This is the First Day of My Life

[ahhahhalexis]

"it's difficult loving someone when they don't love you enough to fight for you. it really makes you question your self worth"

[ahhahhalexis]

dude i'm just waiting for the day when i wake up and i don't feel this overwhelming weight on my chest and i don't feel this wave of dread like "ughhhh this is another day i need to survive" this isn't the first time and i know i will eventually be okay but god getting through this process of moving on fucking sucks

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

It’s okay to change your yes to a no. Yes’s aren’t permanent. They’re something we choose again and again, each and every day. Something we have the right to recall and reconsider as soon as saying yes no longer feels conducive to our wellbeing and happiness. It d.oesn’t matter whether you said yes to a job, a date, a relationship, sex, a favor to a friend, a social endeavor, or a vow of silence — you don’t ever have to commit to something that forces you to compromise who you are and what feels right; especially if it’s something you agreed to under pressure, intimidation, or force. Changing your yes to a no might make people angry. It might hurt their feelings, cause them to see you as a flake, and result in lost connections. But if saying no means staying true to yourself, honoring your feelings, and making self-care a priority, it’s worth it. You are worth it. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

Daniell Koepke (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

When there’s a fresh wound in your heart, keep it open until it heals. Air it out. Understand it. Dive into it. Be fierce enough to become it. If you ignore it, it won’t be able to breath. If you ignore it, it will merely deepen, spread, and resurface later, wanting to release. And when later happens, it will hurt even more, because when later happens, you won’t know what you’re bleeding for. Remain with it until it clears, and watch the beauty pour into your openness. Remain open to feel lightness. Remain open to feel free.

Victoria Erickson (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

[ahhahhalexis]

I hate writing super long posts on Tumblr because whenever I do, it’s usually just me complaining and ranting about trivial problems a 21 year old girl has. So I try to keep everything on here short, sweet, and simple (unless you go back to my Tumblr from 2009-2013 lol it’s pretty melodramatic and cringe worthy, but you’ve been warned if you decide to trek that far back). But for my own sanity, I think this needs to be written. 

Friends with benefits is a tough relationship to maintain with someone. You need to set the boundaries loud and clear to ensure that no feelings are developed or else someone gets fucked in the end (no pun intended). It gets more complicated when you actually have a good friendship with this person, when you hang out with them all the time, when you actually sleep during sleepovers, because essentially that’s what friends do. But when you mix sex on top of all of these things, then is it still a friends with benefits relationship? Or is it gearing towards an actual relationship? 

So now you’re left with one party who wants more from this arrangement while the other wants nothing more than a consistent lay and company to cuddle with at night. When this roadblock comes, both parties usually reconvene and discuss what should be done. While both know that this arrangement should end because if they continue this any further the one who has started having feelings will dig themselves into a bigger hole of insecurity, both decide to brush it off and pretend that it is not an issue for the sake of still having each other’s company, and of course, for sex.

So where does this leave us now? We’re left with one person resenting their friend, for never being able to reciprocate the feelings that he or she desires for them, as well as hating themselves for not having the self respect to walk away from someone who isn’t willing to completely commit to just him or her. It also leads one to question just how much the other values and respects not only you as a person but your friendship as well because why would they continue this if they know it’s hurting you? 

I guess my entire point of all of this is, be the bigger person and walk away. Have self control. Your friendship might already be compromised, but try and salvage whatever is left by ceasing this to continue any further. You deserve someone who is willing to attach to you completely if that’s what you want and don’t settle for less. I know it’s hard, especially when you have a consistent fuck just right there in front of you, not to mention the fact that you’re already friends so it’s comfortable, easy, and convenient. But I think the main problem with friends with benefits is that you get lost in the sex, and the intimacy, and the connection, and it turns into this desire to be with this person that only festered because of raging hormones. And sometimes, that’s how relationships start and kudos to you if yours began this way and is thriving. But for the rest of us, it just leaves us confused and overthinking and questioning the intentions, motives, and actions of our counterpart. 

You can’t change people. You can’t change their thinking. You can’t change their feelings. You can’t make someone like you if they don’t, regardless if their actions speak otherwise. And that’s okay. It’s hard not to take it personally when they’re going for someone else and you have a great catch like yourself just standing there with open arms. But do you really want to be with someone who doesn’t want you wholeheartedly anyway? 

[ahhahhalexis]

lol tbt

[latinahoops]

Why do moms over share things about your life to people who don’t matter

[dateagirlwhosuggestion]

date a girl who stops mid-sentence to tell you there’s a dog nearby

[just-shower-thoughts]

I wonder what I’m going to have a crippling panic attack about when I’m smoking weed legally.

[slapmytitties]

These three emojis pretty much sums up how I feel all the time tbh

[twitterlols]

this is the only love story i care about

[thelovejournals]

It has made me better, loving you.

Henry James, The Portrait of a Lady (via tiffhunnny)

[love-personal]

Nevel Shall I Ever

[pixelemperor]

[kushandwizdom]

[introvertunites]

23 Emotions People Feel But Can’t Explain

Sonder: The realization that each passerby has a life as vivid and complex as your own.

Opia: The ambiguous intensity of Looking someone in the eye, which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable.

Monachopsis: The subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place.

Énouement: The bittersweetness of having arrived in the future, seeing how things turn out, but not being able to tell your past self.

Vellichor: The strange wistfulness of used bookshops.

Rubatosis: The unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat.

Kenopsia: The eerie, forlorn atmosphere of a place that is usually bustling with people but is now abandoned and quiet.

Mauerbauertraurigkeit: The inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends who you really like.

Jouska: A hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head.

Chrysalism: The amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm.

Vemödalen: The frustration of photographic something amazing when thousands of identical photos already exist.

Anecdoche: A conversation in which everyone is talking, but nobody is listening

Ellipsism: A sadness that you’ll never be able to know how history will turn out.

Kuebiko: A state of exhaustion inspired by acts of senseless violence.

Lachesism: The desire to be struck by disaster – to survive a plane crash, or to lose everything in a fire.

Exulansis: The tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it.

Adronitis: Frustration with how long it takes to get to know someone.

Rückkehrunruhe: The feeling of returning home after an immersive trip only to find it fading rapidly from your awareness.

Nodus Tollens: The realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore.

Onism: The frustration of being stuck in just one body, that inhabits only one place at a time.

Liberosis: The desire to care less about things.

Altschmerz: Weariness with the same old issues that you’ve always had – the same boring flaws and anxieties that you’ve been gnawing on for years.

Occhiolism: The awareness of the smallness of your perspective.

Source John Koenig, writer and creator of The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows.

[serious]

So far you’ve survived 100% of your worst days. You’re doing great.

a gentle remember (via serious)

[craved-deactivated20230908]

Love is a mixture of “leave me alone” with “stay a little more.”

Los Hermanos.   (via alterated)