You had been contemplating it for months. And during this time, the list of reasons seemed to keep growing and growing. Sometimes, you'd come home and feel like you were completely underwater. Your head would ache and your heart would hurt and you were gasping for air. You had your parents, your friends and your boyfriend, Alex, but even all the happy things in your life seemed to be weighed down by the negative.
That night, you were in your room, once again contemplating when your dad opened your bedroom door. "Your mother and I are going out for the night. We should be home around 11." You nodded, and he left. You had had enough of contemplating. Tonight was the night you were going to take your own life. The pain had become unbearable for you, and at this point it seemed like the only option. You got a pen and a piece of paper and scrawled out a suicide note, apologizing to your mom and your dad and your friends and Alex. Most of all, you explained why you were doing this. They deserved that much, right? You folded the paper in half and left it in your desk, before making your way to the bathroom.
You fiddled with the razor in your hand as you watched the bath water fill up and once it got to a satisfactory level, you drew in a shaky breath and turned off the faucet on the bathtub. Having already shed yourself of all your clothes, you stepped in and sunk to your knees, before laying down completely and being cloaked by the water. You took out the razor, and turned out your arm, leaving deep gashes in your wrists. You watched as your blood mixed with the water and you repeated the process, until you felt your eyelids getting heavy. You thought you heard a loud bang from downstairs, but you were losing blood quickly, and were in no state to question what was going on around you. Besides, everything you heard sounded as if it were far away. You heard another loud noise, followed by the distant calling of your name. You were starting to see stars now, and you didn't reply. Your eyes began to close, and your heard slid under the water.
(Alex's P.O.V.)
(Y/N) made plans to hang out with me that night. I'm not if she forgot or something along those lines, but I texted her a few times, wanting to confirm whether or not I should come over. She didn't reply after about 30 minutes, so I figured it'd be alright. Besides, she hadn't quite been herself lately. She was much more quiet and withdrawn, especially with me. A part of me deep down thought something might have been wrong. Stop worrying, I scolded myself, She would never do something like that.
I pulled into her driveway and noted her dad's car wasn't there, so I figured her parents were out. I let myself into the house, and made my way up to her room. I was about to open her bedroom door, and that's when I saw the bathroom light on, as well as it's door shut. "Y/N?" I called out. "Are you in there?" I put my hand carefully on the doorknob, and turned it slightly. It wasn't locked. So, I let myself in. What I saw when I walked in absolutely crushed in. I was paralyzed for a moment, whether it was to process what was going on or what I was seeing, I don't know. All I know was that (Y/N) lay in the bathtub, eyes half- shut, her head floating right underneath the water and blood was pouring from open gashes in her wrists. After my moment of shock, I reached as fast as I could into my back pocket for my phone and called 911. Once I knew someone was on their way, I made my way over to her, lifting up her head and holding it in my hands. Stupidly, I shook her roughly, and asked in a loud voice, "(Y/N), are you awake? Can you hear me?" Tears threatened to fall and I wiped the forming ones away quickly before grabbing a towel and wrapping her in it, lifting her out of the water. I also grabbed some gauze from the medicine cabinet and put them over her wrists, absorbing the blood that kept seeping out. Finally, the ambulance got here and the paramedics gave her a blood transfusion, as well as some oxygen and bandaged up her cuts. Finally, she was starting to come to.
(Your P.O.V.)
You woke up to find yourself surrounded by strangers with an oxygen mask over your nose and mouth. You still felt tired, but realized you were starting to feel better with every breath you took. Suddenly, Alex came into view and you felt even better. But..wait a minute...this meant you didn't die...and that Alex must have saved you. You sat up slightly, and looked at Alex, taking the oxygen mask off. "I feel better now." You told the paramedic next to you. "Miss, if you could keep that on-"
"I'll put it back on in a second, I just need 5 minutes to talk to the man who called you over here, alright? Then, I'll go to the hospital. Right now, I feel fine." Reluctantly, they let you go with Alex to your bedroom, where you almost immediately fell into his arms. "Thank you, Alex." You whispered, clinging to his t-shirt. "Darling, I wish you would've told me how you were feeling. I would've done anything to help you."
"I'm sorry, I just, I couldn't take it anymore," You buried your head in his chest, blinking back tears. "Do you know how much pain I'm in? I can't take it."
"Don't you understand? I can at least try to fix everything in your life that's causing all this, and then you could maybe start therapy or just get the help you need. But, if you were to die just then, just imagine how your parents and I would feel. That's something we can't fix. You'd be gone, forever. And then I'd be the one in pain." You snorted. "You're saying I'm selfish, then?"
"No, no, no." He reassured, wrapping his arms more securely around you. "I'm just saying how you feel right now is how I'd feel if such a place existed without you."
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