Degenerate Ramblings and Unhinged Fics

This is where I post links and updates to my Ao3 Mercer and Brynjolf fanfiction. archiveofourown.org/users/airilizard/works - Dead dove; do not eat.

[airilizard]

A Mercer Frey/OC fanfiction.

Chapters: 4/4 Fandom: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Rating: As high as it can go. You’ve been warned, my loves. Summary:

All she wanted to do in that moment was to run back to the Cistern, pack her stuff, and get on the first carriage out of Riften. She didn’t care at this point if she never saw Brynjolf again, or if she was abandoning any possibility of a lucrative career in thieving. She'd have a better chance of surviving the frigid streets of Windhelm, or starving inside the warrens of Markarth, than she currently had under the domination of this man.

[plaguedocboi]

I feel like starfish are one of those animals that are treated as very “normal” by people but absolutely shouldn’t be. Like they’re a wheel of repeating heads connected by a central stomach. They walk around using thousands of tiny sticky hydraulically powered tentacles. They have an eye on the end of each arm. Instead of having a mouth they just have an opening where their entire stomach can be pushed out to engulf prey. And they’re just allowed to exist like this. It’s not illegal or anything.

[airilizard]

If I ever write the horror novel that's been spinning around in my brain, there's going to be some sort of starfish inspired creature in it.

[skyrim-forever]

This is on the Dragonborn's fridge

[airilizard]

To all my Tumblr mutuals or to anyone who reads my blog or fics,

I'm opinionated as all get out, and you'll never need to guess where I stand on issues. But if you disagree with me, think I'm wrong, or have criticism towards my writing, perspective, whatever, I want to hear it. I will not judge you. I won't take it out on you. At the most, I'll let you know I'm feeling hurt and that it isn't on you, it's an issue I'm working through.

And I want to hear your side. All of you. At the end of the day, there's SO MUCH I don't know or understand and want to learn about. Especially from the people in different cultural, racial, ethnic, and gender backgrounds than me.

I don't think we can ever really grow as artists or as people unless we can accept that other people have things we can learn from. And I'm here to learn from you as much as to connect and have fun and make friends.

I love you all, you sweet, talented, people ❤️

[airilizard]

I've started writing Ch 41 of Daggers, and it's the first Mercer POV chapter that appears in the narrative.

I'm losing my fucking mind rn. This man's thoughts, motives, and mind are like, nine hells of Oblivion f$#&ed up. Whyyyy are you like this, Mercer. Why. Who hurt you?!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/66341554/chapters/171057427

[theunfortunate-author]

[airilizard]

I don't even use AI to proofread, so rest assured that instances of me writing things like "sheep" when I meant "sleep" are 100% my own human-made garbage.

[nondelphic]

writing is 10% storytelling and 90% rearranging three sentences for an hour like you're trying to solve an ancient curse

[helloskitty99]

I bet playing cards in The Ragged Flagon is both very fun and very agonizing for the same exact reason. Everybody cheats at cards

[airilizard]

Okay please don't spoil anything for me because I'm only like halfway through Wuthering Heights but girls please. Please tell me.

Is this a goddamn toxic male obsessive/dark romance novel? From 1847?

Like, is this actually what I'm reading right now? Why didn't I get assigned THIS classic in high school? 😭 This author was revolutionary and wild. And did she publish under a man's name to convince people to buy her book and take her seriously or something? Because the words speak for themselves.

[depressouce]

me to hits : meh

me to kudos : meh

me to comments : 🥺

[airilizard]

[airilizard]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/66341554/chapters/235181506

Chapter 40 of Daggers Ablaze is live! Have fun and stay safe, my loves, because my female OC certainly isn't.

[nautical-twilight]

Assigning Nocturnal as the Moon in this tarot deck is a rather intriguing and somewhat amusing choice. She feels more like the embodiment of the darkness inherent in each phase of the lunar cycle rather than its brightness. Though I do like the image of a very ticked off Azura chasing Nocturnal about the Daedric realms yelling for the Empress of Murk to give her moon back.

[airilizard]

And Azura following it up by "And give my damn key back while you're at it, you little thief!"

(Khajiiti folklore tells that Azurah had her key stolen by Noctra.)

(Azurah spared Noctra's life on the condition that Noctra serve her and the ja-Kha'jay (the Lunar Lattice). However, Noctra betrayed this pact when the opportunity arose, stole the Skeleton Key from Azurah, and fled into the void.)

[airilizard]

My laptop desktop

It's a humble, simple setup, but it's mine. Fanfic docs cut off to avoid spoilers. I write each chapter's drafts in a separate document and write them out of order, then put them together in the Master document after uploading to Ao3.

This is my little corner of heaven in the living room/ my workspace where I write every morning, play Skyrim, and do everything else. Yes, I don't have a desktop at all. Yes, I've used this laptop for over 8 years now for all my gaming and work. And no, there's no privacy. Why do you think I write at 5 a.m. and when everyone else is in bed? XD

If you want, post your workspace, too! I love seeing these.

[nautical-twilight]

Haven’t bought tarot in ages, but I love all things Skyrim and the art work is just stunning. Was intrigued, especially after @peacefulcat post, about the descriptions, so thought I’d share.

[peacefulcat]

Woah, these depictions are so fitting, and the reversed meanings are particularly intriguing.

Especially Brynjolf's. In game his character arc really screamed stagnation, fear of responsibility and personal growth. Probably this fear is the reason he refused from becoming the next Guildmaster. It's a shame that he, unfortunately, stayed the same at the end of the story, the man can do so much more. It's kinda interesting that one of the most charismatic and nonchalant characters in game is afraid of leaving his comfort zone.

(Upd: oh, and are these smallpox scars I see on Bryn's face? My headcanon turned out to be canon? What???)

And Vex being paranoid of everyone close to her? My-my-my

[rhibbet]

top tier character trait will always be “I care about you deeply, even though I betrayed you. even though I would do it again” I don’t make the rules

[airilizard]

I don't think I'll ever understand the pricks who pressure or shame women into having children.

People bring up the actual parenting experience and how challenging it is, but everything that comes before is, in some ways, even worse for many women. Too many people don't understand how hard it can be.

While I personally have no regrets about having kids and would give birth all over again for them, would climb a literal mountain and walk across glass for them, I won't sugarcoat it.

Pregnancy is nauseating and painful a lot of the time, giving birth is akin to torture (experiencing it twice without an epidural, while completely unintentional, helped with writing a character experiencing extreme pain, at least), and the newborn baby phase shifts your brain and hormones more than you'd ever experience in any other natural situation. With the sleep deprivation and pain you're in while needing to take care of your baby all day and night, it sometimes feels like a fresh form of hell before life finally gets easier as they grow bigger and sleep more at night.

A woman in today's modern society is never more at risk of all-cause mortality than during pregnancy and birth.

Like, who would ever pressure anyone into this experience knowing how challenging and life-altering it is? If anyone tried to shame or pressure you into having kids at any point, know that a happily married mother said that they can fuck right the fuck off.

Have them only if you're sure, and only if you'll have support to be the best person you can be for them while staying healthy yourself. I waited until my late 20s, and it was the best decision I made.

And now, I have an IUD in, because I live somewhere that has taken my rights away the second pregnancy ever happens again.

(I'm in Texas, where abortion is almost completely banned at all stages of pregnancy. The only legal exception is if a licensed physician determines the procedure is necessary to save the pregnant person’s life or prevent substantial impairment of a major bodily function. There are no exceptions for r#@& or inc$#@.)