not pro anything

T, 16 - SW: 130lbs CW: 117lbs GW: 100lbs (UGW: 80lbs)

[idontknowifiamdyingorliving]

[aim-for-perfect]

tw - there isn’t a happy ending

i’m done. there isn’t anything left to be trying for. i grew up with a parent i didn’t even know was abusive, and escaped into a relationship where i’ve been cheated on, convinced it was my fault and finally, yesterday, hurt and yelled at in public. i attract abuse in everything i do. this isn’t going to get better, there is no happy ending.

recently my second therapist this year told me she does not know how to help me. probably the fourth or fifth to say that. mental health services, at least in the uk, don’t know how to help you unless you already know how to help yourself, they can only support you in doing it. and i don’t know. i’ve run out of ideas. i’m still a child, a carer for a violent partner with bpd while suffering with it myself.

nobody has ever helped me, and nobody will. 9 years of cutting my wrists and never hiding it has taught me enough about humanity. nobody will help you. so either help yourself, or do what i’m doing.

this will be the 9th or 10th time i’ve tried at least, but this time i know how. it’s been trial and error but i’ve been close enough to know where i went wrong. thank you to anyone here who’s tried to help me, but i’m a lost cause. goodbye.

[aim-for-perfect]

.

[blueberryborderline]

tbh the worst thing about being a self aware mentally ill person is that people assume that because you understand your illness you’re automatically able to actually apply your knowledge to your life and cure yourself

[winterlolita]

[skinnyshh]

Imagine

You walk infront of your mirror in your underwear solely. The first thing you see is your waist, God has your waist shrunk, all the better to accommodate those few ribs you see standing out gently, growing more prominent as as you breathe, trailing your fingers along them - it’s unreal, not only unreal that you can actually feel your ribs so prominently so that your fingers actually sink into the crevices of skin between them individually but also the fact that you can see them so clearly - you’ve never felt so … dainty.

Those hip bones are to die for (literally), the way they cause your smooth, flat stomach to concave in their midst is enchanting. Their presence is delicately bold, leading the path to your tiny thighs which you can easily envolpe your slender fingers around.

The defined, high cheekbones, the sharp collarbones that jut out, making a regal pathway for your small and beautiful neck. Head to toe, you are thin.

You’re body is beautiful.

[staedtlers-and-stabilos]

There are three rules.

1. If you do not go after what you want, you will never have it. 

2. If you do not ask, the answer will always be no. 

3. If you do not step forward, you will remain in the same place. 

[thinnfaerie]

When I’m forced to eat with the family:

[mybodygoalzzz-blog]

[i-cant-love-us-deactivated20190]

[gecesintisi-deactivated20180611]

ge

[mythinland]

.

[small-sad-gal]

bulimia is not fucking funny. shut the fuck up. the girl who wants to vomit her guts out is not a punch line. you’ve all thrown up. you know how terrible it is. do you know what it’s like to WANT to do that to yourself? do you know what it’s like to eat anything and then wish you could destroy yourself just to get it out. no. it’s not funny. I’m not your punch line. leave me out of your jokes ~ Love, the bullied bulimic.

[writingweights]

~ Imagine ~

It’s late winter and everyone is piling on the layers, including yourself. The difference from last year is that all those layers make you appear cozy and not borderline obese. You’re walking to a cafe with your friends and as one of them pushes open the doors, it suddenly gets very hot. With a few laughs, everyone begins to remove their coats and scarfs. You do so too, revealing a neckless sweater that shows off your sculped collarbones perfectly. Your thin arms and wrists delicately move to remove your hat and reveal a mess of long hair kept in a sturdy braid. 

You give your friends a perfect smile, which is only accentuated by your sharp jawline and popping cheekbones, and order some coffee with them. After you began losing the weight, you noticed other people approaching you more. Not only that, you responded to their friendliness more often. Ever since you’ve hit your ultimate goal weight, your small body hasn’t repelled anyone away. In fact, it seemed to be drawing in more and more friendly faces. You’ve even begun to notice your crush giving you more than a few glances in the past week. 

You sit down and begin to drink your coffee with your friends, your fragile hands wrapped around the mug nibbly. You laugh with your friends, having an overall great time. As you get ready to leave you realize that your sweater was too short for you and showed your stomach whenever you lose your hands. But that was fine, you had nothing to be ashamed of now. 

Do you still want to eat that? 

[darkforestgreen]

HI GUYS AND IM BACK WITH ANOTHER RECIPE AND YOU GUYS ARE GONNA LOVE ME FOR THIS ONE.

EASY. AND FAST. TO MAKE. 100. CALORIE. PIZZA.

YES YOU HEARD ME RIGHT. I SEARCHED THE DEPTHS OF PINTEREST FOR A GOOD RECIPE. BUT I COULDN’T FIND ANY. SO I COMBINED SOME THINGS FROM EACH RECIPE TO MAKE MY OWN. I DO THIS ONLY FOR YOU MY FELLOW ANAS. HERE WE GO:

Homemade marinara sauce:

- ½ tomato

- dash of olive oil

- dash of balsamic vinegarette

- pinch of garlic powder

- pinch of salt and pepper

Instructions:

- add everything in blender

- blend until smooth

(20 calories)

For the actual pizza:

- tortilla (trust me guys)

- homemade sauce

- ¼ cup mozzarella cheese

(100 calories)

Extra for the pizza:

- pepperoni (70 calories for 7 slices)

- any other vegetables or other things you want to add (remember to track the calories you add)

Instructions:

- put sauce on tortilla

- add cheese

- add any extra ingredients you want

- bake at 350 degrees F for 8-10 minutes

- enjoy!

It’s so good and it’s so low calorie, IM SO GLAD I CAME UP WITH THIS RECIPE!!! You just have one of my blueberry muffins for breakfast, some fruit for lunch, and this for dinner, you’ve barely gone over 200 calories!!!

Hope you enjoy this guys! Send me asks of what types of recipes you’d like to see and I’ll make more posts like this! Love you guys stay safe 🖤🍬

[tinylittlething]

y’all ever see numbers on normal things but can’t help think to yourself either “damn that’s a lot of calories” or “ooh a safe food”

like bitch that’s a math equation what are you d o i n g

[faeswim-blog]

[inanimate-dolls]

More here 🍑

[beforeimskinny-deactivated20180]

it’s a problem because we get congratulated on losing weight.

it’s a problem because we get called strong when we decline food.

it’s a problem because we’re “fit” when they see our hipbones.

it’s a problem because everyone knows that skinny is perfect.

[dr0w-z2]

little things i’ve noticed about myself since losing 28+lbs

✨i have a waistline now

✨my fat proportion has stayed the same but there’s just overall less of it

✨my back fat doesn’t spill out of my bra straps

✨my arms go straight down instead of resting on my fat and flaring outwards

✨my posture looks better

✨i enjoy running more

✨i can sit with my legs crossed effortlessly

✨my double chin? gone !l

✨my butt looks bigger

✨less rolls

✨i feel pretty

✨i’m more confident

✨i’m happier

✨seeing myself naked doesn’t make me want to rip my skin off

✨i don’t hate myself as much for eating

✨my face lights up when i smile instead of getting fat and showing my double chin

✨my clothes fit me comfortably and my fat doesn’t spill over the edges of my trousers

✨when i sit my thighs don’t flatten as much

✨being able to see my bone structure is satisfying, i can see now that i have more of a pear shaped body than a triangle because my back fat made me look so top-heavy

weight loss is SO amazing and is a journey of self-discovery. be patient and kind to yourself and soon enough you’ll get to where you want to be x