sorry but alaric saltzman wouldnt mistreat a kid because of their family he would adopt hope in a heartbeat & plague can fight me
noise dept.

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@alareic
sorry but alaric saltzman wouldnt mistreat a kid because of their family he would adopt hope in a heartbeat & plague can fight me
friendly reminder my alaric is tvd based only
any kids who try replace me w/ thesaurus salamander are disowned
𝐈'𝐌 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐋 !
I’m sorry buddy, I’m gonna miss you.
𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐕𝐀𝐋 𝐖𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐄𝐃 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐘 𝐎𝐍 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒 ! hazel hues not wavering from the salvatore's back until front door was closed over behind him. akin to a dog , 𝙷𝙰𝙲𝙺𝙻𝙴𝚂 𝚁𝙰𝙸𝚂𝙴𝙳 / 𝚃𝙴𝙴𝚃𝙷 𝙰𝙻𝙻 𝙱𝚄𝚃 𝙱𝙴𝙰𝚁𝙴𝙳 . distrust & wariness at anything with fangs , concern for her & jeremy's safety flaring . ❛ is them being here every other day really necessary ? ❜
𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥. / @griefphd
❝ i’d sell you to satan for one corn chip. ❞
❛ HUH , that seems to be a common train of thought. caroline said the same thing when i 𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐃 to source out an open fast food restaurant at three am . ❜
𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐬. / 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠. / @wclfgirl
( * &. – MORE POPULAR TEXT POST STARTERS .
‘ i’m alive out of spite. ’
‘ do you ever just feel super unloveable? ’
‘ i’m so datable…. and yet here i am…. not being asked on dates….tragic…. ’
‘ hey quick question: what the fuck is going on?? ’
‘ i’m a person who wants to do lots of things trapped inside a body that wants to SLEEP at all times. ’
‘ my mindset is changing and i just don’t want to be around certain things or people anymore. ’
‘ i want mamma mia to become the fast and furious franchise of musicals. ’
‘ playlists are a love language. ’
‘ gay culture is being just a little bit in love with all your friends. ’
‘ so damn ready for hoodies and cold nights. ’
‘ if you were emo once you’re emo for life, whether you wear the uniform anymore or not. ’
‘ i’m all panic and no disco. ’
‘ me talking to myself in the morning: okay bitch, get the fuck up. ’
‘ can i stop existence for a few hours? ’
‘ you ain’t at your lowest till you sit down in a standing shower. ’
‘ i’m super sexual but like also i’m super shy which don’t mix well. ’
‘ princess aurora is just so relatable… she’s known for simply… sleeping… inspirational tbh… ’
‘ destroy the idea that i can be stopped. that i can be defeated by mortal hands. ’
‘ on all levels except physical i am an emo middle schooler. ’
‘ whatever you do, do it with love. ’
‘ we’re all just ex-emo kids tryin to make it in this post-emo world. ’
‘ i just want to dance around in lacy lingerie and oversized shirts and makeout on someones lap. ’
‘ screenshots don’t scare me, i know what the fuck i said. ’
‘ i’m going to say something super controversial here: billionaires shouldn’t exist. ’
‘ i just had the absolute WORST realization: glee would have covered despacito. ’
‘ i wish to radiate moonlight and heavenly energy at all times. ’
‘ shout out to everyone who i still trying to heal from things they don’t talk about. ’
‘ it’s just me and my big thighs against the world. ’
‘ what happens to all your teen angst when you’re 20… like where does it go? ’
‘ shout out to my incoherent bitches!! shout out to all the babes out there who don’t make no fucking sense!! ’
‘ tiny hearts generate above my head when i think of you. ’
‘ tested positive for overthinking. ’
‘ queer eye is just like ‘damn bitch, you live like this?’ the show. ’
‘ i want the queer eye guys to come to my house and just burn all my shit then prescribe me adderall. ’
‘ i don’t even keep up with the memes anymore, i just accept them. when we’re sad we play despacito? okie dokie. ’
‘ am i annoying and a little ugly? yes. but will i let that get in the way of doing what i love and being happy?? also probably yes. ’
‘ someone waiting to do something because they want to experience it with you is a glowing kind of love. ’
‘ am i in love with someone? nah i got shit to do. ’
‘ never understood people who let candy melt in their mouth. i’ll bite down on a damn jolly rancher because i lack the patience. ’
‘ if you think i’m cute you legally have to tell me. ’
‘ look at you, living everyday without the person you thought you needed. ’
‘ i want a soft love that feels like when your standing in the sunlight and you don’t want to leave and that gives you the sensation of lazily melting into what’s around you as you take it all in ’
‘ my neck, my back, my anxiety attack. ’
‘ why get a boyfriend when you can get a pack of really nice pens. ’
‘ in sixth grade you were either a cucumber melon bitch or a warm vanilla sugar bitch. ’
‘ friendly reminder: the way they treat(ed) you is not a reflection of your worth. ’
‘ i wish i could be near you, my heart misses you. ’
‘ i’m not trying my hardest but i’m very tired which i think should be taken into consideration ’
very serious rp starters
warning: some may be nsfw
❝ begone, thot. ❞
❝ OWO what’s this??? ❞
❝ i’m an adult virgin. ❞
❝ OOF OW MY BONES HURT. ❞
❝ welcome to my twisted mind. ❞
❝ i bless the rains down in africa. ❞
❝ why would you say something so controversial yet so brave? ❞
❝ THEN PERISH. ❞
❝ can i get uhhhhhhhh…. boneless pizza? ❞
❝ he’ll slip and slide on this banana peel! ❞
❝ i diagnose you with gay. ❞
❝ ball is life. ❞
❝ alexa, play ‘despacito’. ❞
❝ …..it’s free real estate. ❞
❝ coming out of my cage and i’ve been doing just fine. ❞
❝ why are you booing me? i’m right. ❞
❝ he protecc, but he also attac. ❞
❝ hi, welcome to chili’s. ❞
❝ ___ has been dead for ___ slutty, slutty years. ❞
❝ anyway, here’s ‘wonderwall’. ❞
❝ mmmmmm steamed clams! ❞
❝ i won’t hesitate, bITCH! ❞
❝ pretzels is the same. ❞
❝ if she breathes, she’s a THOT! ❞
❝ WHAT ARE THOOOOOOSE? ❞
❝ i wanna be a cowboy, baby! ❞
❝ FUCK yo chicken strips! ❞
❝ all according to keikaku (keikaku means plan). ❞
❝ i’d sell you to satan for one corn chip. ❞
❝ move, i’m gay. ❞
❝ it’s true, but he shouldn’t say it. ❞
❝ i never went to oovoo javer. ❞
❝ kachow! ❞
❝ guess i’ll die. ❞
❝ you know i had to do it to em. ❞
❝ oh, you haven’t heard?? ❞
❝ chipotle is my life. ❞
❝ YOU ARE ALREADY DEAD. ❞
❝ mmm mmm, creamy! ❞
❝ the last thing you’d want in your burger king burger is someone’s foot fungus, but, it turns out, that might be what you gaet. ❞
who's going 2 give me original vampire alaric
l owkey starter call
reblog this if you actually like following me.
“ i’m sorry ”
𝐅𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐃 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐖 & 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐖𝐍 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇 𝐈𝐓 ! paternal instincts kicked into overdrive . hunters arms coil around her shoulders , pulling her tight against plaid covered chest . kiss dropped ‘pon crown of daughters head , side - gaze tossed towards SHATTERED glass . ❛ it’s alright . 𝚠𝚎'𝚟𝚎 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚛𝚘𝚔𝚎𝚗 our fair share of windows . ❜
𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐬. / 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠. / @geminaie
❝ i can’t FIX it if i don’t know what’s wrong. ❞
@alareic ♡’d for a starter
❛ did you stop to consider that maybe you can't fix this ? ❜
texts from last night! meme
[text] Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today? [text] The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here [text] He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after. [text] I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW [text] So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one’s for Team USA. [text] He gave me the “find somebody who wants to date you for who you are” speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants. [text] I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese [text] I just got high off one hit and then Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refrigerator and researching ways to replace it [text] Seriously. I’m like, “Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you’re so fucking intelligent I’m turned on?” [text] Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet? [text] He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I’m keeping him. [text] I’m making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life. [text] It’s a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later. [text] Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I’ve been waiting for this moment forever. [text] Lesson learned. Don’t roleplay with a real knife. [text] We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman’s birthday party for the food. Whoops. [text] He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle. [text] I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I’d say it was a pretty successful Thursday night. [text] I’m wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real. [text] He’s like… An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It’s almost unsettling [text] I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I’ve found the One. [text] Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while… if you happen to find your balls then join us [text] i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled “dibs!”… [text] and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered “Simba” [text] so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog. [text] Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever. [text] Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me [text] We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sounds logical. Thank you daylight savings. [text] when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was “chug-a-lug” [text] There’s a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork. [text] Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine [text] My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there. [text] He told me he loved me. I didn’t know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him [text] Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten [text] Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly. [text] He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter. [text] we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I’ve ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury [text] I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man’s heart. [text] When was the last time you wore pants? [text] I’ve replaced you with thin mints and masturbation [text] Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast. [text] Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time [text] Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent [text] We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person. [text] I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how’s your day going? [text] I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn’t need it today. [text] We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What’s wrong with this tradition? [text] all i’ve had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila. [text] Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don’t exist? [text] Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special [text] And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention [text] This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the “High While Analyzing Disney Movies” texts begin. [text] Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won’t quit poking me on fb [text] I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes [text] One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won’t be me. I’m drinking liquor out of a fishbowl. [text] You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy [text] im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster [text] just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing. [text] I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on [text] Let’s play a little game called “Chill the Fuck Out” - you’re our first contestant [text] Didn’t get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie. [text] I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion. [text] you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat [text] tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance? [text] We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out [text] maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game [text] i think its awesome that according to your mom i’m your friend that caught on fire. [text] So fucked up. Can’t tell if I’m starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out. [text] I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day. [text] Vodka is such a love hate relationship. [text] you traded sex for a burrito? [text] I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos. [text] You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there. [text] it’s not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher. [text] You’re always adorable, but when you’re drunk, you’re like Chia Pet adorable. [text] this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest [text] I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box [text] I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old’s Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day. [text] It’s like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it’s gummy bears and instead of milk it’s vodka. [text] You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go [text] Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome. [text] we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying “i mean who doesn’t like cheetos” [text] quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you [text] I left a cheeto on everyone’s car trailing to the house i’m at, hanzel and gretel style. [text] Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again. [text] nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs [text] When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar. [text] kinda considering buying a life alert for sophomore year [text] My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something. [text] Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex. [text] you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing ‘follow the yellowbrick road’. i’m pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted [text] It’s like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job. [text] did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes? [text] The world would be so much better with thought bubbles. [text] I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy! [text] You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen. [text] I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter. [text] So I woke up today with someone’s door knob in my pocket. I hope everybody else got out of the house ok. [text] So we successfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know. [text] Because when I say ‘You shouldn’t drink anymore’, she hears, ‘I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks’ [text] okay, this game isn’t funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are. [text] The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing. [text] when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed [text] so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat. [text] You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone [text] never. drinking. again. [text] I’m gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see. [text] got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night [text] I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now [text] i’m out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction. [text] Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
𝐀𝐋𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐂 𝐒𝐀𝐋𝐓𝐙𝐌𝐀𝐍 𝐏𝐒𝐘𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐋 𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓
* 𝙳𝙾 𝙽𝙾𝚃 𝚁𝙴𝙱𝙻𝙾𝙶