Sometimes all the history comes back into my mind.
All the promises all the different heartbreaks (yours, hers and mine).
And I know everything happens for a reason.
But I canât help but just sometimes wish
I wish that we never crossed paths
Wish that I never met you
Wish that I never met her
I know back then maybe you loved me
But at the end of the day everything was going to crash anyway
Because no one would ever measure up to
The feelings that you get when youâre with her
And thatâs how it will always be
You can find someone new but at the end of the day
She will always be in your heart mind and soul
You can tell me itâs not true
But then are you lying to me or to you?
Because you donât want to face your own truth
Knowing that this lifetime you wonât have the ONE.
So yeah call me hateful but I never wanted any of this
And wish we never went through any of it.
All of it sucked, EVERYTHING
But I had so much love for you I really did, unconditionally
Thatâs not something youâll ever know or realize
Because I was never nor will ever be the ONE
for you, and if it does end up being me and you
How unfair to only be there
because you couldnât win 1st place
So you had to accept 2nd or 3rd
Do you not see how unfair it is, to be with someone just to be with someone, when that someone could meet the ONE for them that cares provides and has such profound, endless, unconditional love for them, the same way you had for her, or I had for you?.
Someone who just gets them and understands, even if words arenât being said.
(A man moves mountains for the person that they truly love, does anything and everything to be with the one they love unconditionally right? Or am I wrong?)
Then Iâm not your ONE those things are true
Because Iâve known people who have made life changing decisions to be with the one they love.
So if you are in-love with me, wouldnât you move mountains too? Wouldnât you want nothing more than my happiness?
(Because thatâs what Iâve always wanted for you, even if it was with HER or someone other than her, aslong as you where happy and safe just doing okay)
And if you arenât in love, then why keep me, why not let me go?
What do I give you that is enough to keep me around but not enough to love me in all aspects, through all the ups and downs, through the depths of darkness, and still be able to say I want you and only you because there is no other like you.
Have you ever even tried to put yourself in my shoes the way I do with you?
What do I give you thatâs just enough to keep me around
(Fuck me, sleep with me, go out with me, provide sometimes)
But not enough to say I want you forever and always
( even saying I love you throughout the days, or take me out on dates, give me at-least 1 flower)
So what is it about me that you decide to keep me, but not want to truly be with me?
Because Iâm done trying to figure shit out.
So if you want to tell me one day, and give me some clarity give us some clarity
But if you donât want to tell me anything
Then Iâll just leave it to hereâŠ
And hope that youâre not too late
Because I really did love you maybe was even in love.
But I was only 50% enough.
So if Iâm not 100% for you