Photographer Willem Verbeeck
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@alanrobertmassey
Photographer Willem Verbeeck
"But not yet, Please" from my debut poetry collection Clean Afternoon Love
Photographer Phil Donohue
06/03/2026
I started my day writing a few chapters of my second draft and I had soft electronic music playing. I like the way that sort of music sounds and how it makes me feel.
I took a very long walk on the beach and I want to sketch it out here. The waves were very big and the wind was very strong out of the north. The wind drove the humidity out and the sky was crisp and vivid and I could see down the beach for a long ways. Lots of brown seaweed washed ashore and covered a great portion of the wet sand. The tide was coming in and coming in fast. The gulls were silent and busy flying above the seaweed and eating the tiny fish that sheltered themselves in it. The gulls were very unbothered and unconcerned with the people, which is unlike them. The seagulls would fly fast with the wind then cut very hard near people’s heads and against the wind and they would stop and fly in place looking down. I looked down the beach and I could see the whites of their bellies and then their wings covering it up and they blended well with the small grey clouds in the distance so that it looked like they were blinking white. It all looked very pretty, like low-flying small kites.
There were many people walking up and down the beach. Lots of families with little children walked along the shore line and the unsupervised older children either combed through the seaweed or threw it amongst themselves and at the wind. The wind would pick it up and cut it and scatter it. Every quarter mile or so there would be a young woman by herself sitting in the banks of soft sand in the shade of the dunes. There were many and many good-looking and happy people on the beach.
It was a very cool summer day. The waves broke in two sections. The water was dark and brown. Far out, the waves collapsed on themselves and broke hard white. On the shore, the waves broke small and powerful and the seaweed showed through the wall of the wave before it broke.
A very happy dog came up to me and I petted it and he ran off.
I had walked for two hours. I came home and sat down and my dad called to ask if I wanted to go to the baseball game Saturday. I said yes.
But I still felt like moving, so I took a shoeless drive south out of town. There were many people out. People stood in long lines waiting to order food at the outdoor restaurants. The parking lots of the sports bars were full. And the nicer restaurants which were tucked in further away from the road had nicely dressed couples walking slowly towards the entrances and the valet drivers in their white and blue polo shirts were scattering to and from their little umbrella booths. I saw all this from the red lights as I waited for them to change.
When I drove further away from the buildings and houses and towards the reservation I had this thought that I could just keep driving south. That I had the energy in me to drive for a few hours and a few hours more until I couldn’t, and maybe I would start a new life down south somewhere waiting tables or working retail. I considered it the way I consider what clothes I’d wear for the day. The thought crept down to my belly and laid heavy there and made me uneasy. In the reservation I drove faster and the wind moved my car around and I really had to focus on my driving and that heavy belly feeling went away and I only felt the numbness of concentration. The cars slowed up in front of me and the red lights were very harsh and fuzzy. It had gotten dark. I pulled into the small gas station between the towns, bought a small juice, and looked at the water across the street. The water was practically at the back doorstep of the homes on the oceanside.
I drove a little further south and had had enough. I pulled into the parking lot of a small oceanside condo and turned around. The thought of starting a new life and going and going south until I couldn’t anymore had left me totally. The feeling in my belly left. It’s a funny thing how serious and unserious those thoughts were. There was nothing which anchored me to one place, but I imagine if there was I’d still have such creeping thoughts. It’s ok though. It makes me happy to think like that and feel all nervous. I wondered what it would be like to watch a late night movie in a town I’m new to.
The stars had come out to the west very bright and clean.
I got home and made dinner and took a bath and read some from the book of Job in the bath. I tried very hard to convince myself that I was not in my house but in a very home-like hotel. I could feel it a little. I liked it and welcomed it. My arms felt light.
There was nothing outside which gave away that tonight was not an October night.
Sagres, Portugal by Luca Severin
-Enclosed field with rising sun-
Hey. Your brain needs to de-frag. Literally it needs you to sit there and space out.
If you want your memory or executive function to improve, stare out a window at the skyline or sidewalk or trees or birds on the electrical wires for like 20+ minutes per day. (With no other stimulation like a podcast or TV if you can manage but hey baby steps innit). If you're fortunate enough to have safe outside with any bits of nature, go stare closely at a 1 meter square of grass and trip out on the bugs and shapes of grasses and stuff.
Literally this will make you smarter. Our brains HAVE TO HAVE this zone out time to do important stuff behind the scenes. This does not happen during sleep, it's something else.
That weird pressurized feeling you get sometimes might be your brain on no defrag.
Give your brain a Daily Dose Of De-Frag.
Meadow with Poplars (1875) by Claude Monet
-Ehrenbreitstein and Coblenz-
What I like in a Poem
From my website: alanrmassey.com
I’ve come across Stevie Smith’s poem “Not Waving but Drowning” in the Oxford English Verse book and was reminded at once what it is I like exactly in a poem. Of course, most of it, that thing which attracts me to a poem in the first place, is an unspeakable thing, which makes the celebration of a poem a rereading and a re-rereading, not a dissection or unnatural preservation (A modern retelling!). I’ve come to realize that most to all beautiful things have the potential to look ugly once cut open, though that’s not to say a poem, or any piece of art, cannot have a deeper, more beautiful meaning underneath its surface. What I mean is that going over every word, relating the poem to some lame news-cycle story, or inserting it into one’s political beliefs turns a poem into something which it is not.
But I’ve come to talk about the powers of poetry, its beauty and holistic restorational qualities. Isn’t there something so healing about reading a relatable poem? This is why we read them. Going back to Ms. Smith’s poem, what I enjoy from it is its relatability. At what point in our lives have we not been mistakenly identified as looking happy and healthy when the reality is the opposite? Just because we like to play and smile doesn’t mean there isn’t some tremendous, almost crippling anxiety or depression or unspecified angst, which are characteristics one despises in another person when it’s so outwardly expressed. What a paradox of the human condition, how it is best to hide when encouraged to come out. It’s nice to know, God it’s nice to know, how not alone we are in this world.
This all comes back to a grand impression a poem gives the reader. Of course its specific actions and words contribute to that overall grand impression, but to give them, or more horrendously, to relate one or two words to a poem’s greatness is to love a cloud for its molecules and a rainbow for its orange. In Smith’s poem I love its wholeness. If one stanza were cut or one word out of place the poem would, like the character, drown. If one thing is out of place this poem turns sentimental. It has all the possibilities of being a middle school diary entry. But all the words add up, and it becomes this thing which is universal and true.
If I sound vague, I apologize. But summing up a poem’s greatness is a vague thing, the specific becomes abstract. Going too far with it, that is the dissection of a poem, does run the risk of ruining its beauty and wholeness. To compartmentalize a poem, that is to break it down by its parts, its stanzas and lines and words, destroys its magic. What I like in a poem is the poem itself. What makes a poem likeable and good is its relation to the reader. For me, and I suspect for a whole lot of others, it is honesty, lightheartedness, a general love for people, specificity in parts and summation in others, perspicacity, and that other unknown thing which binds all great poems together. Stevie Smith’s “Not Waving but Drowning” fulfills these things and also fulfills parts of myself I don’t know about. For that, it is worth reading and rereading and more.
-Nurses in the Park-
Hey everyone. If you'd like to buy my first poetry collection Clean Afternoon Love then you may do so on Amazon. And if you have any questions or comments about poetry then feel free to message me.
Thank you all so much,
ARM
Blurb I had to write about this collection:
These poems are funny little things. They don’t take themselves too seriously. They shave and shower and brush their teeth but totally disregard the anxieties that seem to plague their cousins. Somehow they fell immune. Sure they might not get straight A’s. And they sleep well beyond their alarm clocks, but they walk without shame or guilt or worry and go through this life happily, like the glad idiot who unwittingly makes the world envious of him; these poems shed light inside his life. They fall asleep when their heads hit the pillow and prefer the simile to metaphor.
"Vulnerable Again" from this collection:
-Rough Sea-
-Willows and Figures in a Boat-
-Enclosed Field with Peasant-
-Large Trees at Jas de Bouffan-