about me: she/her, adult (20s), currently a master's student, eng | ita | ro.
content: death note, writing, my fics and OCs (mine or others)
└ oc index [ barely used these days / possibly outdated. if you want to know more about my ocs, refer to fic specific tags ]
oh, yeah. also Lawzawa (L x Aizawa).
└📄 My Lawzawa Posts [ my old tumblr posts about them all combined in one place, meta ]
multishipper anyway, so anything goes.
relevant tags:
└ di's meta [ meta posts mainly about death note. barely using it these days ]
└ untagged [ meta posts that i don't want in the main tag but still relevant. absolutely okay to reblog! ]
└ di's writing [ general writing talk; fic specific tags can be found below ]
└ di's edits [ either video or image edits ]
└ di's reading [ could be live blogging or just opinions. the book and the author are tagged as well ]
FICS UNDER THE CUT [ dordecasa ]
[📝 - ongoing | 📄 - completed | ⚠️ - hiatus ]
📂 — L / or & OCs
└📄 D for Detective [ L/OC, OC-centric, character-driven, canon divergence, first person, present tense ] ( 200,244 words, 31 chapters )#d for detective #d for detective fanart
SUMMARY:
“I don't want this to end, L...”
[...]
I knew from the beginning that this day would come. I have lived our acquaintance with a clock hanging over my head, but since it was out of sight, it was also out of mind. It made its presence felt, like a kind of guillotine on the verge of making its final blow, in moments of utter lack of contact, but it returned to being blurry when I was reunited with him.
Not anymore. Its cold, sharp blade pokes at my skin, and I know I could ask the Executioner to give me more time, I would be able to convince him, but he would have to put his head between mine and the blade and... It's not worth it. I cannot condemn him for what, in its essence, is just a childhood dream of mine. I should stop being guided by it, because it has already led me to the gallows. I cannot allow it to do any more harm.
— Chapter 9: "Kantsubaki Nerikiri"
⸻
While FBI agent Jessica Parker had by now resigned herself to the idea that her plan would proceed as planned, D. D. waited impatiently for that phone call that would pull her out from her grave for one last desperate honeymoon in the company of her favourite stranger.
└⚠️ Mazzaroth - The Only Thing I Have Left Of You [ L & OCs, Wammy's House, OC-centric, first person, past tense, half diary format, long fic ] #mazzaroth
SUMMARY:
PART ONE OF THREE: YEARS 1988 - 1991
L said that if he were to encounter lying monsters, he would likely be eaten by them, and I suppose I was starving when I first met him.
MAZZAROTH SERIES:
You realise the impact of something's presence in your life only when it's gone. As you relive those memories that you can't change, you find yourself at a crossroad: either leave them in the past or use them as a fuel to destroy the cause of why things ended up in some way.
📂 — x READER
└📄 I'll hold on to this feeling until the grass stains on those old shoes are completely gone. [ Near x GN!Reader, Near is L ] ( 30,239 words, 4 chapters )
SUMMARY:
You decide to confess your feelings to Near.
└📄 It was like looking in a mirror, but the reflection staring back wasn't his. [ L & GN!Reader, To-Oh University, Reader is an ostracised/foreign student ] ( 5,356 words, 1 chapter )
SUMMARY:
L notices you.
📂 — GEN FIC
└📄 Watari's last assignment [ AU in which Rem kills only L ] ( 1,986 words, 1 chapter )
SUMMARY:
"Apparently, there are things your brilliant mind cannot protect you from, Mister Yagami."
└📄 Turned Towards The Tower [ connection between A's sucide and Anime!L's last moments ] ( 1,619 words, 1 chapter )
SUMMARY:
"It's been ringing incessantly all day. I find it… Very distracting. I can't stop thinking about it. I wonder if it's a church – maybe a wedding, or perhaps a—"
└📄 always one foot in, one foot out – what would it take you to close the door and come inside? [ holiday fic, implied matsulawzawa, just L's presence being celebrated really, canon divergence to make it possible ] ( 5,194 words, 1 chapter )
SUMMARY:
L was not afraid of death.
It was a natural aspect for any living being and, in a job like his, it was also something he implicitly sought desperately, since going against the most dangerous criminals in history could only lead to one desire on their part: to take him down. He had spent so many years in that position, hovering between victory and death, that he could hardly be alarmed if the scales tipped against him – especially in a case like that, where Kira could kill him without even touching him, always lurking to strike when he least expected it.
He even got used to the fact that no one would remember him, apart from Watari and Roger, because his position would be filled without anyone noticing. Therefore, he lived with one foot out the door and one foot in the lives of everyone he made the acquaintance of, because it was natural for him to think that he, as a human being, was not worth as much as the figure he represented. However, having got used to it did not mean he had accepted it and, no matter how much he lied that this was the case, that 25th December 2004 had made it more than clear what the truth was: he did not want to be a stranger.
└📄 Epistulae ( 3,046 words, 2 chapters )
SUMMARY:
Mello writes a letter, that does not reach Near.
Near writes a letter, that cannot reach Mello.
Shuichi didn't want to be here, but he feels some kind of duty to the chief, still; he stays silent, polite, he eyes the swollenness of her eyes and remembers Light Yagami choking out her name and thinks, You killed Ukita. You killed him on live television and I couldn't even go after him.
Amane's shoulders shake as she wipes her hand roughly over her face. Shuichi has tried and tried and still cannot see a murderer in her frame. Some kind of investigator he is. Some kind of friend. Kira is dead and Shuichi has failed everyone he's ever cared about but he gets to live, somehow; everyone in this room gets to live.
It's not fair. It's not fair.
But he's too old to be having his stupid temper tantrums. He looks away from Amane. The incense drowns them both.
also now that I think about it. I reached the opposite end in my fics, where there's no sex to consent to and most deaths and torture sessions are consensual. oh sorry. sacrifices and training sessions because death and torture have negative and coercive connotations. they chose this.
it's actually fascinating to me how people worry so much about characters consenting to sex but don't give a second thought to characters consenting to like, violence and mental illness and being literally killed and the Horrors Writ Large. surely they wouldn't want those things to happen to them either? like there's something that trips in people's brains when it comes to sexual consent. i don't know why this happens but it's genuinely interesting on an intellectual level.
First: the case took place from 31 July to 22 August 2002. Mello should be 12 years old during it, turning 13 years old at the end of that same year.
What Mello has to say about B and Wammy’s House:
During B’s time there, the successor programme was in its experimental stage.
(It’s presumed that) Mello never saw B.
In the English translation, Misora refers to B as a “man” and not a teenager/young man, which he should be.
B’s generation is the first, while Mello's is the fourth.
L is told in May of that year that B ran away.
Starting with the last point: if B “ran away” from Wammy’s House, it should mean that he was not legally allowed to do so, so a minor. Let’s therefore assume that he was 17 (or about to turn 18). So, he was born in 1984/85.
Just 4/5 years older than Mello, so how did they not meet? Mello was at Wammy’s House until he was 15 (2004). How did he never see him once?
Did B live far away from the others?
Or did Mello arrive after B ran away? Because it doesn’t make much sense, since it’s implied that he has been there for a while, long enough to fail time and time again and grow a lot of resentment towards Near, to show himself as exceptional to the point of being a L’s alternative (the nasty look interpretation came out after LABB), to try to be like him, and get then to meet him before the Kira case.
A lot of stuff. A year and a half doesn’t seem enough to me.
Also, it’s never mentioned when Near arrived, so maybe he wasn’t told about the case, because he knew B, or maybe he came after Mello, which gives Mello less time to build this implied to be years old rivalry.
And I am being generous, because it’s never actually stated when exactly this meeting happened. I am just taking Nov. 27, 2003, as the last possible moment, but if it’s before this, then Mello not being the first makes no sense, like he caught L’s eye so fast that he was willing to show himself to him? Insane. Or maybe it was a consolation price disguised as favouritism. Who knows.
Plus, if Mello and Near are from the fourth generation and there is a 2-year gap between them, then how do the other generations work exactly? Because if you apply the same rule, like, 1984-1986, 1987-1989, 1990-1992 or even 1985-1987, 1988-1990, 1991-1993 or 1983-1985, 1986-1988, 1989-1991, either Mello and Near are not in the same generation or not in the fourth. You have to freeball it to have B’s generation being the first one and Mello and Near both in the fourth. Maybe they didn’t have enough people after, so they grouped them to reach a certain number, but there’s no explanation given.
But still, why did Mello never see B? And why does Misora consider B an adult?
The only way for this to all make sense is for B to be older than L and for A’s suicide to be the reason why L left Wammy’s at 13, as he was taken in at 8 and stayed 5 years in England.
Of course, B running away from Wammy’s House as a minor in May 2002 and A dying the same year don’t make much sense in this new context. Everything happened way before.
If you want to keep the LABB timeline, you could say they were still working closely with the Wammy’s as a whole, but not with the kids specifically, so only Roger and Watari knew about them. And A killed himself because he realised he couldn’t measure up to Mello and Near, who were there and monitored by them. I don’t know, I usually ignore this whole timeline of events because of how little it makes sense with what we know about Mello and Near from the manga.
But if B and A are older than L:
B has a way of knowing what he looks like and how he behaves (if he only sees him once fleetingly, he cannot imitate him).
Mello has no way of meeting and knowing them.
B’s generation can be placed wherever, and have Mello’s be the fourth.
To me, they are older than L by three to four years, so both can be almost 18 in 1993 and keep the tragedy of a 17-year-old killing himself due to the pressure of being L’s first successor and almost an adult, so about to leave his humble, sheltering abode.
Besides, if B is between 23 (1979) to 26 (1976) in 2002, it explains why Misora almost always refers to him as “man” (only once as “young man”), while to the actual L as mainly “young man”. But this is translation territory and rather shaky.
thinking more about it and technically, there are at least five people that have been or have still to be headshotted after chapter 17. it's pretty repetitive, i have to switch things up a bit next time
