forever biting things about near btw. What if you were 13 and got told the man whose identity you had to replace was already dead. what if that man didn’t even reach twice your age. What if you hated every second of it but there’s nothing else for you to do anyway. what if you have to do it alone. What if you have people surrounding you, people who you trust, who you never ever show that trust to because you don’t understand your emotions and you don’t want them anyway. What if the only other person who went through the exact same thing as you dies. what if he was only a year and a half older than you. what if you cant tell if it was a necessary sacrifice or if he just really wanted to die. What if you won despite and because of him. What if you didnt win, anything, at all, in any way. What if you were 27. What if you were wondering when it was your turn. What if you kept living.
You see me take a long drag from a cigarette but instead of breathing out I just keep inhaling. I suck the entire cigarette into my mouth like kirby. I don’t even chew. I take out another cigarette
Gahhh just the concept of 27 year old Near makes me wanna start chewing on the furniture because GOD. He started as the youngest person on the kira case and now he’d older than mello and older than matt and older than light and older than L. Hair holds memories and he lets it grow as long as he can, he lives aimlessly just so that he can see everyone he once knew look younger and smaller in his memory. He’s outlived his usefulness but also anyone who could have told him what to do next. Im going to start biting :D
