The Stages of Grief After a Breakup (and How to Survive Each One)
There’s a reason why a breakup often feels like a death. Whether you’ve initiated the breakup or on the receiving end of one, there is a definite mourning period that comes at the end of a relationship.
“When a relationship is truly treasured, a breakup can be incredibly stressful mentally, emotionally, and physically,” says Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a clinical psychologist and author of Date Smart: Transform Your Relationships and Love Fearlessly. “It’s natural to grieve the loss of the person, the relationship, and the relationship routines that felt precious and familiar. When a person is highly invested in a love relationship, the breakup can be as devastating as the actual death of a loved one. When we grieve, we are giving the psyche a chance to move through—and come to terms with—the heavyweight feelings that arise from a significant loss.”
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It’s no surprise that the five stages of grief, first outlined by psychologist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, can also be applied to a breakup.
“The five stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—are not linear in nature. A person suffering from grief can cycle through the first four stages before ultimately—if ever—reaching the stage of acceptance,” Manly says. “Some rapidly cycle through the various stages (for example, shifting from denial to anger and then quickly back to denial) whereas others may stay in a stage such as depression for a protracted time period. Whether grief results from the ending of a relationship, termination of a much-loved job, or loss of a loved one, the stages are the same.”
With that in mind, here are the five stages of grief after a breakup, and tips for navigating each one.
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