Diamond Cornelius

the official blog of Diamond Cornelius

[akizuke]

my name is diamond cornelius.

[akizuke]

i love being friends-in-law with a group of completely bonkers insane people from a distance and getting updates like OMG she is keeping a possum in her apartment? a possum from outside?

[40ouncesandamule]

Orcas filmed ramming one of the world's heaviest fish so hard it explodes, possibly for fun

Orcas are known to be smart and ruthless hunters. They've been observed hunting a variety of prey, with some species, such as whales, larger

I'm Johnny Knoxville and this is Jackass

[40ouncesandamule]

[marxistlesbianist]

Yup

[staranos]

That's absolutely insane.

[sludgebitch]

[twinkhole-destroyer]

you are my coworker and to some extent my victim

[akizuke]

we tell ham "i love you" so much that she responds to it like her name when she hears us say it.... i s2g she thinks I Love You Ham is just her full name ohh im going to cry...

[akizuke]

omg. i think ive struck gold but i didnt write the ingredient measurements down specifically

approximate measurements of what i did:

12 pitted dates

1 cup peanut butter

1 egg

3/4 cup maple syrup (i will be trying honey next time)

1 cup unflavored protein powder (i used half pea protein and half whey protein)

pinch of salt

tsp of vanilla

splash of water

blend all of this in a food processor until smooth. add more water if necessary to get a pancake batter consistency.

then stir in i think like 2ish cups of old fashioned oats (not quick oats!)

add more oats or more water until its the consistency of a thick quick bread batter/soft serve ice cream. like not quite a dough but still thick enough to shape with a spoon and not spread or run. let it sit for a moment for the oats to absorb some water and reassess the texture then.

add choccy chips to taste and i bet it would be good with nuts too but i didnt have any

spread on a baking sheet and bake at 350f for 20 mins

these are like, less chewy/slightly cakier than clif bars, like an oatmeal cookie, but with more protein and fiber and certainly much much cheaper. i will be revisiting this and getting more exact measurements to write down methinks.

[dittography-direwolf]

Totally normal for a legitimate for-profit company to refuse to reclaim or stop running their products even after they're no longer being paid to do so. I'm sure it's very normal to just keep running your service for free when your contract's been terminated. Spending money to continue running cameras that supposedly no one is looking at is definitely not an indicator they are just run by the federal government to spy on everyone and only a wacko conspiracy theorist would think so.

[doomtemparts]

one of my friends in a discord server was talking about how they were nervous about their first scheduled acupuncture appointment. another friend offered to do a tarot reading for them. sent this picture.

[k-i-l-l-e-r-b-e-e-6-9]

[akizuke]

offering plate as coffee table organization?

[occidentalist]

(Source)

[akizuke]

are apothecary-style cup pulls part of the millenial green kitchen cinematic universe or are they classic enough to look okay in five years? bcs its too late i just installed them on all my cabinets.....

[insertionette]

[akizuke]

had a sudden and stark revelation that my cheekbones look striking with my hair back but buglike with my hair down.. im trying to decide if the best step forward is a pixie cut, growing my hair out enough for updos, or buying more silk scarves.

[mrsterlingeverything]

they always ask the stupidest fucking questions on jeopardy like 'who is lady gargar' id be asking the real shit like 'how can you be in love with someone you dont even like' or 'am i responsible for the deaths of the ants i crush while laying in the grass'. theyre supposed to be thinkers

[akizuke]