frickin LOVE those things @airplanecookies - Tumblr Blog

I bring a kind of "would eat a stillborn baby for $20" vibe to the function and chicks dig me.

#my moral compass has deteriorated severely.#shitpost #mmmm cannibalism

Crustache

#crustache #crustacean #mustache #doug #shitpost #shitty doodles

Okay I'm not saying we should all be socialists but capitalism was literally first made up by an antichrist. Yes this is in scripture. No I'm not kidding.

#it's all “obey the scriptures” until the scriptures tell you to #stop being an evil little bitch #anti capitalism #fuck capitalism #antichrist

Walking Dead fanfic except there's no part of the show/comic/game shown. Everything is through the perspective of a space station crew watching the world fall apart with limited contact. Until the radios go dead.

#the walking dead #fanfic ideas #fanfic inspo #ao3 #please somebody write this

I baked a beautiful loaf of bread AND came out to my mom (accidentally ig) earlier and the fact that I don't know which was better speaks volumes about a) how terrible of a cook I usually am and b) how amazing my mother is

#bread #i bake #coming out #lgbtqia #pride month #closet? we don't know her

Me: *listens to heavy metal*

Spotify: PLEASE STOP VAPING UR KILLING URSELF PLEASE PLEASE YOU CAN GET HELP PLEASE

Me: *listens to gospel music*

Spotify: would u like to join this church? 🥺 donate to this children's hospital they're dying and u can save them 🥺 also buy a Ford

#shitpost #spotify #advertising #just leave me alone #i don't vape btw.#spotify is just a poor judge of character

Me waiting for my ice to melt

#shitty doodles #shitpost #short comic #doug #bad news: our well died #good news: prime opportunity for Dougposting #bad news: no running water for several days #good news: i dont have to be anywhere for several days #bad news: i have to buy water from the store #good news: im rich

Its gotta get old.

#well well well #shitty doodles #short comic #shitpost #doug

bold of you to assume I have bones

*rolls away like the sack of loose flapping skin that I am*

#bones?#who needs bones?#i am perfect #i need no bones #shitpost #i love bones

Unfortunately it can't be the main course but I can give you worldbuilding with a side of story.

#worldbuilding #writing #oh the horror #its like “hey I know how to build a bridge”#“but where the heck is the river”

"Media literacy"

#politics #short comic #shitty doodles #doug #this is about fox news

I don't use q-tips but I imagine it's the same feeling as standing up after having sat a very long time and listening to all your bones crunch DELICIOUSLY

#shitpost #q tip #bones crackalackin like airplane cookies in my facehole

No no, officer, you misunderstand--the $200 is for this antique first edition copy of Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings's The Yearling signed by library patrons during World War 2. The sex is unrelated.

#the joke is that there's a prostitute

A brief recreation of my neighbor's porch.

#shitty doodles #cats #way too many #i'm afraid kangaroo court has occurred here #tabby cat #all of them #there were more on his driveway #like 10 more #so many cats #so many questions

I'm a comedic genius

#yeah dave wth #shitty doodles #short comic #knight in shining armor #knights #stabby stabby 🔪⚔️

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frickin LOVE those things