legit just hands you a coupon for half off slurpees at 7-11 for a month and walks away
TW: Self-Harm, Flashing throughout, and visuals of guns
J.D. was standing at his locker in between classes. His body certainly felt heavier than it usually did, almost as if his feet were becoming one with the floor as he stood there. He always found the school’s lighting to be too bright and blinding, his classmates were already enough of a headache as it was he didn’t really need the further incentive to have one. Though today the lights felt particularly blinding as he started entering his locker combination with an almost robotic stillness and precision. He couldn’t even seem to remember what day it was anymore. Monday? Friday? Wednesday? It all appeared the same to him, it had all become blurry now.
It had been a couple weeks now since he moved to Sherwood, Ohio and he had already begun to be lulled into a routine. Sure, it did take longer than it typically did for him to begin to feel burdened by the monotony and dullness of life in a new place that never truly felt new, but it felt especially disheartening seeing as things had started to finally feel different for once. Veronica had brought a spark of life to his cold and dead world. The frozen lake had been thawed; Sleeping Beauty awoken by a kiss. What they did together was the fire born from that very spark and he wanted it to engulf the world as they danced in the fire of all that hurt them, that hurt her. A phoenix rises from the ash of what was before, like he did, like the new world should’ve done too…
Guess the end of mankind and the beginning of the new world waits another day until she’s ready. But, one thing was never in doubt: a frozen lake can’t easily be frozen again once it’s been thawed out. Once you cut a puppet’s strings off it doesn’t stop being a real boy, a carved out heart doesn’t stop bleeding because you put a napkin over it and call it “fixed.”
He kept putting in the numbers, concentrating on each number individually.
Maybe that was the combination from his last school instead? He’d been through ten high schools and the only thing that had ever changed was his locker combination.
How he wished something else would change…
As he stood there, wishing he could punch his locker door open or better yet, just bludgeon his head against his locker until his skull was shattered and his brain matter stained the pristine door he couldn’t manage to get open (he bet all the school would even do was ask the janitor to clean up the mess instead of actually doing anything about it) one of his peers who’s name escaped him (he didn’t bother to remember anyone he didn’t have to) handed him a coupon for his favorite place:
𝟱𝟬% 𝙊𝙁𝙁 𝘼 𝙎𝙈𝘼𝙇𝙇 𝙎𝙇𝙐𝙍𝙋𝙀𝙀, 𝘼𝙉𝙔 𝙁𝙇𝘼𝙑𝙊𝙍!
Huh, well a Slurpee did sound nice right about now if he was being honest. 7-Eleven wasn’t just his favorite place, it was a sacred place. The constant iceberg in a sea of change. He prayed at the altar of slush to keep him sane in the trying times, in the unending lifeline of numb lacking in mountains of true joy or agony. It felt like everytime he was about to despair, every time the voice in his head got too loud there was a 7-Eleven waiting for him, calling to him. His relief, his escape, his joy it could all be found in those very linoleum aisles…
It was coincidentally also the place where he met and really got to know her.
𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒅𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒕 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒇𝒐𝒓…
𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐥𝐥.
You know, there had been a distinct lack of Slurpees in his life lately…He thought he didn’t need them. Not anymore at least. His head had been notably quieter since beginning his relationship with Veronica, he could’ve sworn her love kept the bad things in his head away and in return he kept all the bad things away from her. Amid all the chaos and commotion, in the blood and the drain cleaner, he never felt his mind feel so clear, like a jolt of lightning coursing through his veins. But, now the chaos had settled, the lightning ceased, and his mind was messed up, clouded and hazy with all he wanted to do but couldn’t because she said he shouldn’t. He knew Veronica would be concerned to know he was considering taking up the coupon and diving back into the ice, getting lost in the pain he knew far too well by now-she always was so caring like that…Maybe even too much for her own good he thought. She cared about even the most vile of people who she shouldn’t. If he thought he was blind she was even more so, messed up by all the lies they fed her about how the world should work, not how it actually works.
He wasn’t like that. He was too cold to know her warmth but not cold enough to be as icy as he used to be…
Maybe one more wouldn’t be so bad…
To unburden his load, of course…
Forget what he’s pretending to be for her….
ᶠᵒʳᵍᵉᵗ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ⁱᵗ’ˡˡ ⁿᵉᵛᵉʳ ᵇᵉ ᵉⁿᵒᵘᵍʰ ᶠᵒʳ ʰᵉʳ
ᵀʰᵃᵗ ᵗʰⁱˢ ⁱˢⁿ’ᵗ ʷʰᵒ ʰᵉ ⁱˢ
ᵀʰᵃᵗ ˢʰᵉ’ˡˡ ⁿᵉᵛᵉʳ ˡᵒᵛᵉ ʰⁱᵐ ᶠᵒʳ ʰⁱᵐ
H͟e͟’͟s͟ ͟t͟o͟o͟ ͟d͟a͟m͟a͟g͟e͟d͟.͟ ͟T͟o͟o͟ ͟b͟r͟o͟k͟e͟n͟.͟ ͟
It really was beginning to become too much noise for him…
Fighting pain with more pain, it’s what he always did at a time like this…
Oh, what is that sound he hears?
Say, can the sound of the tried and true Slurpee machine cover it up?
L͟e͟t͟’͟s͟ ͟t͟r͟y͟ ͟i͟t͟,͟ ͟s͟h͟a͟l͟l͟ ͟w͟e͟?͟
He politely thanks the individual and stuffs the coupon in his pocket. He really should know better than to lie to his beloved by now…
He really fucking should…
