MY CAT WROTE MY SCRIPT

They're really good with story

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

I cannot put into mortal words how fucking badly I want that swedish goat to burn. We live in a modern surveillance hellscape and not only is big brother watching you but he’s monitoring your purchase habits so he can sell you a smart refrigerator that will spy on you for the cia. the full weight of modern technology can be rallied to protect that straw monument to human hubris and I want us to burn it anyway. I want the might of modern society to crumple in the face of a drunk swede with a zippo lighter. we can do it just take my hand

[tastefullyoffensive]

I can't exactly explain why this is true, but it is.

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[popculturebrain]

Adam Conover Calls Out David Zaslav’s $250 Million Salary on Air at CNN: ‘The Same Level as 10,000 Writers’

Writer and comedian Adam Conover blasted David Zaslav, the Warner Bros Discovery CEO, during an interview with CNN on Tuesday, a company Zaslav also oversees. “David Zaslav, the CEO of Warner Bros.

Subscribe to the Pop Culture Brain Daily newsletter for more stories like this!

[lunadensmidnightprowl]

Every other social media site in March: hey what's up I guess it's march now

Tumblr:

[jvgsjeff]

[yahenni]

[doctor-wormm]

please reblog this i spent way too long on what was supposed to be a quick edit

[xxziggystardust]

[dnotive]

HEY. HOW DID YOU GET SO BIG.

WHAT KIND OF DOG ARE YOU.

I HAVE QUESTIONS FOR YOU.

[xxziggystardust]

[dnotive]

HEY. HOW DID YOU GET SO BIG.

WHAT KIND OF DOG ARE YOU.

I HAVE QUESTIONS FOR YOU.

[albertcamusofficial]

[locusimperium]

[swan-archive]

locusimperium:

A few years ago, when I was living in the housing co-op and looking for a quick cookie recipe, I came across a blog post for something called “Norwegian Christmas butter squares.” I’d never found anything like it before: it created rich, buttery and chewy cookies, like a vastly superior version of the holiday sugar cookies I’d eaten growing up. About a year ago I went looking for the recipe again, and failed to find it. The blog had been taken down, and it sent me into momentary panic. 

Luckily, I remembered enough to find it on the Wayback Machine, and quickly copied it into a file that I’ve saved ever since. I probably make these cookies about once a month, and they last about five days around my voracious husband - they’re fantastic with a cup of bitter coffee or tea. I’m skeptical that there is something distinctively Norwegian about these cookies, but they do seem like the perfect thing to eat on a cold day. 

Norwegian Christmas Butter Squares

1 cup unsalted butter, softened

1 egg 1 cup sugar 2 cups flour 1 tsp vanilla ½ tsp salt Turbinado/ Raw Sugar for dusting

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Chill a 9x13″ baking pan in the freezer. Do not grease the pan.

Using a mixer, blend the butter, egg, sugar, and salt together until it is creamy.  Add the flour and vanilla and mix using your hands until the mixture holds together in large clumps. If it seems overly soft, add a little extra flour. 

Using your hands, press the dough out onto the chilled and ungreased baking sheet until it is even and ¼ inch thick.  Dust the top of the cookies evenly with raw sugar.

Bake at 400 degrees until the edges turn a golden brown, about 12-15 minutes. Remove from the oven. Let cool for about five minutes before cutting the cooked dough into squares. Remove the squares from the warm pan using a spatula.

[brawltogethernow]

So I tried this recipe.

And it is GREAT.

It basically makes the platonic ideal of commercial sugar cookies, only in bar form. When I give them to people (which I do a lot, because this is one of those simple recipes where the results seem very impressive), I just tell them they’re sugar cookie bars.

[davetheshady]

Life hack: add white chocolate chips and sea salt

[mxxnlit-witch]

I made these today for the equinox with sea salt caramel chips and they are simply amazing. Let’s see how long they last with six people in the house!

[dduane]

Noting for later (as we need more butter for this, and probably won’t do a grocery shopping till the weekend).

[amyamychan]

The OP version of this has become my go-to cookie for basically all things and I have a whole cohort of friends and colleagues who would murder each other to get them. Haven’t tried any add ons yet, since the base recipe is SO GOOD.

[catboyizuru-moved]

new tumblr users:

old tumblr users:

[masonelliott-deactivated2020102]

i have never seen a more accurate photos set

[vancityreynolds]

Oh hello, Tumblr

[artemisiasea]

From Practicing Mediocrity

[akelacooper]

A Word On Episode 108 of Strange New Worlds

It’s taken me a while to figure out what I wanted to say with this, because there’s so much I want to say about this episode and what it means to me. I will start by saying it was an absolute pleasure to co-write this with Onitra Johson, and experience her talent first hand. She’s one to watch and I can’t wait to see what she does next. Big props to Amanda Row for her amazing directing, she knocked this out of the park and you can tell everyone is having a blast. And, a huge shout out to our costume designer Bernadette Croft and the whole costume department who absolutely killed it with these costumes. I cannot describe to you how thrilled I was when they showed us the preliminary designs. Just stunning, absolutely stunning.  

Turning to the episode, I’m a huge fan of the off-kilter, or even “weird” episodes of sci-fi shows, like the X-Files’ “Jose Chung’s From Outer Space” or Supernatural’s “Wishful Thinking” and, of course, Star Trek: TNG’s Q-Pid. I LOVE these kinds of episodes and I was thrilled to write one. I remember being in the writers’ room trying to crack this, and shout-out to Robin Wasserman who’s Rukiya pitch opened up the story to wonderful possibilities. It was one of the most fun story breaks I’ve had in my career. 

As I said, there’s so much I could say but what it comes down to is that, ultimately, this episode is a love letter from a daughter to her parents. My parents were huge Star Trek fans, it was family viewing in our home, from TOS to TNG to DS9. That I could add their names—Ridley and Debra—to the Star Trek mythos is a huge personal achievement for me. The moment Dr. M’Benga tells Rukiya when she grows up she’ll write stories how she wants is reminiscent of a moment I had with my father as an adolescent. While watching DS9 together I was unhappy with where some story was going and complained to my dad. He told me when I become a writer I can write it how I want it. It was a casual moment for him, but for me it meant the world because there was no question in his voice that I would succeed. My mother was equally reassuring and encouraged my imagination by buying me every book I asked for. I am lucky I had parents who supported my dream of becoming a writer. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d actually get to write for the show that inspired so much of my imagination and that I hope this series continues to inspire a new generation.

[ms-demeanor]

Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of bullshit you need to do when someone you love dies? I actually did that.

HERE IS THE VERSION WITH LOTS OF SWEARING AT THE USELESS, SHITTY SITUATION YOU’RE IN.

HERE IS THE VERSION WITH A FAIR AMOUNT OF BLACK HUMOR BUT NO CURSEWORDS.

Featuring Helpful Sections such as:

Death Certificates – What you need, why you need them, and how to get them

Prepare to spend a long and miserable time on the phone

What the Everloving Fuck is Probate

Some Simple Dos and Don’ts

Shitty Mad Libs – Templates for writing Obituaries and Memorials

How to plan a non-religious death party

So you suddenly have to become some sort of hacker or some shit

This is an eighteen page book that you can print out, download, share, and give away; it is meant to be used to collect information about funeral planning and account management after a death OR you can use it BEFORE you die and give people information so they’re not stuck playing Nancy Fucking Drew while trying to keep seventeen cousins who crawled out of the woodwork from gutting each other in front of the fucking casket as they argue about who’s inheriting grandma’s favorite dentures.

It’s not exactly cheerful and it’s full of things that are probably going to feel really fucking raw if you’re processing a fresh death.

I’m sorry! I love you! Death is shitty! I’m trying to laugh about it a little and I hope you can laugh a little too because otherwise we’re all just going to cry together.

Good luck!

(in memory of my weirdo mother and her weirdo siblings who all died too fucking young and left me holding this flaming bag of dogshit)

[saffronhare]

This is so radically kind, thank you

[ms-demeanor]

You’re welcome!

Life is short, kindness is what we’ve got.

When my mom died it wasn’t exactly unexpected but it was still sooner than we all thought it would happen. It was a huge punch in the guts and the thought of making things and not being able to show her and share them with her still hurts but in that first month it was like drowning.

So I made this for her, and shared it with and showed it to other people who are hurting, because my momma didn’t raise a quitter but she sure did raise a softhearted fool who wants everyone to feel a little more loved and a little more worthy and a little less alone.

I love you. Take care. Be kind.

[gothiccharmschool]

This is important, useful, and so very damn kind.

[benadryllboy]

[ID: a series of images at the top of the post of different people looking distressed. The images say, “So you’re confronting your own morality. Preparing for the end. Or some dipshit up and died and now I’m stuck dealing with this mess.” /end ID]

[akelacooper]

'The Nun 2' Confirmed for Upcoming Warner Bros. Slate

The Nun 2 will bring Valak back to the Conjuring Universe, with the sequel announced by WB during the CinemaCon 2022 event.

Yup! It’s still happening! And that’s all I can say for now!

[offishly]

active tumblr users in 2021 (real)