Aleshia's Outrageous Claims & Bad Ideas

Also, unpopular opinions.

[aleshiasbadideas]

¿Qué pasa...with learning foreign languages?

UNPOPULAR OPINION: Colleges aren't off-base when they ask for four years of foreign language study.

So, I just heard something disgusting on the radio:

"What's the language in America? Last I checked, it's English!"

Increasingly, the nation's top universities ask for four years of a foreign language in high school. As a former admissions professional who has lived overseas, I think this requirement may be demanding, but the general attitude that Americans don't need to learn another language is ridiculous.

I took three years of Spanish in high school, and it has aided me tremendously both in the US and abroad. Good foreign language education isn't just about memorizing vocabulary lists and conjugating verbs; it's about understanding cultural differences and adopting a less egocentric world view.

The reality is that American students aren't winning any Best in Show contests in the global marketplace. According to a Harvard study, the nation's graduating class in 2011 had a 32 percent proficiency rate in math and 31 percent in reading (ranking #31 and #16 on the lists respectively). No (graded) objective testing takes place in the American public school system, and if you're a nice kid who tries hard (or pretends to) you can come away from high school, with an A-minus in AP Calculus but without actually knowing anything about it. (True autobiographical fact.) But that's an education system shortcoming for another day.

Intelligence may not breed curiosity, but it stands to reason that top  universities would prefer students who are actively interested in exploring our world, learning about its people and studying their traditions. Likewise, curiosity may not breed progress, but it certainly breeds tolerance, which makes for a student body that is accepting of individual differences. (And, from a marketing standpoint, a foreign language requirement might make the university more attractive for foreign exchange students.)

There has also been some talk about requiring study abroad at the college level, which I also support. In an increasingly global information age, experience living overseas (even for only a few months) is invaluable.

[aleshiasbadideas]

Low Vision ≠ Low IQ

Outrageous claim: I may be going blind, but I’m not a moron.

I’m in the middle of a heated debate with the leaders of a support group for people with retinitis pigmentosa. I was diagnosed with RP at age 13 and have been riding the line of legal blindness for about ten years.

Quick background: RP is a degenerative eye disease that causes light and color receptors in the retina (rods and cones) to die. It starts at the outside of the retina, so it affects peripheral and low-light vision in early stages. The result of this is severe tunnel vision, which manifests (at least in my case) as clumsiness and/or rudeness. (I’ve unknowingly snubbed many a handshake in my time.) Later stages bring about waterlogging in the retina, which blurs central vision. Progression of both of these eventually leads to total blindness, though the rate of progression varies from person to person. There is no cure.

The group in question recently posted an article on their blog about how to sign up for Twitter, which was the catalyst for this debate. The article makes no mention of RP (i.e., how to use social media to connect with organizations involved with RP or other RP patients). It is literally a Twitter instruction manual. I have been known to be sensitive about certain topics, especially where RP is involved, but I found the inclusion of this article on the group’s blog condescending and offensive.

I recently heard a story on NPR about Katherine Bouton, who discussed the effects of spontaneous deafness in one ear. She authors a book called Shouting Won’t Help, and it really struck a chord with me. When someone has RP, it’s not always obvious, which has pros and cons. On one hand, an RP patient may be met with situations that make them appear clumsy, rude, drunk and/or stupid, such as these things that have happened to me:

Tripping over an unsupervised toddler at the movie theatre and dropping a jumbo tub of popcorn

Failing as a floor hockey goalie when the opposite goalie threw the ball across the gym in my direction and scored

Appearing to ignore a new acquaintance, who held his hand up to high-five me in a poorly lit establishment

Routinely knocking over full glasses of wine/pop/water at restaurants

In broad daylight, falling off the curb and onto the street while walking with a new romantic partner

The upside is that I have learned from these things and can take necessary precautions. Just as a person with hearing loss might face away from light sources so that they are better able to lip read, I can make sure I’m walking on the inside of the sidewalk and put my drink in the same place every time I sit down so that I know where it is. The fact that I can’t see well isn’t outwardly apparent to most people, so I get to choose who I tell and when. I’m not nearly as scared of losing my vision as I am about how I will be treated when it becomes obvious to the world that I am blind.

Maybe not all people suffering from vision loss feel this, but I want to maintain as much independence as possible for as long as possible. I might not be a good choice for the dodgeball team, but I can certainly figure out how to sign up for social networking sites myself. The fact that this is being featured on a blog for the RP community sends a message that members must not be smart enough to figure even the simplest things out for themselves. It assumes that RP patients are technology challenged and incapable of logical thinking. They might as well have posted an article about how to tie your shoe.

The author asserts that the article is relevant because another member asked about how to use Twitter, and if the information is useful for one, then others might find it useful as well. This may be true; however, I argue that, even if this is the case, there are FAR better resources available to help people use Twitter. It’s a support group, not a tech blog.

I was a member of an RP support group in London and only went to one event. I was 23 at the time and was the most junior attendee by at least 20 years. It was terrifying to meet a coffee shop full of people wearing sunglasses who had white canes and seeing eye dogs. I kept thinking, “This is my future. This is what’s going to happen to me.”

I was hoping that some people my age — I know they’re out there — would show up and be able to share the concerns that I had. When is the best time to tell new boyfriends that I have RP? Is it worth starting cane training now? When should I stop driving? Which bars and clubs have good lighting, so that I can enjoy nights out with my friends? This is what I’d like from a support group.

In my mind, an RP blog that explains how to enter your email address into a web form is akin to being in the coffee shop for that first and only support group meeting. I want to belong to a support group that I feel comfortable identifying with. The difference is that I simply wasn’t at a stage that allowed me to identify with the group in London.

One of the responsibilities of a support group is to accurately represent its members. I have a lot of trouble identifying with a group that presents me as an idiot.

[aleshiasbadideas]

OUTRAGEOUS CLAIM: My wedding was the best wedding ever.

Wooden doll Aleshia & Max. Like great wine, made in Argentina. The artist normally omits eyebrows on the girls (as pictured), but I thought I looked a little Voldemort-esque, so she added them to the finished product. Good stuff! Looked great on top of our cake, plus now we will always know who is who in games of Sorry.

[aleshiasbadideas]

I'm a psycho, baby. So why don't you test me?

This weekend, on the way to a giant arcade (long story), I asked myself the question that all brilliant and tragically fabulous people eventually ask themselves: What is wrong with my landlord? Fortune smiled, for at that very moment, NPR aired a piece about the PCL-R, a checklist used to assess psychopathy. The checklist features 20 traits commonly found in psychopaths and is scored out of 40. Where a trait exists in an individual, a score of 2 is awarded; where a trait does not exist, a score of 0; and if it is not certain whether a trait exists, a score of 1. Any individual with a total score of 30 or higher is considered a psychopath. Said traits under consideration are, of course: 1. Glibness/superficial charm Upon receiving a phone call from a prospective tenant, you launch into a speech, seemingly pre-rehearsed, about how you are a retired lawyer. The tenant now perceives you as upstanding and sincere. Ha! Fooled her! SCORE: 2 2. Grandiose sense of self-worth You offer to lend tenant furniture. She says that she has furniture aplenty but says that a microwave and a bed frame would be a huge help. Both are filthy upon lending and the microwave is filled with black mold (and the LCD display is categorically fucked). You bring this up in later conversations, as though this is the most selfless act ever performed. SCORE: 2 3. Need for stimulation/proneness to boredom Since retiring, you have nothing better to do than sue everyone for dubious reasons, including the woman who owned the store downstairs for not managing the property properly, even though you do not know the street address of the property or the utility providers. SCORE: 2 4. Pathological lying A prospective tenant asks if you would please test major appliances prior to move-in to make sure that they work. You tell her that you have done so, even though the gas, water and electricity have not been turned on, thereby making this task exceedingly difficult. SCORE: 2 5. Cunning/manipulative nature There is another tenant interested in the unit next door. He's a painter and handyman! Jackpot! Instead of fixing up his property, you leave it for him to do while also working full-time third shift, going through a divorce, trying to spend time with his teenage son, and fixing existing problems with the first property. He's too nice to say anything, so everyone wins! SCORE: 2 6. Lack of remorse or guilt You fail to clean the apartment before the tenant moves in, though this is standard procedure and would generally be expected by a new tenant. You say that since the tenant did not specifically ask for the property to be cleaned, that it is not your responsibility, then bring up the fact that you are practically a saint for providing the dirty bed frame and microwave. SCORE: 2 7. Shallow affect (genuine emotion is short-lived and egocentric) No genuine emotion, other than disdain for the woman living downstairs, has ever been displayed. SCORE: 1 8. Callousness/lack of empathy Who cares if the tenants don't have laundry for two months? You have your rent payment! SCORE: 2 9. Failure to take responsibility for own actions Uh oh! The tenant's first rent payment didn't go through on time! Why? Because the bank details you provided were incorrect. The tenant contacts you immediately to rectify this, yet you tell her in writing that you are annoyed that the rent was late "for reasons you are not privy to." Those reasons, of course, are rooted in your own incompetence. SCORE: 2 10. Parasitic lifestyle SCORE: 1 11. Poor behavioral controls When asked a direct question, you mumble and walk out of the room. SCORE: 2 12. Promiscuous Though your gut and repellant personality suggest this is an impossibility, we cannot be sure. SCORE: 1 13. Early behavioral problems SCORE: 1 14. Lack of realistic, long-term goals Sadly, since you did have a career, albeit shady, it would appear that you have realistic, long-term goals. Too bad that they involve being an asshole. SCORE: 0 15. Impulsivity Though standard agreements cite that you should give tenants 48 hours' notice before visiting the property, you call tenants 15 minutes prior to your arrival (without any regard for their plans) during which your employees are unable to complete any work because they do not have the correct parts or materials, provided by you. SCORE: 2 16. Irresponsibility Everyone that the tenants talk to in town knows who you are and can recount various instances that you provided legal council to knowingly guilty parties, presumably so that you could then hire them to do maintenance jobs that they fail to complete. SCORE: 2 17. Juvenile delinquency SCORE: 1 18. Revocation of conditional release SCORE: 1 19. Many short-term marital relationships I can only imagine that any woman willing to legally bind herself to you would quickly exhibit symptoms of Bullet Through Face Syndrome. SCORE: 1 20. Criminal versatility SCORE: 1 Landlord's diagnosis (a good solid 30) aside, I wonder whether all people exhibit at least some sign of psychopathy and whether a small degree of psychopathy is necessary in order to achieve high levels of professional/personal success.

[aleshiasbadideas]

One wall of Klassic Arcade in Gobles, Michigan. A pop and pinball oasis.

[aleshiasbadideas]

Have you ever told a lie?

Final question on the Wal-Mart job application I completed in the summer of 2000 (which was basically a true-or-false quiz about whether stealing is okay). I would be interested to know what percentage of applicants answered "no" and what percentage of those were employed.

[aleshiasbadideas]

Judgy Wudgy was an Employer

BAD IDEA: Moving back to Michigan to seek employment during an economic recession with considerable work experience, education and transferrable skills. Today, in another exciting episode of the Fruitless Job Search Chronicles, I came across a job posting for an administrative assistant. In the past I have held many similar roles and — listen very carefully, because I am about to divulge a coveted secret — OFFICE ADMINISTRATION IS NOT ROCKET SCIENCE. However, these jobs are still unobtainable, as preference is seemingly given to those who have 50 years of identical experience and/or alien beings who can rake in more money for the company by also serving as tourist attractions. This particular job posting featured a further hurdle which we shall call Standards of Appropriate Conduct in Employees’ Personal Lives. (It should be noted that the employer in question is a private Christian organization, in case it isn’t abundantly clear.) THIS BUSINESS is committed to staffing the BUSINESS community with highly qualified and deeply committed followers of Jesus. As such the BUSINESS recognizes the importance of giving its employees the freedom to live their lives in the context of the Spirit’s leading within the clear guidelines of Scripture. Within this context of Christian freedom, however, the University establishes the following expectations for its employees. Some of these expectations, such as church participation and the avoidance of immorality, are rooted in Scripture. Other expectations are established for prudential reasons. 1. Actively participate in a local Protestant evangelical church. 2. Live and work in a way that honors Christ and His Word in regard to honesty and integrity in all endeavors, avoiding behaviors clearly prohibited in Scripture such as drunkenness, immoral sexual behavior (adultery, fornication, pornography and homosexuality), lying, and stealing. 3. Steward that which God has entrusted by refraining from forms of gambling that could prove addictive and frequenting establishments that are primarily dedicated to the enterprise of gambling. 4. Support the University’s commitment to maintaining an alcohol-free and tobacco-free campus. This means that the consumption of alcohol or use of tobacco will be prohibited in, on, or around all campus properties and at University events. In addition, BUSINESS employees shall refrain from consuming alcohol or using tobacco in situations in which students are present. Finally, due to the personal and public health hazards posed by tobacco, employees shall avoid the habitual use of tobacco. Failure to comply with such standards may result in disciplinary action up to and including termination of employment. So, in addition to not being able to file telekinetically or heal cuts with a glowing finger, what I do (or more glaringly, do NOT do) with my personal time outside of the workplace can also diminish my employment opportunities? Super. The application form also called for me to state whether I was a Christian; if not, to explain my reservations; and to describe my Christian journey in a text box. No text box was provided for me to describe my qualifications for the job. I am not anti-church or anti-God. I do not reject the possibility that a higher power exists. But does the fact that I don’t think everything printed in the Bible is true and that I don’t believe Jesus is the son of God make me a less desirable employee? How can it be legal, even for private organizations, to discriminate based on church attendance and fundamental beliefs? And how can said discrimination be deemed acceptable Christian behavior? What this organization is effectively doing is creating a veritable biodome of lemmings so that none of their staff or customers will ever have to demonstrate tolerance or experience diversity. Also, they are getting my goat. In the interest of curiosity, I submitted my application. I did not lie whatsoever about my religious beliefs (though I did not delve into them in great depth). Let’s see what happens! The mothership will find it very interesting, I’m sure.