a soft breath, âDo you know the Chicken Guy, Sir?â You quiz when the engine starts.
âChicken?â He eyes you for a second as the edge of his lips lifts up and he starts driving. âI donât know any Chicken Guy, but let me take to a chicken place first because Iâm sure you havenât eaten yet.â
To your surprise, he stops outside the chicken place you always go to with the blue-haired guy. You flip your head to look at the CEO and he looks at you with a what-is-the-matter-look. Does he really not know? You sigh and lean back. Mr. Parkâs eyebrows furrow.
âArenât you getting off?â
You sigh, âIâm sorry, Sir. But may I ask if you can just take me home? Iâm not really hungry.â
âNo.â He says firmly âYou need to eat. I canât afford you getting sick. And Iâm also hungry, so letâs eatâ
âI repeat,â he utters in the middle of the meal âDonât go there and wait tomorrow.â
You clench your fists as your chest tightens. You feel your stomach flipping and you just want to throw up. You grab the glass of water and drink from it to calm yourself.
You should be asking questions to Mr. Park about what he knows, or what heâs talking about but instead you ask yourself whyâwhy is he not coming, why didnât he show up. Maybe he took my âadviceâ and just focused on that girl heâs interested in?
Leaving from work the next day, Mr. Park shows up just right before you take a step outside the companyâs building. Heâs making sure you go home straight and as much as he wants to accompany you, heâs waiting for an investorâs call to discuss a project.
Stubborn as you are, your feet still lead you towards the parkâthe shed.
Time passes slowly. An hour and a half comes by and not even a shadow of the Chicken Guy has showed up. You rub your hands together and cup your face, trying to lessen the cold feeling. Your eyes start watering and the edges are starting to heat up.
Losing hope, you breathe in and stand up to finally go home but the man youâve been waiting is just a few meters away from you, walking slowly towards the shed.
You bat your eyes to brush off the forming tears.
He greets you with a cough. âIâm sorry,â he says almost a whisper. Heâs hugging himself despite the multiple layers and thick coat heâs wearing. His eyes seem heavy but heâs forcing them to open.
Your eyes widen in realization and immediately close the distance between you. His knees almost give up but fortunately, youâre already beside him so you catch him before he falls down. Heâs burning up!
Itâs a struggle taking him to his apartment while holding an umbrella on the other hand. But thankfully, you put him on his bed successfully.
You get up to find a face towel or any cloth and cold water but the sound of vibrating phone catches your attention. Looking at the bedside table, the Chicken Guyâs phone is lighting up.
You donât want to answer it but it seems to have a few miscalls already. It might be important. Shall I?
The ring stops and the caller calls againâit only shows J.
âYo! Chicken little,â your grip on the phone tightens and so does your chest âwhy arenât you answering my calls? Iâm so d*mn worried. Youâre brother called me asking about you, too. Hello? Hello?! Hey, Chicken little, answer me!â
Itâs a girlâs voiceâa girl whoâs calling her Chicken other than you.
Thoughts please? :)
Chapter 6: Please
Also on:
* AsianFanfics
* archiveofourown
* twitter
Pairing: Jae x Reader (Fluff)
Characters: Day6. minor mentions of Got7
Word count: 2,790
Summary: Â Itâs frustrating when itâs raining and you donât have your umbrella with you. But that frustrating moment could turn into a romantic one when thereâs an attractive guy holding an umbrella beside youâlike those in books, movies or dramas, where the guy would offer to share his umbrella. A new love could bloomâor not.
Youâve been staring at your ceiling for quite a while now. You roll over, for the nth time, to your left and puff out sharply. Your heart has also been throbbing wildly for hours; and it beats more extremely when a scene flashes in your mind.
âYou were thinking about indirect kiss, arenât you? You want a direct one?â
You feel steam coming out from your face and you shake your head while kicking the air. You roll over to your right and ruffle your hair. Man, that Chicken! You glance at the digital clock on your bedside table. Itâs already 3:14 in the morning. You sit up and fix your eyes on your wall and once again think about what happened earlier.
His loud (coughs) adorable laugh spread the park after his remark. He was laughing so much from teasing you. You narrowed your eyes on him and slammed the bench as you leaned closer to him, making your left hand (the one you slammed on the bench) as a support. With your faces few inches apart from each other, you mumble, âYou want to?â
His laughing stopped and looked at you, quite surprised with how close you were to him, his gaze shifted down to your mouth. You arched a brow as if challenging him. With a smirk, you lift your hand (now with a pretzel between your thumb and index which you sneaked from his cup) and put the pretzel between your faces before taking a bite from it, with gaze still darted on his.
You leaned back with a smug and stuff the rest of the pretzel youâre holding to your mouth.
You stayed in the shed for another two hours just talking about random things again. It was almost 8:30 when he stood on the bench and fumbled something at the shedâs ceiling. He was holding a clear umbrella when he stood still.
You creased your forehead, âYou actually hid an umbrella there and youâre only taking it out now?â
He did his favorite moveâshrugging with a smug face. He went down the bench and opened the umbrella. âDinner?â
You didnât decline. Youâre already hungry (and want to stay a little bit longer with him) so a dinner before going home isnât a bad idea.
You found it astounding how you spent every afternoon with him for five consecutive days; how the two of you spent time together as if youâre good old friends; how you tease and bicker with each other; how you can talk about random things with easiness; how you eat snacks after work.
Doesnât it look like youâre having an after-work date with him everyday?
You wave your hand trying to dismiss the thought. With a sigh, you get off from your bed and walk towards your computer unit.
âFortnite? Overwatch? Far Cry? Hmm⊠what shall I play?â You continue scanning your games but in the end, you choose Minecraft.
You play until the sunâs up. You look at your window and see that itâs already bright outside. âCrap,â you save your game and turn your computer off. You grab a sweater and take your keys before heading out.
You grab breakfast from the nearest diner and youâre craving for coffee but decide not to drink one. You yawn as you walk back to your place, âFinally! Hope Iâll be getting some sleep nowâ
You sleep the whole morning and itâs already three minutes after 2pm when you wake up. Your grumbling tummy greets you. You take a shower and dress neatly, take an oversized hoodie and tie it on your waist, get a small sling bag and stuff your phone, wallet, and keys and head out for lunch.
Youâre walking near the chicken place when an arm rests on your head. Without taking a look, you roll your eyes, âAre you stalking me?â
He scoffs, âYou wish, Dudeâ he ruffles your hair and puts his arm on your shoulder. âMust be fate,â he chuckles
âEw,â you grimace âI didnât know youâre a romanticâ
Brushing your remark aside, he looks at you and asks where youâre headed to. âLunch? Itâs already late for oneâ
âI woke up late,â you explain.
âOhâŠâ the side of his lips lifts âSeems like someoneâs been up all night thinking of meâ
You elbow his stomach which gains a soft groan from him. âStop assuming, Misterâ
He sniggers, âOh, stop assuming, Missy. I didnât say itâs you. Why act guilty?â
He goes with you as you eat your lunch. He does not order a single thing. He just sits in front of you, elbows on the table, fingers intertwinedâchin rests on them, and watches you chew on your food the whole time.
He reaches for your drink and sips on it. You glance at him and look back to your plate. Itâs not a big deal. He arches a brow at your reaction before he puts back the glass on the table.
âSo where are you going now?â He asks when you finish your meal.
You shrug and lean back. âGo home?â
âWanna come to my place?â He suggests casually and you stare at him with wide eyes.
-
âAw!â You cry âWait! That hurts!â You grimace as he chuckles
âI told you, Iâm good at this.â Even without looking at him, you can tell heâs wearing a smug on his face
âDo you really have to do it from behind? Wait, aw!â You take your hands away from the mouse and the keyboard and glare at him âI told you no rifles!â You hiss âThat was SSG 08, wasnât it? Youâre such a cheat!â
He dragged you to his apartment after you had eaten your lunch. It took you by surprise when he suggested it but when he told you to play games with him (because he has two computer units), your eyes sparkled.
He just chuckles as he half-heartedly murmurs his sorry. You crack your knuckles (getting serious) before getting your hair tie from your wrist, gather your hair and tie it in a ponytail. You smirk.
âOkay, Iâll stop.â The blue-haired straightens up âAlright, letâs just use pistols like how we originally agreed.â
When another round starts, your fingers hit the keys right away. B+1+4 to load your secondary weapon with Night Hawk .50C pistol; B+4+5 to buy a Magnum Sniper Rifle as your primary weapon. B+6+2 to equip yourself with Kevlar and helmet and you also buy some grenades.
You hit the number 3 key to load yourself with a knife to move faster. Â You dash to the tunnel, hit the 4, and throw a grenade inside. Fire in the hole! You move to the side, press down the left control button to duck, and shoot when the chicken guy went out of the tunnel. You jump from left to right while shooting and run back to hide from a wall. You shift to rifle and make a headshot when he becomes visible from your sight.
âHa!â You spite
The chicken guy half-spread his forearms in disbelief, âWhat the heck!â He exclaims. âYou said no rifles!â
âSaid the one who shot me with a rifle on the first roundâ You retort.
You both decide to use whatever weapon to avoid the cheating. Itâs a close game but youâre leading.
âWhat? Planting bomb?â
âYou didnât say anything about not planting bomb earlier,â you snigger.
You both keep playing that you do not notice the time passing. If itâs not for your grumbling stomach, you would not have noticed itâs already night time.
You gasp, âOh shoot! Itâs past 7?â
The other takes a glance on his wrist watch and suggests to call it a day. You brush your hands twice before crossing your arms and turn to him, âYou lose!â You paint a smug âWell, letâs go have some dinner. Youâre payingâ
He protests, saying you didnât have any pact about it, but still pays for your dinner an hour after. You find it mirthful how you seem like youâve known each other for ages that you just casually talk nonstop and laugh with each other comfortably. He even had his forearm on your shoulder again when you were walking and finding a place to eat.
And as if the hours youâve spent with each other earlier arenât still enough, you go towards the shed after the meal.
âWhat caught your interest lately?â You quiz few moments after you talked about some video games and just as when the rain starts pouring âLike, of course, other than games.â
He smiles briefly, not his usual big smileâitâs just small but deep. He leans back, both hands on the bench. âMore than a week ago,â he starts âMe and my grandma went to visit my grandfatherâs grave for his death anniversary. We were on our way to see my brother after that. So I was talking on the phone with him when my grandma suddenly crossed the roadâtechnically, she saw someone who looked like my grandpa,â he pauses and smiles. You take a gulp hoping nothing bad had happened. âThen there was this lady who stopped her and brought her back to the sidewalk. I still havenât realized it then. I only noticed that grandmotherâs gone was after a few moment when people started moving to cross the street. She wasnât behind me and when I looked around, she was already in the middle of the road, her right hand was held by that young ladyâshe was helping her to cross.â
âSo,â you trail off. You clear your throat before speaking again, âthis girl caught your interest? Did you talk to her? Thanked her?â You unconsciously bite your lower lip as a brow arches.
âI was supposed to thank her that day. I hurriedly crossed the street, and when I was just like a meter away, I stood still. I found out she works at my bââ he tilts his head a bit âshe works in the same company as my brother; she was wearing the companyâs lanyard. Few days after that, I managed to talk to her,â he pauses and slowly turns his head towards you, âI talk to her everyday.â
âAh,â you respond dryly as you walk away âI see.â
âAt first I just really wanted to thank her,â he continues âIf it had not been for her, I mightâve lost my grandma, tooâexactly a year after I lost my grandpa.â He exhales before he lifts his hand âThis is his wristwatchâmy grandfatherâs watch.â He licks his lips before flashing a smile as he puts down his hand âShe piqued my curiosity. Sheâs genuinely niceâalthough not that nice to me; sheâs really really fun to be with. I also love teasing her a lot because she bickers back. And I look forward to seeing her every single day.â
âHmm,â you nod. Your eyes canât focus on a single thing to look at. You really want to call it a night already but the rain just falls heavier. You fold your lips together as you think of what else to ask or say. Maybe I shouldnât have asked.
The blue-haired stretches and moves a few inches away from you. To your surprise, he suddenly lays himself on the bench, making your lap as his pillow. You ask yourself why youâre not complaining but instead you stare down at his soft silky face. His eyes are shut, his lips twitch a bit. As if your right hand has its mind of its own, it moves towards his head and your fingers start stroking his hair causing his lips to stretch in a smile.
âI donât think the rain will stop any time soon,â he declares âlet me take a nap for a bit. I couldnât really sleep last night from thinking of that girlâwondering if Iâd see her today even if itâs her day off.â
Your nose scrunches as you hastily brush his face with your hand. He laughs and grabs your hand to stop you. He holds it for a while, grazing his thumb on your palm, before putting it back on his head, motioning you to stroke his hair again. A lump forms in your throat and you swallow it as you oblige.
The audacity to talk about another girl while youâre with a girlâand even held her hand and placed your head on her lap right after you talked about the other one! You exhale a long breath before batting your eyelids briskly after feeling your eyes starting to heat up. What is wrong with me?
 âMaybe, heâs making her jealous?â Wonpil suspects when you ask him what could be the meaning if a guy spends time with a girl every afternoon, eats snack and dinner with her, held her hand (even for a brief moment), and lays on her lap, but talks about another girl with so much fondness in his eyes.
Itâs been two days, and you didnât see him yesterday. He has mentioned about spending every Sunday with his grandmother so you just spent the whole day playing Far Cry.
âWhy did you ask though?â Your best friend quizzes âYouâve been seeing someone?â
âHere, you hold these first.â You give him the cups and straighten up âIâll take a quick piss before we head upstairsâ
After doing your business, you see your best friend pouting (as usual) while his eyes are darted on someone. Youâre not even surprised to spot the CEO when you trace Wonpilâs line of vision.
The next few hours are a blur. Maybe you just want to call it a day already and head somewhere.
âYouâre going to the pantry?â Jackson asks when he sees you walking in the hallway. He strides fast to walk beside you.
âNah,â you smile âto the library. You need me to make coffee for Mr. Park?â
You jump a little bit when he goes in front of you, puts his hands on each of your shoulder and pierces your eyes. âI need you to listen to something,â his gaze continues to dart on you as he waits for your response.
You lift both eyebrows and shrug, âWhat is it?â
âI found this song and Iâve been kind of singing it since this morning,â he grins âI need a companyâ
He gives you one of the earpieces before he fumbles on his phone. You nod when you start hearing the plucking of the guitar. You glance at Jackson and give him an approval look. His grin becomes wider and throws a fist into the air as if he just made an achievement.
I'm the kind of guy
Your jaw drops upon hearing the first line. Your heart starts beating uncontrollably. His voice sounds like him!
That'll love to love you baby
You're the kind of girl
I would give up everything for
You take a gulp. Unconsciously, you start breathing heavily; shoulders are moving up and down.
Baby all I need is your loving all around me
Oooo don't that sound kind of nice
Hey yeah ~
Your cheeks start to heat up. You can feel yourself turning red. It really sounds like him! You bite your lip as you try to keep your thoughts from wandering to the memory from two nights ago.
There is just one thing
That I need to ask you baby
Jackson starts singing and you have the urge to put a hand on his mouth to make him quiet.
Can we take this kind of slow?
Cause I don't want to mess up
Never felt like this before
And I feel I'm going crazy
âWho sung this?â You finally let your curiosity take over
Jackson  takes off the earpiece, âOh!â he sniggers âMr. Parkâs brother when he was younger. I think this was⊠3 years ago?â
âMr. Parkâs brother?â You affirm âThe one who reviews our games?â
âYeah. His only brother. Oh wait,â Jackson shifts his focus on his phone, âI downloaded his video. Let me show you. He used to have this big rimmed square glasses,â he gestures a square shape. âHere,â as if on cue, the screen changes to Mr. Parkâs name âOh sh*t! SungjinâI mean, Mr. Parkâs calling. Gotta go!â
He dashes away and you let your left shoulder lean on the wall before your knees give up. Must be my imagination.
âYou okay?â a fox-eyed young man appears behind you.
âIâm fine.â You straighten up âThanks for asking though, Younghyunâ
Thoughts please? :)
Chapter 5: Burn
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