a seasonal rambling

Bits and pieces of this and that here and there

[alectrona19-blog]

On sympathy.

It has been hard these past few days. An artist whom I love deeply (in past, present, and future tense) passed away. It still feels unreal but I’ve learned to accept and let go. He is loved by many, which then only makes sense that his passing received global attention, not only for k-pop listeners but also the general public.

The responses varied -- some highlighted his stellar achievement as an artist, some discussed deeper on mental health and the increasing urgency to properly understand and treat it, and sadly, some chose to be inhumane and belittle his passing simply because he is part of a community that the writers do not share the same interests with. Yes, I am talking about a number of people that demean this tragedy simply because he is a “kpop artist”, rendering him a person of lesser importance and undeserving of sympathy. Because “kpop” is such a hazardous realm to venture in!

If you are not in the know, let’s just say some vile-mouthed people make fun of mourners and scold their grieving because he is 1) physically not apt to their standards of beauty 2) not based in their country 3) of a different faith 4) a part of the heavily (negatively) stigmatized k-pop world.

Silly, don’t you think?

It is silly for me, and at the same time infuriating. It’s discriminating, disrespectful, demeaning. As if one interest or one taste is superior to others.

If death is not enough of a wake-up call for them -- that at the end of the day, we are all the same flesh and blood, skin and bone, eventually decaying underground or burn into ashes -- what else is?

There is nothing good that comes out of making fun of someone else's tragedy -- a little self satisfaction and a handful of RTs (brand engagement, I guess?), maybe, at the cost of sinning (if they care about faith so much, they must have already known that mocking others is not God’s favored action, don’t they?), upsetting other people, and in extreme cases, potential litigation.

Moreover, what is being asked is not something grand and challenging -- they are not asked to donate some of their wealth for condolence money or purchase their kpop album (that they despise so much, despite it being just the same as any other music or pop culture merchandise), it’s simply compassion and... common sense? Mourners are simply expecting you to be humane. Back to your senses and be humane.

Mourners are also dismissed because he is someone that “you don’t know personally”, and that he is "just a guy that doesn’t even know you exist” -- meaning he is not worth the tears and gloom, correct? Mourners are dictated on how we’re supposed to feel, and how there are groups of people more deserving of our tears. In a case of awful analogy that they offered, they shouted that mourners should, in fact, mourn more for the children of Palestine and victims of natural disasters nearby. These vile-mouthed people, do you also know these children personally? Probably no, but you are still able to sympathize for them and their suffering (which, by the way, I am sure the mourners also sympathize for these children and victims. Which, for your information, I sympathize very deeply, too. It’s not like we have to choose to only mourn for one entity and forget the rest). And really, that’s all the same and that’s all we ask. Sympathy.

Is it so hard to give? Or is the amount of love and sympathy you have in your heart so little, so limited that you are highly selective of the people you sympathize to, fearing of running out of love and sympathy?

If that’s the case, I pray that your heart be enlarged, that you receive more love from people, so that at the end of the day, you can have more love to share to others.

I am lucky enough to have received love from my “shameful and disgraced” community (thank you, dear friends, that have checked up on me, offered me a place to vent out and cry, that have become a supportive circle for each other --you know who you are) that I am able to extend to others in return.

(I am also lucky to have my days be filled with joy and happiness from the late artist himself, Jonghyun, that I am able to share to others, and hopefully, in some magical way, to him and the other four shining members too. I love you, guys!)

We’re here in this world for just a brief period of time. Make it worthwhile.

[alectrona19-blog]

That lanky guy.

I thought he was just a pretty boy. One of those pretty rappers, you know? The type that those agencies know will attract a flock of fangirls, and since rap is the (relatively) “easiest” to learn, et voila.

I’ve seen him floating around here and there, sometimes with glasses, sometimes not. One time with the police costume, one time with a black jacket in Sydney. Awn, a cute boy, I thought. Nice deep voice too, I thought.

Apparently, I was underestimating what this feeble looking guy is capable of doing to me.

I can’t quite put them into words- how he attracts me. It’s just a mixture of many little things -- his poor eyesight, his scrunched nose when he laugh, his lanky figure (VERY lanky, unbelievably skinny), the deep voice, his love for books, the random thoughts, his ideal type (a cat. or a girl who reads outdoor.), his sweater paws... I can continue on and on but I’ll vomit on my keyboard before reaching the first half of the 1,000-words long essay.

Isn’t it quite fascinating how the chemicals in our brains work? How upon looking at some photos, a trope of dopamine is dancing within your bloodstreams? How hearing his voice in certain songs makes your lips curl up involuntarily?

Of course he is not without flaws; his seemingly unapproachable impression when you first see him, that is also visible during live broadcasts or interviews sometimes. Perhaps like many of us, sometimes he got carried away with the jokes and banters, unknowingly putting someone in an awkward position.

There’s also this side of him that you can’t help but wonder does he feel lonely? Is something burdening him?

Contrary to my prejudice that he’s just a factory-made pretty-boy rapper, the guy’s actually quite good at it! I genuinely (and objectively as I listened to this before I liked him) enjoy his rap in their mixtapes, and the guy can sing. He’s not the top of the class, but, he can sing (later on I would find out that he apparently trained as a vocalist? cute.)

Lately I’m also convinced (well, more like I’d like to convince myself) that he’s an avid National Geographic enthusiast: he wants to go to Alaska for God’s sake! I lost count on how many survival shows NGC shot in Alaska or the wild North! He likes space, he wants to wake up next to a forest (!!!!!!!), wants to go to the deep sea (cue James Cameron’s Deep Sea Challenger), wants to be a zookeeper (cue EVERY NatGeo Wild shows), wants to travel the world, is currently interested in humanities, loves history.

(um. okay I need to stop. point is, the kid would love National Geographic.)

There are many, many more sides to him than a tsundere, or an uninterested, unfazed emo kid (or the worst of them all, just a half of a ship) which I keep on discovering -- and the more I find them, the more infatuated I become to him.

Thank you for being such a bright sunshine and a gentle moon for the past month and a half, Jeon Wonwoo!

[alectrona19-blog]

All aboard the pearl aqua ocean: on staying.

Wouldn’t it be less fun to like a group 9 years already into their career?

That’s among the first thoughts I had in mind when I put interest into SHINee. I worry that I will not be able to be emotionally invested in them or feel the emotional connection as I’ve missed the bulk of their activities already -- I wasn’t there when they won the Daesang and cried their heart out, I didn’t walk nor cry together with them during their down moments, I didn’t get to feel the goosebumps seeing their first Dome concert.

I’ve understood that they had humble beginnings: the stardom wasn’t made overnight. It was made with hardwork (the single most admirable thing from the kpop world, often overlooked by the shallow hatred fueled by fandom divisiveness and thoughtless criticism on appearance and what’s on face value), perhaps blood, sweat, and tears in its most literal sense. It was made with struggle.

Again, it took me by surprise how despite not being with them through their most shining moments, I am still moved seeing their developments through the year. I knew them when they’re already successful, known as a group with extraordinary live singing skills and on-point dance performances.

Browsing through their old videos, I realized how much they have matured;

Taemin, whose singing has improved so much: from barely having lines in the older songs, to be able to release three mini albums of his own (and rocking them along with unbelievably complex dance moves)! No longer out of breath and slightly out-of-tune, he’s able to confidently sing, harmonise, and putting ad-libs here and there. The doted member of the group whose on- and off-stage charms are completely the opposite! Who would have thought the Danger oppa and The K-Pop Dude is just a playful boy who covers his chest not wanting to be exposed backstage and in Hit The Stage rehearsal despite flaunting that low-cut shirt and blazer in many performances? (Whose hobby also happen to be losing stuffs). It’s simply adorable, for the lack of more fitting word, to see how he has grown and matured over the years. His art of dancing is purely blissful-- elegant yet not exaggerated, flowing yet not flamboyant, smooth yet strong. I wish he will be able to be showcase his dance even more and fulfill his dreams to be known as a dancer, not just an idol/singer who’s really good at dancing.

Perhaps I’m being a bit biased when I say they really have nice songs. I tend to just look at a group’s title tracks first before going through the entire album as the b-tracks are usually dismal. Not with SHINee. They have such a unique combination of vocals: honey-like, theatrical, strong, sultry, and what-nots. In K-Pop, I often find that an idol’s singing ability shied away by the flashier dance moves and catchy pop tunes. It pleases me how SHINee had released such a wide range of concepts and music (and rocking them!), enabling them to show their musical versatility. One thing I’ve noticed from them is their ability to harmonise and pulled off tons of ad-libs in live singing (cue: Like a Fire, the harmonisation in many songs ending in the 1and1 repackaged album), proving that they are indeed musically talented and not just memorizing their pre-assigned notes and lines. Again, this skill doesn’t come overnight -- all members’ singing have developed through the years, including the vocal powerhouse that is Kim Jonghyun.

Speaking of Jonghyun, another thing I’ve come to admire from Jonghyun is how much of a lyrical genius he is! (His songwriting skills are also to be commended, but due to my lack of musical knowledge, I would refrain from going into more details). In my own honest opinion, many kpop songs have cringe-worthy lyrics (of confessing to a first love, or not-so-subtle sexual innuendos, and swag) hence shying me away from looking at the lyrics’ translation lest I’ll have skewed judgments over the song and the group in general -- however, SHINee’s lyrics are something I’m keen to look for. With an honorable mention, hats-off for the lyrics of View, playing on senses and synesthesia to describe one’s love and desire, many of Jonghyun-written lyrics brought a different perspective to kpop lyrics for me. He is able to write lyrics that are sensual and sultry but not brazen, beautifully sewing figures of speech and wordplay to his lyrics without it being too far-fetched and beating around the bush. After being informed of his love for books, awareness of social issues, him having written a book (!!) himself, it all made sense on how he’s able to blend literary art into his music.

One might argue that their everchanging concepts are too “forced” to the point that the agency just takes whatever is on trend and quirky, and give it to SHINee -- and I wouldn’t argue against it as one is entitled to their own opinion. What I’d like to point out instead is how they’re able to be confident and own the concept, showing their fluidity. My favorite concept is still Odd (and perhaps Married to the Music, if only Key didn’t have the broccoli hair (I still love you, though)) because it sums up who they are: Odd. Some groups might only be able to stick to a certain concept: badass, villainy, and bad boy at one end of the spectrum, and cute, innocent school-boy at the other end. Throughout the years (despite the fact that they, like us and other people on the planet, age), they were able to show that they can be put in whichever side of the spectrum. Their energetic and boyish charisma is magically(!) able to be retained even in their ninth year! At the same time, they’re able to radiate their experienced and seasoned idol aura, and their playful charms. It’s as if they’re a group that is still hungry for more learning and not be complacent of what they’ve become, yet at the same time not taking lightly what they’ve achieved.

SHINee surely is a group full of warm and exciting surprises. The above reasons are just some of the reasons why I love them and what made me decide to stay with them for now, and hopefully until later when they will blossom even more.

They might already be a long way into their career, but I believe that the future still has a lot to offer for them, both as a group and individually. It’s not the end of the road just yet. As the Korean saying goes, let’s continue to walk on the flowery path, SHINee!

[alectrona19-blog]

All aboard the pearl aqua ocean: an introduction.

As with my other k-pop adventures: I didn’t see this coming.

I’ve heard about SHINee (who hasn’t?) from ages ago -- my first encounter was through Ring Ding Dong in a karaoke session with my high school friends where then, I deemed the song annoying and the hairstyle ridiculous, but ended up remembering the entire song for years despite of having only heard it once (so much for a song banned before exams for this very reason) -- but I have never really put attention to them.

It was only after 1of1 did I have great interests in them. I loved the album, the concept, the outfits! Having known that they’re variety legends (or in the internet language: variety kings and such extra idols), I watched their Weekly Idol and got completely hooked to them. Long story short, after a series of impulsiveness and self-justification, I decided to watch their concert and caught up to 9 years worth of music(!!!) within three weeks! I honestly think it’s fated by the k-pop gods that they just had to come to Jakarta when I decided to start liking them.

Telling the news of me going to their concert to my internet friends resulted in an unanimous response: “oh you’ll definitely not regret it. It’s SHINee after all! They will not disappoint.”

And oh boy, they definitely didn’t.

It was a full-throttled, hard crash landing on the pearl aqua ocean. Despite not knowing many of the songs played in the concert, I was able to enjoy the concert thoroughly! Their dancing blew me away, and they sang live (I’ve always thought it’s impossible for someone to dance that strenuously and sing at the same time).

After that fated concert, I went on a full fangirl mode and tried to catch up 9-years worth of activities and music. Obviously a month and a half later I still haven’t finished the daunting task -- yet, I’m already so in love, inspired, and touched by them.

I can only imagine how it must’ve felt for the fans who have been with them since debut days, to see them matured and developed both musically and personally. It’s regretful that I am not able to be part of such fans, but I don’t regret being their fans no matter how late I am into them.

This post is for many more days (hopefully, years!) with SHINee. Cheers and I’ll be rooting for you!

P.S.: it’s also destiny that my favorite color happens to be your fandom color, boys.

[markleeder]

im sorry but jaemin’s gummy smile looks way too much like yuta’s, even his eyes crinkle the same way and there’s hansol’s nose on him, the same shape of face and the same AB blood type, not to forget the incredible amount of photos with only 3 of them in the frame and suddenly i am very very suspicious

[nct-rain]

Yuta x Hansol

[chillsicheng]

Everything about this video fucks me up !!!

© seraph_1121