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@akosuaa
Hey friends, I haven’t posted in this space for a while, but I did remake here. I’m using my new blog to post some writing and thoughts more intently and reconnect with so many of you that I miss on here. Hope to see you there
Sharon
Beating the “Not-Back-To-School” Blues
Let me just start by saying that I love school and I didn’t realize how much I loved school, of course, until I wasn’t in it anymore. There’s something comforting and almost exciting about re-entering a space you were once in and making plans to be better than you were the year before– to improve in order to get closer to the goal of graduation and to grow for the prospect of launching into your career. I think the thing I’ve missed most about school is that in many ways it can be a more physical way of tracking progress. So in 2011, after I left my dream school to pursue motherhood, I was thrown into a bit of a pity party/anxiety fest every new semester and especially every new back to school year. I began to absolutely dread seeing dorm room ads, school supplies stocked up at Target or Walmart and Facebook updates of once high school peers, settling into nicer halls as upperclassmen at their universities and reuniting with new “old” friends. However, this year, has been different. I feel focused, determined and surprisingly not bothered by the back to school bonanza. So while I’m certain many are feeling absolute dread as they wake up for early morning classes and stay up for late night study sessions, I’m also certain I can’t be the only person who has ever felt very strange, out of place, depressed and confused when back to school time approaches. These are a few tips/changes I’ve implemented in my life to reconcile with my “not-back-to-school-blues”
read more here
Head on over to our new space on lateblmrsociety.com to check out our favorite natural cold remedies just in time for the upcoming cold season!
Hello! We are back with a quick update and new blog space for LBS!
Please come check out what we’ve done and subscribe for updates. We plan to keep the tumblr for providing links to our new content. Head on over to our new blog to read the full update.
It's super wild how much this experience has opened my eyes and while I blocked the replies I still see little comments here and there. What I'm glad I did get out of this is recognizing that as a parent there have been times I have taken part in the ugly misconceptions about children and youth and I now want to make it my full time job to correct that, starting in the ways I interact and assist integrating Stokely into everyday life. I am looking into homeschooling and studying up on Montessori and the Reggio Emilia Philosophy and I definitely want to start being more hands on with Stokely as a parent. I had been feeling super disconnected with tumblr to begin with and I think everything that happened was truly anointed timing. Tumblr has been an incredible space to fill up the social connection I was lacking and now it's time to refocus my attention on my partner and my child. I will be running bnbcorners in my free time on the weekends and Grace and I will be moving LBS from this space as well-so keep a lookout on our big move! This has been a super cool journey and if you'd like you can actually follow my IG here! Have a beautiful week xx
What we learn before we’re born.
This is so wild and cool, I love that babies learn to cry in their mother’s native tongue, matching the pitch and tone within two days of birth.
Thank you for speaking on adultism. This is something I've thought for a long time, back when I was working with abused children. The reaction of my friends when I'd tell them stories from work was disgusting. Like yes this kid punched me in the stomach, but he learned that from his dad, the response "ugh children" is not appropriate. I didn't even know the term adultism so thank you for bringing it to light. I am someone who really cares about children but doesn't want them myself.
Thank you for sharing your story with me! I absolutely had no intention on shaming child-free people and I still do not believe my post did that. I wanted to shed some light on how we view children/youth and ways we can change how we speak about them and view them. Many abusers, as you’ve said yourself, are parents themselves! Adultism is a relatively new term for me as well so I’m still learning and unlearning, but Im very glad I could play a small part in continuing the conversation
👏👏👏👏
mangoestho Mekha on God, this has been the most eye opening experience I've ever had on this website.
It is very clear that there is not a presence of child activism on this site and the only time you people seem to care about children is when they are put in tragic circumstances. It is clear that children are not seen as separate entities and developing learning people, but rather as extensions of their parents or care givers and it is clear that many of you do in fact hate children because you are reaching and bending in ways I’ve never imagined to justify using hate speech against children and I cannot help you with that. I'm washing my hands of this one.
I'm going to choose to answer these two anonymous questions, since the other ones I got were incredibly unproductive. Once I answer these two questions I will be finished on this because I really do not have the time, energy or patience to answer and debate every single rebuttal- I don't think I've reached that place of higher consciousness and peace yet and my cortisol levels are through the roof, lmfao!
I think the biggest issue with this post is that people absolutely misread it, completely. Contrary to this popular belief, and excuse my french here, but I could give a flying fuck what you choose to do or not do with your reproductive system. I do not care I really really don't! Perhaps I didn't say it clear enough in the post so I will be very clear here- I do not care if you do not want to have children. I do not care if you do. It is none of my business. There are plenty of things I care about and I'm sorry to say but a lot of you have to get over yourself because I do not care, from the bottom of my heart I sincerely do not care. What my concern is however is the language in which we choose to use when speaking about children because whether you choose to have children or not, we do have to share this space, this world and this planet with children- in the same way we must share this planet with all people of different races, genders, sexualities, religions- etc.
The first anon is a great example of what I've consistently seen, which is misdirected hate. There is a hate around societal pressures to have children (understandable) there is a hate around the idea that your life, especially women's, are not complete or whole without children (completely understandable) None of this has anything to do with children themselves- and all to do with these ideas. Let's discuss those ideas, those ideologies and those systems, absolutely!! We can however do this, without having to use hate speech towards a group of people who are often marginalized to begin with. “You do not own your life after you have children” Whether or not this is true (lol it's a huge generalization and in my case as an actual parent- it's not) also has nothing to do with children and more to do with if a person feels they are equipped to emotionally, mentally, financially and something physically handle having a child or children. Children are not burdens, children are not useless, and not all children are “little shits” and it's so funny because so many people attempted to call me and drag me on the post as being ableist while using ableist language to describe children- which if you didn't know is adultist behavior.
For the second anon, you're absolutely right in me saying “children have literally done nothing” that was a ridiculous hyperbole and I retract that. What I do mean, is that when you look at the position of children in the world from the moment they are born until well into their teenage years- they are the most controlled and vulnerable group of people. Within our laws, social programs, schools, culture and homes, children don't really have a voice and when they do choose to use it they are often reprimanded or not taken seriously (like this is the very example of this they cannot even defend themselves on this platform!) Children may not be “perfect little angels” but they are observant. They make fun of other children or people they don't understand because they see other adults doing it. They are products of their environment.
I think what disappointed me most about the reaction to that post is that tumblr is a space that absolutely prides itself in openness. When it comes to issues concerning race, gender, sexuality, abuse, mental health there is a very huge and resourceful movement and that's what I've always admired about it. It was very odd to me to see people speaking of children as though they are a sub species of human and as if the issues of race, gender, sexuality, abuse and mental health do not intersect with children as well.
There are all sorts of people of all walks of life who do bad things- but to make a statement such as “I hate women” “I hate bi-sexuals” “I hate Atheists” on the basis of broad generalizations about these groups would have sparked outrage. How did me simply asking people to consider using different language when talking about children- a group of people who are often abused, manipulated, not taken seriously, exploited, looked down upon just for being young and dependent become a debate and an outrage about what people choose to do with their sperm and eggs?
I do not care
What I do care about is how people choose to treat children and think about children so we can better build a society that validates and sees children as productive members of society. You were once a child and there are many adults who view a lot of you who are 16, 17, 18 even 21 as still being young and naive and stupid people. Thats' not true. Think of all the negative and false things people have said about millenials in an effort to silence and reduce them?
With this I want to leave you all with two different texts that can better and much more eloquently break down what I was trying to say
Understanding Adultism by John Bell which is a great introduction into learning about adultism (tw for some ableist language)
and
An Article on Everyday Adultism
and on that note
stay blessed
you are handling these replies so gracefully! i admire that a lot and hope you're having a good night
This is very kind of you to leave in my inbox! I honestly was not expecting this sort of reaction, but I do stand by it. Thank you very much, I really appreciate it and I hope you have a beautiful evening as well!
why do you continue to ignore the replies to your post where people talk about being unsafe and uncomfortable around children due to mental illness and childhood abuse and using words like hate because otherwise their concerns are ignored? is it just because they don't fit your narrative of people who dislike children being mean people who obviously just didn't understand you?
Tbh I turned off the replies once the post hit 500 notes and I’ve been lightly browsing them. I do not have a narrative that people who dislike children are mean, bad people. I just wanted to know why people said they hated them when they haven’t done anything. It sounds like people have more of an issue with people who pester them about children than children themselves and I feel like there is a way to open up conversation about those people without using language like “I hate children” when words/language like that can be harmful.
I don't want children not because they are expensive or I'm not sure if I will be a good mom. I don't want them because I don't fucking like them and I don't even want to be near them. Sorry to burst your bubble.
“Sorry to burst your bubble” With all due respect do not come into my space and speak to me like this- we can engage in conversation without you having to speak to me condescendingly, especially since you did not have the conviction to come off of anon. Secondly, I was not urging people to have children, I literally said in the post “I am not asking you to be a parent” I wanted to know why it would be okay for people to make a statement like “I hate children” when children haven’t done anything and are often products of abuse, poverty, their environment, teachers- all the authoritarians in their life. From the reactions it seems as though people hate the pressures from society to become parents, the misogyny that often comes with pregnancy, the state of our economy/"living” wage that makes it almost impossible to raise children in a financially comfortable environment. These are all understandable things to hate. I have yet to see someone give me a reason as to justify making the statement “I hate children” who are constantly oppressed, abused, exploited and often powerless to begin with. I do not care if you become a mother or not. I do not think it is my business. What is my business is how we view, share, speak and think about children because they are whole human beings and we share this world and space with them.
sariwabuko replied to your post:To be honest this has been very eye opening and...
the responses on that post are so disheartening and ugly
I've seen everything from “I fucking hate children” to someone comparing children to broccoli and saying both are the same thing. I think what is literally shocking to me is that people cannot separate children from parenting, if that makes sense. They feel personally attacked because they think I'm saying “Why won't you have kids? They're great!” When I'm really just saying “why would you say you hate children who are in fact humans just like you and me and not extensions of their parents and a lot of times products of abuse, poverty, the system constantly failing them? They have literally done nothing”
I think people are just taking the post very very personally and are projecting on it. Tbh I don't care what anyone does with their reproductive system, it's not my business, but how we treat and view and speak of children I thought would be like a big issue.
I mean had someone said “I hate women” wouldn't that have been an issue? How come saying “I hate children” is okay?
To be honest this has been very eye opening and educational- I had no idea that people harbored such a fervent disdain for children when all I was asking was consider why you would say “I hate children” when 1. You were once one and 2. They are the most vulnerable, controlled and exploited group of people on the planet. I'm glad this happened, I want to do more reading into adultism.
From John Bell Essay Understanding Adultism: A Major Obstacle to Developing Positive Youth-Adult Relationships
