xo

sandpaper kisses, papercut bliss don't know what this is but it all leads to this

[wordx]

[the-youthclub]

[emotionaleating]

the silence after looking at yourself in the mirror

the silence after relapsing

the silence after breaking down in front of people

the silence after being screamed at

the silence when no one believes you

the silence after a jealous outburst

the silence after crying so much you can’t even remember what you were crying about

the silence after somebody leaves your life

[akusica]

September 16th, 2022

It was 2 days ago, I talked to him about it. I obviously wasn’t ready but I really had to. Letting go feels harder when your heart’s still with him. I know exactly that what we did wasn’t right. I was just keep holding on to my ego. I refused to stop and I was hurting.

But I do love him.

What makes it hard for me to stop, is the fact that I will and have to live with those memories. None of them are bad. And his affection, I never thought I would ever enjoy and even addicted to someone’s affection like his. To the point I trust myself to him. I won’t let anyone touch me, but he surely has that access with no second thought.

But it also confuses me. How can I choose to trust him that much? How can I even love someone who’s not even mine? Everything’s so self destructive.

Now that I told him I need to stop, I feel terrible. I feel scared. I feel like I’ve lost someone that mean so much to me. I lost him. And from now on, I live with those memories. Will the haunt me forever? Does the word “forever” really exist?

[screnwriter-deactivated20220724]

platonic love is so important

[screnwriter-deactivated20220724]

both in fiction and in real life. it is not inferior to romantic love and it is so important to celebrate it

[screnwriter-deactivated20220724]

hug your friends. tell them you love them. swear you’ll be in each other’s lives forever. a lot of the things lovers do aren’t inherently romantic

[hel7l7]

It is nothing now, but it all started with trying something once.

Please take yourself serious, if you start a new destructive behaviour, face yourself. Be honest. All the destructive shit I regret all started with trying it once and then not quitting before it got bad. 

[hel7l7]

[hel7l7]

I think we’re both liars

[frachella]

https://www.instagram.com/frachella/

[morepeachyogurt]

this anger in me, this hate is me

1. sue zhao (@blossomfully) | 2. ocean vuong | 3. daughter | 4. anne carson (via @heavensghost) | 5. @morepeachyogurt | 6. yohji yamamoto | 7. @ibvyache | 8. lorde (via @teenbeachmovie3) | 9. rachel mckibbens | yves olade | 10. nicole lyons | 11. debra lott | 12. ernest hemingway | 13. andrew harewood | 14. @kamokugajin on deviantart | 15. richard siken |

[eljayetc]

[hotephoetips-deactivated2017080]

avoiding your family as a practice of self-care

[ashstfu]

january 2022 keeps testing me like im mentally stable or something

[mournfulroses]

[akusica]

are u in love or are u lonely?

[akusica]

funny how rn i feel like i’m missing something, but im not sure if that’s what i feel, then i think maybe i just feel alone and empty, but then i stop doing what im doing and just staring at my wall, trying to recognize what i really feel, and then it’s your name. i think it’s you, i think i miss seeing you around, feels like its been so long since the last time we actually had our time. but it’s not like we will always have our time, because there’s no “we”, i mean we’re not a thing lol but ngl i hope you plan on seeing me tho. damnnnnn this is stupid. yes and by funny i mean pathetic and stupid.

[djklmnx]

[akusica]

they dont have to know, sometimes