요아께 @alba-lyon - Tumblr Blog

breeze

I would like to see myself through my eyes and my eyes only stop putting on someone else’s filters comparing goals and achievements

I would like to stop caring at all maybe I did that long ago sometimes I think it’s the other way round that i care too much to even stay on my own ground

sometimes I think I am not made for this world that everything is too much for this little heart of mine am i really not that strong? will i ever find some peace some peace of mind?

there is a knot in my chest that screams at night that not even I know how to fight if only I could find a way to to put the odds back in my favour

I would like to see me clearly understand what it’s in me to finally achieve whatever I came here to achieve

but sometimes I think I am not made for this world that everything is too much for this little heart of mine am i really not that strong? will i ever find some peace of mind?

a.l. - 2020

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s(e)oulful

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let me tell you a story

let me tell you a story about something that could have been, but never was; and will never be. a story about rushed and bad decisions, fears, miscalculations, and mostly, bad timing. or that's what i like to tell myself: bad timing. that's the easiest way to put it. right? always blame time or context. whatever. it's not a story about a broken heart. it's not the heart that is broken. is the hopes and dreams, the what ifs and the what if we didnts. the dead excitement. the feeling of something new that became old way too soon. it's more about seeing what you have let go, what you lost; in front of your eyes. and not being able to do a single thing about it. rather than a story about crying for what it was. cause it never really was. there was never a story. was there? it's all about seeing how it is now, and knowing that this is how it has to be, how it should be. seeing you smile because of it. and knowing that it's for good. I wouldn’t call it a heart break. id say it's something more like a reality slap in the fucking face. i don’t know if there was ever really a story to tell. id like to think that yes, there was something huge there, but it was just misplaced in time and space and we will never know what could have come out of it.

- a.l. 2018

#mywords #personal

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