princess @aintgoingbackwards - Tumblr Blog

its like I always have this dark cloud with me, ready to burst out rain. a very dark cloud weighing tons of kilos. all the time

orchidboy

bashing my head into a wall monday

sometimes, often, i feel like im an imposter in this world, a very mentally ill person playing house in this world. masking, pretending. waiting for the inevitable moment my cover blows up or i blow up. every breat i take is on manual, always a struggle. every second i feel the heaviness of my soul. every day i get crushed under all the intense emotions, i have no control over. I don’t have control, all i can do is just hope. but hope is limited and constantly challenged by this anxitey. this anxiety, the size of a planet, mostly outweighs hope. Outweighs everything, reality, facts, belief. constantly in survival mode, constantly imagining something bad happening, constantly living through that imagination. sometimes i think i am one.

I belong in a psychiatry. a closed, safe environment. something I was always lacking. I needed stability, feeling safe, controlled stimuli. I never had that. not even in my mother’s womb. and then the clown show that is my life started.

the beginning of my end, moving to Germany.

I never belonged to this world, especially this big advanced country called Germany. I always wonder how things would have been if I had stayed in my environment. nobody can know whether it would have been or worse. but I know. I know.

humblelovesblog-deactivated2024

I was really hoping i'd die in my sleep

paper-mario-wiki

if u ever find a genie and you’re really craving a dessert that looks like this:

do NOT say “i’d like a lifetime supply of raspberry crowns”

while this is, in fact, the name of the pastry, it’s ALSO the name of a species of wasp for some reason. the genie, being a nasty trickster, will no doubt give you a bunch of wasps.