Why can't I just say I Love You?
Relationship: Zenon x Reader
Tag: @bowandcurtsey [ I'm sorry if this take a really long time...at first i want to make this as a one-shot but this is way to long so please do wait for part 2]
Summary: You loved him. You wish you didn't but at the same time you're glad you did.
You loved Zenon, you really did. But... You just couldn't bring yourself to tell him that, why? Scared that it would ruin your friendship. Your were there for him even when his best friend Allen died, you were there for him for everything and had comforted him but yet...
How long has it been since you've been crushing on him? Is it a year? Three? Four? You don't know, you really don't know since when you've been crushing on him, you don't even know when and how this warm and comforting feelings manage to sneaks it's way onto your heart.
You continue to hide this feelings, you wish you could just tell him that you love him everytime you met him. Everytime you see him your heart, your chest feels like its blooming like a flower, blooming full of colors, blooming with pride. You're heart raced everytime you see the sight of him. You feel your cheeks heats up whenever you're thinking of him or whenever you two are alone.
You don't lie when you say you were reckless, so reckless that you yourself brought your own end by your own selfish choise. But is it selfish? Selfish that you don't want to confess to him? To the man that you loved with your whole entire heart better than your own life?
Slowly it keeps getting a bit harder for you to breath everyday , you don't know the reason why... It feels like as if a thorn in scratching and ripping your throat open.
You walk carefully to your bathroom, you looked at your messy reflection on the miror.
You started to cough petals...
As the coughing gradually becomes worse you smilled and thought 'how tragic the man i loved with my whole heart is the reason why I'm dying' as you lightly scoffed to yourself how pitiful your life is.
You carefully leaned your back against the bathroom wall and sigh why are you so scared to confess to him? Scared? Scared of being rejected? Scared of losing your friendship? Scared by the fact that he doesn't like you back?
Time really does flows fast huh? The petals that you cough slowly little by little turn into a full bloom flower. The first full bloom flowers that you cough out really looks beautiful, beautiful but yet deadly.
"Y/N, just what are you doing?" Zenon said, giving you his usual icy gaze.
"Oh? Me nothing i just found this flower and petals they look lonely... and decide to burry them so they'll bloom and won't feel lonely anymore... It's quite stupid isn't it?" you quietly say at the end and trying to cover the bloodied flower.
"There's no use, they won't survive the cold." with that he walks away.
"yeah you're right..." You say while looking at the bloodied flowers and petals.
You don't know what happened but all of a sudden the coughing became worse than before you keep vomiting flowers...
"You're taking quite a long time there." He glace at you with stoic face.
"You think so...?" You chuckle lightly. You feel a familiar pain, your throat feels like its burning you felt your gets stuck in your throat trying not to cough in front of him.
Think fast! You're trying to find an excuse to leave before he sees your vomiting flowers "I'm a little...busy so I'm gonna go first. See you later." with that saying you dashed to an alleyway and cough 'My fate is quite cruel isn't it Zenon?' you let out a shaky but full of sorrow sigh
You try to visit the doctor only to realize that the roots has spread all over your lungs and there's no other way other than gaining his love or dying... It was an impossible choice to make... You really don't want to die but at the same time you can't gain his love you.