mean girls

No, I'm not perfect yet, but at least I don't pretend to be the world's best friend.

[k-kipton]

I don’t get it! Please explain!

[alannaclarke]

No can do, babydoll.

[k-kipton]

Oh my gosh no why why why??

[alannaclarke]

That. That is why.

[k-kipton]

I can’t tell if you’re mad, are you mad?

[alannaclarke]

No, just supremely disappointed.

[dreamerdallas-blog]

I’m sorry?

[alannaclarke]

Oh, god, you're worse than Bert. At least he's a dickhead 95% of the time.

[dreamerdallas-blog]

Yeah, sunshine’s legit. 

[alannaclarke]

You make me sad.

[k-kipton]

I’m sorry!

[alannaclarke]

Honey.

[dreamerdallas-blog]

Dude, you need a glass of sunshine.

[alannaclarke]

So sorcery is a no but bottling and then pouring out sunshine into a cup isn't. 

[k-kipton]

I know, it’s just who I am! Well… Um… Okay no I can’t be mean to you I don’t know you well enough and I don’t want to alienate you or anything.

[alannaclarke]

Oh, honey.

[dreamerdallas-blog]

Er, uh. Okay. I just—I don’t know? I figure why worry about other people’s shit when you can just smoke a joint and look at the stars while eating Doritos. 

[alannaclarke]

Because if you smoke joints you'll fuck up your brain and if you eat too many doritos you'll get fat and when you look up at the sky, most of the stars you see are already dead, so that's just fucking depressing.

[k-kipton]

I can like, tone it down if you want. I can be totally mean to my good friends so I can be like that with you if you like.

[alannaclarke]

You're the actual fucking embodiment of pep, jesus fucking christ. Alright, hit me with your best shot, blondie.

[dreamerdallas-blog]

…What?

[alannaclarke]

Maybe not, then.

[k-kipton]

Oh, that makes a lot of sense! I can feel my vocabulary expanding already, thank you! I try my hardest not to be a bitch, I mean I think Im nice enough because I never want to hurt anyone! That would be the last thing on my mind.

[alannaclarke]

Don't mention it. I'm sure you are. Sweet as sugar. It's somewhat sickening, to be honest, but I guess you can pull it off.

[dreamerdallas-blog]

Uh, I may not be someone who’s considered to understand the difference between what’s real and what’s totally fucking fake, but I’m pretty sure that sorcery’s not one of those things that’s anywhere near real. 

[alannaclarke]

Wow, pretty and smart. Congratulations.

[christianbeckett]

Don’t you dare tell me that you don’t think 21 Jump Street is a tear-jerker.

[alannaclarke]

Okay, I won't.

[christianbeckett]

It was such a touching moment.

[alannaclarke]

Sure.

[em-nash-deactivated20131010]

I just like Golden Gate and the parks and the hills and Haight and Ashbury and all that. I don’t have any future plans that lie on the west coast or anything.

[alannaclarke]

Right, thanks for your life story. Try to stay out of Tenderloin, though, if you ever actually make it there. I hear it's shit and you look like an easy target.

[dreamerdallas-blog]

Or just forget about it altogether? It’s their lives, man, not yours. I say everyone should just chill and go with the flow, accept change and all that.

[alannaclarke]

Oh, god, you're worse than twitter when you go into the no hate tag. Disappear, hippie.