EXPECTATIONS

JVL
Not today Justin

if i look back, i am lost
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

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@aifolksongs101
🎼 Instrumental Playlist for The Selection — Chapter by Chapter
Arrival of the Letter — “Awakening” (Audiomachine) Hope, possibility, and the first spark of destiny.
The Announcement — “A New Beginning” (Alexandre Desplat) A soft but rising sense of change and inevitability.
Aspen’s Sacrifice — “Elegy” (James Newton Howard) Tender, aching, intimate.
The Fight & the Breakup — “The End” (Ramin Djawadi) Emotional fracture with restrained intensity.
Entering the Palace — “The Grand Arrival” (Trevor Morris) Regal, sweeping, awe-filled.
Meeting the Girls — “Courtly Intrigue” (Bear McCreary) Light tension, social maneuvering, glittering edges.
First Night in the Palace — “Moonlit Garden” (Joe Hisaishi) Soft wonder, quiet magic.
Meeting Maxon — “First Light” (Ludovico Einaudi) Gentle, curious, warm.
The Deal with Maxon — “Promise” (Thomas Bergersen) A pact forming, hopeful but uncertain.
Settling Into Palace Life — “Becoming” (Dustin O’Halloran) Soft growth, new rhythms, subtle transformation.
The First Attack — “Tension Rising” (Hans Zimmer) Urgency, danger, pounding pulse.
Maxon’s Kindness — “Light of the Seven” (Ramin Djawadi) Slow-building emotional resonance.
The First Date — “A Tender Heart” (Nicholas Britell) Romantic, delicate, blooming.
America’s Honesty — “Truth” (Ólafur Arnalds) Quiet vulnerability, emotional clarity.
The Report — “The Coronation” (James Newton Howard) Public spectacle, pressure, poise.
Aspen Returns — “Reunion” (Max Richter) Bittersweet, conflicted, intimate.
Torn Between Two — “Two Worlds” (Thomas Newman) Emotional duality, drifting tension.
The Rebels Return — “Storm is Coming” (Immediate Music) Chaotic, pounding, cinematic.
Maxon’s Confession — “Heart of Courage (Piano Version)” (Two Steps From Hell) Soft power, emotional bravery.
America’s Jealousy — “Fractured” (Clint Mansell) Sharp, tense, emotional turbulence.
The Princess Lessons — “Etiquette” (Patrick Doyle) Elegant, refined, slightly playful.
The Elimination — “Farewell” (Dario Marianelli) Somber, reflective, bittersweet.
The Final Six — “Destiny’s Door” (Audiomachine) Triumphant, rising, future‑facing.
"Grandma, I need to say something that’s been weighing on me for a long time. When I tried to share my feelings with you, you shut me out. You told me 'my feelings come first,' and whether you remember saying that or not, it made me feel invisible and unimportant. That moment—and others like it—taught me that my emotions didn’t matter to you.
I’ve tried to reach out, to explain, to be heard. But every time I did, you dismissed me or denied your actions. That’s not love. That’s not accountability. And it’s not something I can keep subjecting myself to.
This isn’t about revenge or drama—it’s about protecting myself. I’m not asking for an apology. I’m asking you to understand that your choices have consequences. I’ve made mine. I’m stepping away because I deserve peace, and I haven’t found it in this relationship."
Hi Grandma,
I need to be honest with you about something that’s been weighing on me. When I told you I was pregnant and asked you not to argue with me, I was feeling vulnerable and overwhelmed. Your response—saying your feelings come first—hurt me deeply. It made me feel like my emotions and my well-being didn’t matter.
I’ve noticed that when conflict happens, you often avoid acknowledging it or pretend it didn’t happen. That makes it hard for me to trust that my feelings are safe with you. I need people in my life who respect my boundaries, especially now as I prepare to become a mother.
Because of this, I’ve decided not to include you in my baby shower or in my child’s life right now. This isn’t about punishment—it’s about protecting my peace and creating a healthy environment for my baby.
If you ever want to rebuild trust, it starts with accountability and empathy. I’m open to that, but only if you’re willing to truly listen and respect the boundaries I’ve set.
Caitlyn
The Four Courts of Velmire Academy
🌙 Lunaris Court – The Moon Court
Elemental Affinity: Water & Spirit Core Traits:
Intuition, memory, illusion, emotional depth
Dream magic, herbology, divination, celestial rituals
Members often have fae or witch bloodlines
Known for empathy, secrecy, and inner strength
Aesthetic: Whimsigoth, moonlight gardens, star maps, velvet and silver tones Typical Students: Sensitive, mysterious, emotionally intelligent, often underestimated Symbol: Crescent moon entwined with vines
🔥 Solis Court – The Sun Court
Elemental Affinity: Fire & Light Core Traits:
Ambition, charisma, leadership, performance
Magic of light, glamour, persuasion, and elemental fire
Often includes noble-born witches and warlocks
Aesthetic: Golden embroidery, sun motifs, marble halls, dramatic robes Typical Students: Bold, proud, competitive, often the “golden child” archetype Symbol: Radiant sun with a flame at its center
🌑 Umbra Court – The Shadow Court
Elemental Affinity: Earth & Shadow Core Traits:
Rebellion, secrecy, vengeance, survival
Shadow magic, necromancy, blood rites, transformation
Often includes werewolves, cursed beings, and outcasts
Aesthetic: Leather, dark stone, wolf emblems, candlelit crypts Typical Students: Cynical, intense, fiercely loyal, often feared Symbol: Black wolf howling at a blood moon
🌿 Terra Court – The Earth Court
Elemental Affinity: Earth & Nature Core Traits:
Stability, tradition, craftsmanship, resilience
Magic of plants, minerals, alchemy, and healing
Often includes druids, herbalists, and elemental mages
Aesthetic: Moss-covered libraries, botanical greenhouses, rune-carved wood Typical Students: Grounded, wise, nurturing, sometimes rigid Symbol: Tree with roots wrapping around a crystal
The Stars Remember Her
📚 Book Summary
At the prestigious and secretive Velmire Academy, where magic and madness intertwine, four Courts rule the student body—and Zavien Remington rules the fiercest of them all. A punk werewolf with a leather-clad snarl and a vendetta burning in his chest, Zavien is determined to uncover the truth behind his sister’s death, which he suspects was orchestrated by the Academy’s sinister Head Professor.
Sybille “Sybbie” Blair, a sweet-natured herbologist and heir to a powerful magical dynasty, arrives at Velmire under the weight of expectation: marry into power, uphold her family’s legacy, and never question the past. But Sybbie’s past is a lie—her memories fabricated, her identity manipulated. When she’s assigned to Zavien’s Court during the Trials, sparks fly, secrets unravel, and enemies become something far more dangerous: lovers.
As the Trials grow deadlier and the Academy’s secrets claw their way to the surface, Zavien and Sybbie must navigate forbidden love, unravel their twisted histories, and survive the haunting truth that binds them. One bed. One chance. One unraveling of sanity.
🏛️ Setting: Velmire Academy
Four Courts: Each Court represents a magical faction—Lunaris (Moon), Solis (Sun), Umbra (Shadow), and Terra (Earth). Zavien leads Umbra, the most feared and rebellious.
Whimsigoth Aesthetic: Velvet-draped libraries, candlelit alchemy labs, moonlit greenhouses, and enchanted corridors.
Dark Academia Vibe: Gothic architecture, secret societies, cursed tomes, and whispered legends.
Evil Head Professor: Professor Thorne, a warlock with a chilling smile and a penchant for mind manipulation, oversees the Trials and hides a dark connection to Sybbie’s fabricated past.
🔥 Plot Structure
Act I: Arrival & Collision
Sybbie arrives at Velmire, assigned to Umbra Court.
Zavien bullies her, testing her resolve—classic enemies-to-lovers tension.
They’re forced to share a room (and one bed) due to a magical housing glitch.
Sybbie begins to experience memory glitches and visions of a different childhood.
Act II: Trials & Secrets
The Academy launches its annual Trials—dangerous magical challenges meant to test loyalty, power, and sanity.
Zavien uncovers clues linking his sister’s death to Professor Thorne.
Sybbie discovers her memories were implanted by Thorne to control her magical potential.
Their animosity turns to reluctant alliance, then forbidden attraction.
Act III: Revelations & Rebellion
Zavien’s royal lineage is revealed—he’s heir to a hidden werewolf monarchy.
Sybbie’s real identity surfaces—she’s the daughter of a powerful fae-witch union, hidden to protect her from a prophecy.
They lead a rebellion against the Academy’s corrupt leadership.
Final Trial: confront Thorne, survive the collapse of Velmire’s magical foundation, and choose love over legacy.
🧬 Main Characters
Zavien Remington
Species: Werewolf
Role: Head of Umbra Court
Traits: Punk aesthetic, leather jackets, wolf emblems, sharp wit
Arc: From cynical bully to protective lover; discovers his royal blood and reclaims his purpose
Court: Umbra Court
Sybille “Sybbie” Blair
Species: Witch (with hidden fae lineage)
Role: Herbologist, new student
Traits: Whimsigoth fashion, cardigan with celestial prints, gentle demeanor
Arc: From anxious people-pleaser to fierce truth-seeker; breaks free from her fabricated past
Court: Lunaris Court
Professor Worricrow
Species: Warlock
Role: Head Professor, antagonist
Traits: Cold, manipulative, elegant menace
Arc: Mastermind behind Sybbie’s memory manipulation and Zavien’s sister’s death
Court: Solis Court
Dead Best Friend (Flashbacks)
Name: Ivy
Role: Sybbie’s childhood friend (real or fabricated?)
Arc: Her death holds the key to Sybbie’s true identity
💔 Themes
Identity vs. Illusion
Power vs. Love
Sanity vs. Madness
Rebellion against legacy
Healing through forbidden connection
World Building Threads of Smoke and Shadow
The Big World:
Goverment: Vostagrad Empire
Magic: Inheritance-Based Magic: Magic is passed through bloodlines, but not all gifts are equal. Everyone's gift may be a “Truthsight” or “Unweaving”—the ability to see through illusions and unravel enchantments. "Light magic" is rare
Schools of Magic:
Glamourcraft-Illusions, memory rewriting, emotional veils-Nobles, courtiers
Chronoglyphs-Time-bending sigils, used to delay aging or rewind moments-Imperial archivists
Steambinding-Fusion of magic and machinery; animates constructs and vehicles-Engineers, rebels
Soulweaving-Manipulates emotions, dreams, and spiritual essence-Priests, interrogators
Truthsight-Rare gift to see through lies, illusions, and magical constructs- exiled seers
Lumenveil- is the ancient and nearly forgotten art of unraveling illusions and revealing hidden truths. It doesn’t just emit light—it pierces veils, exposes lies, and even burns through enchantments woven into memory or emotion. It’s feared by the ruling elite because it threatens the very foundation of their control: secrecy and manipulation.
History:
The Ascension of the Tsar-Magus (Founding Era)
A powerful mage-warrior named Tsar-Magus Vostan I rose from obscurity, wielding Lumenveil—the light magic Elenya inherits.
He united the clans through diplomacy, sorcery, and brutal conquest, forging the Vostagrad Empire.
He established the Doctrine of Obedience, binding nobles and mages to imperial law through enchanted oaths.
Legend:
“When the Veil is pierced by one born of light, the Flame shall rise again. And the empire shall see itself.”
Elenya is that spark. Her magic, her lineage, her awakening—it’s not just rebellion. It’s the fulfillment of a legend buried beneath centuries of lies.
Religion: The Five Saints of Vostagrad. (Saint Vostan The Flamebearer, Saint Serenya the Unveiler, Saint Alexei of The Ashen Mirror, Saint Mikhail The Bound, and Saint Anya of The Silent Sigil)
Culture: Magic is hereditary, and bloodlines are obsessively tracked. Families with rare gifts (like Lumenveil) are revered—or feared.
Children born with magic are tested in infancy and assigned a Sigil of Lineage, a tattooed rune that marks their magical potential and social rank.
The Small World:
Elenya
Desires: wants to be free from her aunt to explore the world
Fears: fearing she would disappoint and disobedient to her aunt.
Misbeliefs: "I am safe in the Tower of Smoke"
The Inner World:
Occupation: Elenya housekeeps the Tower of Smoke when her aunt is away
Social struggles: She is hidden from her unknown powers cast by her aunt.
Friends: she has no friends
Family: Her family were thought to be dead.
Enemies: Her aunt Lady Vasilia
Dark Academia book challenge
Dark Academia romance book
Tropes:
. Enemies to Lovers
. Forbidden Love
. Beauty and The Beast vibes
. "The Bully"
Dark Academia Ingredients:
. Romance Dark Academia
. paranormal species (witches, faes, warlocks, werewolves, etc)
. Evil Head Professor
. Trials/challenge
. Whimsigoth vibes with old libraries, and alchemy
. Academies with Four Courts
Romance Tropes:
. One Bed only
. Social Castes
. Good girl/Bad boy
. Punk X Millionare
. Dead best friend
. One is keeping their sanity in order
Male Main character Zavien Remington:
. Bad boy and Punk
. Werewolf
. struggles: Avenging the death of his sister
. Strengths: charming, ambitious, decisive, and mysterious
. Weakness : cynical, sarcastic, apathetic demeanor, and narcissistic.
. Head of his Court
. * leather jackets, and wolf emblems
Plot twist he's secretly a...: Secret royal
Female main character Sybille "Sybbie" Blair:
. Good girl
. millionare
. witch
. struggles: Expected to marry into power
. Strengths: sweet, optimistic, and caring.
. Weakness: intense anxiety and fear, desire to leave her upper-class family. People pleaser.
. Herbologist
. * long cardigan sweaters with moon, suns, and stars prints, whimisigoth vibes
. Plot twist she's secretly a...: Fabricated memories, her entire childhood was a lie, implanted by someone who wanted to control her.
"My goal is to give birth in a space that honors the natural process of labor and respects my bodily autonomy. I prefer a calm, private environment where I am not coached or yelled at by multiple people. I do not consent to routine medical interventions unless medically necessary and discussed with me in advance. I want the freedom to move, vocalize, and labor in positions that feel instinctive—especially avoiding the traditional supine position with legs in stirrups. I ask that my expressions of pain be met with compassion, not suppression. I want to be supported, not silenced."
Threads of Smoke and Shadow
🕯️ Novel Summary
In a tsarpunk, Vostagrad empire steeped in magic and political intrigue, a young woman named Elenya has spent her life hidden away in a tower cloaked by illusion. Raised by a manipulative noblewoman who claims to be her aunt, Elenya believes the outside world is too dangerous for someone with her rare magical gift. But when a rogue cartographer named Malrik stumbles upon her sanctuary, Elenya begins to question everything she’s been told.
As they flee across a fractured empire ruled by shadow and steam, Elenya uncovers the truth about her lineage, her power, and the web of lies spun to keep her obedient. But freedom comes at a cost—and the deeper she dives into the world, the more she realizes that manipulation isn’t just personal. It’s systemic.
🧭 Plot Outline
Act I: The Tower of Smoke
Elenya lives in isolation, her magical light powers (imbued with Grisha-like power) used by her “aunt” to fuel illusions and control.
Malrik, a disillusioned mapmaker with a hidden agenda, discovers the tower while fleeing imperial enforcers.
Elenya escapes with him, believing she’s finally free—but her aunt’s voice still echoes in her mind.
Act II: The Empire of Masks
Elenya and Malrik journey through the empire, encountering tsarpunk cities, steam-powered carriages, and Grisha-like factions.
Elenya begins to master her powers, but Malrik’s evasiveness raises doubts.
Flashbacks and visions reveal that Elenya’s memories have been altered—her aunt may not be her only manipulator.
Act III: The Unveiling
Elenya confronts Malrik, who admits he was hired to retrieve her for a rival noble house.
She must choose between reclaiming her autonomy or using her powers to reshape the empire.
In a climactic confrontation, Elenya turns the tools of manipulation against her oppressors, rewriting the narrative of her life.
🎭 Characters
Name,Personality & Goals Role
Elenya-Curious, emotionally intelligent, but deeply uncertain. Wants freedom and truth.Protagonist; a magical heir hidden from the world.
Malrik-Charming, secretive, morally gray. Seeks redemption and escape from his past.Antihero; helps Elenya escape but hides his motives.
Lady Vasilia-Cold, elegant, manipulative. Believes control is love.Antagonist; Elenya’s “aunt” and emotional captor.
Captain Serev-Loyal to the empire, but questions its ethics.Secondary antagonist; hunts Elenya and Malrik.
The Whispering Court-A secret society of illusionists and memory-weavers.Symbolic of systemic gaslighting and control.
💡 Themes & Symbolism
Gaslighting as Empire: Emotional manipulation mirrors political propaganda and historical revisionism.
Light as Memory: Elenya’s magical light stores memories—cutting it is both liberation and loss.
Maps & Truth: Malrik’s maps represent distorted truths; only Elenya can “redraw” reality.
Until my Heart Gives in chapters
1. Mirror, Mirror – Lila reflects on her lost identity and fractured friendship with her ex-BFF, now a social queen.
2. The Boy Next Door – Ethan moves in next door, mysterious and magnetic. Lila is instantly intrigued—and annoyed.
3. Ghosts of Glitter – Lila attends a party where her ex-BFF humiliates her. A quirky sidekick named Juno offers comic relief.
4. Motorcycle Midnight – Ethan rescues Lila from a bad situation. Sparks fly, but so do insults.
5. Paranormal Proximity – Lila catches Ethan doing something… not quite human. He brushes it off.
6. Pact and Proposal – Lila’s family reveals a supernatural pact: she must marry Ethan to protect their bloodline.
7. Fake It Till You’re Furious – Lila and Ethan agree to fake-date to buy time. Cue awkward dinners and forced hand-holding.
8. Mean Girl Mayhem – Lila confronts her ex-BFF, who hints at knowing Ethan’s secret.
9. Mirrorheart – Lila begins seeing strange visions in mirrors—memories that aren’t hers.
10. The Arrangement – The fake dating escalates into an official arranged engagement. Ethan is oddly quiet.
11. Grumpy Meets Sunshine – Ethan and Lila clash over everything. Their chemistry is undeniable.
12. Unrequited Echoes – Lila confesses her lingering feelings for someone else. Ethan overhears.
13. Juno’s Joke – Juno drops cryptic hints about death and unfinished business.
14. The Motorcycle Ride – Ethan takes Lila on a wild ride through the city. They bond.
15. Paranormal Reveal – Ethan admits he’s part fae—bound by a curse that limits his freedom.
16. The Pact Deepens – Lila learns her family’s pact is tied to Ethan’s curse.
17. Mirror Visions – Lila sees Ethan’s tragic past in the mirror. She begins to understand him.
18. The Mean Girl’s Secret – Lila discovers her ex-BFF was once in love with Ethan.
19. The Kiss – A heated argument turns into a passionate kiss. Both are shaken.
20. The Road Trip Begins – Lila, Ethan, and Juno set off to find answers about the curse.
21. Motel Madness – Forced to share a room, Lila and Ethan’s tension reaches a boiling point.
22. Ghost Town – They visit a haunted district where mirrors whisper truths.
23. Juno’s Disappearance – Juno vanishes mysteriously.
24. The Mirror Oracle – Lila meets a mirror spirit who reveals Ethan’s soul is fractured.
25. Ethan’s Breakdown – Ethan confesses he’s tired of fighting fate. Lila comforts him.
26. The Mean Girl Returns – Lila’s ex-BFF shows up, revealing she’s part of the pact too.
27. Juno’s Truth – They discover Juno died years ago—she’s been a ghost all along.
28. The Pact’s Price – Lila learns that freeing Ethan means sacrificing her own future.
29. The Second Kiss – Lila and Ethan kiss again—this time, with full vulnerability.
30. The Choice Looms – Lila must decide: love or freedom?
31. The Mirror Cracks – Lila breaks a magical mirror, unleashing buried memories.
32. Ethan’s Past – Ethan reveals the full story of his curse and the love he lost.
33. Juno’s Goodbye – Juno helps them one last time before fading away.
34. The Wedding – The arranged marriage ceremony begins. Lila hesitates.
35. The Escape Plan – Ethan tries to flee to protect Lila. She stops him.
36. The Mean Girl’s Redemption – Lila’s ex-BFF helps break the pact.
37. The Final Mirror – Lila faces her reflection and chooses her path.
38. Breaking the Curse – Lila sacrifices her freedom to save Ethan—but magic has its own rules.
39. A New Pact – The curse is rewritten: love becomes the key to freedom.
40. Looking Out – Lila and Ethan begin a new life together, no longer bound by mirrors or fate.
Until my Heart Gives in
Summary:
In the glittering chaos of a sleepless city, Lila, a clever and ambitious twenty-something with a sharp tongue and a temper to match, finds herself trapped between the ghosts of her past and the chains of her future. Once a manic pixie dream girl with stars in her eyes, Lila now stares into mirrors searching for the version of herself she lost—especially after her ex-best friend turned into the city’s reigning mean girl.
Her next-door neighbor, Ethan, is a brooding antihero with a tragic past and a motorcycle that roars louder than his emotions. He’s smart but prideful, lazy but magnetic. Beneath his gruff exterior lies a secret: Ethan isn’t entirely human. And Lila? She’s the only one who can see the truth.
When a fake dating scheme spirals into an arranged marriage—thanks to a meddling family and a supernatural pact—Lila and Ethan are forced into close quarters. Sparks fly, tempers flare, and their enemies-to-lovers arc unfolds with grumpy/sunshine tension and unspoken longing. But Lila’s heart still aches for someone who may never love her back, and Ethan’s haunted by a freedom he can’t claim.
A road trip across the city reveals more than just hidden feelings—it unearths a chilling twist: one of their quirky sidekicks has been dead all along, a ghost tethered to unfinished business. As secrets unravel and destinies collide, Lila must decide whether advancing the one she loves means sacrificing her own freedom.
In a world where love is tangled in lies, magic, and memory, UMHGI asks: what do you see when you finally stop staring into the mirror—and start looking out?
Short Summary:
Short Synopsis:
In a city that never sleeps, Lila—a clever, hot-tempered dreamer—finds herself entangled in a fake dating scheme with her brooding, motorcycle-riding neighbor Ethan, who harbors a supernatural secret. As their forced proximity turns into reluctant passion, old wounds resurface, and a road trip reveals a ghostly twist that changes everything. With enemies circling and love unrequited, Lila must choose between fighting for the one she loves and claiming her own freedom. Until my Heart Gives in is a spellbinding new adult romance where magic meets heartbreak, and mirrors reflect more than just the past.