Fanart for @pitviperofdoom‘s fic Yesterday Upon The Stairs. It’s such an amazing fic and I love it and her other works as well to bits! I had to draw this scene from the latest chapter and I hope I have time to draw more! I simply love Pit’s works and want to shower them with love.
I wanted to make the ghosts look a bit trasnparent/faded looking for this so it would be easier to tell the living and the dead apart
I don't have the time to go in depth but the discourse about Varka's writing being misogynistic is the most inane drivel I've seen in a long time. Beyond even that though, I think that a lot of people are not seeing this debate for what it actually is: A complete failure to decouple characters in a narrative from the viewer's own modern perspectives and ethics.
"Varka not going into the Traveler's room if you're playing as Lumine is part of patriarchal tradition that implies women need to be treated different."
Yes, this is because he's a knight from a culture based around feudal Germany where chivalric codes were the primary tool used to show respect for women.
"He dumped all his work on a woman and went off to win glory!"
(This isn't even accurate but whatever.) Sure, yes, this is because Varka is modeled on archetypes of wandering heroes whose destined journeys take them far from their homeland not often just to win glory but to do a duty which only they can do. He's Roland at Roncesvalles, Perceval seeking the Grail, Beowulf protecting the Danes--the entire historical weight of Varka's character comes from being a man who can lead in battle but who is uniquely unsuited to stay in one place and serve as a practical peacetime leader to his people. Ignoring the entire archetype of the knight-errant to argue about his writing based solely on ethics from the 21st century is like saying we shouldn't enjoy ancient Greek tragedy because none of the Greek playwrights were feminists.
Frankly, I see this all the time with my students of literature, and it's actually a sign of a very scary trend. Modern students struggle massively to sympathize with or just understand the behaviors of characters from ancient and classic works because many under-read young people fail to conceptualize of characters as having separate perspectives from their own. Rather than being able to understand characters as unique entities, hallmarks of their own time periods (or the periods they're meant to represent), or as having their own wildly different cultural contexts with little connection to modern morals or gender politics, many younger readers can only project themselves and their own current-day ethical perspectives on to the characters in the narrative.
All stories and characters are being judged as if they were real people living in our modern day, with our modern morals.
This underscores a dangerous lack of ability to conceptualize of alternative contexts as well as a lack of any ability to empathize with the "Other," butttt I don't have time to go any farther into this, so just... begging people to get a little more educated before opening their mouths. 😂
If you don't have at least foundational knowledge of the cultural and ideological contexts inspiring a particular character, you are genuinely not qualified to engage in discourse about that character.
I was sitting in my trusty spot yesterday, preparing to write a comparison between how gaslighting looks when viewed from the macro and the micro levels. While I was contemplating the introduction, something outside of my door caught my eye. As it happened, a small brown bird which looked like a brown thrasher had flown into the house through an open window.
I set aside my computer and tasked myself with releasing it back into the wild. My only tools were a towel and my good intentions. Unfortunately, with my shoulder still operating under limited mobility, I was unable to toss the towel upwards to where the bird was landing: On the top of the bookshelves, the chandelier, the curtain rods, etc.
It was not cooperating at all.
To add to the drama, I enlisted the assistance of my youngest daughter. In any other situation, Youngest would have been of great assistance, but when it involved birds, she was, well, not.
Years ago, when Youngest was but a wee lass (about seven), we took a family trip to the beach. We had spent an entire day laying by the ocean, reading books, laughing, swimming, etc. The beach in question had a healthy seagull population, so I also spent much of the day feeding the gulls scraps of food.
I can only imagine what it looked like to others- an otherwise serene location amidst white sand and salty air as the waves whooshed along the shore. And in this midst of this serenity sat a pleasantly plump yet still adorable white woman surrounded by hoards of seagulls vying for the next scrap while screeching like the birds from Finding Nemo, “Mine! Mine!”
Anyway, for dinner, we brought a pizza to our spot and dined with the seagulls. Afterwards, I asked Youngest to throw the pizza box in the trashcan located about 250 ft. from where we sat. As she walked towards the trashcan, the gulls followed along, squawking loudly in their pursuit. When Youngest looked behind her and saw what was happening, she took off running, which only made the seagulls pursue her faster.
I can still hear the screams echoing down the beach as Youngest tried to escape the madness. She had thrown the pizza box at the trashcan and took off running the other way, only to have the gulls remain undeterred in their pursuit of her. It was just like a scene from Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds, and the only thing that would have made the moment more memorable would have been if a Norman Bates look-alike had been standing near the trash. Hubby and I, being the great parents that we were, couldn’t stop laughing as he attempted to capture the moment on video so we could one day replay it at her wedding.
She still has scars to this day. We still laugh about it, too.
Perhaps you can understand why asking Youngest for assistance to remove a small brown bird from the abode may have not been the best idea I have had of late.
I had managed to trap the bird in the den and had opened a set of French doors so the bird could simply fly outside. My daughter’s only job was to stand in the archway of the den and wave a towel like mad to prevent the bird from escaping back into the open area, thus making it impossible to catch. I ran around the den, tossing my own towel on top of the shelves, the rods, etc. while the bird mocked my efforts.
This dance went on forever, or about fifteen minutes, depending on the space-time continuum.
The good news is that I was finally able to capture the bird and release it. The bad news is the experience only added to the trauma my daughter associated with what she called “winged beasts.” For when I turned to see if she was blocking the doorway, she was gone, having aborted the mission while running full speed down the stairs towards her room while yelling, “I can’t do it! I can’t do it!” The only thing that would have made yesterday more memorable was if a group of seagulls had been chasing behind her, all while yelling “Mine!”
So. Yanqing. When we first meet him, he's a sword-obsessed, semi-cocky kid who's got an appetite for victory and a sizeable ego - for good reason. When first encountered, he hasn't tasted real defeat before - there's been only victories in battle. He's been heralded as a sword genius from the moment he picked it up.
There is so much more to his character than simply 'a guy who got his ass handed to him and couldn't take the defeat,' and this is why.
Yanqing is prideful. And he's got a reason to be - he's grown up with his peers always telling him that he's a genius at swords. Growing up, being a swordmaster was not something only that he wanted for himself, but was something that others wanted for him, too. It's true that swords are his passion, but due to his inherent talent, the expectations set for Yanqing have always been high.
What happens when you've got high expectations from others, and even higher expectations from yourself?
Expectations are healthy, of course. You can't stay stagnant. And Yanqing loves what he does - I fully believe that wielding the sword is a passion - his first love. However, you can still love something and feel pressured by it.
I just simply can't look at a prodigy and say that they haven't been under stress. Yanqing has put himself under stress - he's set these goals for himself, these lofty dreams that he thinks he'll be able to achieve relatively soon. He's based his entire identity, his entire ego, his self-esteem - all of it, on how well he can wield the sword.
To Yanqing, the sword is an extension of himself. Victory in battle is what determines if he is worthy or not.
You have to understand that Yanqing's life literally revolves around swords, in a way. He doesn't have many friends, he has trouble connecting with his peers due to his talent and how others perceive him. His soul and anchor is his passion for swordplay, and his adeptness at it.
So, his first defeat at the hands of a swordmaster who was much greater at wielding it was like having his soul shattered in half. Meeting Jingliu and Blade and tasting bitter defeat two times in a row would've left him more than simply 'defeated' - it would have left him broken, in a way. Yanqing was so attached to the sword that he let it define him, and therefore, with only one such thing as his anchor to his self-worth, one true, utter defeat was enough to set him into a spiral.
I think even though, in later updates, he's seemingly gotten back on his feet, this spiral, this train of thought in the back of his mind isn't truly gone.
Okay, we've all seen the heliobus scene, and I think in there, Yanqing was genuinely tempted to take its offer. Before, he felt like he could take his time in getting better and improving, but after seeing how powerful jingliu really is, I think he would've been discouraged, but then encouraged to do more. However, it's not a healthy kind of encouragement - it's a desire to be better born of bitterness and anger, dissatisfaction and self-hatred.
Jing Yuan mentions that he needs time to be able to curb his strength and harness it properly. Shortcuts cannot be taken in learning something like the sword, and that is a lesson that he learns. However, I think that scene where Jing Yuan puts faith in Yanqing, and then Yanqing comes back to his senses is genuinely an important one. It shows that Yanqing has a lot of trust in Jing Yuan, but also that one of his greatest insecurities is letting the General down.
Although Yanqing's ego almost entirely relies on how good he is with the sword, he also relies on Jing Yuan's perception of him in order to have self-esteem.
Jing Yuan is Yanqing's father figure. Let's not beat around the bush - Yanqing is like a little bird taking refuge on a lion's back. Jing Yuan is the one consistent adult in his life that gives im guidance and that helps him grow - how wouldn't he see Jing Yuan as his dad? And, as all children do, we seek attention, and praise from our parents - which is a perfectly normal and healthy thing to do.
However, their relationship... isn't that linear. Yanqing may see him as his father, but Jing Yuan is also his mentor - and as a mentor's job, you cannot just praise your apprentices, but you also must train them and criticize them.
Unfortunately, I think the way Yanqing was raised - for the battlefield, seeking praise and validation from Jing Yuan, who could not only see him as a son, but also as a mentee - would've permanently impacted the way that he sees himself, and the way his self-esteem image was created.
What I mean to say is - Yanqing's self-esteem is fragile. All of this is just leading to say that Yanqing doesn't have a stable sense of self, and this was the first time that it was truly broken for him. And that's hard. It's really hard to pick yourself back up after being put down like that, especially because Yanqing thinks that he's failed the one thing that he was supposed to do.
So, we enter another arc. After the Heliobus, we come back to the Xianzhou, and Yanqing and Yunli meet. His ego's still bruised, and her telling him that he's unworthy of the sword was literally one of the worst insults she could have ever done, because, as I've mentioned before, his identity revolves around swords.
Of course, they bicker back and forth, and then, they have a conversation. Yanqing admits that after his defeats, he started to question himself, and he admits that it was so hard to find his confidence again and to continue on.
However, he also states something important - he wields the sword because he loves the feeling of giving it all.
This is incredibly important, because this basically states that Yanqing loves not just to fight, not just to win or to lose - but to really put himself out there. He loves to challenge himself, he loves to get better, and he just loves his swords. He loves what he does, even despite all the expectations.
Yanqing's sword is an extension of himself, and by loving the sword and what he does, I think, he loves himself. This puts into light the idea that when he lost, he hated himself. But he's learned that loss does not mean loss forever - it just means that he had to find a purpose, do some self-reflection, and to try and understand.
So, that's on how Yanqing sees himself with the sword, and how it impacted his self-esteem, his ego, and his self-perception - but there's still something else I have to tackle.
His age. Because that impacts everything I just mentioned.
Haha, did you think I was done? No. No, I'm not. I'll also be doing another post on Yanqing and PTSD. Because I'm a genetic freak, and I'm not normal.
Yanqing, canonically, is a teenager - a young teenager, which is why I choose to portray him from 13-15, so maybe around 14 years old. The thing is - Yanqing is very good at acting much older than he is, which I think is part of the reason why there was so much debate over whether he was an adult or not at first. This just goes to show that he is incredibly good at putting on a mature face. There's no doubt that Jing Yuan has trained him in the realm of politics and has taught him how to handle people much older than he is.
Despite Yanqing's position mainly involving battle, which he is good at, with power comes diplomacy. So, Yanqing had to learn to be diplomatic from a young age due to his increased level of skill.
This leads to a skewed vision or approach to how he should present himself. Jing Yuan even explicitly says that if you treat him like a child, he'll act like an adult - but if you treat him like an adult, he'll act like a child. This is all due to perception.
Yanqing thinks that acting childish is weak, but if someone treats him like an adult - mature, he will gain the feeling that people aren't underestimating him, and will allow himself to act more like hismelf. However, if you were to treat him directly like a child, it would make him defensive and it would raise his emotional walls towards whoever was treating him like so.
Yanqing, generally, just... doesn't really feel like he can act like a kid. He's always been alienated from his peers due to his talent, so he never had any real friendships or connections, which probably fucked him over socially. This just leads to him alienating himself from the idea of being a child - people people are expecting him to not be childish and mature due to his position.
Yanqing sees his age as a barrier. It's preventing Jing Yuan from putting his full faith and trust into Yanqing, and due to how young he is, it can sometimes make him feel like he's more of a burden to the General more than anything else, which isn't good. Yanqing owes Jing Yuan his life, and he knows this, so to let down the man who trained him would be - as mentioned earlier, due to it being a heavy insecurity of his - terrible.
This leads to an almost sort of bitterness when it comes to the topic of his age, so that's why he probably reacts in a way that makes him seem like a 'true adult' when he's treated like the age that he is.
Yanqing views his age as a hindrance. Nothing more, nothing less.
I think I covered basically everything that I wanted to in terms of Yanqing's self-perception and self-esteem, as well as how his age and his connection with swords create that development between him. Next post will be about PTSD. Thanks for reading! :)
First of all, I WILL be rotating the idea of Yanqing acting like a child to get people to underestimate him in my brain
But I also want to throw in how Yanqing feels like losing is an insult to Jing Yuan. There's a line (though I unfortunately for the life of me cannot remember where from but I'm 10000% certain it's canon) where Yanqing says he looked at the Astral Express' data base and saw their enemies. He said he would need to train more in order to fight them because if he loses on the Luofu then it doesn't matter but if he loses off the planet then it reflects badly on the General. Yanqing feels like he owes a debt to Jung Yuan for training him and fears doing anything that would reflect badly on him.
Everyone: Please please please don't write your books in Google Docs. Frankly don't use Google Drive for personal stuff.
Their terms of service say they take down stuff like content related to terrorism and trafficking, but this Google Sheet was literally a list of movies I'd watched this year and books I'd read.
Holy smokes, guys. It's way worse than I thought. Google actually took away access to every single file of fiction writing I'd made on that account. BUT I backed it all up on Scrivener yesterday by coincidence. So I haven't lost my work, but I could have just lost the 12,000 words I've written this month after a year of really intense writer's block. I honestly don't know what that would have done to my psyche.
That is awful! If you're looking for a gdocs-like replacement, Ellipsus @ellipsus-writes is a queer friendly, anti-AI equivalent with online syncing and sharing - I've been using it for almost a year now as a replacement for gdocs and absolutely love it.
I do still back up all my work to local storage on LibreOffice too though, thank goodness you backed up to Scrivener OP!
Ellipsus is available on mobile through its PWA. They are actively trying to make a standalone app, but for now, follow this guide on how to install it.
Create, edit, and collaborate on documents on the go.
Everyone: Please please please don't write your books in Google Docs. Frankly don't use Google Drive for personal stuff.
Their terms of service say they take down stuff like content related to terrorism and trafficking, but this Google Sheet was literally a list of movies I'd watched this year and books I'd read.
Holy smokes, guys. It's way worse than I thought. Google actually took away access to every single file of fiction writing I'd made on that account. BUT I backed it all up on Scrivener yesterday by coincidence. So I haven't lost my work, but I could have just lost the 12,000 words I've written this month after a year of really intense writer's block. I honestly don't know what that would have done to my psyche.
That is awful! If you're looking for a gdocs-like replacement, Ellipsus @ellipsus-writes is a queer friendly, anti-AI equivalent with online syncing and sharing - I've been using it for almost a year now as a replacement for gdocs and absolutely love it.
I do still back up all my work to local storage on LibreOffice too though, thank goodness you backed up to Scrivener OP!
Ellipsus is available on mobile through its PWA. They are actively trying to make a standalone app, but for now, follow this guide on how to install it.
Create, edit, and collaborate on documents on the go.
@merry-fagoland my asks are broken so I'm @ you instead of sending you an ask but what have you done. I saw your Celestia hater polycule ages ago and then suddenly it grabbed my by the throat a few days ago and forced me to make this wtf /lh
(I should have chosen a lighter color for Furina's part to make it stand out against Dain's but oh well)
3. there are subtitle extensions like substital that offer subtitle tracks for free.
you can either download a subtitle track separately (archive.org offers these sometimes actually) and then sync it through substital OR:
there are many offers for different languages, these are subtitles that WILL sync to this video because it only searches things that are the same runtime.
i know this because i used to watch tons of international films and tv without english subtitles available! and this is awesome. and super functional.
Kinda horrified at all the people talking about using scratched up non-stick pans and not realising that Teflon and other coatings are so very carcinogenic. PFAS (carcinogenic forever chemicals) build up in your body like lead or mercury.
^ Don't fucking use this ^
I need young people and the older ones too apparently, to invest in at least one good thick based stainless steel pan. It's better for cooking and it won't give you cancer.
Stainless steel pan? You can scrub that shit with a steel scourer... If stuff won't come off? You can soak it in a laundry active oxygen cleaner for an hour or two and it will come right off, then rinse with clean water and you're golden. You want to whisk your eggs in the pan? Literally no downside, but in a non-stick pan you get CANCER flakes.
Stainless steel is easy to clean and anything cast iron does stainless cookware with a thick base can do too, you can even stick it in the oven.
Nothing specifically wrong with cast iron, in fact it's amazing... But I made this post for people who don't have the time, energy, or inclination to overcome the learning curve to care for cast iron.
People don't like stainless because their food sticks. But I have a lot of experience with various cookware materials & The Most Life Changing knowledge I've gained is to pre-heat your stainless steel or cast iron pan. Stainless steel has very small grooves in it that expand when they heat up. If there's oil or food in those grooves before they're done expanding, the food/oil gets stuck in those grooves as they close. That IS why your food sticks. That IS why you have that oil-puddle-shaped burn stain. (Barkeeper's Friend or Ajax can get that stuff out btw, read the instructions.) This is also why frozen food put into a hot pan always sticks. You also probably have the heat turned up too high.
Set your dial to medium or medium high or whatever (medium low for eggs, low if you're using gas). Wait for it to heat up. Set a timer if you need. You'll need to do some trial & error to find out how fast your stove heats up your pan. You'll get it figured out. NOW you put in your oil, slide it around & up the sides. NOW you are ready to cook. Your eggs will stick far less. It's easier to clean. You can use any utensil. Even a cheap stainless steel pan will last YEARS longer than your nicest non-stick.
you're not turning your fandom hobby into a job are you? giving yourself deadlines and quotas that you have to meet? focusing on the numbers instead of your enjoyment of the act of creation?
you're not taking your love of something and using it as a tool to hurt yourself are you? loving it so hard that you forget to take care of yourself? telling yourself that people only care about you because of what you make and that they'll stop if you take a break? pushing yourself to work instead of rest so that the thing that used to give you joy and energy is now also burning you out, like everything else?
Alex/Sorena @alex-the-nefarious - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag