Ailee

Book lover Ice cream expert Alcohol enthusiast 19, Australian ☮💟♊️

[depression-took-over-my-liife]

[shybombshell]

[to-be-far-away-deactivated20171]

I always wonder why I am this lonely but then I realize again that I couldn’t stand myself either.

(via to-be-far-away)

[endlesslifeinpain]

[unstablesuggestion]

i’ve run out of poetic ways to say i wish i was fucking dead

[aileeniara-blog]

4am insomnia

4:33 The television is taking turns in telling me that my skin needs six different make up products to make me beautiful. Because 4:34 I need to hide the birthmark on my neck and the unattractive discolouration under my eyes from staying up too late, getting 4:35 distracted by infomercials and lame comedy reruns I've seen a thousand times. But that's okay, for just $79.99 4:36 you'd never be able to tell that I'm battling an insomniacs war inside my head and twisting out of the grasp of suicidal thoughts every minute that passes. 4:37 And you'd never be able to tell, under the 6 different products that they're telling me to cover myself with, that under all of that my heart is racing and my stomach is full of bile. When was the last time I ate? I'm not sure, but I know I haven't slept in 3 days and there is nothing but coffee and Redbull in my blood 4:38 Stream. Oh, look. Now they're trying to make me hungry, and it's fucking working. Damn that burger looks good. And if you buy one, they'll give you survey to do so you can tell them how great they are and they'll give you more food! How fucking generous. 4:39 4:40 4:41 4:42 The mornings are quiet sometimes. 4:43 The sun isn't quite up but I can almost feel the world stirring, gently rising for the day. Just as I should 4:44 Be doing but instead, when sunlight kisses the earth on this side of the earth, I'll be falling into slumber. 4:45 The rambling thoughts of an insomniac.

[aileeniara-blog]

Nice

You know what sucks? Being nice. Because people misunderstand this to be weakness. They think you're a push over, or they think you're fragile. Or they think you want something because you're nice. You know what's even worse? Having your niceness taken advantage of. Having people take and take and take, knowing you're not going to do a damn thing about it. I can handle people mistaking my niceness for weakness, it's easy to put them back in their place and teach them a lesson or two. That's easy. But saying no, that's hard. Knowing when to stop giving, that is hard. Knowing who will never give back but will always take, that's hard. Because being nice, you always want to see the best in people. You always want to believe the best, and you never realise that not everyone has the same heart that you do. That rude awakening is fucking hard to come to terms with. A wise person once said that givers need to seek limits because takers rarely do. No truer words have ever been spoken.

[hellishsuggestion]

I want someone to see how scary I really am. I want everyone to know how much I’m holding back

[thegoodvybe]

[aileeniara-blog]

[cervicks-deactivated20141013]

not killing myself is a personal achievement but you cant really brag about that at dinner parties

[aileeniara-blog]

A thought about a boy

No other time in a girls life flies faster than when she's sitting on her couch at one in the morning, thinking about a boy who occupies the secret space between like and love. Suddenly, between bad tv reruns and infomercials, it's 2am. Then 3am and out of nowhere the sun appears and she has achieved nothing except itchy eyes and a battle between her head and her heart.

[aileeniara-blog]

You don't always have to be who they want you to be you know.

10 Things I Hate About You