I understand the inclination for LGBT people to automatically react with the opinion âcishet asexuals are straightâ, to call cishet aces âstraight acesâ, to say âstraight aces arenât queer and they donât belongâ, but if this is what you think, there is something very important youâre missing here.
If you say âthe A stands for asexualâ but then say âcishet aces donât belong in the queer communityâ, then you donât really believe that the A stands for asexual.Â
Youâre saying that asexuality only counts if the person is homo-, bi-, or pan-romantic or if theyâre trans, youâre saying that âjustâ being asexual isnât enough to be included, which is offensive to asexuals of all romantic orientations. Youâre classifying asexuality as a substandard sexual orientation by overwriting it with romantic orientation, as though being ace means that my sexual orientation is an empty gap. Itâs not.
You canât say âthe A stands for asexualâ and then turn around and say âthe LGBT community needs to be protected from straight people who donât experience sexual attractionâ. (Literally a post I have seen.) Those people are asexual, and asexuals are not straight. They are not heterosexual. And besides, what the fuck are you afraid of? That cishet aces are going to cuddle you to death? Talk your ear off about dragons? Make you fat with too much cake? Asexuals are not a threat to you; they are your ally.Â
I get that the odds are high that I, a cishet ace, will never face the same oppression as someone who is gay or trans. I get that I can âhideâ my orientation and that if I were to have a hetero partner I would not need to feel nervous about going in public with them. I get that I will probably never be called âqueerâ as a slur. But the LGBTQIA community is not the Oppression Olympics. It is a place for people who are not cis heteroromantic heterosexual to feel safe and included.Â
You, an allosexual, do not get to tell me that I am straight, or that living as an asexual in a hypersexual culture is a privilege. You donât get to tell me that itâs a privilege to feel like thereâs something wrong with me, to be afraid that no one will want me or love me as I am, to fear sexual pressure, to fear that any relationship I have will fall apart if I canât meet the needs of my partner, to keep my identity hidden because I know that anyone I tell will think Iâm stupid or a freak. Please donât try to tell me those are privileges.
Asexuals donât want to take anything from you. They just want to feel safe and feel like they belong.
tangentwithtanner
dailybridgerton
gummygunk
prguitarman
