君既至，望莫归

90s baby || i like to draw sometimes

[sabertoothwalrus]

it’s good for you to look at things that make you lightheartedly say “ew” while snickering like a little kid and then carry on. i say this genuinely. it will shift your knee-jerk reaction towards things that mildly disgust you away from fear

[fawnpalmer]

quarterly reminder that if i reblog something ai-generated it is 110% and always an accident and for the love of god please tell me so i can delete it from my blog

[nayuunii]

The conservative government of Alberta is now taking away 200 dollars from the disability pension from people like me who they think are “scammers” who are “fit to work” normal jobs.

As someone who had to drop out of school many years ago and could never finish despite my many attempts and had to be hospitalized for my disorders more than once, this is yet another way that conservatives are kicking down on the most vulnerable in society.

After all, there is no hate like Christian love.

Because of this, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop taking commissions, so… now I’m opening another slot. Because I have no choice.

If you can please hire me to draw for you, DM me. I’m sorry to even be asking.

[st-hedge]

Well happy pride month to this anon and the terrible pun

[writingdose]

“I want to write a fic about this but I don’t think anybody will be interested in it” ummm hello excuse me ma’am what do you mean you don’t think anybody will be interested in it??? YOU. YOU ARE INTERESTED IN IT???? write it because YOU are interested in it and YOU want to write about it. fanfic writing should always be first and foremost about YOUR enjoyment, not other people’s.

[kiilea]

[ reblogs/shares appreciated ]

HI HI !! since this year is presenting itself for me with less cons than usual, I decided to open commissions ❤️

majority of the info you can find here or on my carrd - link in bio ~ dm me if interested - here or email (below) ~

[email protected]

thank you!! <3

[arnaerr]

Be wary of INPRNT like looking scam. I've got an email from their support asking for some additional verification due to suspicious activity (???). Contacted the support that told me this email wasn't sent by INPRNT

[luxmoogle]

A personal history of Kingdom Hearts art

Since I've been riddled with nostalgia lately, I thought it might be interesting as well as entertaining to others, to see the gradual evolution of how my KH fanart has progressed through time and along with the series.

There had been various scribbles in notebooks before, but the real start of my fanart journey begins from a piece drawn in early September of 2007, still at the height of the craze following Kingdom Hears II, which I consider to be the first ever real fanart I'd drawn.

2015 - 2018

Here we have a noticeable gap in activity. For around three years I don't blog or publicly post about Kingdom Hearts and am fully occupied in other fandoms even though I still produce fanart for the series steadily. I just simply don't post it anywhere and it remains unseen. Around 2018 I get my first drawing tablet, and it inspires me to start a new sideblog here, on tumblr, called luxmoogle. And so, I start blogging and posting art into the fandom once again, digital enabling a faster pace of producing art.

From around 2022 onwards, I've become a fully digital artist when it comes to KH fanart, because of the ease of producing such art at a much faster pace compared to traditional art. The need to get all my thoughts and concepts out of my head has become a priority, even though I consider traditional and a more methodical way of making art to be more natural to me. The shift to digital has been very interesting and pleasantly challenging, since it requires a whole different approach and thinking than traditional, which I had to that point been doing my whole life. A pattern I only now recognize, is the latest phase, where I've obviously started looking at the piece more as a whole, and less of a character piece with a flattering background. It'll be interesting to see, where my hands and heart take me next.

[avyc02]

Flameo hotman~🔥

[ailee-art]

thinking about going through my late grandmother's old belongings and seeing things still wrapped up in packaging, unused out of fear of "wasting" it. it's not stuff that was worth a fortune, it wasn't an investment, just- what if it gets worn out? what if it loses it's shine? it's not the right time. it's too nice, and there's no occasion special enough for it.

i can relate, a lot of us can, but. your life is the special occasion. it's special now! it only exists now, and it will only be here for a while. don't be so precious with the little things.

those objects of hers sat in a box. untouched, barely looked at. for her grandchildren to figure out what to do with once she was gone. there's no sentimental value, really, it's just something she owned. i'll burn the candles for her. i wont keep a lot else. you know the things I have kept? the quilts she'd sewn with her own hands. the old stone pitcher she used for milk. it's plain, tan, cracked, and it holds dried flowers now. i love it, it's beautiful. your life is what gives objects meaning and value, not the other way around.

oh and don't even get me started on gifts lol they're usually already given on special occasions, but some people will still feel like it is not special enough, so they'll save it for a fantasy holiday that has "earned it" first, or store it away for a winter that will never come. an unintended consequence is it makes it feel rather unappreciated. gifts are given for you to enjoy! don't reject them by letting them go unused. that is the bigger waste, in the end. so use the fancy mug, and burn the nice candle, and draw in the cute notebook. there are dozens more like it, but these are for you to experience, and to leave your mark on. you don't have to put your favorite stickers on the first surface you see, but don't just "save" them forever. let them decorate your life, it's what they're for. your experience of them is more important then the objects themselves.

[arcane-gold]

HELP ME MOVE OUT OF FLORIDA!!

hey y’all, i’m getting OUT of here and here’s how you can help!!

after living in florida my entire life, i am making the enormous decision to move up to new york to 1. get out of florida (self explanatory) 2. be closer to my long distance partner and 3. have seasons. i have literally been working my ASS off for MONTHS to make sure it happens. here’s one way you can help me!!

i’ve also opened a ko-fi goal (begrudgingly) in case anyone just wanted to throw a tip or two my way <3 it would mean the world to me!! thanks y’all!! (i will be adding my own funds to the goal along the way!!)

etsy <3 ko-fi goal <3

[jupiem]

Fields of Mistria farmer commission and their love/ likes!

♡ Ko-fi ♡ BlueSky ♡ IG ♡ Twitter ♡

[prof-president]

as an aside it’s actually extremely tonally jarring for kaworu to say “my grace” and “i like you.” he comes off extremely cold and detached, and whatever whatever he’s supposed to be more angelic, but kaworu is supposed to be likable. he’s literally supposed to represent unconditional love and affection in one’s darkest hour????? he’s supposed to be charming, mysterious maybe but ultimately curious and endearing.

the deflection of focusing on his angelic nature or the work of evangelion as something “left to the audience’s perspective to decide” is a fucking horrible excuse because you’re literally skewing the work itself and making the scene so much less impactful emotionally. this is shinji’s lowest point. and he’s finally getting the love he never had. it fucking hurts because the audience feels that finally, finally shinji has someone before that’s ripped away. the purpose of kaworu and his scenes are to elicit a sense of relief, endearment, and then horror. the audience's emotions should NOT be something that they "decide” to have—it should be something involuntary that the audience then has to dissect!!!!

how can you fuck up soemthing this basic??? what because it’s gay oh god fucking forbid how can you even call yourself a translator if you’re not going to analyze your own personal biases rewrite your masters thesis and take a fucking walk

[ailee-art]

hey girl nice will to live, where'd you get it 👀

[prettycatsu]

A quick and beautiful aangsty commission from @addictedball 🩷 Thank you darling, can’t wait to get together again for more Zukaang!

[prof-president]

there’s this idea people float around abt how kaworu stagnates shinji. how he exists as a form of regression, of returning to being wanted without giving anything back, of being too coddled. it’s often used as an argument for why kawoshin being “healthy” isn’t necessarily true, or to claim that evangelion’s thesis is “receiving unconditional love will stagnate you in the oral stage and that’s bad so therefore you must work to earn love and affection”

i don’t think either of these statements are correct. for the first, i think it’s important to note that shinji does undergo a very significant character change with kaworu: he opens up and thinks about his feelings and thoughts honestly, to another person no less. it’s subtle, even insignificant, but it’s an incredible point of growth for someone who we’ve otherwise seen paralyzed at the mere concept of burdening others with his own existence. and here he’s opening up to someone he views as higher, better than him; someone he genuinely loves and respects.

kaworu does inspire change in shinji (as well as rei) but does so though his own blinding yet ever patient and gentle honesty. the rebuilds themselves focus even more heavily on this aspect of kaworu, where he teaches shinji piano and instills in him a desire to improve at this new skill and pulls shinji a little out of his depressive funk. he’s gentle, encouraging, but forward and confident enough to push shinji out of his comfort zone yet change at a pace he’s comfortable.

and kaworu is never 100% supportive of shinji’s actions either: he literally criticizes shinji’s hedgehog dilemma in the bath scene (though shinji seems to be too dumbstruck to know what’s going on). in any case the reason why kawoshin isn’t healthy is moreso because qworu needs to quit being shinjipilled and learn self-worth/self-preservation.

in terms of the second statement, evangelion does make the argument that in order to receive the love, affection, and attention we need to survive, we must change ourselves by putting our walls down and working to build those connections even at the cost of feeling pain.

but i think it’s a mistake to say “unconditional love causes stagnation.” what i think evangelion’s argument actually is is “shielding yourself from any pain causes stagnation.”

gendo is stagnant, lost in yui’s past and afraid of the pain he’ll receive from shinji. ritsuko is stagnant, afraid of not being enough for her mother/gendo. asuka stagnates, unable to process her trauma. shinji stagnates when he chooses options that he believes wont burden him with the judgement of others. unconditional love only stagnates a person if it’s used as escapism from pain

in fact, i think one of evangelion’s primary theses is that love—yes even unconditional love—is supremely important for existing because it drives us to improve ourselves by helping others, by proving ourselves to others.

when asuka realizes her mother is in eva02, she immediately comes alight and we see her at her most asuka, at her most powerful. rei defies gendo because she loves shinji. misato dies saving shinji because she loves him and kaji. hyuga hacks into seele because he loves misato, fuyutsuki socializes and grows to be a leader thanks to yui, maya becomes a better programmer because she wants to help ritsuko—love drives people to improve themselves

kaworu is the words “i love you” and perfection. he’s introspective, blindly honest, but kind, gentle, nurturing, and he inspires change and improvement. despite seele hoping he literally evolves humanity, kaworu evolves humanity by reveling in what makes us human and cherishing it.

[prof-president]

it makes sense then why kaworu’s death is the point of “regression” of shinji and, thus, metaphorically everyone else in evangelion. kaworu dies, and with him, so does love. without love, people have no reason to continue to change, so they prefer to stagnate. they prefer instrumentality

shinji literally in end of evangelion starts off by not once ever moving from the beach where he met kaworu, sweating in scorching heat, paralyzed by the past. stagnant. it won’t be long before everyone else regresses into their primordial forms before living as a whole, stagnant being.

eva analysts (evanalysts) typically state that kaworu’s death represents the need to not rely on unconditional affection because by relying on kaworu, shinji is “regressing” or “stagnating” akin to freud’s psychosexual development. thus, kaworu’s death is a necessary forced expulsion from the “womb,” an awakening into reality. additionally, kaworu is an angel —not human, not real—therefore his unconditional, selfless love cannot exist in reality because angels don’t exist.

i don’t think this makes sense because kaworu changes shinji and rei and because he’s intended to show that angels and humans aren’t different at all. ep25&26 literally argue that kaworu is just as human as anyone, angel or no. he is a person, and the love he represents is both miraculous and realistic.

in my opinion, kaworu’s death represents the death of love within humanity, and thus, the death of the desire to change. while rei is hope—what keeps people existing despite everything—kaworu is love—what drives people to change; to evolve.

i think my analysis isn’t necessarily what anno 100% intended as i think kaworu was always going to be the last angel and therefore die. it’s a requirement of the narrative. also because anno doesn’t want shinji to be happy/content (since that would mean that he’s “finished” with shinji’s character).

either way i don’t think kaworu’s death means that the only love that’s valid is a love you have to “work hard” for or whatever. that sentiment itself is wrong and i hate when evanalysts try to push for raw self-improvement as nge’s thesis.

kaworu’s death serves an important narrative purpose to question where the boundaries between humanity and deity lie, or if there’s even a boundary between them at all. for shinji, it shows just how far he’s willing to listen to others, let them tell him what to do, even as it goes against his own heart.

but unconditional love and affection—kaworu—never truly dies. kaworu and rei are forever in shinji’s heart, and they can never be removed from it. the love kaworu showed shinji and the hope rei inspired within him stick to him and are key for his rejection of instrumentality. kaworu’s death shows that even when you die—or when someone you love dies—they continue to exist as an inextricable part of you and they are what keeps you moving forward.

by loving shinji, kaworu has given him one of two core reasons shinji chooses to continue to exist. by dying, kaworu shows the audience how people can be so deeply haunted over the loss of love, but they can still choose to keep going and move forward in spite of that loss. because they want to feel that love again, they want to feel again.

TLDR; kaworu’s death—the death of love—leaves humanity stagnant. without love, we have nothing to live for, no reason to go on; thus, instrumentality. but love isn’t something sedentary: we can choose to keep connecting, searching, and living for love again.

[murcielagozz]

redraw , i already made this a month ago n i just realized all the mistakes lol. anyways i love them <2